All the right angles, Petey Ulatan

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@iphonezero
All the right angles, Petey Ulatan
i can barely stomach heterosexual relationships in movies
let alone heterosexual relationships in movies starring nicolas cage
GJAHDGJADDJAD
what is my perfect crime? i break into tiffany’s at midnight. do i go for the vault? no, i go for the chandelier. it’s priceless. as i’m taking it down, a woman catches me. she tells me to stop. it’s her father’s business. she’s tiffany. i say no. we make love all night. in the morning, the cops come and i escape in one of their uniforms. i tell her to meet me in mexico, but i go to canada. i don’t trust her. besides, i like the cold. thirty years later, i get a postcard. i have a son and he’s the chief of police. this is where the story gets interesting. i tell tiffany to meet me in paris by the trocadero. she’s been waiting for me all these years. she’s never taken another lover. i don’t care. i don’t show up. i go to berlin. that’s where i stashed the chandelier.
iowa is the only state that consists entirely of vowels
w is not a vowel
every message in my inbox for the next 16 years (via corporateaccount)
pls sned help
Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (1986)
how do some of ur parents let ur bf/gf stay the night? like my mom get’s mad if i have too many cups in my room. wtf.
Jenna Maroney Is The Greatest Television Character Of All Time
Chihuahuas are so pointless
Stop sending Matt Damon to space