In a Hail of Bullet-Shaped Pills

Josiah Burrkes. I will be a Better man. I-I will live for the Betterment of my glorious City. I will live for the B-Betterment of those around me. I am a better man. … Aren’t I? No. It’s Neon Noose. Don’t work from the inside, kids. It’s more pain than it’s worth, I’m afraid. (( OC KJ RP Blog. FC: Milo Ventimiglia. Track: isgrayacolor , josiahburrkes , neonnoose ))

[is-gray-a-color]

tragic-beautyxoxo:

yea…..I wish you were here too. Are you doing ok?

I’m ok-kay......

[is-gray-a-color]

F-F-Finally have a r-radio back…

[tragic-beautyxoxo-blog]

Love?

[is-gray-a-color]

T-Trag-gic???

[tragic-beautyxoxo-blog]

Yes, I’m back out in the zones. Thanks to a friend but I really do miss you.

[is-gray-a-color]

At least y-you're s-safe.

[is-gray-a-color]

F-F-Finally have a r-radio back…

[tragic-beautyxoxo-blog]

Love?

[is-gray-a-color]

T-Trag-gic???

[is-gray-a-color]

F-F-Finally have a r-radio back...

[is-gray-a-color]

......

[inboxstuff]

Weird metaphor asks (send a number to see what my muse would be if they were…)

1. A song. 2. An animal. 3. A food. 4. A location. 5. A season. 6. An element. 7. A color. 8. A flower. 9. A weapon. 10. A literary genre. 11. A weather.

[is-gray-a-color]

(( Can I pull this son of a gun back out now? Is that a thing I can do?? ))

[is-gray-a-color]

(( Alright, y'all. Apparently I pulled Josiah back into the game when I didn't know what half we were in or even what the score was. I'm benching him for just a little longer until I figure it out who the crap we're up against. Thanks for y'all's patience. ))

[is-gray-a-color]

Blindeyesandloudmouths,

Y-Yes?

[blindeyesandloudmouths]

I… Nothing. I just heard about your signal from the past, is all.

[is-gray-a-color]

The p-past? What d-d-do you m-mean?

[is-gray-a-color]

Blindeyesandloudmouths,

Y-Yes?

[is-gray-a-color]

I n-n-need s-someth-thing to d-do. I need w-w-work...

[is-gray-a-color]

I s-suppose I'm alright... Y-Yes, of c-c-cours-se. Th-Thank you.... Y-Y-You as we-ell.

[is-gray-a-color]

Ngh... M-My head......

[laqx]

[aseaofquotes]

— Jack London

[is-gray-a-color]

I'll Take You Back, Always

[tragic-beautyxoxo-blog]

//Tragic raised her eyebrows at the two dracs arguing…well one yelling at the other. Thought they were supposed to work together. This could be good or bad for her and Josiah. She hoped good. She raised her eyebrows higher when the other one…Josh?….snapped at her to shut up.//

very rude

// Her head snapped over to Tyler when he screamed at her. That boy has some rage issues. She tried to move away, the best she could with her shoulders in the condition they were in. She relaxed, only for a minute when he turned back to the other drac to scream at him again. Letting her guard and not seeing him come towards her and grab her by the back of the neck like a dog. Tragic dug her heels in to stop but sadly didn’t work. Serious had no manners….rude child. The hit caught her by surprise and her head snapped to the side. Putting her in a daze.//

[formfittingcrimes]

//Josh didn’t even try to answer Tyler. He couldn’t think of anything that didn’t sound stupid, and he knew that nothing he said was even gonna get through at this point anyway. He just stared at him blankly as he screamed, looking almost like he was embarrassed for him. He vaguely wondered if this was how it used to feel for other people when he’d have little ragefits. He was glad he didn’t do that anymore.//

//He sighed a little when Tyler moved over to the rat girl, as if he was just exasperated with the whole thing and ready to go home. But he couldn’t stop a little flush of embarrassment from coloring his cheeks at his words. He understood what they meant, and he did feel a little guilty for making his best friend so upset that he was stuttering again, but he wasn’t sure what to do about it.// Tyler…

//At the sound of Josiah’s voice close behind him, Josh scowled, reaching up to clamp his hand over the other boy’s mouth without even looking at him.// Shut the fuck up, //he groaned, making sure his elbow dug into his chest before his expression changed, giving Tyler a look of something almost like sympathy.// C’mon, bro, they can be a matched set or something, I dunno. Let’s just take them in and go home, please??

[curedofdisease]

… //Tyler stopped short mid-blow at his words. He ground his teeth together, still glaring at Tragic, fingers clenching harder as he tried to will himself to hit her again despite the tone in Josh’s voice. But he couldn’t. Without the reaction he wanted, he couldn’t muster up the strength. He wanted to prove Josh was in the wrong here, not… humiliate himself by acting irrationally, by lashing out and acting like this. It made him feel just as bad as the rats they were holding captive.//

F-fuck… //His fist loosened, then fell limply to his side. He blinked hard, trying to ward off the sudden burning sting in his eyes. Josh was speaking gently to him, sympathizing, pitying, but just hearing him do it made everything feel worse. His insides twisting, he suddenly let Tragic drop to the ground. He had blood on his knuckles and he stared blankly down at his hands, wringing them briefly in front of him before he shook his head, cringing at himself.//

L-… load them into the van. //He didn’t dare look at Josh, moving past him and back towards where they’d come.// Let’s j-just.. get this fucking over with…

[is-gray-a-color]

//In the two sentences from his and Tragic’s abuser, Josiah felt an ocean of relief rush over him, cover him, nearly drown him. Home. He wouldn’t have to worry about guns and knives and life and death. He could breathe. He could live. He could work. Maybe he could go back to being Josiah.//

//He allowed himself to breathe and fall silent again. Quietly, very quietly he felt himself relaxing against the seat of the car once they were in it. Finally. Finally going home.//

[wordsnquotes]

“I don’t want to fade away, I want to flame away - I want my death to be an attraction, a spectacle, a mystery. A work of art.”

Jennifer Egan, A Visit from the Goon Squad (via wordsnquotes)