We'd be unstoppable | Alessia Russo | Part 2
Part 2 of Just because a woman has a close friendship with a lesbian doesn't mean she's queer
They cuddled up together on the couch until Alessai began to yawn.
"Sleepy?" Y/n asked, teasingly.
Alessia blushed. "A little."
"Should we get ready for bed?" she asked.
Alessia let Y/n use the bathroom first and then got ready herself. Y/n lay in Alessia's bed waiting for her to return. She'd slept in her bed before. There were countless nights before Y/n moved where one had stayed at the other's due to staying up so late they'd be too tired to drive home. But this was different. They had just crossed a line into unfamiliar territory, and sharing a bed would no longer be a casual thing again.
A few moments later, Alessia stepped inside the bedroom, hair down, wearing a light grey jumper and black joggers. She walked to the bed, shoulders slightly hunched, and sat down on the edge, facing away from Y/n, staring out the window.
"I can't believe I came out to you...I can't believe I've said it out loud to someone besides my mirror," she said, huffing out a shy laugh. She turned to face Y/n. "I need you to know that I didn't begin questioning my sexuality until some point in our friendship. Then I wondered if you were an exception. I was terrified. I'd been so sure all these years that I was straight, but once I realised I liked you, I began to think more about my past. There were a few girls that I was..." she tilted her head, trying to find the right word, "fascinated with? I had crushes, I just didn't know that's what they were, because at that age, I didn't know I was allowed to feel that way about other girls. I'm quite scared of what admitting my feelings means. There's so much I'm going to have to navigate. I'm going to need us to go slow. And I need this to be between us for now, until I gather the courage to tell people, even if they already apparently know." She exhaled deeply then. "God, I haven't even told Ella! It's like the words just wouldn't come out. Until now. I only told you tonight because I needed you to know why I was acting so odd this past week. It was jealousy mixed with complete and utter terror."
Y/n gestured for Alessia to lie down, which she did, then put an arm around her waist. Alessia’s eyes met hers.
“Less, I am never going to force you to come out to anyone before you’re ready, especially if you’re still processing things yourself. I will remind you though that you work both at England and at Arsenal with plenty of queer women and allies, so there is nothing to be afraid of when it comes to sharing this part of you with them. And, as for us, we can take this as slowly as you need us to. Speaking of, is this okay?” she asked, gesturing to the arm slung over Alessia’s waist.
She nodded. “Yeah, that’s more than okay. It’s comforting. Can I move a little bit closer?”
Her voice sounded nervous, like she was worried about crossing the line, so Y/n tried to be as considerate as possible.
“Of course you can,” she whispered. “Lie wherever feels right for you.”
Alessia shifted over until their bodies were fully touching and rested her head on Y/n’s shoulder.
“I think this is what I need right now. Just this. Nothing more, nothing less.”
Y/n kissed her forehead lightly,which caused her to blush.
“Well then, I guess we stay like this tonight.”
“Can you turn off the light?”
Y/n nodded, stretching behind her to switch off the bedside lamp. Once they were in darkness, Alessia spoke softly and sleepily.
“Can I have one more kiss before I try to sleep?”
She didn’t see it in the dark, but Y/n broke into a wide grin.
“Yes,” she whispered, leaning in and kissing Alessia’s lips softly.
When they pulled apart, Alessia buried her head in the crook of Y/n’s neck.
“Goodnight, Y/n. Thank you for being you.”
They drifted off soon after, both exhausted from the match and the anticipation beforehand, along with everything that had been going on between them.
Y/n was awoken by the sounds of the birds outside. She could feel the sun in her face without yet opening her eyes. She was lying on her back, Alessia's body pressed up against hers, head resting on her chest. After stretching, she opened her eyes to see Alessia still fast asleep, and decided to check the time.
Due to their flight to Reykjavík being the following day, the coaching team had arranged for a recovery day in London, close to Wembley, instead of travelling all the way back to St. George's Park. They were due at 8:30, and breakfast was being provided, so Y/n figured that she should let Alessia sleep until 7:15.
As she lay there watching her sleep, Y/n tried to process the events of the past week, especially the previous night: their embrace in the lobby of the Hilton, Alessia's body pressed against hers during the movie, the conversation that turned sour when Alessia asked if she was seeing someone, the awkward exchange between them the following morning in front of Leah, the silent treatment, her teammates telling her their suspicions in the gym, Alessia's impressive assist that led to Y/n's goal, her confessions spilling out in the living room, their kiss...
Her kiss with her best friend Alessia Russo, whom she had presumed all these years was straight.
As much as she knew Alessia was the one with the most to process, she knew she had her own processing to do, too. It was only 5 days ago that her teammates had insisted that Alessia had feelings for her. It was only 3 days while watching Alessia on the bus that she had texted Camille and ended their casual fling. It was all moving very fast, and she was glad that Alessia wanted to take things slowly.
It was going to take time for her to wrap her head around the fact that what she thought was unrequited love for a straight woman was, in fact, a mutual love between her and a bisexual woman who was still processing her identity. Still, she felt grateful, and pulled Alessia in closer, savouring every moment until it was time to wake her.
At 7:15, she gave in to her worries about arriving on time and shook Alessia, waking her.
Alessia's eyes opened slowly. There was a look of confusion, followed by a realisation, a remembering of the past night's events.
"Morning," Y/n grinned at her.
"Morning," she responded, trying to hide the blush that was creeping up her face.
"It's quarter past seven, Less. We need to get up."
Alessia groaned. "We showered after the match, and we're eating breakfast there. We can wait until half past."
Y/n laughed. Alessia was definitely not a morning person, especially the day after a match against their country's biggest rivals.
"Okay, but after that we have to get up, otherwise we're gonna be late."
She was silent for a moment, then spoke.
"Can you hold me until we have to get up?"
Y/n couldn't resist. She pulled Alessia in tight to her body, wrapping her arms around her.
They didn't get up until 7:35, needing to leave at 8. They flung training kits on, styled their hair, brushed their teeth, and headed out the door.
Alessia drove them to training. In the car, Y/n watched her and noticed that she seemed a bit on edge.
"What's up? You seem stressed."
"Do you think anybody's going to read into the fact that you're arriving with me? And that you never stayed at the hotel for the non-London based players?"
"Of course not. Less, everyone knows you and me are close friends. They probably think we hung out to talk things through, and I stayed over like I've done plenty of times in the past."
"But you said a bunch of them suspect that I'm not straight and that I have feelings for you," she continued. "Surely they'll put things together."
Y/n shook her head. "Last those teammates heard, I was seeing someone else. I don't think they're gonna jump to any conclusions. Besides, even if any of them did, they're not the type to bring it up to us. They won't want you feeling any pressure to come out to them."
"It's just that this is all so new to me. I only came out for the first time less than 12 hours ago, yet some of them might think I had gay sex for the first time last night, which, for the record, is something that excites and frightens me at the same time. I'm used to straight sex where I just lie there and do nothing, except fake an orgasm if he can't get me there and I'm bored. I've been watching videos and reading articles about how sapphic sex works, but I still don't actually know what to do!"
Y/n bit her lip to hide her laughter. She understood that Alessia had a lot going on, but she couldn't help but find her sex worries slightly funny. When she composed herself, she rested a hand on Alessia's thigh, and reassured her.
"Less, first of all, we all just played Spain yesterday. I don't think anyone is gonna have the energy to think about whether or not you had sex last night. As for your fears, they're normal, and it really is a case of the more you do it, the easier it becomes. There's no pressure for us to rush any of this, so don't feel like I'm expecting anything from you. And we can talk beforehand about what might make things easier for you. I know that all of this is scary, but, Less, we're in the middle of World Cup qualifier camp. We have a flight tomorrow and a match 2 days later. Today needs to be about recovery, not being in your head."
She gave her thigh a squeeze.
Alessia pulled into the grounds, parking in a spot slightly away from the other cars. Once she turned the engine on, she looked around outside, before turning to Y/n.
"Thank you. I really needed to hear that. Also, we're alone so can you please kiss me again because you haven't kissed me since last night and I'm feeling needy with all of these emotions going around in the head."
Y/n giggled. "Of course I can."
She leaned in and kissed her softly, only pulling away when she could tell that Alessia was satisfied.
Alessia blushed. "I can't believe you've kissed me 3 times in 12 hours. I can't believe this is real. Your kisses make me feel all...tingly."
Y/n laughed, hand rubbing against Alessia's.
Alessia went bright red. "Um, okay, sure. Well, we better get inside."
Y/n continued to laugh. "You're really going to need to get better with taking compliments, because I'm planning to shower you in them."
"Well, I don't have to get good at taking them right now. As you said, our focus today is recovery."
They joined their teammates for breakfast, and it seemed that Alessia's worries quickly faded as everyone acted as normal, more focused on commenting on Alessia's impressive assist than her personal life.
After eating, they split up to do their separate recovery plans. They passed each other throughout the day, stopping to talk and smile at each other. At one point, while chatting to her, she could see Leah smirking at them from the other end of the room. She may not have known exactly what was going on between them, but she definitely knew where it was headed.
Not long before they left, Y/n had an ice bath. Just a few seconds after getting in, Lucy appeared, stepping into the tub beside her.
"So," Lucy spoke, turning to face her, "how are things between you and Lessi? You seem to be talking again. And that was quite an assist from her last night," she grinned.
Y/n smiled. "After she celebrated that goal with me, I knew we needed to talk. I spoke to her at halftime, and we agreed to hang out at hers and talk through everything. I can't say too much, because I don't want to speak on the reason you all assume she wasn't talking to me last week, but what I will say is we resolved things, and all is good between us."
Lucy nodded slowly, taking in what Y/n had said.
"I'm glad you two have resolved things. Platonic or romantic, the bond you two have has always been special. And it certainly shows on the pitch, which is exactly what we needed last night."
Now it was Y/n's turn to grin. "Yeah, I was really impressed with her last night. I still don't know how she managed it. She shrugged off the compliments I gave her at halftime, but I hope she knows how incredible it was."
"Sorry," Lucy apologised, "that might have been a bit of an invasive question. It's just that I realised we only ever spoke on Friday about everyone's suspicions that she liked you. I know you said you were seeing someone, but I was wondering if you'd ever felt anything for her."
"I mean, I have eyes Lucy."
Lucy laughed. "Oh, wow. So, that's a yes then?"
She nodded. "Absolutely. I've always thought she was stunning, but I started developing feelings last season."
"What?" Y/n asked, shocked at her reaction.
"I'm just realising you must have had the hots for her while we were playing against her. You must have been oggling her on the pitch."
Y/n laughed out loud. "First of all, at least Chelsea knew how to beat Arsenal back then. Hasn't happened this season without me, has it?"
"Ouch," Lucy said, pretending to hold her crushed heart.
"Second of all, that's rich coming from you the day after a match against Spain."
"You're really coming out with all the insults today, aren't you? I swear, Lyon made you meaner," she pouted.
"Or, maybe, it's because I've only got a small window of time every time I see you so I gotta get all my insults in quickly."
"Can't believe I've missed you all season," she muttered.
Y/n and Lucy looked to see Alessia by the tub to Y/n's right. She got in and faced them.
"Bronzey was just telling me how badly she misses me," Y/n teased.
"I was actually just defending myself because Y/n has been insulting our performance this season."
"Y/n, that's so mean," Alessia said, trying not to laugh.
"I was actually mainly teasing her about the fact that they've not beaten Arsenal yet."
Alessia's eyes lit up. "Oh, well, I can't say she's wrong about that."
"Well, we would have won the first match if it wasn't for the fact that the referee hated us."
"And the fact that someone equalised in the 87th minute," Y/n teased, looking at Alessia, who blushed.
"Yeah, Lessi, I'm still mad at you about that," Lucy stated.
"Okay," Lucy said, standing up, "I think I've had enough of this ice bath and Y/n's insults for the day."
Alessia laughed even more. Y/n laughed as well, but got lost watching Alessia laugh.
God, she's so beautiful when she laughs, she thought.
Y/n looked up to see a dripping wet Lucy hovering over her.
"Do I not get a goodbye?"
Y/n smiled. "Goodbye, Lucy. I will see you tomorrow. Maybe we'll be seated next to each other on the flight, and I can continue my insults," she smirked.
Lucy looked at Alessia. "You're so lucky you get the princess treatment from her. I can't even escape the bullying in the sky."
At this point, Alessia couldn't stop laughing. She managed to whisper a goodbye to Lucy through the laughs before she left. When the door closed, Y/n grinned at her.
"You know, I've always thought your laugh was adorable," she admitted.
Alessia's laughing began to slow enough that she could respond.
She nodded. "100% serious."
Alessia blushed. "You knew the exact minute I equalised in a game in November," she stated.
Y/n nodded again. "Yeah, I did. I pay attention."
They stared at each other, the room thick with a tension they weren't ready to explore. Finally, Y/n looked away.
"Well, this ice has really started melting. I've been in here for a while so I think it's time to get out."
She pulled herself up to standing and stepped out of the tub, grabbing a towel to dry off her body. As she looked down, she saw Alessa watching as the towel brushed along her abs, biting her lip.
"See something you like?"
Alessia's head shot up. "Huh? Oh, um, I was...I was just..."
Y/n laughed, leaning own to place a kiss on her forehead.
"You were just enjoying the view, weren't you?"
Alessia grabbed a piece of ice and threw it at her.
Y/n laughed as she opened the door.
"Wait!" Alessia called out.
Y/n turned around. "What?"
"Can I take you back to mine again? I really want to make the most of the rest of the week," she confessed.
Y/n smiled, nodding. "Of course. I'll wait outside for you."
After changing into dry clothes, Y/n walked out to the car park and leaned against Alessia's car.
She looked up at the blue sky above her, then looked back in the direction of the entrance. That's when she saw Taylor Hinds notice her. Taylor looked at the car, clearly recognising it, then back at Y/n.
"Getting a lift?' she smiled.
Y/n nodded. "Yeah, we're hanging out for a bit this evening."
Taylor smirked. "That link-up last night got you two talking again, huh?"
"She celebrated a bit with me on the pitch, so I didn't let her avoid me at halftime. I had to thank her for that assist."
"I remember watching your dynamic during the Euros. I was watching the final with a few friends, and I saw that assist to help her equalise. You two have something special on the pitch...and off."
Y/n could feel herself blush, getting flustered by the comment.
"Yeah, well, she did just what I was hoping she would. I feel like I have to pay her back for that assist last night."
Taylor smirked, looking like she had an interesting thought about how Y/n might pay her back, but thought better about saying it out loud.
"Well, hopefully you pay her back in Iceland. Also, whenever you're fed up with France and want to come back to the WSL, I strongly suggest you consider Arsenal. You two would be quite a force to be reckoned with."
Y/n laughed. "I think the Chelsea players in this squad might have something to say about me returning to London for the Gunners."
Taylor shook her head. "Don't worry about that. C'mon, we've won the Champions League. Imagine what it would be like to win it with us by assisting Less with a last-minute goal, imagine the cheers from the stands as she runs into your arms..."
Y/n couldn't help but get invested in the images Taylor was painting for her. She did miss playing with her at club level.
Y/n and Taylor both turned to face Alessia who had just reached her car.
"Hi," they said in unison.
Alessia narrowed her eyes, looking between the two of them.
"You two seem very suspicious."
"I'm trying to get Y/n to become a Gunner," Taylor explained.
Alessia rolled her eyes. "She's never going to agree to that. She's a former Chelsea player."
"I reckon you could convince her," Taylor smirked.
For a moment, Alessia looked a bit taken aback, but she quickly pulled herself together.
"I don't think I'm that much of a powerful influence."
"Oh, I think to Y/n you are. I was saying that we could use your dynamic together. You always create such good link-ups with each other."
Alessia sighed. "I'll try, but she's still got another season at Lyon to go."
"It's always good to plan ahead," Taylor shruggd. "Anyway, I'll let you two get home. I'm starving."
They said their goodbyes and got into the car.
Alessia gripped the steering wheel.
"So, she thinks I could convince you to move to Arsenal?" she asked, eyes wide.
She hardened her grip on the wheel, knuckles turning white.
"Was she one of the players who spoke to you in the gym on Friday?"
Alessia cut her off. "Who all was there? How many of them already know?"
Y/n swallowed. "Um, Lucy was first. Taylor heard us talking. I was complaining about you ignoring me, and she said you two had talked and that you'd said that something I said had upset you. Then Leah, Keria, and Georgia walked in, and Leah knew what we were talking about. And then Jess overhead and joined."
"Jesus Christ," Alessia swore. So SIX of our teammates openly admitted to you that they think they can clock my queerness?"
"I think they were trying to help me to understand why you were avoiding me," Y/n said, trying to give her a satisfying explanation.
"Oh, by talking about how they think I need to come out of the closet? That sounds really kind."
"Less, it wasn't like that. I swear."
"Were you and Lucy talking about me during your ice baths?"
"Oh, my God!" she shouted.
"It wasn't bad, Less. Lucy was really respectful. She said she didn't want to ask about anything private and just asked me if we were okay. Then she complimented our link-up last night."
"And did she say anything else?"
Y.n sighed. "She asked me if I'd ever been attracted to you. Basically, Leah said on Friday that we act like a couple and that's what kick-started the talk about your feelings, but no one had ever asked me mine. So, I think she was just wondering if I'd ever acknowledged my own feelings."
"So, I don't speak to you and Leah stages a group intervention about my possible closeted bisexuality, and then I do speak to you, and two of the same group ask you about me?"
"Less, maybe they just don't realise that this is difficult to you. A lot of the out players on the team have been out for years, and even with Jess being a slightly late bloomer, she still came out relatively easily. I don't think they understand how much you're struggling to come to terms with it and just want you to admit it."
"Well, I'm not admitting it, because it's NONE OF THEIR FUCKING BUSINESS!"
"Less, why don't we go home? There's no use talking about it here when they are all leaving and will see us sitting here."
The drive back to Alessia's apartment was tense. Y/n was unsure of how to make the situation better. She'd come out as a teenager and hadn't struggled with accepting her own sexual orientation in a very long time. Seeing Alessia so stressed was sad, and she wanted to help, but she knew that it was going to take time. The strong emotions were no doubt a result of her finally saying the words for the first time the night before."
When they entered the apartment, Alessia immediately mumbled something about needing to change clothes and walked to her bedroom. Y/n waited for her to return, but when she was still gone 15 minutes later, she decided to check on her. As she opened the door to Alessia's bedroom she saw her.
Alessia was curled up on the bed, on top of the duvet, knees pulled right up to her chest, sobbing.
Y/n walked over to the bed and lay down beside her, putting a protective arm around her waist.
"I'm so sorry," she choked out. "You really don't need to be dealing with all of this right now. I just really freaked out when I realised how I felt for you. It went against the future I'd been told to want, the future that I thought I wanted. It really surprised me, which is so stupid to say now that I can see the evidence in my past. It shook me because it made me feel like all I'd known about life after retirement was a lie. I was supposed to want a husband, never a wife; I was supposed to have that man's kids, I was supposed to remain devoted to him. I've tried all my life to be good enough. To be the perfect image of what a girl and then what a woman should be. I've starved myself to look thinner, I've pushed myself when my body needed rest to get closer to winning trophies because women aren't supposed to complain, and I've lost myself in relationships with men who didn't give a shit about me just to be a trophy for them. And as shit as those things were, they made people approve of me. But if I'm living a lie, it all feels meaningless. And if I ever came out publicly, my privacy would be even more invaded than it is now, and I'd no longer be the poster girl for "women can be strong and sporty and still straight."
Y/n pulled her closer, placing a kiss on her forehead.
"Less, I understand that having this realisation this far into your twenties must be very difficult. It makes sense that it would feel like everything's unstable, but I promise you that there's a bright future ahead if you can accept yourself. And that doesn't necessarily mean you need to have some big public coming out. I mean, a lot of players have never explicitly come out; they've just been in love and not hidden it. You don't owe the world anything, but you owe yourself acceptance and love. You owe yourself the belief that this new version of your future can be even brighter than the one they told you was right for you. You owe yourself the courage to be who you are, not without fear, but in spite of it."
Alessia turned around and wrapped her arms around Y/n's neck.
"Thank you," she sniffed. "I really needed that."
Y/n pulled her tighter, entwining their legs and placing soft kisses on her cheek.
"We'll figure this out together. I'm going to support you. You won't be going through any of this alone."
"Can I ask a really stupid question?" Alessia asked, head still buried in Y/n's shoulder.
"I don't think any question of yours is stupid, Less, but, yes, you can."
Alessia moved her head up to face Y/n.
"Do you think Taylor and Leah are certain they know how I feel about you?"
Y/n furrowed her eyebrows. "Why do you ask?"
"Well, I need to make a plan of how and when to come out. Tooney will be first, obviously. And I was thinking maybe I might tell some of the girls at Arsenal before the end of the season, so if Taylor and Leah seem convinced that I am then maybe they'll be good to start with."
"Okay, well, then yes. I think they believe they know the truth already. But, Less, don't plan it so thoroughly that you're forcing yourself to come out to certain people on certain days. Opportunities to come out might present themselves naturally when you feel ready. For now, just let yourself take your time."
"We should, um, we should really make dinner," Alessia said, wiping her face with her hands.
Y/n laughed. "Yeah, we should."
They got up and moved to the kitchen where they prepared and ate dinner together. When they were finished, Y/n suggested that they go for a walk since the evenings were brighter and they would be sitting a lot the following day with travel.
They drove to a nearby park and made their way along one of the paths.
"Did you receieve many compliments on your assist today?" Y/n asked as they made the way along.
Alessia blushed. "A few. I think it's been overhypeed though. I had the ball, you were right there ready to score, so I gave it to you."
Y/n shook her head. "You're far too humble sometimes, Less."
"I'm not! I just don't want praise for doing something basic."
"That wasn't basic. It was extremely impressive. You don't get a say in this, you even downplay that back heel against Sweden to this day."
"It was a fluke. I missed the first attempt, and I tried something weird, and it somehow worked. That's all."
"You really don't give yourself enough credit."
"I don't want to be cocky," Alessia explained.
"Giving yourself enough credit isn't cockiness, it's confidence, it's self-worth. You deserve to know you're good."
"I really want us to do it next year."
Y/n raised an eyebrow. 'Do what?"
"Oh. So do I. We were so close last time."
"Don't. I can't think about it. It breaks my heart every time."
"Well, we've done well at beating Spain lately. Thanks to you," Y/n smiled.
Alessia nudged her. "More like thanks to you."
"Thanks to us," Y/n stated.
Alessia blushed. "Does this feel weird to you?"
Alessia nodded. "Yeah. I mean, it's weird to just confess everything and go from friends to, well, whatever we are currently," she laughed awkwardly.
"We're still friends, Less. We'll always be friends. Don't worry about the label. It's a big transition. It does seem odd. I thought about it this morning when I woke up. I've woken up next to you many times, but waking up to you in my arms was...different. Good, but different."
"I know when we get to Iceland it's going to be busy, but can we try to find as much alone time as we can to figure this out? Or to just get more comfortable with it?" Alessia asked.
Y/n nodded. "Of course. How about we schedule a date night tomorrow night? We'll give the others some of our time, then we can go back to one of our rooms and just be with one another."
Alessia smiled. "That sounds perfect."
They made their way home where they cuddled on the couch until it was time to go to bed.
As Y/n pulled the covers up over them, Alessia rested her head in her neck once more.
I could get used to this, Y/n thought.
They were awoken by the alarm blaring at 6:30 am. There was a car arriving at 7:30 am to take them to the airport, so they made breakfast and got ready for the day.
They got through airport security and walked on to join the others. Suddenly, they felt arms wrap around both of their shoulders.
"Ready to give us another win this week?" Leah grinned, looking between them both.
"Leah, it's 8am," Alessia pouted.
"Were you kept up last night or something?"
Y/n slapped Leah in the back.
"No, I slept well. It's just early."
"Well, there's always time to sleep on the plane. I'm sure Y/n will be more than willing to let you rest your head on her shoulder."
With that, she let go of their shoulders and walked on ahead.
Y/n could see that Alessia was beginning to tense up again.
Alessia looked at her, panic in her eyes.
"It's okay," she tried to reassure her.
"I think we should separately on the plane," Alessia stated simply.
"I can't risk this getting any more out of hand than it already is."
"Less, we always sit together. It's always been me, you, and Tooney. You do remember that this all started because you distanced yourself from me, right?"
"Oh, so it's my fault that I'm getting pushed out of the closet, is it?" Alessia snapped back.
Y/n sighed. "Let's just go wait with the others."
When it was time to board, Alessia was still giving her the silent treatment. She walked to the plane with Lucy and LJ, talking to them about Chelsea.
"So, where's Lessi?" Lucy asked.
"Oh, yeah, you two are always clinging to each other. What's with you two spending less time together?" Lauren asked.
Y/n shrugged. "She's just- She's going through some things right now. I think she needs space."
She caught the worried look in Lucy's eye, but there was no time to talk. She sat down with her former teammates, watching Alessia awkwardly shuffle beside Beth, who seemed both surprised and concerned at her choice of seating. Clearly, their distance in the lead-up to the Spain game had been very obvious, and their teammates didn't like to see any sign of drama when they were in the middle of an important camp.
She sat in silence as the plane took off, finally picking up a book to read some time later.
Throughout the flight, she caught sight of Jess glancing over to her repeatedly from across the aisle. At one point, when their eyes met, Jess reached a hand out, a folded sheet of paper in her hand.
Y/n took the piece of paper, a bit confused at why her teammate was passing notes to her on the plane, but it quickly became clear when she opened it.
I noticed you two are apart once again. I assume she's freaking out about everything. It's tough to adjust, I know. I would be willing to talk to her later if you think it would help.
Lucy, who unbeknownst to her, was reading the letter over her shoulder, leaned in close.
"I would take her up on that offer. Dating someone who's still in the closet and isn't accepting herself isn't good, even if she's your friend."
Y/n sighed. She turned to Jess and nodded.
The rest of the day was spent talking tactics and going over the agenda for the rest of camp until the match.
Y/n settled in her room early evening. She had made plans to have a date night with Alessia, but was instead still receiving the silent treatment. She hoped that Jess would talk to her.
At around 9:30, there was a knock on the door. She walked over and opened it to the sight of a puffy-eyed Alessia.
"Can I come in?" she asked, her voice already threatening to crack.
Y/n pulled the door open fully, gesturing for her to come in. Alessia walked in and went to sit on the edge of the bed.
"Carter spoke to me," she whispered. "She talked to me about the feelings I'm having, and shared some of her story about realising she liked Ann...Y/n, I think I need more time. I don't think I can show up for you as a partner right now... I still feel so ashamed. I'm so scared," she sobbed.
Y/n sat down beside her, slinging an arm around her shoulder.
"How about we take the pressure off for now?" she asked.
Alessia looked at the floor. "What do you mean?"
"I mean, let's just be us. We can be friends and know that we are working towards something. You definitely need some time to process, but you're not going to miss out on me by taking time to work on yourself. I'm always here."
Alessia tilted her head to look at her.
"What if you meet someone? What if you start a relationship with someone else?"
Y/n grabbed a hold of Alessia's hands.
"Alessia Russo, I would spend years waiting if I knew I could have you at the end of it. You don't have to worry about losing this."
Alessia rested her head on Y/n's shoulder.
"I want to be proud of who I am. I want to be yours, and I want the people in both of our lives to know about it. I promise that's what I will give to you. I'm going to do whatever it takes."
Y/n grabbed her hand, raising it up to her face and places a kiss on Alessia's knuckles.
"How about we watch something to take your mind off everything for a while?" she asked.
Alessia nodded. "That sounds like a good idea."
Alessia left her room at 10:30. Y/n found it hard to accept that they weren't going to share a bed for the rest of camp, but if this was what was needed while Alessia figured herself out, then she was willing to accept it.
The rest of the training went by easily, and soon enough, they were playing Iceland. The team was attacking consistently at the beginning of the match, but failed to score from the numerous corners they were awarded. When Iceland failed in an attempt to attack, Y/n got the ball and began to sprint towards the box. She saw Alessia ahead on her right and passed to her. Alessia took a shot from the side of the box and slotted the ball straight into the left side of the net.
Y/n breathed a sigh of relief. It was 21 minutes of consistent attack, and they had finally scored. And, of course, she and Alessia were the ones to create it. She ran over and hugged Alessia tight. Alessia's arms wrapped around her.
"Thanks for the assist," Aslessia said, breathlessly.
Y/n grinned. "I owed you one."
The second half was a lot more chaotic, with Hannah having to pull off a few too many impressive saves to keep the team in the lead, but they finally walked away with another 1-0 win. Back at the hotel, the team sat down to a late dinner together.
Alessia sat directly opposite her, and the compliments about their most recent link-up started flowing.
"You two are something else when you play together," Lotte observed. "It's like you always know when the other is ready for the ball."
"I told Y/n she needs to come to Arsenal after Lyon," Tayor said, leaning over.
"Ah, yeah, that's a good idea," Lotte responded, turning to face Y/n again, "We could really use what you two have. Plus, I'd like to play with you. I miss playing with you between camps" she winked.
"Aw, Lotte, that's sweet. I've got another season at Lyon, and I want to come back to the WSL, so I'll be looking next season at my options."
"Well, we'll all put in a good word with Renee. I'm sure she'd be happy to have you. Besides, you deserve to play for a team that's won the Champions League," Leah teased.
Lucy groaned. "Y/n, if you come back and choose Arsenal, I will spend every camp from then on handing out more insults to you tan you could ever give back."
"And how many more camps are we talking about, Grandma?" Y/n smirked.
Alessia laughed out loud. Y/n turned to look at her, a grin forming on her face, knowing she was able to earn such a laugh from her.
"Face it, Bronze," Leah said, grabbing Y/n's shoulders. "She was born to be a Gunner."
As they left dinner to go to their respective rooms, Alessia walked up to her.
"Fancy going for a walk around this place?"
Y/n nodded. "ANything to spend more time with you," she smiled.
They walked around the grounds of the hotel, finally stopping to sit on a bench. They were silent at first, taking in the night sky, until Alessia spoke.
"I just wanted to say thank you for tolerating me in all my forms this camp. I know it's been...eventful, and I know I haven't exactly been my usual self. I just want you to know that I appreciate your kindness. You really have always been such a good friend to me. You've always cared for me. I think that's why I'm so sure about wanting you as my partner when th time's right, because I already know you'll treat me like I deserve to be treated."
"We always have made a good team," Y/n said, looking at her.
Alessia held her gaze. "We really have...Maybe the other Gunners are right, maybe you should come to Arsenal."
"I do miss playing with you at the club level. I miss consistently training with you. Those years at United were some of the best years of my life. And you were the main reason."
Suddenly, Alessia leaned in and wrapped her arms around her. Y/n held her close.
"We made some incredible memories there. It'd be really cool to make more."
Alessia moved back to look at Y/n.
Y/n nodded. "Yeah. I mean, I can't promise anything, but I'm letting you know that if an offer comes my way, I won't dismiss it."
Alessia smiled. "Well, Lotte better put that good word in for you, then."
They parted ways shortly after to get some sleep. In the morning, there were many goodbyes over breakfast. Y/n felt a sadness at saying goodbye to her teammates. So many of them played in the WSL and had club teammates in the squad, but she was leaving them for a whole different team. She thought about it as she watched Alessia, Lotte, Leah, Beth, and Taylor talk together in the corner.
She turned to see Georgia standing beside her.
"I'm glad I'm returning to England after this season's over. It's tough to leave them all behind, not being guaranteed to play against each other at club level. At least you've got the semi-finals, but I get it."
"Would it be wild of me to consider a move to Arsenal?" she asked, the words spilling out before she could think about what she was saying.
"For them, or for her?" Georgia smirked.
Y/n smiled. "I think you already know the answer."
"As much as it physically pains me to say this because I'm not great with couples, I think it's cute. And I think she'd be very excited."
After breakfast, she headed upstairs to pack away the last of her things. The others were downstairs checking out when she got there. They all had to be out of their rooms by 11am, but not everyone was leaving at the same time. Unfortunately, Y/n's flight to Paris was at 1:30pm, so she was headed straight to the airport.
After checking out, she saw Alessia standing with her Arsenal teammates, all planning what to do in their last few hours before leaving. As she walked up to them, Alessia turned and faced her.
The others all hugged her first. Taylor wished her a safe trip, Lotte joked that she better come play for them after next season, Leah teased that she better be ready for the match the following week, and Beth told her she was warming up to the idea of her becoming a Gunner. And then Alessia was the only one remaining. They embraced tightly, Alessia burying her head in her neck.
"I know I'll see you in a week, but I am going to miss you so much," she whispered.
Y/n gave her a squeeze. "Come June, I'm all yours, Less," she promised her.
"It can't come soon enough."
Y/n let go of her and made her way out the doors. Once she'd walked through them, she glanced back. Alessia was staring straight at her.
She waved her goodbye, which Alessia reciprocated, and then she turned and walked to the waiting car.
The plane landed in Paris, she grabbed her luggage and headed for the train to Lyon. While on the train, her phone buzzed.
Alessia: Waiting at the airport now. I miss you. Thought I was doing a good job of hiding it, but Beth is teasing me. When you come back to the WSL, you have to come to London, even if not for Arsenal. xx
She grinned at her phone.
Y/n: I'll do it for your teammates' sake. Don't think they can cope with your sadness for more than another season. Besides, I think the fans deserve to see our link-ups ;) xx
Alessia: We'd be unstoppable xx
a/n: Hope you enjoyed! I'm going to keep uploading as the Arsenal v Lyon games happen, so maybe expect part 3 early next week!
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