THE BLOSSOMING BEELZEBUB - DIR EN GREY
A soft scent still lingers
Scorched words
Are stuck in my ears and just about everything…
So I made up my mind
The clouds I don’t see today either have slain the full moon
At the table, I’m always alone
Spoon and fork lined up,
Napkin hung from my neck
In a white plate, already completely cooled,
Soup
With my heart beating in silence, from the neighbouring house I hear
Faint noises
Abandoning myself to lethargy, I sprawl on the floor
The world I see sideways is unexpectedly new
And I extend towards the ground
For the first time I became one
Today I want to fall asleep like this
When will this stirring grain of rice grow wings?
Twisting my hands backwards, I feel around
Why is it that I can’t fly?
I’m searching for myself
Can’t anyone tell me anything?
Why? Why?
You who are increasing in scatters…
I find a silver knife I’ve been searching for beneath the sofa,
Once again sit on the chair, and bring meat to my mouth
Stuffing my mouth with rice that’s supposed to taste good,
I search for wings
_________
First–Beelzebub is most popularly crowned with the title “Lord of the Flies”, sometimes even depicted as a big hellish fly. Depending on which legend and belief, he is also considered one of the Seven Princes of Hell, the Devil, or even Lucifer; he is associated with gluttony, pride, false gods/beliefs. In any case, wherever he appears he seems to be the demon/god/whatever of inciting people to things that they don’t necessarily want to do.
This song is very simple, language-wise. You have someone confined to their house, always alone. Someone who seems very aware of their surroundings, but in a detached and methodical way (note that he doesn’t see the sky on that day either, but knows there is a full moon hidden by the clouds which would suggest he keeps note of weather/outside world even if he doesn’t participate). The way he talks about food is really detached, yet when he’s not in that “mood” anymore, when he’s on the ground, it seems his divided personality connects into one. For the first time, he gets a motivation, a wish for improvement.
Now, if you’ve ever felt detachment, depersonalization, manic depression, or any mental struggle that caused you to feel a disconnect between yourself and reality, or see yourself as not a complete person, then you might be able to relate to this song without explanation.
I kind of…don’t want to write my entire interpretation because this is what I see in it from my point of view, with my own problems. Someone else might see an entirely different thing. Since there are no metaphorical pitfalls here, as I call them, the lyrics themselves are very simple and can be taken by each person as they see fit…
Maybe I should just point to the association of: Beelzebub Lord of the Flies – grain of rice (which can just as well look like a maggot) – searching for wings. Wishing for wings seems like a desire for change, a wish for courage. In “You who are increasing in scatters” I think he’s talking about that part of himself that wants to change, and simultaneously saying that his wish is getting stronger yet that he’s failing at it (so dividing again).
You can look at the juxtaposition of rice/maggot growing wings like this: rice is the most common food in Japan and as such something everyday, essential, and normal. Maggots are nascent insects, so a beginning of something, a being. Therefore, he is searching for a state of himself that is away from regularity. He clearly doesn’t want to conform to what is considered normal yet simultaneously doesn’t have the courage and strength to live as his true self, so he’s floundering, and hiding, and wishing he could.
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