Irredeemable Sociopath

Independent Thad Thawne RP Account. Thad isn't necessarily sane or friendly. Current Magic Anon: None FC: Benjamin Stone (but will use other gifs when needed. Which is confusing probably but I DO WHAT I WANT) Art and gifs belong to their respective owners and certainly not to me

[another-lifetime]

I'm out of Excuses, So I'm Staring at the Bed.

[another-lifetime]

They were bad at this. Like two teenagers on the cusp of puberty, seeing the attractiveness in the other for the first time. Unable to voice it. Unable to understand it. A deep tension lingering in the air between them. Keeping them at a fine distance. Taunting them with heartbreaking desire.

You had to be careful, gentle, slow. One slip and a raging, vengeful rush of emotions would wash them out. It had stepped in before. And Terra could feel in working around the edges of the room. Pushing panic at them. Waiting for one of them to trip up, unconcerned of who first. Though in fairness, it was usual her. Reckless and brash. Knees shaking  at the force she held beck with.

"….Hi.."

A voice unlike her own. Soft. And almost timid. The way you would speak to a young deer that wondered into your front yard. And just like with any skid-ish animal, she made no movements. Stark still. Even her eyes didn’t seem to need to blink as much. Or maybe it was the fear he would vanish the second they closed

"Would you…ho…..do you wanna come in?"

So what if he already was? She was inviting Thad to stay. But, acting as though he hadn’t been caught sneaking in. It seemed in her mind, a fair compromise.

[irredeemablespeedster]

The impulse to flicker inside the room at the speed of a tachyon enveloped him. He pushed it down, slid it under the hum that deafened everything. He tried to shake it off. Had to shake this off. Terra was here. Terra was talking to him. This was happening. His hand flashed to his hair where he pretended at pushing it back behind his ear. A nervous laugh nearly erupted from his suddenly dry throat, but he stopped it short just as it began. His motions blinked this way and that and even Thad had to wonder what on Earth he was fucking doing.

He was in the room. Just four feet away from her. Wait, when did that happen? He was discombobulated. His processing speed was lagging at least a few seconds behind his actions. His brain was folding in on itself trying to keep up. Hadn't he just been trying to sneak through here without her attention? He should be running. He owed her better than that. He should be running. He was already in the room.

"Hey." His voice sounded a hell of a lot more even than he was feeling. There was still a dull pulsing at the top of his spine. He wet his tongue and it lessened. He should be running.

"Long time no see." That sounded ridiculous. His eyes darted over her form, scrambling to memorize her features again. Her appearance had faded in his memories and he had to drink it all in again. He might forget it again. Later, after he'd run. He owed her better than that. 

He should be running.

[another-lifetime]

I'm out of Excuses, So I'm Staring at the Bed.

[another-lifetime]

He had walked right by. Thad had walked right by. And she stood there looking over her shoulder and then once again empty door way. Arms lax at her sides. Mouth just slightly open. Like an undignified statue. Maybe she’d finally gone mad. The combination of Slade’s suit and Scarecrows gas permanently warping her brain to see only ghosts of her past.

But…did ghost have feet. Feet that made sound with each step? Hallucinations could, and Thad was walking so slow, that’s what he had to be. A rerun cutting through her present life. Acting shifty, and nervous, and flexing his fingers- no, no, no, this had to be him. And he was up to something. Was it wrong of her to assume that? It wasn’t her fault suspicion seeped off of him and left puddles in his wake.

Terra continued to watched silently. Peering pass the door frame. Her soft blue eye tracing his lean form for clues to his odd presence. Memorizing each step. Each tilt of his head, and he would notice her soon. A small enough moment to catch her shape in the corner of his eye.

It caused her heart to climb up her throat. The numbing fear that if her spotted her, he might flee. Vanish into memories again. But if Terra alerted him, he could do the same. And try as she might, her heart wouldn’t be swallowed back down. It whispered inside her head. Telling her to stay. Begging her to go. Unable to make up its mind any more than she could. Her hands shook, though a braver though rose pass the whispering.

Thad was in her house. Whether he ran or not, she had the right to confront him. And each time she repeated it to herself, she became a little bolder. Stronger. Enough to step out of the doorway and softly call out, “Thad….”

[irredeemablespeedster]

He thought he heard her. He thought he heard her and he froze. He tried, for a long time, to convince himself that he hadn't. He pressed his weight down on his foot. He tried to force himself to move forward. Tried to force himself to keep going. It would have been easy if he hadn't heard. He hadn't. He hadn't heard. It was all in his head. All in his fucked up, halfway-hopeful head.

He had.

He did hear. 

Shaking, he lifted the weight from his foot and redistributed it evenly. Stagnation. Stillness again. He swallowed dry air. He couldn't say anything. There was nothing to say. But he had to. He knew he had to. There was too much that he'd run away with. 

His mouth itched. Fuck, his throat was closing up. Constricting with unsaid somethings. Fingers ached. Hands shook. Was that cold sweat building on his neck? 

He was struck with the compulsion to blurt out an apology. It didn't sit well with him. That sort of thing never did. He swallowed it back down. Pretended he hadn't wanted to say that. 

He breathed out and steadied his voice, the same way he would have steadied a pen in his shaking hand. 

"Yes...?

[irredeemablespeedster]

Psh, psh. "Gives a noogie. "

[irredeemablespeedster]

THHHAAAAAAD. :) hi

[another-lifetime]

I'm out of Excuses, So I'm Staring at the Bed.

Count the hours. The days. The months. Whichever you chose, it wouldn’t matter. They all add up to the same amount of time, the time he had spent away. Turing into complete nonexistence over night. Becoming solely a memory in one exhale; The rattle of a breath between her tears. And looking back on each moment, it was odd how their separation seemed years and seconds in one twisted knot deep in her chest.

The agony of unknowing, lifted with the sight of his face. His twisted, haunted, empty smile. Terra saw it floating in regret  and desperation. Just like his eyes. Burning holes in her long after he left. Watching her with out a body.

What would he say, once they were alone? What could Thad say? He left, got lost, found someone else, became imprisoned-God like she hadn’t thought of any possible reason before. Laying in her bed, her brain going over every detail or their interactions against her will. There was nothing that could be changed now. And nothing then. Both were lost in the heat of the moment, the lust of two young adults. I retrospect, you can do anything better, but it’s only theories left untested. ‘What ifs’ that tormented her for months after Terra knew he wasn’t coming back.

So alone in Thad’s stuffy, and unused spare room of the town house, she waited. Stomach turning. Starting down at the untouched, crisply made bed. Knowing, there were millions of excuses, on her part, on his, dancing around faults and actions caused by their past and their fears. It had to be different this time. Honest, and bold and pure. She couldn’t punish Thad for the betrayal of others, or the abuse and lies that didn’t come from him. It was all she had to offer. That, and patience.

[irredeemablespeedster]

Thad never had trouble sneaking into places. Vibrating through walls or doors made getting in easy. He moved fast enough that it was difficult to see him once he'd gotten in. He moved slow now. The floorboards creaked under his weight, but he didn't think anyone was home.

The sunlight illuminated dust floating through the air, churning slowly. It made him afraid to touch anything. What if he broke something? What if he misplaced it or set it just to the right enough for them to notice? What would they think?

Would they know it had been him?

He didn't want to see her. He did. No. He just wanted to take something of hers. As fucked up as it was, he needed something to remember her by. It made his ears whine with a high pitched hum, like a knife twisting in his brain. Something new. Something tangible. Something he could hold and look at. Something real. More than memories, which could fade. Which could be forgotten. 

He couldn't show his face to her. Not to her and not to him. It'd be too much. He could picture him angry. He could see her unhappy. Disappointed. So, lightly he walked, fingers aching to take something of hers. Something precious enough to remind him of her. Something small enough that she might not notice it missing.

Heart thudding in his ears, he walked down the hall, past his old room. He'd never used the thing. He'd never thought pity suited him. It didn't really belong to him. Not really. He'd needed something of his own. Though he wondered now, if he'd taken the room, would he have seen her more? Would they be closer?

Would things have been different?

He thought he saw someone out of the corner of his eye in there, but no. No, it couldn't have been. He didn't want it to be. So he kept walking.

[another-lifetime]

no but what if thad was a cockatoo…..

[irredeemablespeedster]

//Oh my fucking god this is perfect

[irredeemablespeedster]

 the-forgotten-robin SAID: /HITS YOU WITH A ROCK

[irredeemablespeedster]

[the-forgotten-robin-blog]

[irredeemablespeedster]

[irredeemablespeedster]

 the-forgotten-robin SAID: /HITS YOU WITH A ROCK

[claireveriearchive]

[irredeemablespeedster]

For all my roleplay partners:

Never hold your muse back. For real. If your muse wants to lash out at mine, or kiss mine, or tell mine a horrible secret, or slam mine against a wall — go for it. Don’t ever feel like I’ll get your reply and judge you or your muse. Your character has...

[irredeemablespeedster]

//It happened

I came back.

If anyone wants to thread, hit me UP

[irredeemablespeedster]

why did u eat my fries

[irredeemablespeedster]

... you can't call me Allen anymore.

What's this?

You'll always be an Allen.

I'll always call you Allen.

[irredeemablespeedster]

thaddu

what

[irredeemablespeedster]

[DROPS A GIANT SLIMY TOAD ON]

[irredeemablespeedster]

"Notreally." He nods, glances away, back, handsinpocketsawayagain. He can't do this-- standing still. Talking. Needs to do something, but can't initiate, because if he does he might break this whateveritis between them and he can't. do. that. "Wherever you want is fine. Idon'tcare."

“Very well.” Thad grabs Bart’s wrist and abruptly begins walking. It’s with intensity and briskness and he doesn’t even look at Bart. He can’t. He just keeps tugging him along. There’s a bit of a silence and then Thad asks, still not looking at him and in a voice touched with awkwardness, 

“Are you hungry?”

[irredeemablespeedster]

[DROPS ALL THE FROGS ON!]

Do that once more and I'll end you

[uss-enterpride]

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