Things That Make Me Smile

[irod76]

Recipes

[irod76]

[irod76]

I made these cute baby ice skates

[irod76]

[irod76]

Funny sheep dancing while caught in a tire swing. Then the photographer helps him escape the tire.

[irod76]

Creepy cute

[avengers-posts]

[irod76]

I thought it ran over poop. Probably diarrhea.

[amateur]

Imagine you chilling at your friend crib and they take a piece of they furniture off and eat it 😂

[daminwayne]

drink water!!!! dance in your room!!!!!! eat a lot of veggies!!!!!! dance as you do chores!!!!!! eat some fruit!!!!!!!! let yourself feel sad!!!!! have that $5 hot drink sometimes!!!!! try to smile even when you’re alone and doing some work!!!! listen to music that makes you happy when you’re feeling down!!!!!! we’ve all gone through crap and life might have more in store for us but we got this!!!!! 

[allcreatureswarmandwoolly]

Hey guys! Would you like to have your own herd of alpacas? Pocket ‘Pacas are perfectly portable, low maintenance companions for the alpaca enthusiast without a farm. They come in a variety of colors, some modeled after my own boys! As you can see, they are Speed Bump approved! XD 

Check out these and my other alpaca-related/nerdy stuff on my etsy!

[daddywillprotectyou]

@littlealpacacutie have you seen this??

[smolalpacacutie-deactivated2021]

They don’t deliver to Australia. 😭

[allcreatureswarmandwoolly]

I’ve been meaning to put international shipping on my shop, so it should be available now! I also have my farm etsy, where I have some alpacas felted from my alpacas’ fiber.

[motherhenna]

Ok so I was looking for historical slang terms for penis (gotta be era-accurate when writing vintage dick jokes) and I came across….something

some linguist compiled a literal timeline of genitalia slang–a cock compendium, if you will–that dates back all the way to the fucking 13th CENTURY. This motherfucker tracked the evolution of erection etymology through 800+ years, because if he doesn’t do it, who else will? Thank you for your service, Johnathon Green.

[motherhenna]

Some of my favorites include:

Shaft of Delight (1700s)

Womb Sweeper (1980s)

Master John Goodfellow (1890s)

Nimble-Wimble (1650s)

Corporal Love (1930s)

Staff of Life (1880s)

Spindle (1530s)

As good as ever twanged (1670s)

Gaying Instrument (1810s)

Beef Torpedo (1980s)

and last but not least, the first recorded use of the word Schlong, which was in 1865 CE. Tag yourself, I’m Nimble Wimble 

[motherhenna]

And are the lovely ladies feeling left out? not to worry! Johnathon’s got you covered, gals, because he also made one for vaginas. Highlights:

Mrs. Fubb’s Parlor (1820s)

Poontang (1950s)

Spunk Box (1720s)

Ringerangroo (1930s)

Ineffable (1890s)

Itching Jenny (1890s)

Carnal Mantrap (1890s - a busy decade apparently)

Bookbinder’s Wife (1760s)

Rough Malkin (1530s)

Socket (1460s)

and a personal favorite, crinkum-crankum, circa approximately 1670.

[theymightbegiantsquids]

@antique-symbolism

[jumpingjacktrash]

this alone has justified the internet

[thesokovianaccords]

here’s the thing about adulthood-

you will go for like three months with nothing happening and you’re bored as hell and then in the span of two weeks eight different things happen at once - some fantastic and some shitty and some just plain bonkers - and you’re just running around like a chicken with your head cut off and no clue what the fuck is going on

[favoritelatina]

Having my attention? A privilege.

[justonehook]

[reckless-stitches]

Do a lot of prenatal wards want these? The rules are so specific for the prenatal squids people make. These rules seem flexible.

[irod76]

This sounds easy and quick.

[sosuperawesome]

Macarons by Melly Eats World, on Instagram

[outtagum]

Oscars 2018: Best Picture Nominees

[ilmondodelcinema]

Good luck!!

[enjoleur-enjolras]

*sigh* I miss Pushing Daisies…