Having shun intelligence, intelligence having fun
"Imagination is intelligence having fun" - Albert Einstein.
Strange-strange people you meet in life. Sometimes toh I'm not believing only, how people can be so weird. Knowing no.. what I'm talking about? Of course you must be. At any rate, unless you were born and brought up in a bubble totally disconnected from reality, like in the Nehru-Gandhi home, in which case toh you are a lost cause already and it'd be a wonder if you even knew your ABCDs properly.
Go and hang around any paan-shop and you'll see that it's not only, and not always, their mouths that people use to speak. Since childhood only I've seen big-big examples. When Sri-Lanka won the Cricket World Cup in '96, remember no? (So much heart-break those days. One guy toh got so drunk that he beat his kid to a pulp as if he was an Aashish Nehra delivery, just because his name was Aravinda. Poor chap kept trying to tell his cricket-fanatic father that his surname was not Di Silva but why would he listen! On top of that, he only had named him Aravinda, as if he had been planning this from the day he took birth only).
Anyway, in those days, between spits of paan-juice, people said such things to cheer each other up no, that if you will hear your ears will run away from their original positions and hide between your buttocks, crying their diaphragms out. One fellow said "Next World Cup we will only win. BCCI has so much money no? You know Dalmia has purchased Jayasuriya and Di Silva, the rich bastard! So, in 1999 edition they will play from the Indian side". One other fellow got so happy that he ordered chai and cigarettes for everybody out of his own pocket. The bloody moron looked so relieved as if somebody had sprayed iced-water on his hemorrhoids.
In 2003, India had developed much more, and people were fast becoming more or less educated-type fellows. Even Rabri Devi had begun to understand that Assembly Elections did not mean 5-year anniversary celebration of her husband's state government. (Her first reaction when she got hold of the fact, reliable sources tell me, was: "Aain! What is the need of election then I am toh not getting only. I'm going to ask Laloo-ji to cancel this faaltu business!"). So now the same chai-shop fellows were applying their engineering-minds on their theories when India lost that final.
One guy went, "This Ponting brother-in-law from God-Knows-Where, he attached spring in his bat. That is why he was hitting so long-long sixes!" Other stepney-quota minions also joined in, "Ekdum right, bhaiyya-ji. Otherwise it is joke or what, to hit a pathan like Zaheer Khan for so many runs. Arre he does not bowl too fast, but the ball has so much power no? Even if his speed his 100 kmph, the ball can hit the bat off the batsman's hands and into the third-man boundary. Because of the POWER in the ball." True-stories I am telling you. I was toh feeling like pulling all my hair out and shoving it down their throats only.
Sometimes toh fellows will cross limits. One chap was lecturing his friends once, "This Gandhi bloke was a thief. His photo is there on the notes because he was so much money-minded, and he used to pick the Englishmen's pockets when he went to meet them. True story. And even at 75, he had sexual appetite of an Arab rapist about to undergo castration. These all Nehru and Jinnah and Patel guys used to participate in orgies". All of them were listening so intently as if they were in a Sex Education class that Maria Sharapova was taking. You all know no, how I am such a worshipper of truth. So I asked him how he was only knowing these things, and the moron replied, "I just know. You just know these things. It is logic only. Everything you're learning from books only means you don't know full thing. You think and apply logic, you will also know."
I don't know if it was my imagination or what, but I felt like bone-like things were breaking inside my brain. See, agreed, there is no tax on speaking but why to cause mental-vomiting in other people tell yaar? Arre, you tell me, is this any talk! This way toh tomorrow I can also say rubbish things like: Rahul Gandhi had to bribe his Professors so that he could pass in college; or that Saif Ali Khan got National Award for Best Actor for his work in Hum-Tum only because his mother was the Chairwoman of the Sensor Board; or that Kapil Sibal is a spy from a lesser-known country called Moronistaan. Oops.. Okay! Sorry, two out of these three things might actually be true. In fact, I'm pretty sure the third one is. But, you getting the general idea no?
Government is increasing tax on so many things no, to raise revenue? Brilliant Idea! Why not implement a Mouth-originated-bullshit Tax. For one word of bullshit people speak, they have to pay one rupee as tax. Poverty will toh vanish just like that (provided no corruption, of course). Just imagine no, how much people like Manish Tiwari, Praveen Togadia, Mamata Banerjee etc etc will pay. India's treasury will grow like Vidya Balan's hips only, I'm telling you.
But this government, what to tell, never listening only! Sigh!
Einstein once said 'Imagination is intelligence having fun'. Some people's imagination you see no, you will think it is more like 'stupidity having loose-motions'. Sadly, there is not even medicine for that. What to do! Time only is running bad!
Jasper, the Jester