Old Soul @introvertoldsoul - Tumblr Blog

That's the thing, it is better to think you have no one than to expect that you actually have somebody. Anxiety kills you for nothing.

Pakyu!

I had the usual day of my life. Gising ng maaga para pumasok. Di naman maulan pero di rin naman kainitan kaya maganda ang byahe. Pagdating sa office start ng work. Nasa isip ka palagi. Pero pinipigilan ko lalo na anxiety ko na masyado ka nageenjoy pero di mo ako naaalala masyado. Ok lang sabi ko sa sarili ko. Pigilan ko magmessage sabi ko sa sarili ko. Isippin ko lang wala naman talaga ako boyfriend. Single lang naman talava ako kaya di ko dapat isipin sya. At lalong di ko dapat alalahanin pa sya. Work work habang tanghalian. Syempre ako pa rin unang nagmessage sayo. Alas dos na ng hapon ko. At ala una yun ng madaling araw mo dun ka pa lang nakauwi at matutulog. Half day na puno ng anxiety naramdaman ko sa pagiintay at pagiisip sayo kasamang stress sa work.

Gabi ko..umaga mo. Naghihintay na naman ako sayo. Pero syempre ano oa nga ba ieexpect ko, tanghali na syempre gigising. Isisingit n lang ang pagkkwentuhan sa akin. Bakit ba lagi ko hinihintay ka putangina!

Thorns in my heart. I must protect it. I accept that I have flaws but Itry to always be considerate and understanding as I can be. All those words that struck me, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. I have been breaking into pieces on my own yet I still tried to understand your side of stories...always. always saying sorry at the end as if it is always my fault. I am a bit tired. I cannot show you how jealous I am, how sad I am, how outrage I am as I have million of rants...all you want to see is the happy and jolly side of me. Not accepting and considering and understanding my side of stories. Yes you are a logical person. Everything must have a good explanation. And I hate it and I am tired of it. I must protect myslef. I have to bring back the pieces of me.

May it be a moment of sadness or a moment of happiness, I always feel like I am alone. To people I wish to celebrate with me don't seem to really care and so happiness become sadness. And nothing can lighten up my day anymore.

#life #death