I dunno

[shitmlady]

sitting on furniture that's meant to be sat on: alright

sitting on grass: good

sitting on the floor: Very Good

sitting on a table: !! Good!! so good

sitting on a countertop: G R E A T

[myfairgolightly]

what if a bobcat had a bob cut

[myfairgolightly]

[nikki2far]

that bob cat is out on the prowl for the manager

[faggottt]

Omg

[screenshotsofdespair]

[artaline]

human: *is heating up food*

alien: why are you doing that?

human: you see i want the particles in my food to vibrate at just the right frequency

[alivesmilinggirl]

Human: *is eating ice cream*

alien: wait you forgot to make that one vibrate!

human: well, you see, not with this food

[comradesaucegay]

get a man who can do both

[mikerowsoft-deactivated20190730]

[kimreesesdaughter]

On some real shit, I do not fuck with people who ride those boat things at the carnival. People who get on those do not give a fuck about life, they don’t care about you, ya mama or your kids. They literally have nothing to lose. You don’t care about life so there’s no need for me to fight you because you’re not going to give a damn about my face. 

[kimreesesdaughter]

THIS JOINT!!!!

BITCHHHHHHH. I got on this shit when I was 12. Wasn’t no bar, no protection, nothing in that shit. I didn’t realize until it was too late. You couldn’t pay me to ever get on this shit ever again in my life. We were in Landover, this shit almost smooth flipped my ass to Baltimore. No. Never again. 

[nappyhurrdontcare-deactivated20]

12? I got on this bitch when I was 21 and had my head in my ex’s shoulder the ENTIRE time. Screaming like a bih too. Nope. Never again. I was praying to the gravity gods the entire time.

[neonghostz-deactivated20220823]

?????? All it does is swing back and forth???? I don’t understand the concern??????

[kimreesesdaughter]

[vandigo-deactivated20180131]

centrifugal force keeps you in your seat.

[retired3625ww-deactivated202305]

Centrifugal force isn’t keeping me from crying tho

[sexycraisinthanos]

why is this so funny

[duplexity-blog]

[hannahhillam]

QUEEN OF BLANKETS

[localstarboy]

[thank-you-everyone-deactivated2]

he lived with a man for a good decade so

[theheartisalonelyhunter]

newton was a gay sugar daddy pass it on

[352364334737574fr-deactivated20]

my physics teacher in highschool and college physics prof both talked about how he had a forbidden love w his pal fatio lmao

[surprisebitch]

wow physics and calculus are gay pass it on

[naturescats-blog]

[teapotsahoy]

It’s a beautiful cat, but it’s the look of baffled outrage that makes it for me.

[goddess-of-tits-and-wine]

Need a cuddle that turns into sex that turns into a cuddle that turns into napping together

[pjo-deactivated20180501]

The best video ever posted on the internet is the scene from american psycho where they’re comparing business cards but someone edited it so they’re comparing like ridiculous forum signatures

[goodposter]

where i want to see this

[pjo-deactivated20180501]

[determinate-negation]

[ddraco]

when i was about 8 (bearing in mind deathly hallows was released when i was about 15) i wrote a harry potter fanfiction where harry and ginny where married and it was the morning of the september 1st and they were taking their 3 kids to the platform to meet ron, hermione, and their kids. i dont remember what the weasley kids were called, but i do remember that harrys kids were called lily, james, and for some reason mercury bob. i dont know why mercury bob, but i do know its still less stupid than albus severus.

[fullmetaljackit]

once i was babysitting my neighbor’s 6 year old and she asked me why i was so ugly and without thinking i said “i’m you from the future” and she cried for like 30 minutes