warning: TK yaps, a lot. there's a tl;dr below, but it's important and applies to the whole fandom, so i'd appreciate if you read it all... also considering this might be the last you hear from me for a little bit.
so, remember when i said i was taking a half-step back from nullasvoid?
i didn't want it to come to this, but i'm afraid it's going to be a full step now.
as a majority of you know, i'm part of a server that's been trying to suss me out for a while. recently, i've been invited by some people in there to bear witness to a myriad of... fandom conflicts, and to understand the true nature of an ongoing matter that's been affecting a number of individuals. i recognize that my platform in this community is bare-bones, at best. i do not have the influence nor the fanbase to make waves to the degree that others can. but i have a platform nonetheless, a voice, and so i am compelled to use it.
i love this community. at least, what i've seen of it. i can't bear to watch misinformation and clear bias from unfair power dynamic tear apart what is meant to be a close knit and welcoming fandom. i firmly believe that all parties involved are culpable to a degree, but there is a clear side that i don't believe anyone with common sense should be taking.
so, all that being said, i want to make this very clear:
don't take everything you see, especially without solid proof, as fact.
when someone comes online and pretends their hurtful, problematic actions are arbitrary and can be swept under the rug because of their clout, popularity, mental state, or any other defining factors that don't negate the harm they have caused - make sure you have listened to all sides of the story before you speak out in defense of them.
some of you may recognize the specific situation i'm speaking about right now. some of you may even have your hackles raised, ready to jump me for speaking out about this against your supposed 'people's princess'. i want you to know that i stand behind every syllable of what i am saying, and the evidence i have been shown is undeniable. if you see it too - and chances are, you will - you won't be able to deny it either. i know where i stand here.
i do not condone any of the behaviors exhibited by this person, nor do i support those who try to defend them after knowing what they have done.
"but TK, what does that have to do with you stepping away from roleplaying?"
the person in question, who i won't mention by name until the full situation has been aired out publicly, has sent me asks. multiple. long ones. creepy, parasocial ones. do not misread me: i'm more than happy to be interacting with people who enjoy nulla and his character as much as i do, and i delight in seeing people who are passionate about their love for nulla.
however, i recognized this person immediately, and the content of their asks alongside the nature of their behavior that i was already aware of made me extremely uncomfortable. i do not have any desire or business interacting with this person or anyone who is aware of the gravity of their actions and condones them anyway. i refuse to use nulla as a conduit to ease their guilty conscience and make them feel better about receiving the consequences of their actions, for once.
and so, due to the volume of asks i've received from them and the looming threat that i may receive more (or, god forbid, that some of my current asks are from them), i am taking a break from roleplay for now: at least, until this situation has been publicized.
and, because i know that this person is somewhat likely to see this, let me say my piece upfront so there's absolutely no mistake about how i feel about you interacting with me, especially to the extent that you have:
i will not sit here and pretend like i don't recognize you, or that i don't know the things you have done to others in this community. i do not care who you are or how many spineless sheep enable you. you, very simply, abhor me. no matter your age or your circumstances, your actions and how you have been behaving without a single modicum of remorse is vile and disgusting.
i want nothing to do with you and i refuse to associate myself or this blog's nulla portrayal with you. i will not be another person to enable you, and neither will my roleplay. you can sob and post and wail about how attacked and hurt you feel from finally being forced to confront the consequences of your actions, but sitting behind your keyboard and crying about how you're being victimized by the recipients of your bigotry does not make you the victim, nor does it make you in the right.
in fact, until you actually mature and learn from the consequences of your actions (which i highly doubt you will, given your track record), i am in unwavering support of having you blacklisted from this community entirely. you have continuously proven yourself to be a blemish and a toxin in this fandom, and it would please me greatly to be rid of your downright repugnant behavior.
do not speak to me, send me asks, or even think to mention me in your little dossier of victim blaming, self-sympathizing, and purposeful exclusion of information. if you or any of your little lackeys send me anything or put out any of my or anyone else's information publicly, it will be documented and action will be taken. legal action, if i have to. i know your history.
i know exactly who you are and what you have done. there is stone cold evidence against you on file, and spreading misinformation to play the victim and gain sympathy that you do not deserve will result in the release of all of it. publicly.
tl;dr: don't take everything you see, especially without solid proof, as fact.
there are individuals given positions of power in this fandom, who are in support of some disgusting behavior that has been occurring in broad daylight - the details of which will be publicized soon.
keep an eye out and make sure you're taking every statement you see on the internet, especially without hard proof to support them, with a grain of salt.
that's really all i have to say on the matter until this all goes public. thank you for reading this far. i promise i will be back soon, once this entire situation has been resolved properly and my life begins to slow down again. i would appreciate your support in making sure that this statement is widespread, so that when the truth comes out, this community will be better equipped to handle it.
i want to apologize to those whose asks i haven't answered. i'm currently not in any position to devote the time, thoughtfulness, and care that i want to into answering all of your asks. but i'll be back in time, and this will not be the definite end of nullasvoid if i can help it.
thank you for your support. it really does mean the world. spread the word.
TK
the ispahan is an iconic french pastry created by legendary pastry chef pierre hermé. it features a signature flavor combination: rose, raspberry, and lychee. the classic version is a giant macaron filled with rose-petal cream, lychee compote, and fresh raspberries, topped with a rose petal. the nickname kiki is said to mean double happiness. my kiki is a virgo and cool in tone; she's almost all air.
head: as a perfume, you'd open startlingly luminous. the lotus head brings a watery, dewy floral quality, though not aquatic in a marine sense, but more reminiscent of a spill of petals floating serenely atop still water. it would be soft, faintly creamy, and meditative. the aldehydes alongside it immediately lift everything. depending on the style while formulating, aldehydes can smell close to the glitter of champagne bubbles, crisp linen drying in sunlight, or icy air. here, paired with lotus, i'd like to imagine very fine, silvery aldehydes rather than the waxy retro kind - assiting in providing the lotus with an illuminating spirit instead of a drowsy one.
heart: as you settle, hyacinth arrives. hyacinth is one of the greenest floral notes; it has a fresh-cut stem sense with a damp earthiness underneath. it smells akin to walking through a flower shop while the buckets are still full of water. it keeps the fragrance from becoming overly "pretty." then an underscore of iris—NOT sugary violet makeup-powder iris—cool, rooty iris. the scent of iris comes from the root of the plant itself, not the flower. felt-like texture and a whisper of gentleness that leans expensive rather than synthetic.
body: an incredible sheer finish. neroli, bright white blossoms with a slight citrus kiss and just enough of a bitter snap to keep it all clean. the ozonic notes sprinkled in would again not smell like the ocean so much as open sky after a tempest: cool, crisp air, clean fabric fluttering on the sill, mist suspended above a lake.
pearl white, pale celadon, dove gray, frosted blue, soft silver. giselle ballet but the akram khan version, botanical conservatories, water gardens, handwritten notes on cotton parchment, the pictures your sister specifically took two years out from being pregnant, swiss-italian border, frosted glass in the foyer of homes, white orchids growing through stone, metalwork, marble under your bare feet, cage crinoline, echo of a voice within a cathedral, eros & psyche.
anna and i have known each other for so long. she's a slow melt, a warm laugh dripping all over you. i adore her, and her work and her friendship have carried me through so much. the name anna means grace or favor. as a perfume, she'd be as rich and sensual as she is in life.
head: you're a simple open, a mimicry of dark chocolate, but it isn't sugary here. imagine a zest closer to 70–80% cacao: bittersweet, earthy, almost dusty, with a faint roasted quality. you create instant depth without turning the fragrance into a dessert. you never show your full hand all at once.
heart: into the thick of it, we find hibiscus beginning to bloom. hibiscus isn't commonly extracted naturally for perfumery, so we tend to evoke the idea of the flower instead - playing slightly tart, crimson, fruity-floral. juicy red quality, amber wrapping around both notes, smoothing their edges. a modern amber that's resinous and glowing rather than smoky; golden light on dark wood.
body: you come alive here. fig nectar adds soul. i don't want to work with the green, leafy side of fig, but the fruit split open at peak ripeness: milky, honeyed, pulpy & creamy - bridging the chocolate top beautifully because both share a subterranean richness. a touch of cinnamon to introduce warmth without making you a holiday; dry, woody spice, not a cinnamon roll. night-blooming jasmine unfurls to close it all out: indolic, humid, sweltering, giving the fragrance its almost mesmeric quality.
velvet pulled over a lamp, rimmel's lasting finish matte lipstick by kate moss, oxblood, aubergine, espresso, plum, forest green, garnet, antique gold, the renaissance era, ceramic cookware, eating out late in the evening, foxtrot, the exact transition period between autumn and winter, tchaikovsky, gunslinger, westerns, watercolor-inspired video game concepts, a lighter you don't use for anything other than to stimulate the hands, returning to your homeland, the way a sunset can lend a halo to the back of one's head, a secret whispered into a sweat-wet neck, sleeping in fetal position.
my playful peach. peach is a movement, a way of life; full body-laugh, a fun flirt, catching your lip between your teeth. bright bright bright georgia peach. best girl in the world.
head: oh, you're a star. bright open with pink pepper, which, despite its name, isn't particularly spicy. it sparkles in a sense, has a rosy, near citrusy effervescence that feels like opening a bottle of prosecco. it gives you energy rather than heat. then your heart appears.
heart: wild orchid, baby - more fantasy than reality in perfumery. unlike the rose or jasmines of the world, orchids don't naturally have one universally recognizable scent, so we use "orchid" to evoke an impression like we do hibiscus: silky-tropical sweetness, creamy creamy creamy - oh, dash of whipped cream to shake the mood. this isn't bakery whipped; imagine something airy: vanilla cream folded until it's almost weightless. sister to mousse than frosting; softens the orchid without burying it.
body: you finish in a wave of raspberry bloom. bloom, not fruit. we're borrowing from both the raspberry and the blossom. juicy pink berries rolling alongside delicate white blossoms. you're sweeter than hibiscus but fresher than jam. we keep you close, fending off any chance of detonating a sugar bomb.
youngest of the family, impulse buys, no calls but no texts - voice memos, frosè, laughing so hard you snort, strawberries at a farmers' market, satin ballet flats tossed on the floor, the first warm saturday ever in april, spring-into-summer, the rosary tree at the loretto chapel in santa fe new mexico, twenty tabs open, living at full speed, lemon meringue pie, sleeping on a hotel balcony, sharp sharp ash-blonde bob, feminine but not juvenile not precious, open palm slap, raspberry pink, warm yellow-ivory, soft coral, black streak.
so helpful all the time, but also such a soft, centered energy. perfect balance with a wide fun streak. a secret of a woman you have to get past to find the treasure. perfect & so integral; i miss you the minute you're gone.
head: tuberose is a note with the reputation of being loud and almost narcotic, but in the right composition it's unbelievably slick. it's just gorgeous, and it smells like a garden sitting warm in the incessant beat of the august afternoon sun. you're succulent, buttery, and just a little dangerous. we don't push.
heart: unexpected. lily-of-the-valley cutting through all that richness. it's one of the freshest white florals in perfumery: green, crystalline, almost bell-like. i'm biased because it's one of my favorites. we introduce cool air into you, breaking through what could have become an overwhelmingly opulent scent. then coconut milk seeds through. we don't want toasted coconut, or that sunscreen scream. we want milk; such an important distinction. you smell smooth, almost steamed, with a subtle lactonic simmer that clings to the tuberose like a lover gone fearful. velvet push, careful of going sharp.
body: you give us snow. obviously snow doesn't have a smell, but it's often interpreted as chilled musk, transparent aldehydes, airy blonde wood, mineral notes; the sensation of cold rather than a literal scent. the snow keeps all other notes suspended in thin air. finally, turkish red rose blooms - deep, jammy, crimson rose with a kick of spice and honey crush. a single red flower growing out of an otherwise white landscape; you've learned to endure, return.
tibetan mountains, ghost stories, the blinding effect of moonlight against a blizzard or turning on your highbeams during snowfall, warm milk before bed, sleeping through a storm, contradictory, hard line, deeply romantic, greenhouse in winter, cashmere sweater, antique fireplace, lace curtains, the brand doen, victorian flatware, four-poster bed of dark wood, winter wedding, mother of pearl, old botanical illustrations, art deco, the year before the 1920s exploded into depression, stark white, circus life, dogwood pink, sage, midnight blue, baby blue, violet, lilac, scarlet, dipsomaniac, blue hour.
i once told niyah she is a forest fire in the best way: destructive only to what can't last, clearing space for something truer, more aligned to her. a phoenix, too, rising again and again. so clever it catches me off guard. she takes life by the throat and insists on living it, even when it resists, even when it pushes back. still true. i love you, glad i get to.
head: an oud welcome (another hard favorite), but don't think aggressively medicinal or barnyard. a smooth sweep, wood polished over time, slightly smoky, with hints of leather and resin. you're immediately grounding.
heart: a surprise, but never a second thought. tiaré: solar, buttery, usually conjures beaches and monoi oil. but she's sitting next to oud and they hold hands and she's losing her vacation feel. instead, she becomes exotic in the oldest sense of the word: lush, plush, soporific. tonka bean, vanilla's middle sibling. almond, hay, tobacco, caramel, and warm spice woven together. comfort without ever becoming commodified. softens all else, gives a skin-like warmth.
body: a conceptual black rose; dark dried petals, faintly fruity, faintly spicy, essence of wine. cashmere isn't really a smell, but a texture. here we often mean it as tepid musk, summer woods, and an enveloping suede finish.
billie holiday, nina simone, dark cherry wood cabinets, the artist-muse relationship of liv ullmann and ingmar bergman, persona (1966), authentic persian rugs, brass lamps, thick knitwear, cotton sheets, boutique hotels, paris in early-middle october/late november, fingerprints smeared over aureate heirlooms, california traffic, "i'll call you back", nothing feels too precious to use, iberian lynx, wolves' eyes like silver dollars in the dark, border between nightmare and dream, the crackle of a record player, tattoo on the inner wrists, "it didn't really hurt all that much" (liar), espresso brown, deep deep mahogany, amethyst, slate blue, yale blue, raven black.
my ella, sweet ella. "other" (germanic), "goddess" (hebrew), and "torch" (english/greek). you're so enigmatic; always in and out in the best way. no pressure, but self-assured. something ephemeral, but the touch lasts, the memory of you never fades. brilliant.
head: raspberry, but darker. crushed raspberries staining fingertips, rather than fresh berries in a market basket. tart at first taste, then rich, intoxicating. beside it is licorice, a change in personality. licorice in fragrance has anise facets: cool, herbal, sweet, faintly medicinal, and a little mysterious. it makes people tilt their heads because they can't quite place you. together, they're addictive. dulcet, obscure. you're addictive, a lempicka painting.
heart: vanilla pulls you out, takes your hand. you're no cupcake vanilla, but clotted, glossy vanilla. we want to indulge, want to eat you right up. sanding the licorice bite without erasing it. labdanum follows; masterstroke. labdanum cousin to amber, sun-baked, leather lip under the jaw, dried fruit, and honey. a "shadow", incredible depth.
body: you're a violet close. shy of powdery/waxy lipstick, shy of candied; after rain. a little green, a little melancholic. tender exhale into something mellow, quiet. blackberry burst before the fade.
the dark of the theater as the curtain has yet to rise - light behind it, fresh ink, stained glass, the inside of a jewelry box, twilight, vanilla and apple tea in a mug with a chip on the handle, purple bruise blooming on the skin (love bite), smoke of a candle after the blowout, dry humor, books stacked on the floor, marginalia, ribbon bookmark, silver rings, black cherry (color), smoke plum, lavender, ash grey, azure, aqua, indigo, kiss on the forehead, never let you go.
this was very, very fun. i put part one because i just i have too many ideas (i already have a second post with @graybuckets & @pearlydollsworld at the helm), but if you'd like to request one, slide into my inbox or messages. love you. x
ahh…isie is a cry…i feel like i’ve been trying to be warm for so long, since the earth is inviting the sun in more and more. i forget i am water too (pisces rising), arguably more so; i’m not supposed to be just the one thing, and at my center i am still an autumn baby.
the note about white orchids from stone made me almost tear up again; the lotus is my favorite flower, and i say it’s actually pink tulips for simplicity, but i’ve always felt connected to white orchids because i grew up surrounded by them in my mother’s home. it makes my heart ache that it’s been noticed before it’s been spoken.
this made me so so happy, especially that i was in your mind when you wrote this. ally you are such a gem, perfect cut quartz, and i have endless love for you in everything i am🤍
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