i am afraid to own a soul

24. she/her.

[cansu-m]

[theanythingmachine]

my first favorite hobby is yapping. second is being extremely quiet and not talking ever at all ever.

[z-a-d-i-e]

i am a big believer in letting music (and other media) come to you when you're ready for it. you may only know vaguely of an acclaimed beloved artist and suspect that you'd be into them but just... not ever get around to it. and then in 15 years one of their songs just hits you the right way and what a gift to suddenly have all of their works to explore! there is no hurry; what is good is always good.

[nikswonderland]

𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘭𝘦 𝘩𝘪𝘥𝘥𝘦𝘯 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘵…

[jewelleria]

life may be sad, but it’s always beautiful.

the son of neptune, rick riordan / encyclopedia of an ordinary life, amy krouse rosenthal / dead poets society (1989) dir. peter weir / romain gary / @arthoesunshine on tumblr / tales from earthsea (2006) dir. goro miyazaki

[dailyflicks]

DEAD POETS SOCIETY dir. Peter Weir

[lifeofbrybooks]

It’s kinda beautiful how humans are drawn to tragedies. That for thousands of years people have gathered to hear the stories of humanity battling fate, the stars, the gods, itself. Fighting and failing with the idea that, despite the tragedy of it all, there is always something worth fighting for. That there is something to be learned in the debris. That sometimes humanity falls and other times it rises. Though never without a fight. And maybe the tragedy is simply that one must fight to live, and fighting rarely ends without scars. So we tell the stories of our scars to make others feel less alone in their own. That humanity can share in the collective experience of suffering. To let each other know that our stories have worth no matter the outcome. They deserve to be told. There’s tragedy in everything. That doesn’t mean you stop fighting. Stop living. Stop loving. And that hope has transcended time. Which is a tragedy in itself.

[ignoregnome]

it has been 72 hours since i watched dead poets society for the first time and still the only thing in my head is neil perry neil perry neil perry neil perry neil pe

[irinamitr]

it's been more than a year for me but the outcome is still the same

[maybejustacrow]

“and just knowing that everything will end should not change our plans” IT ENDED AND I DON’T REGRET IT. IT’S TEMPORARY AND IT’S WORTH DOING. HEARTBREAK IS INEVITABLE AND THE ONLY WAY IS TO RUN HEADLONG INTO IT. WE BEGIN AGAIN

[music-blogger]

I think it’s intoxicating when somebody is so unapologetically who they are.

[irinamitr]

i dont have any advice for you im just here to say im in a very similar boat [it always makes me feel better to know im not 100% alone after all]

but i also struggle with figuring out if im aromantic or if i just have high standards, and then i dont even know if those standards are actually high or if its simply that people rarely pursue me [and even then is it because they arent interested or is it because i dont put myself out there?] like the idea of dating someone feels incorrect, but is it because i think i wouldnt get anything out of it or is it because i cant see someone ever seeing me that way? do i set myself up for failure and only get interested in people who i Cannot Have because im just generally self sabotaging or because i dont want to be with anybody? i dont think theres any real way to know other than to date people, but thats a task that seems impossible to me.

anyways, have a good day! i hope you enjoy what you read and find lots of time to do it.

oh how the world works, out of all the people you meet in life to find the first one to voice something so perfectly similar to my experience on tumblr! but that actually means so much, i was writing those words into the void without expecting anyone to see and seeing your message was extremely hopeful, thank you so much for putting it all into words!!

i feel like i could be okay with being aromantic and except it for what it is but how hard it is to to understand those feelings and know for sure. no one ever seems to feel this way, everyone around have their crushes on people at all times but i just never understood it, you know? only those unattainable figures, but even so i feel like with time i would lose interest and no single person would ever be able to hold my attention for long. or maybe i just never knew anyone on that personal level where you love someone unconditionally. i feel like love exists only as a concept but never in reality, it all feels so hollow.

and oh, i actually wanted to have a little experiment and maybe just try going on a date? just to see what all the fuss is about. but every chance i got close to doing it, i immediately retreated and i never seem to find the courage to do it. i don't want to lead other people on when i know that it would only be an opportunity to check that experience out of "want to try" list.

you say that the idea of dating feels incorrect to you and i also can't even imagine a situation where i would be comfortable with someone in relationship. it takes a lot of work and trust and maybe i am too selfish for that.

maybe there's no way of knowing but to live and see where it takes you. i hope you find your answers with time! and that whatever it is it would bring you comfort. maybe you would meet someone and would be able to heal. and if you are actually aromantic, it is probably just as good. society was built around this romantic love concept but it's not all there is, the world is huge and a lot of things can bring you happiness! thank you again!!

[irinamitr]

and like how do i even know if im aromantic or i just set impossible standards for people that no one would ever meet and see myself as entirely undeserving of love and affection

[altruisticwriter]

“If all else perished, and he remained, I should still continue to be; and if all else remained, and he were annihilated, the universe would turn to a mighty stranger.”

-Emily Brontë , Wuthering Heights

[ps1]

嵐山工作站

[365filmsbyauroranocte]

The Last Days of Disco (Whit Stillman, 1998)

[sunlightandsin]

I've grown kinda resentful of the trope " love can't fix everything" not because it's untrue; to its core, it's not. It just feels...Redundant? Because we KNOW that; We know people need realism and acceptance of bad things in order to deal with said bad things, but love has never been about hiding from consequence or effort. Love, in it's truest, rawest form, is MOTIVATION. It's love that keeps us standing and love that pushes forward. Love that breaks and rebuilds. Love that keeps us surviving.

Love has never been about fixing; Love is healing.

[irinamitr]

"Love doesn't conquer everything. And whoever thinks it does is a fool."

[calanthesfeuillemort]

Halloween Alphabet: F, the full moon above