leather

[intrusiveleatherworkthoughts]

Why bother making a *good* wallet? I can understand making a wallet. Sometimes I don’t really know why I’m driven to make a better wallet, and an even better one, then even better again. How many hours, and how many iterations of a wallet, can one make before it’s clear it’s for some deep spiritual need to be *admired* and not simply admiration for the craft?

Because, really, there’s a point it is just too obsessive. It’s different if they’re all bespoke commissions. That’s just making a living. There’s a human connection there. But if it’s 200 wallets, alone in a house, posting it online… that’s something else.

If it was just 200 wallets alone in a house with no internet, that’s just monk mode.

But atm im putting off getting an online shop going just to obsessively get the approval of some incel leather dorks on Reddit by making *another* wallet. This one will get ‘em! Then they’ll see!

The funny thing is that they won’t. And any pride I would have in my own progress and my own craftsmanship will drain out of me as the post is ignored or even criticized for the most minor creasing error or a perfect burnish but achieved inefficiently, or whatever.

I’ve applied to the last job I could even find on job boards. I’m going insane. I know I am, but somehow I’m powerless to slow it down any.

I’ve touched grass. I take a lot of time to read books. And then I’m haunted by having nothing to show for all the time I was unemployed and supported by another. At the very least I should do something constructive. But then, it might be constructive but it’s certainly not lucrative.

I made a soup today instead of a wallet. I didn’t feel any different. I criticized the soup as harshly as I would a wallet. The monotony of this lifestyle is numbing. The pointlessness is suffocating.

I think the issue is not in me posting it. If I didn’t, I’d assume if others saw it I’d be humiliated. I generally assume customers can sense that the craftsman is some kind of scary weirdo that they wouldn’t like just looking at my work, only because that generally seems to be my luck in life.

[intrusiveleatherworkthoughts]

I don't think anyone wants a belt that's 30 years old. I have never met someone who made a point of keeping their grandfather's belt when he died.

Some asshole is gonna be like "I do! I did!" but you are a freak and I am not talking to you.

Leather workers: stfu. just stop this please. it's nonsense.

[intrusiveleatherworkthoughts]

i have made a blog. On tumblr. The most secret corner of the internet left in this age.

I am unemployed and while I am grateful to have support and security during this period from my partner, I am very isolated and bored through the day and somewhat going insane.

I learned (and am learning) the craft from the internet but god, most of the incel tech dorks that get into craft just drive me insane. Leatherwork is hard on its own and now I am in a position where for the time being it is the only income I have until I can figure out why jobs I am qualified for wont hire me. It's like I'm stuck on a lifeboat with the worst people I knew in high school