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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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@intoxbrats
Concept: we go to the car show. Every time we run out of beer you send me back to the booth. Within two hours I'm swaying in the heat. Sipping on a pint in each hand, waiting to get two more pints. At some point I get cut off but thankfully you have a cooler full of beer on the trunk of your 1950s caddy. By 3pm I'm slumped in a folding chair, plastic cup of beer spilling on my crotch while I snore under an 80°f sun
I would never be stupid enough to imply that there's such a thing as being too fat. The bigger the better after all~ That being said... I Love when a girl starts getting too big for things. Too soft to button up her jeans all the way, too heavy to get off the couch on her own, Too taut to walk without a waddle after a nice stuffing, too round to board roller coasters and water slides~ There's no such thing as being too fat, but god I love when fat starts to get in the way~
i had a dream the other night where i started dipping into my addictions and it got so bad i started gaining weight from the amount of drinking and smoking i was doing. my partner had realized what was going on too late and broke up with me because i turned into such a loser-- slurring my words constantly, getting all burpy and stupid, not to mention my clothes were too small so i looked like shit. and the whole time i couldn't stop leaking.
Weekend plans:
My girlfriend has been behind on her housework lately, so I’ve decided to make it a little game for her!
Step 1. As soon as she wakes up she has to dress up in a slutty little maid outfit, and she must finish the mystery drink I’ve prepared for her.
Step 2. For every chore she completes she earns one shot.
Step 3. For every hour that passes she has to finish one drink of my choosing.
When she finishes all the chores on her list she can pick out any bottle in the bar as a reward!
You’ve noticed your wife has been more stressed than usual lately. She has a new boss who’s been giving her a hard time, and at the end of the day she is just burnt out, and crabby. You hate to see her that way.
You tried all your usual tricks, a massage after work, a glass of wine with dinner, but she wasn’t responding to any of it, so you decided to try something new. Since the new year she’s been really trying to drink more water. She has a Stanley cup and she fills it up from the fridge spigot during breaks, so her cup is always full for her to sip on during the work day.
While she’s in one of her long meetings you adjust the supply lines in the fridge, to make things a little more fun. Not enough that she could taste anything, but hopefully enough to make her days a little easier.
She comes and fills her cup up not long after you make the switch, and you do your best to keep your smile to yourself. She’s tense and frowning to herself, barely smiles at you when you say hi, acknowledging you with a short nod. You busy yourself around the house, working on some projects, and when she emerges from her office next she smiles at you. She seems more relaxed, but she hasn’t had enough yet to feel anything really. You give her a kiss, and when she goes back into her office you make another adjustment, increasing the ratio.
She joins you for lunch later, and she definitely seems more relaxed now. She’s fills her cup again, and you slide the plate over, you’ve made sandwiches for both of you. She’s able to talk and laugh with you over your meal, which hasn’t happened in weeks. By the time you’ve finished lunch she’s finished another cup, and fills it again. She giggles when you pull her close to kiss her, swatting you away, and retreating to her office.
You have to run some errands after lunch, so you’re out of the house for a few hours. You come home a little late, with takeout for dinner. You’re delighted to find out that she’s logged off on time for once, her office is closed, and she’s in the living room, holding a glass of wine in one hand, her trusty Stanley cup in the other. She beams beautifully at you, calling your name as you walk through the door. “Hii baby!” She slurs slightly, “I hope you don’t mind I started without you!”
You think you’re going to have fun with this new toy. Maybe tomorrow you can play with the ratio a little more…
Oh, that would be so fun . . . I'd love to get her so loose and happy that she insists on having "fun" together.
6b. To do: tequila 7x
Nbb. Vodka6x
Beer x3
Good when u was in hs I saw a vid of a woman so wasted she passed out kid blowjob. He kept thrusting in her mouth while she laid their floping around. At some point she sat up almost immediately toppling over and smacking herself in the face.
Another video of of a topless girl slurring heavily, downing tequila to rid herself of hiccups
And a bleach blond wander around a dowing two bottles of vodka getting wasted fucked on park bench
Concept: gf that's blacked out the first week of the month
Stoned and drunk the second week of the month
Stoned the rest of the month.
Rinse & repeat
Wanna be a ussbbw but my o2 mask is a bing and I'm forced to inhale to ope 24/7 and liquor filled malts are forced down my throat
gonna start pouring vodka in the little gap I make when I close my fat ass thighs together, so you can use it as a water bowl like the dumb mutt you are.
Want someone to put on a show for me. I tell them they have to stop drinking when I think they're acting too drunk, so they spend all night trying to be sober. The thing is, I keep refilling their drink.
They have to think extra hard to form sentences, control their mouth so they don't slur, and avoid getting up so they don't stumble everywhere.
By the time they're too drunk to keep up the act, they're fucking sloshed
"i don't fucking care how whiskey-limp ur dick is, im gonna make you cum until im done. playing. with you."
yknow it's rrlly thinkin aboutthe little things to get through hard times :')
no pun intended
