So Bootyful

Movie Night, Movie Right?

He felt tense which made her just as tense, ready to leap off of him the instant he said he was uncomfortable. Only he didn’t. Instead, he relaxed, nodded, and even wrapped an arm around her, much to her surprise. Not that she minded at all. In fact, she really loved the fact that she was able to cuddle up to him this way and be this physically close to him. He made her feel safe in a way no other person probably ever could because she trusted him in a way that she could never possibly trust another person. They had an understanding of each other that she didn’t even know where to begin explaining. Perhaps their relationship with each other just wasn’t explainable. She couldn’t think of any string of words she could weave together to even begin to accurately describe it. All she knew was that ‘friends’ didn’t feel like nearly an adequate enough word.

The scent of oil still clung to his clothes though it was faint. She could probably only smell it due to her physical closeness to him. It was intermixed with his own natural warm scent and the whole combination just smelled like comfort. He was still a bit ridged, she could feel that, but that was alright. He could take his time relaxing. She knew this wasn’t easy for him and becoming comfortable with it would jus take time. She was almost comfortable enough to drift off to sleep however, only managing to stay awake as his own voice rumbled in his chest and stirred her. A soft smile graced her black lips “Your welcome Dirk, but you don’t need to thank me for being your friend. Trust me i’m just as grateful to have you around.”

The way he played with her hair was soothing and just like him, all repeating patterns and calculations. She paid attention for a while to she sound of his heartbeat and his breathing but soon the TV had her attention as she got caught up in the movie. The blonde girl jumped and practically started clinging to her friend as something jumped out in the movie As her grip relaxed she replied to him with a nod “Yeah i’m comfortable. Just relax alright? try and have a good time because I am and I really love being able to spend this time with you” She hoped that came off as reassuring.

Stalking Strider Jr.

#Stalking Strider Jr.#crowingtaxidermist

Dave definitely looked much cooler than his brother, at the very least he wasn’t wearing dumb pointy anime shades. Of course, all of her hopes and dreams that he may be infinitely cooler than his brother came crashing down as soon as he pretty much jumped out of his skin when she approached and nearly drown in his own coffee. What a way to go. Death by overpriced caffeinated drink. When he recomposed himself and actually smirked she held out some small sliver of hope that he might actually be cool right up until he opened his mouth and stuttered out his first sentence. Ok, so he wasn’t cool. Not by a long shot. He at least looked cooler than his brother though which counted for something she supposed. “...Your Dave, you guess? Shouldn’t you know if you are Dave or not?” Roxy teased with a small laugh, watching with a raised brow as Dave actually got up to pull the chair out for her. It was something she was very unused to but she supposed chivalry wasn’t dead after all “Well, look at you, Dirk didn’t mention you were a gentlemen” hanging her black cat-faced purse on the back of the chair she happily took a seat and waited patiently for him to sit across from her.

“My name? Probably what you’ll be screaming tonight if this all goes well” She laughed a bit and sipped at her own coffee “Seriously though it’s Roxanne Chardonnay Lalonde but you can just call me Roxy. As for what I want with you well...Dirk showed me some pictures of you and said we would get along so I was curious. Thought you might be cooler and maybe more flirty than your brother. Judging by that blush on your face though my guess is you probably aren’t. Well, maybe more flirty at least and you sure look more cool so...i’m holding out hope” She leaned back in her chair with a small smirk.

“Also, I wouldn’t count on me getting bored of you, Strider Jr. If you are anything at all like your brother, chances are you will be seeing a lot of me from here on out. Hell, even if you aren’t like your brother you will probably see a lot of me. I tend to spend a lot of time around Dirk so since you are his brother” She shrugged a bit. “Besides, like I said, if this goes well you might be seeing a lot of me, literally. Wonk” She said coyly, giving him a wink and flashing him a white toothed grin. Time to find out just how well Strider Jr. responded to flirting.

Get In Loser, We’re Going Pet Shopping!

“I don’t want to take my chances Rose! I mean I probably could have waited but I really just didn’t want to. I haven’t slept and I didn’t want to wait another hour. I just want to go and buy myself a cat, take it home, and pass out with it snuggled up to my side ok? As for your cat…” Roxy took a moment to think, making her way over to a mirror as well to reapply her own black lipstick and make sure it wasn’t smudged. Sure it was like four in the morning and she was still wearing her pajamas but she would be damned if she was going to go out in public without lips that looked like they could poison anyone she kissed.

“I’m not sure. Jade had a dog in Highschool though, she was in the schools gun club with me. Actually, if you don’t know her yet, you should meet her, I feel like you two would get along. She’s a really sweet girl! Anyway, she had a dog and somehow got it approved with the school. Maybe you can talk to her and figure out how to have something similar done with your cat? Until then you will just have to keep it hidden. You’re a smart girl, I’m sure you can figure our how to hide a cat for a little while, even with our kitty play dates. I’ll even make it easy and bring my cat over here so you don’t have to smuggle your cat in and out of the dorms” Roxy said with a wave of her hand.

eldrichconfidant-blog

Rose blinked at her older sister, processing everything that was just said. “Wait, you haven’t gotten any sleep tonight?” Rose said choosing to mostly tune out on everything else Roxy had just said. Why hadn’t she gotten any sleep tonight, from Roses’ experience Roxy was usually out cold during the night. But not getting any sleep at all? “You can tell me more on the way, let’s get moving for right now.” Rose said as she stood up and opened the door and headed down the hall, dragging Roxy along for once

“So what pet shop we’re you thinking of going to then? I don’t know of any near the campus, the only ones I can even think of right now are the ones in town back home.” Rose said once they were out of the dorm buildings.

#eldrichconfidant #get in loser we're going pet shopping!

“Nope, was binge reading some wizard fanfiction someone posted online. It was super good, a full 47 chapters! I just couldn’t put it down and burned through the whole thing” Roxy informed “Then I realized what time it was and decided if I was awake this long I might as well just go all the way and head on down to the pet shop I have had my eye on” Roxy had to laugh a bit as Rose dragged her along for once out of the dorm by the arm. Oh how the tables had turned. She was Glad Rose did though, she was eager to get going.

“Right meow pet store!” Roxy exclaimed with a bright grin “There is a few stores in Skaia off campus. That one just looks so cute but I haven’t actually gotten to visit it yet. They specialize in everything cat related! Might even pick up some good cat food for feeding the local strays while i’m there”

Stalking Strider Jr.

She had been sitting in this coffee shop for at least an hour now. Not that Roxy really minded all that much, she liked Coffee shops. It gave her the opportunity to watch people, sometimes even flirt with a few people. There would be no flirting today though. Today was about serious business....well ok there might be a little flirting- or a lot- if and when she found the person she was looking for. For now she had to stay vigilant so that she would be able to pick the boy, who she had only seen in photos, out of the crowd. Okay so that made it sound a little bit creepy and maybe it sort of was, but she was best friends with said boy’s older brother so that gave her grounds to be creepy as far as she was concerned. Besides, she wouldn’t even have to do this if Dirk had just given her a little bit of information about his younger brother but nooo he had to be cagey and aloof as ever, leaving her to dig up information on her own. Luckily she had managed to get enough information to know that Condybucks was where Dave had a tendency to be after his shifts at work so she just had to stake the place out long enough to run into him.

Condybucks wasn’t exactly her favorite coffee shop in the world. In fact, normally she avoided the place like the plague but now that she was here she had to admit it wasn’t all that bad. She had ordered some fancy drink topped with whipped cream and it had a very sweet and creamy taste to it, almost like some drinkable dessert instead of coffee. The drink remained grasped in one hand, the nails of her other drumming against the table as she looked around, trying not to focus on any one person too long. Easier said than done considering everyone in the whole damn coffee shop looked even hotter than her coffee. Finally, she saw the person she had been looking for, sitting at a table on the other side of the shop. He was even cuter in person if she was being honest. She only hoped he was a little more sexy and flirty than Dirk so that she would have someone around to entertain herself with. Taking another sip of her coffee the blonde stood and made her way over to his table, walking up behind him.

She walked up to the side of the table and bent over, resting her elbows on the wooden surface with a wide grin on her face “So, you must be the Dave Strider I have heard so much about huh? Well actually so little. I wish I had heard more about you. Your brother would just not give up any information on you though! He did say we would probably get along at least so that is a promising sign I suppose” She muttered, looking him from head to toe now that she was closer to him. He was very well dressed which was a tad surprising considering Dirk almost always dressed for function. It was a good look though, made him look very fashionable. She wondered if he was single. Probably. Dirk hadn’t mentioned Dave having any sort of significant other. That made him totally eligible boyfriend material, now she just had to not mess this up.

#crowingtaxidermist #ci closed post #Stalking Strider Jr.

Movie Night, Movie Right?

Roxy rolled her eyes but decided not to comment on the fact that it was in fact weird for Dirk to think that in depth about it. She knew Dirk well enough by now to know that he couldn’t help but think in logical ways like that so she decided to just let the subject drop, even if it meant not getting upset that she couldn’t have fun with imagining it anymore on her own.

Roxy ruffled Dirks hair one more time before letting him fully sit up to look over the movies once again “I don’t really care. I picked the last one so you should get to pick this one. A thriller sounds good if that’s what you want to go with though.” She noticed him motion her over and paused a moment with a somewhat surprised expression. She knew Dirk wasn’t exactly the most comfortable person in the world with physical contact but...Maybe she had grown to be the exception to the rule? She thought about asking him if he was sure but she already knew he must be or he wouldn’t have motioned her over.

She slid closer to him, moving slowly as if moving too fast might startle him off as she sat beside him. She just stayed there for a second, watching how he reacted to her new closeness very carefully. When she decided he was fine She moved closer yet, leaning against his side and laying her head on his shoulder, perfectly content with the physical contact. “Hey Dirk?...this ok? Or do you want me to move back to where I was”

Movie Night, Movie Right?

Roxy took the phone and scrolled through the photo’s for a bit “Nah, i’m not about to try and get with your brother. I feel like that would sort of be really weird considering your like a brother to me and that kinda makes him like a brother to me by extent. Plus your brother seems like a total fucking nerd. I mean look at all these selfies! Would still love to meet him though” She handed the phone back with an affectionate smile.

“I’m sure he and I would get along well and even if we didn’t he could always just tell me embarrassing stories about you when you were young” She teased, allowing her fingers to run through his hair in a sort of affectionate and soothing way. “And for the record, I’m glad you make me happy too.” She hoped she made him happy as well but she knew he wasn’t the type to really voice such feelings, even to her.

“He was a ginger? Shame he changed it, Could have made a pretty cute ginger. Oh well. Wait, wait, does his carpet match his drapes? Actually don’t tell me, it would probs be kinda weird if you knew that and I don’t really wanna know if you know.” She said hurriedly, downing the rest of her wine.

Movie Night, Movie Right?

#blondrobotics #movie night movie right?#CI reply

Roxy had to laugh a bit at what he said “Well i’m glad you at least see the value of forming the emotional attachments that come along with friendship. I mean. while I would love a relationship in my life, you make me happy right now so I don’t need to worry about finding someone who makes me happy. Fuck that was sappy” She laughed as she realized the words that had spilled from her mouth. “It’s true though!” She raised her glass to her lips and took a long drink before setting it down on the table in front of her.

“Wow, ok, you really had me going there for a sec! I thought I was about to get some juicy deets on what sex is like for a robot. Can you imagine the scientific breakthrough?” She teased though she quickly became uncharacteristically serious, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Dude, there is nothing wrong with you! Well...ok I mean there is loads of shit wrong with you but that’s what you have me around for, and being aromantic or asexual or both is totally not something that’s wrong! If you still think you need a shrink though I could set you up with my younger sister. She’d probs analyze the fuck out of you free of charge” She laughed

At the mention of his brother Roxy raised a curious brow “I would love to meet your younger brother! You got pics of him? Is he cute? I mean, like adorable cute of course, I'm not about to go macking on your little brother....well not seriously anyway. Might do it a bit just to mess with him but not if it would make you uncomfortable” She decided.

Get In Loser, We’re Going Pet Shopping!

#eldrichconfidant #get in loser we're going pet shopping!#ci reply

“I don’t want to take my chances Rose! I mean I probably could have waited but I really just didn’t want to. I haven’t slept and I didn’t want to wait another hour. I just want to go and buy myself a cat, take it home, and pass out with it snuggled up to my side ok? As for your cat...” Roxy took a moment to think, making her way over to a mirror as well to reapply her own black lipstick and make sure it wasn’t smudged. Sure it was like four in the morning and she was still wearing her pajamas but she would be damned if she was going to go out in public without lips that looked like they could poison anyone she kissed.

“I’m not sure. Jade had a dog in Highschool though, she was in the schools gun club with me. Actually, if you don’t know her yet, you should meet her, I feel like you two would get along. She’s a really sweet girl! Anyway, she had a dog and somehow got it approved with the school. Maybe you can talk to her and figure out how to have something similar done with your cat? Until then you will just have to keep it hidden. You’re a smart girl, I'm sure you can figure our how to hide a cat for a little while, even with our kitty play dates. I’ll even make it easy and bring my cat over here so you don’t have to smuggle your cat in and out of the dorms” Roxy said with a wave of her hand.

Get In Loser, We’re Going Pet Shopping!

#eldrichconfidant #get in loser we're going pet shopping!

Roxy was almost ninety-nine percent sure cats were not allowed in the dorms but she was also sure alcohol wasn’t allowed and she snuck that in just fine all the time. Combined with all the other stuff people snuck around campus, she wasn’t that worried about getting caught for a cat. “We are awake because I knew it would take you a bit to get ready aaand I wanted to be there right when the doors open! That way we get first pick of the really cool cats!”

“pfft, in that light your hair almost looks white. you look kinda almost like a ghost” She teased, poking her sisters face though she doubted she looked a whole lot better. “Now come on, do whatever you have to do to get ready! I want to get going!”

whiteprinceblackheart-archi-blog

Driving Miss Roxy

There was little more Eridan hated than being woken up, while he was an early riser yes that necessitated actually sleeping early and not having it interrupted by someone who had clearly been drunk. Eridan believed in many things, a good night’s sleep, a carefully managed rep, and near totalitarian control over the rumor mill through intimidation and bribery. As much as he wanted to tell Roxy off for violating the first she had threatened him with the second and third, it was times like this that he wished he drank coffee though he would just likely Irish it up metaphorically replacing the whiskey with the vodka he constantly tried to convince himself that he loved. (‘It’s Russian!’ He would tell himself as if he needed to be a walking cliche.) Unfortunately though he was awake and Roxy was blackmailing him, which irritated him to no end, how did she even know what he used to be like, he didn’t remember her and most of the others who would have known from that time had washed out of the school.

The night air was cool as he pulled into the parking lot, the cheesy nightclub was even named ‘the acrobatics club’, it was the perfect place for someone like Roxy to try and troll up a date for the night. If he was honest Roxy wasn’t unattractive just annoying, she had goosed him more than once back when they were in high school and he had been surprised that she hadn’t during Jade graduation. Perhaps he was harsh on her but when he was woken out of a sound sleep he tended to get cranky. He could feel the music from outside of the building, the bass was making his teeth rattle with each thump and only furthered his irritation, he just wanted this night to be done with but with how drunk she sounded he would have to walk her up to her dorm as well. Maybe he could get Nepeta or Meenah to take her off his hands once he got her up to the door then he could just go to sleep. He could only hope that things went that well, and Roxy knew she wouldn’t be able to use this blackmail anymore, he would put up with a lot of things from her but she would either keep the secret or she would be silenced somehow.

Waiting outside for her he tried to ignore the sound of the music in the club, and the odd sound of drunken protesting from people who wanted to keep the party going. Really why couldn’t roxy call a cab, her sister, Caliborn, or Jade. Did Jade have a car? He made a mental note to buy Jade a pedal bike, she would probably need a job for the scholarship she undoubtedly had by now, he heard her say something about her grandfather being loaded but he knew she didn’t like to use his money and buying her a car outright while possible probably wouldn’t be something she would accept, it was expensive too a bike was much more manageable. He needed to get something with a roof for the winter months himself. Getting annoyed with the wait he sent her a text to get her ass out here or he would leave her there. Lack of sleep made him cranky and being made to wait only made it worse.

whiteprinceblackheart-archi-blog

Roxy had been really looking forward to this because honestly drinking alone at home all of the time was just depressing. Going out clubbing gave her an excuse to drink without people worrying about her so much. It meant she didn’t have to hear things like “Roxy you have a problem” and she could instead just have a good time while getting totally shitfaced. Her night so far had been a lot of fun, the lights flashing all around her were invigorating and she could feel the base in her bones as she danced to each song. She only left the dance floor to go to the bar and get more to drink. She started with a glass of wine and then had some fruity brightly colored drink with lots of ice in a huge cup, then she remembered doing some shots but she couldn’t remember of what. She was sure she had more than that but it was hard to keep track when everything was blurry and the room felt like it was spinning. At some point she found her designated driver at the bar getting just about as drunk as she was and needless to say she wasn’t happy. This whole thing had been so carefully planned out so that she could have a good time and then her driver just went and totally ruined her carefully constructed plans.

Thinking fast she pulled her phone from her bra to text someone to come get her. She supposed she could get Rose but then she would have to hear a lecture the whole way home and she so wasn’t up for that right now. Maybe Jade? Jade didn’t have a car though. Perhaps one of her roommates but she had to activly live with those people and didn’t want to risk pissing them off. Eventually, she decided on Eridan, her fingers flying across her phone’s screen. “eyyy eridamn! eridan*…actually nvm it shold be eridamn because damn that ass of yours is fiiiiine!!! ;3 ok but rlly tho I need somone to come pic me up. my diver driver* got tots wasted and the worlds kinda spinnin rite now…uh…like more than it usally is. its drunk spingnin not normal sponnin anf the duds at the door wont giv me bak my keys. buttom line is you gotta com get me ASAP an if you dont ill hav to tell everybooby what a nerd you were in mifdleschool” She felt bad about the blackmail but she had to make sure he would come get her. “oh you probs need the name of the place. it’s the acro-smthin. hold on thare is a sighn outside i’ll go read it brbr” She ran out of the building and onto the sidewalk, squinting to make out the lettering of the neon sign. “its the acrobatics club” She was very careful to make sure she actually spelled that right before sending it so that he would actually be able to come and get her.

By the time Eridan had gotten there Roxy had made her way down an alleyway and was feeding the stray cats bits of sushi she had gone back in and ordered from the bar in the club despite it being ridiculously overpriced. She had completely forgotten about Eridan until he texted her. She gave the cat a farewell rub behind the ears, making her way over to Eridan with a martini still in hand that she was sipping from “Heeeey~! Sorry bout having to call ya but I told those dudes at the door that i’m not as think as they drunk I am and they didn’t find it as funny as I did. Also they have this cool tightrope thing they make you walk by the door to see if you are drunk and I got over it on my fifth try but they still wouldn’t give me my keys.” She explained, her cheeks pink from the amound of alcohal she had consumed, her words clearly slurred as she teetered a bit on her feet “Oh also, you gotta take those grumpy pants of your off. There is no bein grumpy when mama Rox is drunky or something like that”

He had no interest in her excuses or level of sobriety honestly, Roxy was a hesitant friend sure but it was hard not to like the friendly girl, except when she was TOO friendly. Roxy was a sexual harassment lawsuit just waiting to happen, unfortunately she was also the best sniper in the school barring him, Jade was decent but she preferred the quick burst of an assault rifle or a normal rifle. Caliborn wanted to dual wield AK-47’s, so in the end the sniping spot came down to him or Roxy, and his natural competitiveness always made sure that he had to be the best. (He didn’t want to admit she might be better, they both could do the numbers mostly in their head but she seemed faster.) She probably didn’t even care for the skill really, she was also probably the school’s premier programmer and hacker as well as voted most likely to become a mad scientist back in high school. Though he recalled the competition was between her and Jade on that but it was determined that Jade would be far too distracted by robot dogs. He had sat in on the meeting mostly because he could, in high school he generally was able to do most of what he wanted and people never questioned it due to the rumors he had spread about himself. College was so different than high school too, in high school he had been king of the sea, but now that he was in college no one seemed to care anymore and he actually had to give an effort in most classes, he was still disappointed in that C he had gotten in the comp sci class he had taken, computers just were not for him.

Unfortunately for him it was possible that Roxy had met him and he just didn’t remember, he was rarely in class getting special permission to just be in the library. (Though it had been more ‘let the guppy do whatebber he wants, he ain’t hurtin’ no one and last person who tried to make him to go class lost a finger, which is not covered by insurance.’) He just couldn’t remember her though as much as he searched his memory and just didn’t remember a blonde with pink eyes, one would think that would be pretty memorable but what he mostly remembered was the smell of the books and the feel of each page. He loved wizard novels then escaping from his awkwardness and puberty into tales of wizardry and adventure, his first introduction had been an ancient series of tomes called ‘Harry potter’ and from there he delved into more and more adventures each more advanced than the last, the hobbit followed by the lord of the rings, the dark tower series had been interesting though the lack of actual wizards made him frown. Anything to get away from the world of cracking voices and acne, he had just wanted puberty to end, the pain from the cramps kept him up at night, ‘growing pains’ they called them. He had started to notice the opposite sex at that age too so someone as friendly as Roxy would have stood out even more, but the longest encounter that he could remember was with a girl in pigtails who kicked his ass but she transferred out of the school, he didn’t even think he got her name.

“Okay a couple things: First of all.” He grabbed the Martini glass out of the girl’s hand and threw it to the ground shattering the glass while keeping her eyes locked on hers. “No drinks in the sidecar.” He groused not wanting to deal with Roxy. “Second of all you are lucky I am wearing pants.” He didn’t have a shirt, he had been asleep when she called and he normally only slept with a privacy sheet much to the chagrin of Caliborn who had walked in on him changing more than once. “Third of all, you should consider yourself lucky that I don’t slit your throat and leave you in the gutter.” His violet eyes flashed in anger. “This is a one time thing and I will be as grumpy as I feel the need to be Roxy, I was asleep when you called me, it’s fucking midnight.” Honestly she had been lucky Aradia wasn’t over, if she had asked him to stay in bed he might just have, it sounded a lot more pleasant than driving to pick up a drunk friend. “Also fourthly if you pinch my ass at all during this trip I will dump you in the ocean. Which other than sobering you up, will also ruin your bra.” He had found that tidbit out from Jade so it made an effective threat, of course knowing Roxy she might not wear a bra, he didn’t actually know.

#whiteprinceblackheart #Driving Miss Roxy

Roxy remembered Eridan vividly, mostly because the image of him had been etched into her memory due to her anger at his mere existence in middle school. He had pretty much lived in the wizard fiction section of the library, much to her dismay. It wouldn’t have been so bad except that he had a reputation for biting, something she didn’t mind now but when she was younger the reputation had frightened her. She heard he had actually bit a teacher's finger off and frankly she had wanted to keep all of her fingers. She also wanted to read wizard books though which meant she would have to sneak around to get them, sometimes even having to wait around long enough for him to leave either to get food or go to the bathroom so that she could grab an armful of books and leave before he got back. The worst of it had been when she decided to binge read harry potter for the first time only to find out he had the next book and she had to wait for it. That was all in the past though, she had pretty much gotten over it. Pretty much. She would probably always kind of hold a grudge for that. She remembered going as far as grabbing the next few books and leaving passive aggressive post-it notes for him to find. Now that she thought about it, it was actually sort of a shame they had never bonded over wizard stuff.

Roxy was snapped back to reality the second her martini glass was plucked from her hand and smashed to the ground, an exaggerated look of distressed shock on her face as she stared down at the sparkling bits of glass. “heeey, I was still drinkin’ that!” She frown, giving him a glare and crossing her arms over her chest as he continued his little tirade. “Honestly I think I would consider myself luckier if you weren’t wearing pants. wonk” She laughed drunkenly, mostly joking and trying to get a rise out of him “seriously though next time you should at least put on your ‘i’m not going to bite off Roxy’s head tonight’ pants” She did shut up a moment at the mention of considering herself lucky that he didn’t slit her throat and leave her in a gutter. There was some of the old Eridan she actually kind of feared, not that she was going to let him know that. He was actually even more intimidating now that he had bulked up and wasn’t wearing a shirt. Thanks to the alcohol in her system she, of course, kept making the stupid choice of talking “You were....you were sleepin? at midnight? It’s not even that late! Dude what the fuuck” She gave a very exaggerated roll of her eyes which glowed dimly in the darkness of the night “I’ll keep my hands to myself alright? Prim-promise” She made a small x over her heart with her finger.

“Just get me home, k? I’ll make it up to you later. Swear. And I actually am grat-grot-” She sighed growing frustrated with her won slurred words “thanks for coming to get me. now come on, i’m fuckin’ freezin’ my ass off here” She wrapped her arms around herself, rubbing vigorously at the exposed skin which was covered in goosbumps thanks to her lack of proper clothing. Short, skintight, black dresses were great for going out clubbing but not great for standing outside in the cold night air waiting for a ride. Probably not great for riding on a motorcycle either but if Eridan was able to do it without a shirt than she was sure she would live. She pulled off her heels and stumbled over to the sidecar, pretty much just falling in as she rubbed her sore feet “Still can’t believe my driver got smashed. totally inconsiderate.”

Movie Night, Movie Right?

#blondrobotics #movie night movie right?#CI reply

Roxy actually snorted with laughter, not ladylike or cute in any way but she just couldn't help herself. It was absolutely priceless to have her own act turned against her and Dirk imitated her so well. She was also really just happy to see Dirk smile. It was a rare sight for sure and she felt honored that she was one of the few privileged enough to see that side of him.

“Hey don’t you joke about that, my ass is fine as hell!” She laughed “I don’t know if most people our age talk like that. I mean, I do so you nailed your impersonation of me but I'm pretty sure I'm the only one I know who actually talks like that” She actually paused a moment, trying to recall anyone else she knew who talked that way. Try as she might, nobody came to mind. “Anyway, i’m sure i’ll get around to asking him out soon and if I get shot down i’ll just have to find someone for some rebound sex and then be on my merry way to my next crush. There is no heartbreak good sex and a bottle of fine wine can’t fix” This seemed to be Roxy’s life philosophy.

“Speaking of wine that bottle is calling my name” She stood and grabbed her glass, going to pour herself a bit more. She didn’t intend to get drunk and she could hold her alcohol well, she just wanted a bit more for the flavor as it was a pretty fancy bottle. She returned to the couch and sipped at her glass “So what about you Dirk? You still single for life? Or have you decided to take my advice and work on building yourself a robot partner?” She teased, deciding to try and take the subject off of her dating life.

carnifexexecutive-blog

See your Soul

Tierra hadn’t been one for heavy drinking for a long time, the years when she was able to rebound from over indulgence quickly being a thing of the past by now. It’s not that she was particularly old, but using alcohol also made genetic modifications go haywire a bit if one wasn’t careful. She just wasn’t one for seeing the world through a foggy glass anymore, but after a disagreement sent the Ampora Sr. packing for his shuttle early and leaving the Peixes headmaster at the front steps of her estate in just her bathrobe, she felt the desire to dull the pain a bit.

It wasn’t that the Peixes was even that attached to him, or really to anyone, but every time someone else made her smile, every time someone new made her feel content for a moment, she couldn’t help but feel like she was a bad person. Her husband had been dead for a few years now, but the thought still felt like a fresh wound that hadn’t even been looked at by a doctor. It was stupid, and she felt like an idiot for feeling that way, but after a long night with Ampora Senior - the first time she’d spent the night with someone since her husband - their abrupt depart left a chink in otherwise impenetrable armour. Usually Tierra was built of metal, she couldn’t be broken, but not when she was with someone else, not when she let herself be close to someone like that.

And so the condescending headmaster stumbled out of her office after the long day of work and stewing about what happened. Did she regret what she had said? No, not really. Would she take some of them back? That… Was up for debate. With the sleeves of her shirt rolled up, the Peixes made her way to where she could get a taxi home in a very slow way. Or at least, she would have, if seeing the glint of the statue made in commemoration of her late husband didn’t catch her eye in the pale light of the moons. Sauntering over with a half empty rum bottle still in her right hand, the headmaster sneered up at the gold statue, her husband’s peaceful face on the monument looking over and reading to two small children as an angelic figure of Tierra herself stood at his shoulder solemnly. She had been the one to request the statue be like this, but in that moment of drunken hurt, the Crocker executive couldn’t help but hate it.

Gritting her teeth, the Peixes continued to stare up at the statue, almost as if she had hoped it’d start talking to her and give deep advice like that which she’d get from a shaman. Or, say, from a fortune cookie. No such thing happened, besides after a bit of thought Tierra throttled her rum bottle at the monument, watching it shatter uselessly against her statue husband’s gold knee. With drunken tears starting to bubble down Tierra’s cheeks, the galactic mogul slumped to her knees as she screamed out shakily, “Is this what ya fuckin’ wanted?! Are ya proud yet, Sugah?! I spend fuckin’ YEARS thinkin’ ‘bout ya, tryna move on an’ be happy, but…” She sputtered, voice cracking a bit from the strain as she huffed out, “You an’ me… Sugah… We were meant to do dis all t’gether… Jus’ us, y’know?” She exhaled, feeling the hands of someone trying to haul her to her feet as she just absently hushed, “… Ya ‘fraid of me now? ‘Cause I’d be, if I were th’poor fucker tryna get their headmaster off’a dah ground.”

#see your soul #carnifexexecutive #CI reply

It wasn’t unusual for older of the two Lalonde sisters to be found walking around at night for a variety of reasons. It just so happened tonight was the night she had decided to go out and feed some of the local stray cats and she was just on her way back to her room when she heard yelling. It only took a few seconds of squinting into the darkness for her to realize who the silhouette belonged to. Everything in her told her she should bolt, she didn’t exactly like the dean. Not that she was ever particularly mean to Roxy or anything, the blonde just sort of had a bad feeling about her. The woman seemed to have her fingers in just about everything and Roxy was almost sure she owned everything on the planet she currently called Casa De Lalonde.

Her feet betrayed her, white sneakers glued firmly to the sidewalk as she stared on at the scene unfolding. Black coated lips pursed into a flat line as Roxy realized the totality of the situation, the dean was wasted, and not the fun kind of wasted. This sort of drunk was one Roxy herself experienced far too often. It was the kind of drunk a person got when there was a void within themselves they tried to fill with the contents of a bottle and when that didn’t work they kept drinking to at least try and stop the pain from the open wound. It was the sort of drunk when a person felt their only real friends were Jack Daniels and Captain Morgan. She couldn’t just leave her like that, to wallow in her own drunken misery. Not when Roxy knew how it felt. Not when Roxy could see some of herself in the older woman.

With a sigh and a look of sympathetic pity on her face she changed the direction she had been walking to head instead for the headmaster. Taking pause as the woman threw the bottle Roxy was pleased to see it shatter. It meant there was no more rum. A good thing as Condy didn’t look much like she needed any more at the moment and Roxy herself would probably need to stay pretty sober to deal with this situation. She resumed her quiet footsteps, almost silent as she approached and placed a delicate hand on the woman's shoulder. The dean didn’t even seem to notice until Roxy had decided to start trying to haul her to her feet.

“I’m not afraid of you” It was a lie, she was a bit scared of the inebriated woman but she did a hell of a good job hiding it. It suddenly occurred to her that she didn’t know exactly what to say. Saying that she knew what the older woman was going through seemed insensitive. Roxy hadn’t ever lost a husband after all. She did know what it was like to feel that empty but she didn’t know how to put that into words in a way that wouldn’t sound completely insensitive. “...Look...We uh...It’s cold outside alright? We need to get you inside and cleaned up and...fuck i’m bad at this! I know what you are doing though with the drinking and crying in front of some statue isn’t going to help you feel better. It’ll just make you feel more like shit.” She was sort of glad she got to see her headmaster like this actually. It made her seem more human.

Blonde Date With A Hopeless Romantic

When Roxy was little and people asked her the age-old question ‘what do you want to be when you grow up?’ she had always been able to answer easily. Each and every time without fail her answer had been “a wizard!” but then when the grownups would insist that magic wasn’t real and she had to pick a more practical life goal her next reply would be just as immediate but much more thought out “I want to be loved”. She had always known it wasn’t the response the grownups were looking for which was part of the reason she gave it. They would usually not know what to say to her after that response because they couldn’t exactly tell her what they had told her about magic. The other part of the reason she gave the answer was that it was true.

Now that she was grown up she was sure that her ten-year-old self would be kicking her ass. Despite all of the people around her who she spent so much time with her best friends were still Captain Morgan and Jack Daniels, Single life wasn’t always so bad, it had its perks. She got to sleep with whoever she wanted whenever she wanted, something she took full advantage of, and it was fun. While she did enjoy that though she was tired of being single. The blonde hadn’t had a date in over four years and she was tired of being alone. She just wanted to find someone who loved her, really loved her. The problem with this is that it was one of those things much easier said than done. She wasn’t even sure where to start looking to get back on the dating scene anymore which lead to her signing up for some online dating site called “Condy’s Connections”. Roxy swore that woman had her fingers in absolutely everything. Still, she ended up signing up and now here she was, getting ready for a date with someone who she had never actually met face to face. The computer had matched them up and they agreed on a blind date at the nearby coffee shop.

Honestly, she was way more nervous than she should have been. She could have sex with tons of people no problem but when it came to actual romance she suddenly got a bit tongue tied and started acting a raging ball of nerves. It took literally all of her self-control to not have a few drinks in order to calm herself down before this date and even if she wanted a drink now it was a bit late, she was already sitting at the coffee table and waiting. Her perfectly painted black nails drummed against the wooden surface of the coffee table she sat at, staring at the empty chair in front of her for a while until she got bored and looked around the coffee shop again for someone coming her way.

Fuck was she overdressed? Suddenly her slender fingers were pulling a bit at the purple fabric of her dress, feeling more uncomfortable the longer she had to wait. Maybe her date decided they just weren’t going to show up.She supposed she could still chicken out, run for the bathroom, and climb out a window. She probably should have asked for their name before agreeing to meet them. She only knew them by their username and they only knew her by ‘pussyliquor’, a username she thought was rather clever and funny. Thankfully she had the foresight to let her date know that she was in a black dress and would be at a table in the corner so there was at least some hope of finding her but she was seriously starting to doubt they would show.

#ci open post #blonde date with a hopeless romantic #this date is probably going to be awkward as heck #doubly so if it ends up being with someone she already knows

whiteprinceblackheart-archi-blog

Driving Miss Roxy

There was little more Eridan hated than being woken up, while he was an early riser yes that necessitated actually sleeping early and not having it interrupted by someone who had clearly been drunk. Eridan believed in many things, a good night’s sleep, a carefully managed rep, and near totalitarian control over the rumor mill through intimidation and bribery. As much as he wanted to tell Roxy off for violating the first she had threatened him with the second and third, it was times like this that he wished he drank coffee though he would just likely Irish it up metaphorically replacing the whiskey with the vodka he constantly tried to convince himself that he loved. (‘It’s Russian!’ He would tell himself as if he needed to be a walking cliche.) Unfortunately though he was awake and Roxy was blackmailing him, which irritated him to no end, how did she even know what he used to be like, he didn’t remember her and most of the others who would have known from that time had washed out of the school.

The night air was cool as he pulled into the parking lot, the cheesy nightclub was even named ‘the acrobatics club’, it was the perfect place for someone like Roxy to try and troll up a date for the night. If he was honest Roxy wasn’t unattractive just annoying, she had goosed him more than once back when they were in high school and he had been surprised that she hadn’t during Jade graduation. Perhaps he was harsh on her but when he was woken out of a sound sleep he tended to get cranky. He could feel the music from outside of the building, the bass was making his teeth rattle with each thump and only furthered his irritation, he just wanted this night to be done with but with how drunk she sounded he would have to walk her up to her dorm as well. Maybe he could get Nepeta or Meenah to take her off his hands once he got her up to the door then he could just go to sleep. He could only hope that things went that well, and Roxy knew she wouldn’t be able to use this blackmail anymore, he would put up with a lot of things from her but she would either keep the secret or she would be silenced somehow.

Waiting outside for her he tried to ignore the sound of the music in the club, and the odd sound of drunken protesting from people who wanted to keep the party going. Really why couldn’t roxy call a cab, her sister, Caliborn, or Jade. Did Jade have a car? He made a mental note to buy Jade a pedal bike, she would probably need a job for the scholarship she undoubtedly had by now, he heard her say something about her grandfather being loaded but he knew she didn’t like to use his money and buying her a car outright while possible probably wouldn’t be something she would accept, it was expensive too a bike was much more manageable. He needed to get something with a roof for the winter months himself. Getting annoyed with the wait he sent her a text to get her ass out here or he would leave her there. Lack of sleep made him cranky and being made to wait only made it worse.

#whiteprinceblackheart #Driving Miss Roxy

Roxy had been really looking forward to this because honestly drinking alone at home all of the time was just depressing. Going out clubbing gave her an excuse to drink without people worrying about her so much. It meant she didn’t have to hear things like “Roxy you have a problem” and she could instead just have a good time while getting totally shitfaced. Her night so far had been a lot of fun, the lights flashing all around her were invigorating and she could feel the base in her bones as she danced to each song. She only left the dance floor to go to the bar and get more to drink. She started with a glass of wine and then had some fruity brightly colored drink with lots of ice in a huge cup, then she remembered doing some shots but she couldn’t remember of what. She was sure she had more than that but it was hard to keep track when everything was blurry and the room felt like it was spinning. At some point she found her designated driver at the bar getting just about as drunk as she was and needless to say she wasn’t happy. This whole thing had been so carefully planned out so that she could have a good time and then her driver just went and totally ruined her carefully constructed plans.

Thinking fast she pulled her phone from her bra to text someone to come get her. She supposed she could get Rose but then she would have to hear a lecture the whole way home and she so wasn’t up for that right now. Maybe Jade? Jade didn’t have a car though. Perhaps one of her roommates but she had to activly live with those people and didn’t want to risk pissing them off. Eventually, she decided on Eridan, her fingers flying across her phone's screen. “eyyy eridamn! eridan*...actually nvm it shold be eridamn because damn that ass of yours is fiiiiine!!! ;3 ok but rlly tho I need somone to come pic me up. my diver driver* got tots wasted and the worlds kinda spinnin rite now...uh...like more than it usally is. its drunk spingnin not normal sponnin anf the duds at the door wont giv me bak my keys. buttom line is you gotta com get me ASAP an if you dont ill hav to tell everybooby what a nerd you were in mifdleschool” She felt bad about the blackmail but she had to make sure he would come get her. “oh you probs need the name of the place. it’s the acro-smthin. hold on thare is a sighn outside i’ll go read it brbr” She ran out of the building and onto the sidewalk, squinting to make out the lettering of the neon sign. “its the acrobatics club” She was very careful to make sure she actually spelled that right before sending it so that he would actually be able to come and get her.

By the time Eridan had gotten there Roxy had made her way down an alleyway and was feeding the stray cats bits of sushi she had gone back in and ordered from the bar in the club despite it being ridiculously overpriced. She had completely forgotten about Eridan until he texted her. She gave the cat a farewell rub behind the ears, making her way over to Eridan with a martini still in hand that she was sipping from “Heeeey~! Sorry bout having to call ya but I told those dudes at the door that i’m not as think as they drunk I am and they didn’t find it as funny as I did. Also they have this cool tightrope thing they make you walk by the door to see if you are drunk and I got over it on my fifth try but they still wouldn’t give me my keys.” She explained, her cheeks pink from the amound of alcohal she had consumed, her words clearly slurred as she teetered a bit on her feet “Oh also, you gotta take those grumpy pants of your off. There is no bein grumpy when mama Rox is drunky or something like that”

Movie Night, Movie Right?

Dirk grumbled to himself before shaking his head and smiling at Roxy, “Fair enough Rox, fair enough.” He muttered leaning back to watch the movie, his body relaxing slightly after they had passed by Roxy’s sex life, or rather her most recent crush. He didn’t blame Roxy for falling in love with so many people, most of the people who inhabited Skaia were essentially supermodels and easily smarter than most average humans, they’d make great mates regardless.

Scratching his chin slightly, “Well, I have been thinking about removing one of my arms, I feel like attaching a grav ball to my wrist that connects to a floating metal arm that I can manipulate at will would be much more functional than my fleshy prison now.” Dirk spoke seriously, though he was of course joking, as far into the future as they were, something like that was still many years away, the programming alone would be mind boggling.

Letting out a content sigh, nodding his head slightly, “Anyways, if you think he’s a good guy then I say you should try it, I mean, you’ve probably had worse before right?” He gave a slight shrug, his eyes looking over at her giving a small supportive smile hoping that his best friend would understand he meant well.

Roxy leaned back against the cushions of the couch, one leg crossing over the other as her eyes remained glued to the TV. Dirk seemed to have relaxed which she was thankful for. She didn’t want hanging out with her to be a stressful experience for him.

Roxy rolled her eyes at him “Dude, you wouldn’t even have to get an arm cut off for something like that, if something like that were even possible. I’ll be sure to let you know though when the top scientists give me a call askin’ me to help code that for them since i’m obviously the only one who could do it. They will be like “Rolal, we need you for your mad hacks, it’s a matter of national security” or some shit” She stuffed more popcorn into her mouth.

“It’s not that i’m scared to go for it or anything Dirk. I mean any other time that boy would probs be mine by now. The problem with this dude though is that his mom is sort of the dean and I kinda feel like maybe, just maaayyybe, the dean wouldn’t like me sleeping with her son.” Roxy clarified “And frankly the dean scares me just a little bit. I can’t put my finger on it but there is just something about her that makes my blood go cold” Roxy shivered and wrapped her arms around herself as if the mere thought of the Condesce cast a chill over her.

Movie Night, Movie Right?

Roxy laughed and ran her fingers through her platinum blonde hair “I know, sorry. You are only a year older though” She stuck her tongue out at him in return but then turned back to facing the screen so she could pay attention to the movie just as another joke was cracked. She grinned and finished off her wine, setting the glass on the coffee table.

“Yeah I wasn’t actually still in the building for that part but I heard instead of getting her ass beat the dean actually smashed a pie in the cute salutatorians face. I’m kinda bummed I missed that bit. The crowd came out of the gym with each of them looking like they stepped out of that movie Carrie but my dress was fine. Meenah had the foresight to bring a tarp big enough to cover her and her friends” Roxy explained.

She grinned over at him “Thank you for the compliment, Dirk. I look good out of the dress too. Wonk” She said with a wink over at him before laughing once again to let him know she wasn’t seriously trying to flirt with him and was instead just trying to be funny. She really hoped she wasn’t going to accidentally make him uncomfortable.

Dirk nodded his head slightly as Roxy apologized chuckling a bit as he looked over at her, he knew he was only a year older, didn’t mean he wouldn’t lord it over his friend’s head for the rest of her life. Finishing off his own glass of wine he leaned back listening to Roxy’s story about the graduation, didn’t seem quite as high action as last year, far less death racing but that wasn’t a bad thing by any degree.

As Roxy sort of flirted with him Dirk’s eyes gave a long almost exaggerated roll grinning over at his friend as he did so before the smile faded, “So, the salutatorian was cute huh? We talking ‘oh he’s adorable and I just want to cuddle him for the rest of my life,’ or, ‘Momma just found herself a new catch.” It was rare that Dirk joked like this, however he found Roxy’s dating life an easy topic to poke at, not that he had much to talk about his own life, after all not many people out there wanted to date a blond robot.

Almost moving away from Roxy when she winked at him, he thought about it for a moment, knowing that she was probably only doing it to get a rise out of him, he looked down at the table and picked up a small hand full of popcorn before tossing it at his friend’s face. “Don’t wink at me.” He grumbled, shaking his head a bit, a fair blush crossing his face.

Roxy sort of froze as he immediately brushed off her flirting and instead turned the tables on her, bringing up her dating life. Normally she didn’t take her own dating life seriously, or anything else for that matter, but when someone asked her about it and made her seriously think on it, she sort of started feeling like she had to take it seriously. A slight blush dusted her cheeks, something very rare that pretty much only Dirk got to see.

“Oh you know, he was uh…I don’t know he was sort of both I guess?” It was her turn to be the awkward friend for once “Like, I don’t know Dirk. The dude was a total nerd ok? Like the kid pretty much had ‘beat me up and steal my lunch money’ written all over him but there was also something kind of really charming about him but he was adorable. I’d still bang him though” She laughed, breaking out of her own awkwardness. She was surprised as popcorn was thrown in her face but laughed, catching the fair blush on her friend’s face “I’ll wink at you all I want. It’s part of the Roxy package. You gotta deal with it if you wanna keep me around! Not really though but you blushing is pretty cute” She teased, flicking a piece of popcorn back his way.

Dirk listened to his friend in silence. He wasn’t good with that. Emotions, dating, sex. That whole realm of shit was so far beyond him sometimes. Part of him wondered if he wasn’t Ace, but at the same time he knew he was still sexual attracted to people, it was an odd thing being such a tight bundle of nerves that he could not in fact bring himself to step foot into the dating world. Second hand stories from Roxy were really all he got to hear, and those were few and far between.

“Well then perhaps you should…try?” Dirk asked with a fairly puzzled look on his face, trying to figure out if that was the right way to go about this, “I don’t know if you noticed this or not Roxy but you happen to be a pretty big nerd yourself.” He nodded his head, he did however see the irony of him calling her out for something he was equally guilty of.

Shaking his head slightly as she mentioned his blush Dirk rolled his sky blue eyes, looking at the TV for a moment, “Remind me to remove all of my blood and change it to some bio-oil so you can’t tell when I’m blushing from now on.” Dirk grumbled at his friend, obviously not that offended but all the same.