Weed has helped me realize I have a drinking problem
Weed has helped me realize I have a drinking problem
All throughout my college years I (25 f)was very anti marijuana. I was a HUGE drinker. I spend most weekends so drunk I have very hazy memories of only some of them. The drinking threw all my emotions out of whack and did not help the fact I suffer from anxiety, bpd, depression, and ptsd. It made those emotions so amplified and ruined many days for me. I fully denied that drinking made me feel like absolute shit. I was the party girl, everyone saw me as fun and the life of the party. I never drank every day, I would consider myself more of a binge drinker. I can turn down alcohol, but once I set my mind to have one drink I have at least 10 to 15.
I started smoking weed a few months ago as some encouragement from friends of it being anxiety relieving. I only smoke on weekends but it has changed my life and I have had a drastic change in my mood and mental illness symptoms even throughout the week. I have been on heavy meds before that wrecked me, and weed was the only thing that worked. I haven't drank in months. I can control weed intake whereas I was unable to control alcohol. I'm not sure how but it is great. I just hit my vape a few times or smoke half a j and I am GREAT.
Last night I was at a bachelor party. It was at a steakhouse. I thought I could have one glass of wine. I haven't drank in some time. About halfway into dinner I saw all these half drank bottles on the table. Before I knew it I polished off at least 3 full bottles worth. I was absolutely gone.
Long story short, I lost my contacts, almost fell down the entrance steps, and cried the whole way to our next activity. I cried to my husband and I finally admitted for the FIRST time that I think I have a problem with binge drinking. My father has been an alcoholic his whole life and abused me for my entire childhood. I have that predisposition from him. We went back home and I cried for several hours while I made this connection to my drinking and my traumas of childhood. It was therapeutic in a way. I am going to stop drinking and work on that with my therapist. My husband is 100 percent supportive.
I see weed as my harm reduction. It keeps my massively difficult emotions in check and in small quantities I feel "normal" when I smoke. I haven't drank for months due to this, and it will aid me in my sobriety. I have set my mindset to "not even one drink". I know it will be hard, but it is so worth figuring out early in life that I have this issue and I need to stop.
I am thankful for this community, I have lurked for several months and have learned so much about this awesome plant that has helped me so very much. I will not be drinking today, but I will enjoy my half joint tonight with a clear mind. To those who struggle with the same thing I do, I hope you find peace today and avoid drink. I will be sober with you today. One day at a time friends ✌️
Submitted March 06, 2022 at 10:18AM by luckylooch13
via reddit