Stranger Things

titsay
Game of Thrones Daily

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Discoholic 🪩
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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NASA
Three Goblin Art
noise dept.
KIROKAZE
DEAR READER

shark vs the universe
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
Xuebing Du

ellievsbear

★

Kiana Khansmith

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@islandsurfer13
The purest form of love is consideration. When someone thinks about how things would make you feel. Pays attention to detail. Holds you in regard when making decisions that could affect you. In any bond, how much they care about you can be found in how much they consider you
Curious puppy
“His love hadn’t been a thunderbolt from the sky. It had started with a smile, a word, a teasing glance. Every second he had spent in her presence it had grown, until he’d reached this moment, and he suddenly knew.”
Romancing Mister Bridgerton, Julia Quinn
"if you are over 30 on Tumblr the mental illness won" "the aging fanbase of Tumblr" motherfucker if you are over 30 and have been here the entire time it means the mental illness didn't win we are still alive WE MADE IT
"How can platonic BDSM be a thing". It's whatever Sam Reich is doing to his friends on Game Changer actually.
Wait are we called mammals after mammary glands? Are mammals named after tits???
ARE WE THE BOOBS CLASS?
We are. And we also named our galaxy after boob juice. Twice.
"milky way" is obviously milk, but the hidden part is that "galaxy" comes from the Greek γάλα (gála), meaning "milk".
It's the tit-goo path tit-goo-thing. We are very, very breast focused as a species.
Eukaryote (good-kernels) as opposed to prokaryotes(before-kernels). We are the Domain of Fortunate Cellular Nuclei.
Animalia (of the anima.) we are in the Kingdom of the Breathing, or the Air-Souled.
Of the Phylum (tribe or clan) Chordata (having a string). We are the Clan of the String, referencing the spinal cord.
Class Mammalia, of course. the division of the titties.
Order Primate, which is a bit stuck-up, but I suppose the people doing the naming get to pick. Primate is of course primary, or First/Highest. Interestingly, this is in the sense of it being a job; a primate is a bishop of Christianity. This is reflected in the medieval Scala Naturae, where “primate” is an office held by the “natural” or divinely appointed top being in each tier of existence. Seraphim are the primate angels; humans are the primate people; lions are the primate animals; oak trees are the primate plants; and diamonds are the primate minerals. Translating the intent here, we are the Order of Ordained Authority, which we share with other natural bosses such as lemurs.
Depending how you want to do this, we are also suborder Haplorhini, the dry-nosed. This is separated from wet-nosed apes.
After this we land in the repetition of Homina-homina-homina-homina where there are several classes that drill down ever further, all of them rooted in “hominid.” Everyone knows homo is “man, human” but the root of why it’s “man” is because it is first “earth”. Human means “earthling”, and is rooted in “not-divine.” We are the family, subfamily, tribe and genus of earthlings.
By the time you get to species we are very lonely indeed, with only one species in our genus. This is actually a terrifically lonely place, and in this we are “sapiens.” This doesn’t mean just “wise” but “being wise,” which is more of a duty than a descriptor.
When you put it in context: Domain of Fortunate Nuclei, Kingdom of the Air-Souled, Clan of the String, Class of Milky Boobs, Order of the Bosses, Family of Earthlings, Tribe of Earthlings, People of Earth, Earthlings, Thinking Earthlings.
The point of taxonomy does seem to be making oneself a box that excludes all others in order to feel properly lonely and alone in it; one’s place in the world defined until one is alone. however, zooming out a bit, it does make for some stirring company.
pirates of the caribbean really introduced an eldritch octopus man who kills indiscriminately and torments the dead as their poster villain and then you watch the movies and it's like, "oh no, actually the worst villain in this series is a small white british man who functions as the herald of capitalism" and that was very very brave of them
#here is a man so heartless he has literally cut his own heart out of his chest #but he's still not as evil as the fucking east india trading company
Is this the same peanut butter Jorts I'm thinking of?
I found this youtube comment and honestly,,,, true
Underworld Duet
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“She will follow you, if you remain true to your purpose,” Persephone said, icy and beautiful, with asphodel in her hair, and embroidered on her dress. She sat beside her husband, Hades, and looked down on Orpheus, her face utterly unreadable, “But if you cast a single gaze upon her before she leaves the Underworld, she will be lost to you until time ends.”
“Thank you,” Orpheus said, desperately grateful. His fingertips ached, blistered and bleeding as he played his plea to the gods who had no reason to give him what he requested of them. The return of his beloved wife, who had fled for her life, and lost it trying to escape. “Your Majesties, thank you. I will write a thousand songs in your honor.”
“You had best go,” Hades said, the first words he had spoken since Orpheus arrived. “The journey is long, and fraught with danger. It will not be easy.”
Orpheus took the dismissal for what it was, bowed again, and made his way out of the grand, dark, pillar-lined hall. Here and there, flowers sprouted up through cracks in the stone, the mark of the queen who was only here half the year, and must be dearly missed when she was gone.
Maybe his plea, and the mercy he received in return, made more sense than he thought. Surely there were none who understood the longing for a beloved spouse better than the king and queen of the underworld.
Hades’ warning struck him, and Orpheus fought with himself, with the urge to look back and make sure Eurydice was there, following behind him. The gods were fond of their tricks and traps, but they rarely lied outright.
Well, he hoped they didn’t, anyway.
On and on he went, out of the grand, black-stone palace, into the sprawling, twilight orchards beyond. It was beautiful and peaceful. Sprawling gardens filled the warm air with the scent of citrus flowers and herbs. Fireflies winked their green-gold lights everywhere, and danced in clouds around the hazy ghosts who walked and laughed together. Off in the distance, he heard music and longed to join.
But no. He was here with a goal, and everything here would tempt him, or frighten him, or try to distract him from his purpose.
And he had to have faith in Euridice. She was behind him. Persephone said she would be, and he could only trust, because to look back for her would be to lose her.
When they came to the River Lethe, Orpheus began to fear. After all, the River of Forgetfulness was no small challenge, and he wasn’t fool enough to think that it would not test him, although he would, at least, not have to ford it. There was a bridge, although it was not what Orpheus might call ideal. A rickety thing of woven branches and rough wood, it cracked under his feet, but it held.
It wasn’t until he made it across, that Orpheus heard a faint sound. The sound of a foot on the bridge, barely there, as if from far away, but only a step behind him.
That sound, that faint sound, gave him hope. Euridice was there. She was with him. The gods had not lied, or broken their bargain.
It also gave him an idea.
Music had gotten him this far. Perhaps it would take them just a few steps further.
His fingers ere too damaged to keep playing, but there was nothing wrong with his voice, and so, hopefully, he started on a song he wrote long ago, when he first fell in love with his wife, and heard her lovely voice.
It was a song for two, and he would be lying if he didn’t admit how frightened he was, how his heart caught, when he came to the end of his verse, and hers began.
For a heartbeat, a single heartbeat, he thought she would not, could not reply, but then her sweet, warm alto filled the air, a little tense, a little afraid, but as true as ever.
Orpheus would have wept at the sound.
The song wasn’t a long one, but he started another as soon as it ended, and another, and another. Together, they sang their way through Tartarus. Through the tortured, evil dead who howled around them and tried to drag him off the narrow path that sometimes faded to almost nothing under his feet. The gods had not told him what had happened if he left the path, but then, they didn’t have to. He knew the legends of those who left the path.
The path turn back to a road until the sky light with flame and they came to another river, this one deep, and angry, and blazing with fire.
The River Phlegethon. The river if fire, that bordered Tartarus, and imprisoned the lost souls within.
Orpheus was glad that Euridice had started them on battle songs of coming home almost an hour before, or his courage, shaken form hours of walking through the tortured dead, might have failed him. The bridge here was stone, but as fragile, as frail, and as frightening. Pebbles rolled off the sides when Orpheus stepped onto the thin stone, and his voice broke as he stumbled to his knees. In harmony with him, Euridice gasped, but she didn’t stop singing. Didn’t stop promising she was there.
Together, they made it across, into the slums of the undistinguished dead.
Here, they were followed, although not closely. The dead could not touch them. Not marked as they were by Cause under the authority of the queen herself, but they gathered near, listening to the songs, and whispering amongst themselves. Orpheus raised his voice louder, afraid to lose Euridice in the crowd. She answered him, strong and clear, and only a step behind him, always.
After what seems like hours more, Orpheus found his voice beginning to give out, but he sang on determinedly, unwilling to give up when victory was so close to hand.
At last, finally, they came to the last river in their journey.
So wide he could not see the other side, the Styx spread out like an ocean, and on the shore, the sandy shore, was a single boat.
“I wondered if you would make it back this way,” Chiron greeted Orpheus with a cackling laugh that was mostly hidden by his thick beard and hood. He had ferried Orpheus across only a day before, paid with one of the three gold coins Orpheus brought with him. “The ferry is not free, Bard.”
“I know,” Orpheus said hoarsely, his first spoken words since he left the palace. He dug in his purse and pulled out the coins he kept, carefully packed with the thinnest hope, and how proffered with more of the same. “A coin for each of us, to see us back to the land of the living.”
“Nice to see one of you heroes has the sense to pack for the trip,” Chiron said, begrudgingly impressed. He took the coins and nodded to the boat. “You’re not out, yet.”
“I know,” Orpheus agreed. It was a warning, he knew. They weren’t out, and until they were, he did not dare look back. Could not make sure that Eurydice made it into the boat as well. “Thank you, Ferryman.”
“Get in the boat, boy.”
He got in the boat.
On through the unmarked grey waters they sailed, with barely the lap of waves against the side of the narrow boat to show their passing.
With nothing to do but wait, Orpheus cast his mind over the many sailing songs he knew, chose Eurydice’s favorite, another duet, and started to sing.
Chiron’s laughter punctuated Eurydice’s voice when she joined. In, on time and on key as ever.
Hours passed, as they passed songs back and forth, flirting and joking as they sang silly songs, and bawdy ones, and ones of coming home after a long time at sea.
Through it all, the Ferryman behind him never stopped chuckling. It might have been frightening, but Orpheus thought that maybe it was a compliment too. That his laughter was in celebration of cleverness that rarely crossed his path.
When they came to the far shore, the boat nudged into the sand, and Orpheus caught himself, right before he looked back to thank Chiron for his service.
“You paid me, boy,” the Ferryman said from somewhere behind him. “don’t spoil it with thanks. Go on.”
Orpheus went.
The air was fresher, here. They were close, and now the songs shifted to those of love newly discovered. Not all were duets, but any song would be sung in harmony, and so they tangled their voices together and kept walking.
It wasn’t until Orpheus felt sunlight on his face that he realized, he was out. Out of the Underworld and back where he started this daring, foolish, hopeful journey.
He went to turn, but Euridice’s voice raised sharply, and she cut her loving song off for one of warning, a song for children, to teach them not to trust all they saw.
And Orpheus remembered.
The game was not done. Not until she took her final step into the weak, late winter sunshine.
So he kept walking. Kept singing. Kept hoping.
Until at last, the song faded, and a voice he mourned for, as hoarse as his own, spoke from just behind him.
“We’ll have to write a duet about this.”
And all Orpheus could do was laugh as he turned around, at last, to see his wife standing there, just a single step out of the Underworld, and smiling with tears of joy in her eyes.
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More Stories!
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ok listen you've all gotta stop with the "39 year old milf who doesn't know what pokemon is" memes I am 39 and I put like 1000 hours into Pokemon Red when that shit first came out. us 39 year old milfs are in the exact demographic for this come on. rethink your milf fantasy. break out of the box. a 39 year old milf isn't saying "what is charmander" she is telling you in great detail about the team she beat the elite four with.
#your average 39-year-old milf can recite the pokérap from memory
"would it kill a Victorian child" is out. "Would it send Brennan Lee Mulligan into a tailspin" is in
speculative fiction writers i am going to give you a really urgent piece of advice: don't say numbers. don't give your readers any numbers. how heavy is the sword? lots. how old is that city? plenty. how big is the fort? massive. how fast is the spaceship? not very, it's secondhand.
the minute you say a number your readers can check your math and you cannot do math better than your most autistic critic. i guarantee. don't let your readers do any math. when did something happen? awhile ago. how many bullets can that gun fire? trick question, it shoots lasers, and it shoots em HARD.
you are lying to people for fun. if you let them do math at you the lie collapses and it's no fun anymore.
YOU GET IT
[ID: a screenshot of Tumblr tags from @/thepioden that read, "#you may think you - the writer - are your own most autistic critic #but somewhere out there is a motherfucker with the world's nichest PhD who has been waiting their whole life to prove you wrong". End ID.]
i think r/BenignExistence is my favorite subreddit 🥲 i love these pleasant little glimpses into strangers' lives
I'm not saying that 84% of the Critical Role fanart I've made in the last few years is Aeor, but I'm also not saying it isn't exactly that. So getting the opportunity to paint canon pre-Calamity Aeor might be my new favorite thing.
Second floor hallway of the Haus at 2am
Pokemon headcanon that once Absol are studied and people realize they prevent disasters instead of causing them, particularly dangerous workplaces get themselves a workplace Absol and it also decreases accidents.
Construction sites and fishing ships and factories will have one that pretty much just lazes about until it just gets up howling one day and knocks a dude down. They almost never figure out what would have happened but they're always like "yes absol thank you absol I am so grateful to be on the floor right now. Can I offer you a treat in this trying time"
Diversity win! Absol is OSHA Compliant!
@osha-official-the-sequel
@bedrock-to-buildheight I thought about your Pokémon au when I saw this today
I legally must add them. For safety