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@isabellapage-blog1
“Starting to think we might need to take anything sharp away from you so anything further than a little chop happens.”
“Maybe this is a sign. Maybe that is fate giving me the push to stop being jobless. Maybe this means I should be a hair dresser of some sort. Am I reaching too far?”
“Let’s hope you never find the hair clippers as that would take awhile for you to grow your hair back then.”
“Would you still like me if I buzzed my hair off? That’s a fashion trend now, you know. I could pull off the whole Eleven from Stranger Things look, I think.”
“If I woke up and found scissors under my pillow, I’d be worried. But, sure, cute works too.”
“I guess there’s that whole accidentally hurting yourself fear. I dunno, what can I say? I like to live on the edge, Logan Gilmore.”
“Well that’s fucking terrifying…”
“Really? I thought it was charming and endearing. Cute, you know? Like little drunk Bella trying to be a hair stylist.”
“I woke up with scissors under the pillow and vaguely remember just about giving myself a haircut last night. Note to self-- hide the scissors next time I drink.”
“Its rather nice to hear, it’s like me sitting here and calling you beautiful its always nice to hear. And I do think that by the way not just an example. But a good one at that. Oh I’ll be sure to remember don’t worry, I feel like you taking advantage would be not just joyous for you I’m sure. At that statement I’m starting to think I should just forever be naked around you right? Even though that would take away the stripping part for you. Oh so its not just my body, as that is definitely something good to know. Use them against you? me, never. Colt might enjoy it, I hear its great exercise, don’t they now do classes for exercise in it, in fact. Yeah I am going to disagree to the death its anything to do with me, My stubble and I have no involvement in the mark upon your chin. We’re innocent till proven guilty. Hire him, not sure it’s a great profile kind of case for him but if not all have to defend myself and I will find a way round it. Oh so its not that bad to curb the kissing then? Okay fine i’ll allow someone else, as long as includes a beard brush and beard massage. You know to help the little ones grow longer on my face.”
“You think I’m beautiful? That’s... That is really nice to hear. I think I need to hear you say it again. Are you insinuating that you wouldn’t mind me taking advantage of you? You’d actually enjoy it? Did I finally discover a kink of yours? You know, I wouldn’t mind you being naked around me at all. As long as we’re inside. If we go out, I need you to put on clothes. Until you have the ‘Property of Bella Page’ tattoo on your chest, I mean. After that, you can walk around naked anywhere, ‘cause then people will know I’ve got dibs on you. They do have classes for it now, Chloe and I were thinking of taking one. So I might actually be good by the time the pole arrives, I hope that excites you. Definitely not going to curb the kissing, no. I’m willing to suffer the burn beard just to keep kissing you. Believe it or not, I actually like kissing you, so it’ll take a lot more than a beard burn to stop it. Help them grow longer on your face? How much longer are we talking? Will you be able to braid them? That’s where I’ll have to draw the line. If your beard hair looks better than my actual hair, we’re going to have a major problem, Joel Wright.”
“You know that you’re welcome at my place any time. And I’ve got a couple of camping chairs that you guys could borrow until you get around to buying actual chairs, if you want.”
“Elliot already extended the offer, he beat you to it. Thank you, though, I appreciate it. Really? You’d let me borrow those? I’m kind of digging the whole mix-matched furniture thing. If I borrow one thing from every person here, my living room would be so eclectic.”
“Maybe you can give me some tips in case it happens again. No, I was just the make-up lady, making sure all of the bridal party looked hot as hell.”
“The first and most important tip is to shave your arm hair off. All of it. Wax every follicle off. So you’re a makeup artist? That’s so cool! How long have you been doing that for?”
“It’s scripted and in the later seasons shit gets really crazy.”
“I may just have to watch it, then. Starting at your place because my apartment is still empty. Though Colt and I did order a table that should be arriving soon. No chairs just yet, but bear with me.”
“You should come to Salem during winter. Its pretty amazing.”
“Salem, Oregon or Salem, Massachusetts?”
Elliot nodded as she assured her well-being, though he still looked her over to make sure himself. It wouldn’t have been the first time he had accidentally injured someone with his excitement. “Well that is good. I would hope so because you may just be getting a ton more now that you are staying.” His statement carried both a promise and warning. As she might just get big bear hugs from him often. “Ah well then I am very very happy for you. As long as you are happy all is well. Under a tree? Didn’t he know everyone was leaving that day? That is very funny.” Elliot responded, a small laugh in his voice. Offering his bed was, in his mind, the least he could do. He would do anything to help. He genuinely enjoyed it. “The bathtub? On non. That is not a very comfortable place to sleep. I will definitely let him know he is welcome.”
“I don’t know what that boy’s logic is. I think he thought the day after was when everyone was leaving. He’s a mystery to me, honestly,” Bella laughed, shaking her head as she thought about her roommate. “You’re too good for this world, you know that, Elliot?” The girl spoke with sincerity, a small smile of awe on her lips. Her expression quickly perked up at the image of her current apartment; empty aside from two pieces of furniture. “You know, the only things we have in our apartment are a stool and that painting you made us. We decided to hang it in the living room. It would be above the couch if we had one. For now it’s got its own wall and looks great.”
❛ Alright, you gotta get me out of this car. I’m getting too horned up. ❜ / ❛ We both know my only options are getting pregnant or getting arrested. ❜ / ❛ No one gives a shit who you bang. ❜
❛ Alright, you gotta get me out of this car. I’m getting too horned up. ❜
“Nic, calm down, please. It took is fifteen minutes to get an Uber to agree to pick us up because our ratings were so low. We’ve gotta’ get as far as we can with this driver, so control your hormones for twenty minutes, I beg.”
❛ We both know my only options are getting pregnant or getting arrested. ❜
“Considering we know an almost lawyer, I’d say go with getting arrested. If you get pregnant, you’re trapped for eighteen years minimum.”
❛ No one gives a shit who you bang. ❜
“You included? Does that mean you don’t want to know what’s going on with my love life?”
paintingflcwcrs:
‘Shameless’ (US) Sentence Starters
WARNING: This meme, like the show, is very vulgar and most of it is NSFW mainly due to profanity.
❛ A shrink at school says I’m one of God’s mistakes. ❜ ❛ Ain’t you the queen of silver linings! ❜ ❛ All teenagers are sex addicts. ❜ ❛ Alright shithead, this is like the two hundredth time I’m calling and you not picking up. I’m starting to get fucking homicidal. Call me the fuck back. I’m worried about you. I love you. Call me back. ❜ ❛ Alright, you gotta get me out of this car. I’m getting too horned up. ❜ ❛ An accident? Where his penis just slipped into your vagina? ❜ ❛ Another word and I’ll blow your brains all over the fucking linoleum. ❜ ❛ Are you going to leave? ❜ ❛ Choose a gender and find someone who wants to fuck. Preferably for free. ❜ ❛ Christ, I am tired of being poor. ❜ ❛ Circle doesn’t start with ‘s’? What the fuck? ❜ ❛ Come here. Get in my forcefield. ❜ ❛ Did the two of us finish off an entire gallon of box wine the other night? ❜ ❛ Did you purposely order a Sex on the Beach so I’d say it to the gay bartender? ❜ ❛ Do whatever the fuck you need to do. I’ve got this. ❜ ❛ Does he get that look in his eye when he’s with you? ❜ ❛ Does she make you happy or is it just about the sex? ❜ ❛ Eat my ass! ❜ ❛ Everybody always leaves. ❜ ❛ Front door was locked so I came in the back. No pun intended. ❜ ❛ Happy is overrated. Grow up. ❜ ❛ I believe the answer to that question, like the answer to most questions, is ‘fuck you.’ ❜ ❛ I did everything for you, but you’re so fucking blind! ❜ ❛ I did it all for you. You might even want to say thank you. ❜ ❛ I don’t get how you have a kid and not give a shit what happens to it. ❜ ❛ I don’t get it. Half of the world has penises, why do people get so upset about seeing them? ❜ ❛ I don’t give a fuck. I’m happy to knock your fucking teeth out. ❜ ❛ I don’t go onto Facebook, okay? ‘Cause I don’t give a shit about whose pet just died or who just checked in at the fucking McDonald’s. ❜ ❛ I don’t know how much more I can take of that before I stab him/her in the neck with a broken beer bottle. ❜ ❛ I don’t love you! ❜ ❛ I haven’t had a drink for two days… Well, granted, I was unconscious. ❜ ❛ I just came here for a fucking beer, alright? ❜ ❛ I know that shit, bitch! That’s a cat! ❜ ❛ I made a list of the top 50 stupidest things I’ve done and all 50 were when I was drunk. ❜ ❛ I never thought I’d say this, but you were right. ❜ ❛ I saw you smile. ❜ ❛ I think you deviated my septum! ❜ ❛ I thought it might be different this time. ❜ ❛ I trust you. That’s bigger to me than ‘I love you.’ ❜ ❛ I want you to take that shiv and jam it in his eye. ❜ ❛ I will make this kitchen my bitch. ❜ ❛ I would never leave you. Ever. You gotta know that. After everything we’ve been through, you kind just have to know that. ❜ ❛ If you’re gonna talk shit at least do it right. ❜ ❛ It smells worse than a dead hooker’s ass in there. ❜ ❛ It wouldn’t have happened without you. ❜ ❛ It’s a shame when someone you love gets taken away, isn’t it? ❜ ❛ It’s never about me and I’m finally making it about me! ❜ ❛ I’d be crying right now if I wasn’t so high. ❜ ❛ I’d trade my left nut for one more hour of sleep. ❜ ❛ I’m gonna beat your ass like a piñata until candy falls out! ❜ ❛ I’m not a tool, so you don’t get to treat me like one. ❜ ❛ I’m not homeless, I told you. I have a home, I’m just not welcome there. ❜ ❛ I’m not my dad. You hear me? I’m not my fucking dad! ❜ ❛ I’m probably biased, but you deserve better than him/her/them. ❜ ❛ I’m sick of living in your shadow! ❜ ❛ I’m taking care of me for a change, not him/her/them. ❜ ❛ I’m the only thing that passes for a responsible adult that you’re gonna find. ❜ ❛ Keep laughing or I will slit your throat in your sleep. ❜ ❛ Last message, promise. Wherever you are… Bye. ❜ ❛ Let’s be honest, he/she is my last chance at happiness and that’s more important than video games and masturbation, right? ❜ ❛ Let’s go get drunk and buy a gun. ❜ ❛ Look at me, I can’t go to jail! I might as well wear heels. ❜ ❛ Men are never right. That’s why women were invented, to think for you assholes. ❜ ❛ Name a single time I’ve ever let you down. ❜ ❛ Next time, I’m gonna break both of your fucking knee caps, ‘kay? ❜ ❛ No one gives a shit who you bang. ❜ ❛ No one likes to hear a grown man whine. It’s like the verbal equivalent of a dude wearing UGGs. ❜ ❛ No one’s ever been as good to me as you have. ❜ ❛ No, no, no, no, no, no. The bat is for killing, not for taking to school. ❜ ❛ Not everybody just gets to blurt out how they fuckin’ feel every minute. ❜ ❛ Not to be a dick or anything, but you have been kind of a whore. ❜ ❛ Oh shit, I’m sorry. You know I would’ve never said that to your face. ❜ ❛ Oh, don’t mind me. I accidentally took three of my pills instead of one. ❜ ❛ One of my unspoken rules is you don’t fuck somebody else when we’re on a date. ❜ ❛ People fuck up. That’s life. ❜ ❛ People like us, we can be happy. ❜ ❛ Random destruction makes you think of me? ❜ ❛ Really? That’s all you’re gonna say? ❜ ❛ See that? They’re digging your grave. And you wanna be gone before they get that to six feet. ❜ ❛ Seriously, I don’t mean to be an asshole. It’s just genetic. ❜ ❛ Should I apologize or leave? …I’m gonna leave. ❜ ❛ Show of hands, how many of you, at one point or another, wanted to see me dead? ❜ ❛ Some girls are just jerks. ❜ ❛ Stop acting like the world is out to get you when it’s so clearly dropping gifts at your feet. ❜ ❛ Stuff just happens sometimes. ❜ ❛ The best part of making a baby is that you get to have sex while doing it. ❜ ❛ The first rule you hide in this house: You hide the goddamn money! ❜ ❛ The only way to make money when you’re poor is to steal it or scam it. ❜ ❛ We both know my only options are getting pregnant or getting arrested. ❜ ❛ Well, he may look like he’s in a boy band, but he’s got a point. ❜ ❛ Well, if you need me I’ll be across the street in the bushes, stalking you. ❜ ❛ What are you hoping, I tell you not to go? ❜ ❛ What the fuck are you looking at? ❜ ❛ What you and I have makes me free. Not what these assholes know. ❜ ❛ Whatever. Liking what I like don’t make me a bitch. ❜ ❛ When she/he/they say ‘fuck you’ it means ‘I love you.’ ❜ ❛ When you focus on other people’s problems, it’s a lot easier to ignore your own. ❜ ❛ Where can I get knives and blunts? ❜ ❛ Why would anyone go to the zoo sober? ❜ ❛ Will you? Wait? Fucking lie to me if you have to. ❜ ❛ Yeah, it gives me more time to buy drugs and fence stolen goods. ❜ ❛ You can’t own a motto! ❜ ❛ You could do things with your tongue that would make a rattlesnake blush. ❜ ❛ You deserve to get out, even if you don’t take me with you. ❜ ❛ You did okay. You tried. It’s a lot more than most people would do. ❜ ❛ You don’t love me. ❜ ❛ You have made me happy. I’ve never been very happy. ❜ ❛ You have to let me go. You have to let me let you go. I need you to do that for me. ❜ ❛ You know that jagermeister really makes you chatty, right? ❜ ❛ You know what? Nothing’s ever your problem. Make it your problem! ❜ ❛ You know where I live if you have a problem. ❜ ❛ You know, having a Russian sex worker isn’t ideal for child care. ❜ ❛ You say that again and I’ll rip your tongue out of your head. ❜ ❛ You take care of everyone, but no one takes care of you. ❜ ❛ You think you scare me? Bring it, bitch. ❜ ❛ You want to get shit faced in the middle of the day? Vodka’s best. Believe me. ❜ ❛ Your coochie smells like brimstone and Sulfur. ❜ ❛ You’re a loud, mean, vicious bitch. ❜ ❛ You’re better than anyone I’ve ever met and you deserve to get out. ❜ ❛ You’re kind of growing on me. ❜ ❛ You’re not lost. You don’t need finding. ❜ ❛ You’re nothing like anyone I’ve ever met. You make me want to enjoy my life again. ❜ ❛ ______ doesn’t have any friends. Only people he/she/they haven’t pissed off yet. ❜
oliviavbye:
“Never before in my life have I ever seen someone be such a bridezilla. The woman was completely insane. But, I have to admit, I’ve never had someone threaten to set me on fire before, so that was new.”
“I have been lit on fire lots of times before, that threat is– or was– very real for me. Were you in a wedding party?”
