Q. what is the difference between monkshood and wolfsbane ? A. they are the same plant which also goes by the name of aconite.
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@islesolated-blog
Q. what is the difference between monkshood and wolfsbane ? A. they are the same plant which also goes by the name of aconite.
idk what’s worse - my untagged edits somehow getting found & reblogged, or personals reblogging my promo/s, even though it’s clearly a promo 🤔
come on you poor unfortunate soul ; go ahead, make your choice. i’m a very busy woman & i haven’t got all day. it won’t cost much - just your voice ! you poor unfortunate soul ; it’s sad but true. if you want to cross the bridge, my sweet, you’ve got the pay the toll !
I hope you have a great day & remember to smile! You're a wonderful person and a wonderful writer and you deserve nothing but good things.
it’s 11:15pm here but that doesn’t negate how sweet & unexpected this message is !!! thank you so much, darling — you’re a gem even for taking the time to send this in. i’ll absolutely keep it in mind for tomorrow , & i hope your day is just as swell !!!
uma’s ( eventual ) auradon homecoming dress is . . . slightly more understated than her cotillion dress
#like captain like first mate
im a power couple with myself. i love us. we work hard
[text]: how drunk was i last night?
RECEIVED MESSAGE FROM mal bertha 👿. ▻ OPEN. DELETE.
[ ✉ TEXT : IMESSAGE » mal bertha 👿. ] if you’re asking me, you must have been really wasted[ ✉ TEXT : IMESSAGE » mal bertha 👿. ] i don’t remember anything past eight pm[ ✉ TEXT : IMESSAGE » mal bertha 👿. ] note to self : keep the absinthe shots for later in the evening if u wanna remember anything
meme › accepting !
❛ She wears strength and 𝙳𝙰𝚁𝙺𝙽𝙴𝚂𝚂 equally well, the girl has always been half goddess, half 𝙷𝙴𝙻𝙻. ❜ IND. PRIV & SEL // MAL BERTHA FROM DISNEY’S DESCENDANTS.
promo made by FISHBAIT ! !
TEXT MESSAGE STARTERS ! Send one of the prompts below to get a response from my muse.
drunk texts:
( ✉ → sms ) plea se eh elep me im drunk and i dotn know whe re i am
( ✉ → sms ) i fukcing miss yo u
( ✉ → sms ) i look so fuckigjn GOOD
( ✉ → sms ) i csnst stop throwiging up
( ✉ → sms ) fu ck you for hurting me
( ✉ → sms ) why dotn you ever call me anymore huh
( ✉ → sms ) stop being so fuckigjn borign and coekm to my party
( ✉ → sms ) i dropped my pzziza o nt eh floror im fuckgin pissed
( ✉ → sms ) i j sut left you a 3 mintue long voicemail singing. sorry
( ✉ → sms ) even when i’m durnk ic ant sotp thinking about oyu
hateful texts:
( ✉ → sms ) you’re pathetic
( ✉ → sms ) you make me miserable
( ✉ → sms ) fuck you. delete my number.
( ✉ → sms ) you never meant anything to me, anyway.
( ✉ → sms ) fuck your apologies, you can keep them.
( ✉ → sms ) congrats on always ruining everything
( ✉ → sms ) my life would be so much easier without you.
( ✉ → sms ) and next time you feel like calling me… don’t.
( ✉ → sms ) i don’t want anything to do with you anymore.
( ✉ → sms ) if your goal was to make me hate you, then congratulations. mission accomplished.
misc/random texts:
( ✉ → sms ) i think my neighbor is an alien.
( ✉ → sms ) help me think of a name for my new dog
( ✉ → sms ) sooooo… what was your first impression of me
( ✉ → sms ) should i get pizza or chicken wings for dinner?
( ✉ → sms ) no one’s ever made me feel the way you do.
( ✉ → sms ) i borrowed your weed. hope you don’t mind.
( ✉ → sms ) why do they say drugs are bad when they make you feel so good
( ✉ → sms ) today is the oldest you’ve ever been, but the youngest you’ll ever be again…
( ✉ → sms ) [ File Attached: 001329.jpg ] of all the drunk pictures i have of you, this one is my favorite.
( ✉ → sms ) i used your pics to catfish someone, and since they bought me a laptop… you have a date with them tomorrow.
Text Prompts;
[text]: call or text me back please. i’m getting worried.
[text]: come round to mine and make me ;)
[text]: how drunk was i last night?
[text]: you were so wasted last night!
[text]: why do i have a stop sign in my living room?
[text]: i’m craving pizza…
[text]: wanna grab lunch and a movie?
[text]: i can’t tonight, tomorrow?
[text]: that cutie is here again. should i talk to them? i won’t know if they like me unless i talk to them…
[text]: i can literally feel my hair turning grey by the second… save me! PLEASE!
[text]: GUESS WHO HAS A DATE?!
[text]: batman or superman? you know, for science…
[text]: team cap or team iron man? our friendship rests on this…
[text]: any new book recommendations?
[text]: me. you. a bottle of vodka. my place. now.
[text]: i really need a friend right now
[text]: i can’t believe what i just overheard in the bathroom…
[text]: for the last time, stop fucking texting me
[text]: i’m sorry, who is this?
[text]: fuck off!!
[text]: wanna be my plus one to my exes wedding? and pretend to be in love with me?
[text]: i just wanted to say, i love you and i forgive you
[text]: we need to talk.
[text]: what time you getting home?
[text]: word on the street is you got laid last night. i need all the deets!
[text]: pretty please? with sugar on top!
[text]: you love me really!
[text]: i have never in my life been this angry. i can’t believe this has happened!
[text]: sorry to miss your call, what’s up?
[text]: i got fired! I GOT FUCKING FIRED! :(
[text]: my boss is giving me the eye…
[text]: pants are optional.
[text]: did you get the thing????
[text]: ??????
[text]: eww… the grossest thing ever just happened…
[text]: shit shit shit
[text]: asshole, much?
[text]: don’t need to be a dick about it
[text]: wait, what?
[text]: how did you get this number?
i just went from 75 memes to 31 so ,,, yay ? ngl i still want more t70s memes tho lmao
✰ * º ❛ that 70′s show sentence starters ❜
‘ you know what your problem is? i’m too good looking. ’ ‘ god, what did you have for breakfast this morning? carnation instant bitch? ’ ‘ oh, is this what we’re gonna do today, we’re gonna fight? ’ ‘ because you’re breaking up the band, yoko! ’ ‘ an apple? where’s my candy, you son of a bitch. ’ ‘ she told me she loves me and then i told her i loved cake… ’ ‘ how’d you’d like to own a little bit of my foot in your ass? ’ ‘ look, if i could run across the beach into my own arms, i would. ’ ‘ you know he never liked phones. he said he could hear voices in ‘em. ’ ‘ when my time comes, i wanna be buried facedown so that anyone who doesn’t like me can kiss my ass. ’ ‘ you know what your problem is? you’re really cute… so no one ever told you to shut your pie hole. ’ ‘ god, we are such the… perfect couple? ’ ‘ you’re cold? well damn, i can’t control the weather! ’ ‘ the gym, or as i like to call it, the institute of things i can’t do. ’ ‘ well, i’d like to help but… not as much as i’d like not to. ’ ‘ don’t put me in your fantasies. i don’t even like being in your real life. ’ ‘ i don’t like people. i like rock n’ roll, sex, and pizza – in that order. ’ ‘ i’m not loving anybody that i’m not legally required to. ’ ‘ and if somebody doesn’t tell me i’m cute in the next five minutes, i’m gonna scream! ’ ‘ don’t hate me because i’m beautiful. ’ ‘ i can’t count on much in this crazy world, but i can always count on you. ’ ‘ i’m going to go out, meet some boys and crush their hearts one by one. ’ ‘ where zen ends, ass kicking begins. ’ ‘ you guys are fighting like cats and whores. ’ ‘ cake is good, but you cannot have sex with cake. ’ ‘ well, my head says no, but my heart says no. ’ ‘ the three true branches of the government are military, corporate, and hollywood. ’ ‘ hey man, if you don’t get caught, everything’s legal. ’ ‘ yeah, but god didn’t see that. i was in my van, and he can’t see through lead. ’ ‘ college is for ugly girls who can’t get modeling contracts. ’ ‘ college is for women who don’t want to marry the first idiot they meet and squeeze out his bastard moron children. ’ ‘ i was never happy. i was just less pissed off. ’ ‘ sometimes when i’m alone, i just love to cuddle. ’ ‘ i have a definite opinion on this… i don’t care. ’ ‘ when he’s unhappy, i know our relationship is in good shape. ’ ‘ all right, sleep tight and don’t let the bedbugs put their foot in your ass. ’ ‘ that’s your brain trying to comprehend its own stupidity. ’ ‘ we have some breaking news: i’m toasted. ’ ‘ but i don’t want to go outside. there are people out there. ’ ‘ oh, please. i’m a hot-looking, smooth-talking, frisky-assed son of a bitch. ’ ‘ no, i’m not pouting. that would upset our routine. god knows i wouldn’t want to move in a new direction and accidentally slip in a puddle of fun or anything. ’ ‘ i’ve just decided being sad is a waste of my time. ’ ‘ he called me ugly on the inside and the outside. i’m sorry, but he’s just wrong about the outside part. ’ ‘ i don’t really cook much. i just plan on getting by on my looks. ’ ‘ no, no, no, you just don’t move on from me. i’m like alcohol. you need a twelve-step program to break my smell. ’ ‘ you know, being here under the stars, sitting on the grass makes me really glad i’m not poor. ’ ‘ the person i love the most is me! ’ ‘ i was voted most popular, best legs, and now godmother? what can’t i do? ’ ‘ why am i alone and all of you less attractive people are happy? ’ ‘ it’s better to have loved and loss than to be butt ugly. ’ ‘ okay, i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again: everyone loves me. ’ ‘ why get out of bed when you can read about people who got out of bed? ’ ‘ i got a lot of free time. i mainly use it to nap and cry. ’ ‘ i’ll just curl up in the fetal position and think about pancakes. ’ ‘ have you been in bed all day? ’ ‘ last night i only slept like… nine hours. ’ ‘ i pity you because you’re dumb. ’ ‘ responsible people don’t go around getting their nipples twisted. ’ ‘ they want to kill rock n’ roll because they know it makes us horny, man. ’ ‘ i would love car sex… or just sex… or just a car. ’ ‘ no, i don’t feel bad. i don’t feel anything. ’ ‘ man, think about it. we hold information that could crush the very heart and soul of one of our best friends… i live for days like this! ’ ‘ it’s like we’re too old to trick or treat and too young to die. ’ ‘ talking isn’t gonna help me, okay? what’s gonna help me is, like, drinking. ’ ‘ hey, yeah, that’s the worst idea i’ve ever heard! ’ ‘ i wish i was an octopus. ’ ‘ thanks, but i’ve gotta go to sleep because i have a big day of misery ahead of me. ’ ‘ life is too short to spend it with people who annoy you. ’ ‘ well, for your information, i’m already sorry i was ever born. ’ ‘ i don’t have a hickey. i was using a curling iron. ’ ‘ give me a reason why i shouldn’t set you on fire. ’ ‘ i’m a hottie, you’re a nottie. ’ ‘ prison is not an option for me, okay? i can’t pee in front of other people. ’ ‘ man, time really flies when you take two naps a day. ’ ‘ oh, no. now i have to act normal. ’ ‘ oh, i just remembered i can’t loan it to you on account of i hate you. ’ ‘ i’ve been diagnosed with a disease that makes me irresistible to women. ’ ‘ you know what the best thing god ever did was? boobs. ’ ‘ i’m like ketchup. i go good on everything! ’ ‘ when we were about to fool around and i said that i washed my hands, but i really just got done playing with like six dogs. ’ ‘ there’s a rabbit stuck in a tree and i want to return that rabbit to the wild so it can lay its eggs. ’ ‘ if this is about maturity then i want nothing to do with it. ’ ‘ a wedding without a trampoline? that’s crazy talk. ’ ‘ i don’t wanna blink ‘cause i’m afraid to miss even a second of your cuteness. ’ ‘ you seem normal around your family, but out in the real world, you’re kinda nuts. ’ ‘ i could get arrested. i could go to girl prison. this freakin’ rocks! ’ ‘ my parents are fighting all the time and they want me to choose sides, but i can’t because they’re both idiots. ’ ‘ why would sally sell seashells down by the seashore? i mean, that’s a terrible location for a seashell stand. ’ ‘ i’m not strong, but i know a lot of ways to destroy men emotionally. ’ ‘ i don’t have feelings for him. i just hate that bitch for making him happy. ’ ‘ i’m not jealous, i just want to pop that inflatable bitch and watch her fly around the room. ’ ‘ hello, it is me, the object of your desire. ’ ‘ i’m a beautiful girl with a shrill, demanding voice. i’m pretty hard to ignore. ’ ‘ a gold digger is what these idiots call a woman who knows that love eventually wears off, but money is forever. ’ ‘ you see, a more productive use of my time is revenge. ’ ‘ i cannot be held responsible for the things that come out of my mouth. ’ ‘ i don’t answer stupid questions. ’
soon the world will be ours.
@chinamcclain: wavy vibes 👗🌊
anyway guess who finally ,,, gave uma a theme asfjklksdd