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@isosceles-agency
𝙱𝚛𝚘𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚌𝚔 𝙰𝚐𝚎𝚗𝚌𝚢: 𝙿𝚛𝚒𝚟𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝙸𝚗𝚟𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚐𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚂𝚎𝚛𝚟𝚒𝚌𝚎𝚜…
———
A detective-turned-supervillain, on the case...
———
OC RP & ASK BLOG.
Non-Canon Compliant.
Anyone May Interact.
Spoiler Warning For My Upcoming Book Series.
Takes Place Between TOISOF and TOIFTD.
Characters: Sir Isosceles, Mordecai, Jericho, Cagliostro, & Ventriloquist.
———
The Isosceles Agency. — BOOK INFORMATION
———
HEY. Can triangle man adopt me.
“I am not your mother. Find someone else to parent you.”
HOLLOW. They are all so hollow. The source of their gluttony. Eating, until overbloated. They were trying to fill the hole. Opportunistic predators. Afraid. Selfish. I will be rid of the corpses. I will smile as they STARVE. With nothing to feast upon.
Tell me about it... People are the worst kind of parasite.
Can I pet the kitty cat?
-Hermes
“If you wish to lose a hand. Ca'Gouski is not a pet.”
*Hermes frowns* “really? Not even a little pet behind the ears?”
“Ca'Gouski will not stand for such humiliation. Humans are filthy, pathetic things. Ca'Gouski does not know where it has been.”
“Aw. Okay then I just had to ask though! You look so cool” *Hermes moves back a bit*
The cat tilted his wooden head.
“Of course he does. Ca'Gouski is an elder god.”
“Yes sir. Very powerful you are kitty cat.”
“Ca'Gouski.”
The cat glared.
“Ah Ca’Gouski…I’m sorry” *Hermes sits down on his hands so he is not tempted to pet the cat.*
“Mh, yes. You should be, mortal.”
*Hermes chuckles a bit* “yes yes. You are very correct…kitty cat.”
The cat stood, walking around the man in a circle, looking at him judgmentally.
“What are you trying to do? What does it want from Ca'Gouski?”
“I don’t want anything! Just here to have fun with the amazing Ca’Gouski!”
“Ca'Gouski does not like this human. It is needy.”
*Hermes rolls all of his eyes playfully* “I’m sorry you feel that way
“It is flippant. It does not take Ca'Gouski seriously.”
“Don’t take it to heart. I don’t take most things seriously.”
“It will take Ca'Gouski seriously.”
“Yeah? Okay I’ll try my best don’t worry.”
“No ‘best’. It will. Ca'Gouski commands respect.”
*Hermes chuckles a bit* “I’m so sorry! I can’t get passed the cat look!”
The cat’s tail morphed into a fist that launched itself at Hermes face. Punching him with force.
“It is not funny. It is annoying. It will treat Ca'Gouski properly.”
Can I pet the kitty cat?
-Hermes
“If you wish to lose a hand. Ca'Gouski is not a pet.”
*Hermes frowns* “really? Not even a little pet behind the ears?”
“Ca'Gouski will not stand for such humiliation. Humans are filthy, pathetic things. Ca'Gouski does not know where it has been.”
“Aw. Okay then I just had to ask though! You look so cool” *Hermes moves back a bit*
The cat tilted his wooden head.
“Of course he does. Ca'Gouski is an elder god.”
“Yes sir. Very powerful you are kitty cat.”
“Ca'Gouski.”
The cat glared.
“Ah Ca’Gouski…I’m sorry” *Hermes sits down on his hands so he is not tempted to pet the cat.*
“Mh, yes. You should be, mortal.”
*Hermes chuckles a bit* “yes yes. You are very correct…kitty cat.”
The cat stood, walking around the man in a circle, looking at him judgmentally.
“What are you trying to do? What does it want from Ca'Gouski?”
“I don’t want anything! Just here to have fun with the amazing Ca’Gouski!”
“Ca'Gouski does not like this human. It is needy.”
*Hermes rolls all of his eyes playfully* “I’m sorry you feel that way
“It is flippant. It does not take Ca'Gouski seriously.”
“Don’t take it to heart. I don’t take most things seriously.”
“It will take Ca'Gouski seriously.”
“Yeah? Okay I’ll try my best don’t worry.”
“No ‘best’. It will. Ca'Gouski commands respect.”
There was a crash and the sound of hissing and scratching from the other room.
...
Annoyance flares. If that damned cat broke something-
Ca'Gouski stood in the center of the room, scratching the hummingbird Jonathan was gifted with vigor.
He stops dead in his tracks, silent.
After a long moment, static filled the room as he doubled over laughing. It hurt to laugh. He really had to stop, especially since the laughter was for no one's benefit. But the laughter continued. The static intensified. Jonathan reached out, having to steady himself on the doorframe.
The cat paused, looking up at the man with slitted eyes and a tilted head.
His shoulders are still shaking long after the static has cut out. Long after the sound has been replaced with silence. He reaches up, pressing his hand to his eyes in an attempt to recollect himself.
𝐘𝐨𝐮- 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐝𝐢𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭?
“Up. In the closet. Ca'Gouski had to climb.”
He picked up the hummingbird with a defensive posture.
𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐨𝐝𝐝.
He thought that he had gotten rid of that...
No. He wouldn't have. Jeremiah would have thrown a fit that he wasn't too keen on dealing with. Though... now, it seemed a solution to that predicament had presented itself.
His fingers twitched.
𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐢𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬, 𝐝𝐢𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮? 𝐎𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐛𝐢𝐫𝐝?
He dropped the hummingbird, only for a moment to speak.
“Ca'Gouski only found the bird who hums. He is keeping this.”
𝐎𝐡, 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮? 𝐖𝐞𝐥𝐥, 𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐬𝐭.
The cat took his hummingbird and jumped onto Jonathan’s bed.
“This is Ca'Gouski’s, as well.”
𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐭, 𝐈 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐟𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐨𝐧.
“Ca'Gouski is a god. You are a disgusting mortal. You may utilize the floor of Ca'Gouski’s palace.”
𝐀𝐝𝐨𝐫𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞. 𝐇𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫, 𝐈 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐟𝐢𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐨𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐮𝐦𝐛𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐤𝐞𝐲𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐭 𝐝𝐨𝐨𝐫.
“Ca'Gouski has the Fist…”
He tilts his head.
𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭?
The cat’s tail curled and the end of it morphed into a giant fist that launched itself past Jonathan. Leaving a giant dent in the wall, causing it to crack slightly.
“The Fist.”
...
It stared at the dent left behind in its wall, eventually turning back to face the cat again. The annoyance returned. It stared, unimpressed.
𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐮𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭, 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐧𝐞𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐟 𝐮𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚 𝐫𝐨𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦 𝐨𝐰𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐨𝐟.
“So it is his. It is Ca'Gouski’s.”
The cat sat down triumphantly on the bed.
𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐈 𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐝. 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐬-…
...
Now that's an idea.
It takes a step forward, reaching out and picking the cat up by the scruff of its wooden neck, lifting him to be eye level, while holding him just far enough away to be out of reach of his claws.
It offers a smile that is filled with not even an ounce of genuine emotion.
𝐋𝐞𝐭'𝐬 𝐠𝐨 𝐨𝐧 𝐚 𝐟𝐢𝐞𝐥𝐝 𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐩, 𝐡𝐦?
The cat immediately flailed, scratching at him and hissing. His mind filled with panic and dread.
“Let go of Ca'Gouski! Let go of him this instant!”
He remembered this. He remembered this— He remembered this— let him go— let him stay—
𝐀𝐡.
It held the cat slightly further away, so that he could not scratch out its eyes, or anything of the sort.
𝐃𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭.
His tail began to morph into a fist—
“Let go of Ca'Gouski!”
𝐎𝐡? 𝐒𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐠? 𝐒𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐝?
He frowned, noting the tail. He picked up the hummingbird that the cat had been so interested in keeping and held it out to the animal as some sort of comfort.
𝐈 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭. 𝐁𝐞𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟.
𝐏𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮.
“Ca'Gouski fears no pathetic human. He demands it puts him down!”
The cat grabbed the hummingbird in his teeth before he punched the man in the stomach, jumping on top of the bed again.
“Do not touch Ca'Gouski again or it shall meet demise.”
𝐇𝐚𝐚… 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐝. 𝐂𝐚𝐭. 𝐈 𝐚𝐦 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐡𝐮𝐦𝐚𝐧. 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲. 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲. 𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨.
It glared back at him, standing up straight.
𝐍𝐨𝐰. 𝐁𝐞𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟. 𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐦𝐞.
“Ca'Gouski is not its pet. Ca'Gouski is a god. If it touches him— if it treats him as lesser, Ca'Gouski will refuse to respond.”
𝐀𝐝𝐨𝐫𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞. 𝐈 𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐞. 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭. 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐜𝐞𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐚𝐬. 𝐈 𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮. 𝐀𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐜𝐭. 𝐍𝐨𝐰 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐦𝐞. 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐬. 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞. 𝐓𝐨 𝐰𝐚𝐥𝐤 𝐨𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐨𝐰𝐧.
“Ca'Gouski feels inclined to punch it again.”
Despite this, the cat jumped down.
Can I pet the kitty cat?
-Hermes
“If you wish to lose a hand. Ca'Gouski is not a pet.”
*Hermes frowns* “really? Not even a little pet behind the ears?”
“Ca'Gouski will not stand for such humiliation. Humans are filthy, pathetic things. Ca'Gouski does not know where it has been.”
“Aw. Okay then I just had to ask though! You look so cool” *Hermes moves back a bit*
The cat tilted his wooden head.
“Of course he does. Ca'Gouski is an elder god.”
“Yes sir. Very powerful you are kitty cat.”
“Ca'Gouski.”
The cat glared.
“Ah Ca’Gouski…I’m sorry” *Hermes sits down on his hands so he is not tempted to pet the cat.*
“Mh, yes. You should be, mortal.”
*Hermes chuckles a bit* “yes yes. You are very correct…kitty cat.”
The cat stood, walking around the man in a circle, looking at him judgmentally.
“What are you trying to do? What does it want from Ca'Gouski?”
“I don’t want anything! Just here to have fun with the amazing Ca’Gouski!”
“Ca'Gouski does not like this human. It is needy.”
*Hermes rolls all of his eyes playfully* “I’m sorry you feel that way
“It is flippant. It does not take Ca'Gouski seriously.”
“Don’t take it to heart. I don’t take most things seriously.”
“It will take Ca'Gouski seriously.”
There was a crash and the sound of hissing and scratching from the other room.
...
Annoyance flares. If that damned cat broke something-
Ca'Gouski stood in the center of the room, scratching the hummingbird Jonathan was gifted with vigor.
He stops dead in his tracks, silent.
After a long moment, static filled the room as he doubled over laughing. It hurt to laugh. He really had to stop, especially since the laughter was for no one's benefit. But the laughter continued. The static intensified. Jonathan reached out, having to steady himself on the doorframe.
The cat paused, looking up at the man with slitted eyes and a tilted head.
His shoulders are still shaking long after the static has cut out. Long after the sound has been replaced with silence. He reaches up, pressing his hand to his eyes in an attempt to recollect himself.
𝐘𝐨𝐮- 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐝𝐢𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭?
“Up. In the closet. Ca'Gouski had to climb.”
He picked up the hummingbird with a defensive posture.
𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐨𝐝𝐝.
He thought that he had gotten rid of that...
No. He wouldn't have. Jeremiah would have thrown a fit that he wasn't too keen on dealing with. Though... now, it seemed a solution to that predicament had presented itself.
His fingers twitched.
𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐢𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬, 𝐝𝐢𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮? 𝐎𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐛𝐢𝐫𝐝?
He dropped the hummingbird, only for a moment to speak.
“Ca'Gouski only found the bird who hums. He is keeping this.”
𝐎𝐡, 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮? 𝐖𝐞𝐥𝐥, 𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐬𝐭.
The cat took his hummingbird and jumped onto Jonathan’s bed.
“This is Ca'Gouski’s, as well.”
𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐭, 𝐈 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐟𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐨𝐧.
“Ca'Gouski is a god. You are a disgusting mortal. You may utilize the floor of Ca'Gouski’s palace.”
𝐀𝐝𝐨𝐫𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞. 𝐇𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫, 𝐈 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐟𝐢𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐨𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐮𝐦𝐛𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐤𝐞𝐲𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐭 𝐝𝐨𝐨𝐫.
“Ca'Gouski has the Fist…”
He tilts his head.
𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭?
The cat’s tail curled and the end of it morphed into a giant fist that launched itself past Jonathan. Leaving a giant dent in the wall, causing it to crack slightly.
“The Fist.”
...
It stared at the dent left behind in its wall, eventually turning back to face the cat again. The annoyance returned. It stared, unimpressed.
𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐮𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭, 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐧𝐞𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐟 𝐮𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚 𝐫𝐨𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦 𝐨𝐰𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐨𝐟.
“So it is his. It is Ca'Gouski’s.”
The cat sat down triumphantly on the bed.
𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐈 𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐝. 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐬-…
...
Now that's an idea.
It takes a step forward, reaching out and picking the cat up by the scruff of its wooden neck, lifting him to be eye level, while holding him just far enough away to be out of reach of his claws.
It offers a smile that is filled with not even an ounce of genuine emotion.
𝐋𝐞𝐭'𝐬 𝐠𝐨 𝐨𝐧 𝐚 𝐟𝐢𝐞𝐥𝐝 𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐩, 𝐡𝐦?
The cat immediately flailed, scratching at him and hissing. His mind filled with panic and dread.
“Let go of Ca'Gouski! Let go of him this instant!”
He remembered this. He remembered this— He remembered this— let him go— let him stay—
𝐀𝐡.
It held the cat slightly further away, so that he could not scratch out its eyes, or anything of the sort.
𝐃𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭.
His tail began to morph into a fist—
“Let go of Ca'Gouski!”
𝐎𝐡? 𝐒𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐠? 𝐒𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐝?
He frowned, noting the tail. He picked up the hummingbird that the cat had been so interested in keeping and held it out to the animal as some sort of comfort.
𝐈 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭. 𝐁𝐞𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟.
𝐏𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮.
“Ca'Gouski fears no pathetic human. He demands it puts him down!”
The cat grabbed the hummingbird in his teeth before he punched the man in the stomach, jumping on top of the bed again.
“Do not touch Ca'Gouski again or it shall meet demise.”
𝐇𝐚𝐚… 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐝. 𝐂𝐚𝐭. 𝐈 𝐚𝐦 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐡𝐮𝐦𝐚𝐧. 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲. 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲. 𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨.
It glared back at him, standing up straight.
𝐍𝐨𝐰. 𝐁𝐞𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟. 𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐦𝐞.
“Ca'Gouski is not its pet. Ca'Gouski is a god. If it touches him— if it treats him as lesser, Ca'Gouski will refuse to respond.”
Can I pet the kitty cat?
-Hermes
“If you wish to lose a hand. Ca'Gouski is not a pet.”
*Hermes frowns* “really? Not even a little pet behind the ears?”
“Ca'Gouski will not stand for such humiliation. Humans are filthy, pathetic things. Ca'Gouski does not know where it has been.”
“Aw. Okay then I just had to ask though! You look so cool” *Hermes moves back a bit*
The cat tilted his wooden head.
“Of course he does. Ca'Gouski is an elder god.”
“Yes sir. Very powerful you are kitty cat.”
“Ca'Gouski.”
The cat glared.
“Ah Ca’Gouski…I’m sorry” *Hermes sits down on his hands so he is not tempted to pet the cat.*
“Mh, yes. You should be, mortal.”
*Hermes chuckles a bit* “yes yes. You are very correct…kitty cat.”
The cat stood, walking around the man in a circle, looking at him judgmentally.
“What are you trying to do? What does it want from Ca'Gouski?”
“I don’t want anything! Just here to have fun with the amazing Ca’Gouski!”
“Ca'Gouski does not like this human. It is needy.”
*Hermes rolls all of his eyes playfully* “I’m sorry you feel that way
“It is flippant. It does not take Ca'Gouski seriously.”
Can I pet the kitty cat?
-Hermes
“If you wish to lose a hand. Ca'Gouski is not a pet.”
*Hermes frowns* “really? Not even a little pet behind the ears?”
“Ca'Gouski will not stand for such humiliation. Humans are filthy, pathetic things. Ca'Gouski does not know where it has been.”
“Aw. Okay then I just had to ask though! You look so cool” *Hermes moves back a bit*
The cat tilted his wooden head.
“Of course he does. Ca'Gouski is an elder god.”
“Yes sir. Very powerful you are kitty cat.”
“Ca'Gouski.”
The cat glared.
“Ah Ca’Gouski…I’m sorry” *Hermes sits down on his hands so he is not tempted to pet the cat.*
“Mh, yes. You should be, mortal.”
*Hermes chuckles a bit* “yes yes. You are very correct…kitty cat.”
The cat stood, walking around the man in a circle, looking at him judgmentally.
“What are you trying to do? What does it want from Ca'Gouski?”
“I don’t want anything! Just here to have fun with the amazing Ca’Gouski!”
“Ca'Gouski does not like this human. It is needy.”
There was a crash and the sound of hissing and scratching from the other room.
...
Annoyance flares. If that damned cat broke something-
Ca'Gouski stood in the center of the room, scratching the hummingbird Jonathan was gifted with vigor.
He stops dead in his tracks, silent.
After a long moment, static filled the room as he doubled over laughing. It hurt to laugh. He really had to stop, especially since the laughter was for no one's benefit. But the laughter continued. The static intensified. Jonathan reached out, having to steady himself on the doorframe.
The cat paused, looking up at the man with slitted eyes and a tilted head.
His shoulders are still shaking long after the static has cut out. Long after the sound has been replaced with silence. He reaches up, pressing his hand to his eyes in an attempt to recollect himself.
𝐘𝐨𝐮- 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐝𝐢𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭?
“Up. In the closet. Ca'Gouski had to climb.”
He picked up the hummingbird with a defensive posture.
𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐨𝐝𝐝.
He thought that he had gotten rid of that...
No. He wouldn't have. Jeremiah would have thrown a fit that he wasn't too keen on dealing with. Though... now, it seemed a solution to that predicament had presented itself.
His fingers twitched.
𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐢𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬, 𝐝𝐢𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮? 𝐎𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐛𝐢𝐫𝐝?
He dropped the hummingbird, only for a moment to speak.
“Ca'Gouski only found the bird who hums. He is keeping this.”
𝐎𝐡, 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮? 𝐖𝐞𝐥𝐥, 𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐬𝐭.
The cat took his hummingbird and jumped onto Jonathan’s bed.
“This is Ca'Gouski’s, as well.”
𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐭, 𝐈 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐟𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐨𝐧.
“Ca'Gouski is a god. You are a disgusting mortal. You may utilize the floor of Ca'Gouski’s palace.”
𝐀𝐝𝐨𝐫𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞. 𝐇𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫, 𝐈 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐟𝐢𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐨𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐮𝐦𝐛𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐤𝐞𝐲𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐭 𝐝𝐨𝐨𝐫.
“Ca'Gouski has the Fist…”
He tilts his head.
𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭?
The cat’s tail curled and the end of it morphed into a giant fist that launched itself past Jonathan. Leaving a giant dent in the wall, causing it to crack slightly.
“The Fist.”
...
It stared at the dent left behind in its wall, eventually turning back to face the cat again. The annoyance returned. It stared, unimpressed.
𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐮𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭, 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐧𝐞𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐟 𝐮𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚 𝐫𝐨𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦 𝐨𝐰𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐨𝐟.
“So it is his. It is Ca'Gouski’s.”
The cat sat down triumphantly on the bed.
𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐈 𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐝. 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐬-…
...
Now that's an idea.
It takes a step forward, reaching out and picking the cat up by the scruff of its wooden neck, lifting him to be eye level, while holding him just far enough away to be out of reach of his claws.
It offers a smile that is filled with not even an ounce of genuine emotion.
𝐋𝐞𝐭'𝐬 𝐠𝐨 𝐨𝐧 𝐚 𝐟𝐢𝐞𝐥𝐝 𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐩, 𝐡𝐦?
The cat immediately flailed, scratching at him and hissing. His mind filled with panic and dread.
“Let go of Ca'Gouski! Let go of him this instant!”
He remembered this. He remembered this— He remembered this— let him go— let him stay—
𝐀𝐡.
It held the cat slightly further away, so that he could not scratch out its eyes, or anything of the sort.
𝐃𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭.
His tail began to morph into a fist—
“Let go of Ca'Gouski!”
𝐎𝐡? 𝐒𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐠? 𝐒𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐝?
He frowned, noting the tail. He picked up the hummingbird that the cat had been so interested in keeping and held it out to the animal as some sort of comfort.
𝐈 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭. 𝐁𝐞𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟.
𝐏𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮.
“Ca'Gouski fears no pathetic human. He demands it puts him down!”
The cat grabbed the hummingbird in his teeth before he punched the man in the stomach, jumping on top of the bed again.
“Do not touch Ca'Gouski again or it shall meet demise.”
There was a crash and the sound of hissing and scratching from the other room.
...
Annoyance flares. If that damned cat broke something-
Ca'Gouski stood in the center of the room, scratching the hummingbird Jonathan was gifted with vigor.
He stops dead in his tracks, silent.
After a long moment, static filled the room as he doubled over laughing. It hurt to laugh. He really had to stop, especially since the laughter was for no one's benefit. But the laughter continued. The static intensified. Jonathan reached out, having to steady himself on the doorframe.
The cat paused, looking up at the man with slitted eyes and a tilted head.
His shoulders are still shaking long after the static has cut out. Long after the sound has been replaced with silence. He reaches up, pressing his hand to his eyes in an attempt to recollect himself.
𝐘𝐨𝐮- 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐝𝐢𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭?
“Up. In the closet. Ca'Gouski had to climb.”
He picked up the hummingbird with a defensive posture.
𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐨𝐝𝐝.
He thought that he had gotten rid of that...
No. He wouldn't have. Jeremiah would have thrown a fit that he wasn't too keen on dealing with. Though... now, it seemed a solution to that predicament had presented itself.
His fingers twitched.
𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐢𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬, 𝐝𝐢𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮? 𝐎𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐛𝐢𝐫𝐝?
He dropped the hummingbird, only for a moment to speak.
“Ca'Gouski only found the bird who hums. He is keeping this.”
𝐎𝐡, 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮? 𝐖𝐞𝐥𝐥, 𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐬𝐭.
The cat took his hummingbird and jumped onto Jonathan’s bed.
“This is Ca'Gouski’s, as well.”
𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐭, 𝐈 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐟𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐨𝐧.
“Ca'Gouski is a god. You are a disgusting mortal. You may utilize the floor of Ca'Gouski’s palace.”
𝐀𝐝𝐨𝐫𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞. 𝐇𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫, 𝐈 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐟𝐢𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐨𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐮𝐦𝐛𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐤𝐞𝐲𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐭 𝐝𝐨𝐨𝐫.
“Ca'Gouski has the Fist…”
He tilts his head.
𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭?
The cat’s tail curled and the end of it morphed into a giant fist that launched itself past Jonathan. Leaving a giant dent in the wall, causing it to crack slightly.
“The Fist.”
...
It stared at the dent left behind in its wall, eventually turning back to face the cat again. The annoyance returned. It stared, unimpressed.
𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐮𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭, 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐧𝐞𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐟 𝐮𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚 𝐫𝐨𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦 𝐨𝐰𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐨𝐟.
“So it is his. It is Ca'Gouski’s.”
The cat sat down triumphantly on the bed.
𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐈 𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐝. 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐬-…
...
Now that's an idea.
It takes a step forward, reaching out and picking the cat up by the scruff of its wooden neck, lifting him to be eye level, while holding him just far enough away to be out of reach of his claws.
It offers a smile that is filled with not even an ounce of genuine emotion.
𝐋𝐞𝐭'𝐬 𝐠𝐨 𝐨𝐧 𝐚 𝐟𝐢𝐞𝐥𝐝 𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐩, 𝐡𝐦?
The cat immediately flailed, scratching at him and hissing. His mind filled with panic and dread.
“Let go of Ca'Gouski! Let go of him this instant!”
He remembered this. He remembered this— He remembered this— let him go— let him stay—
𝐀𝐡.
It held the cat slightly further away, so that he could not scratch out its eyes, or anything of the sort.
𝐃𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭.
His tail began to morph into a fist—
“Let go of Ca'Gouski!”
Can I pet the kitty cat?
-Hermes
“If you wish to lose a hand. Ca'Gouski is not a pet.”
*Hermes frowns* “really? Not even a little pet behind the ears?”
“Ca'Gouski will not stand for such humiliation. Humans are filthy, pathetic things. Ca'Gouski does not know where it has been.”
“Aw. Okay then I just had to ask though! You look so cool” *Hermes moves back a bit*
The cat tilted his wooden head.
“Of course he does. Ca'Gouski is an elder god.”
“Yes sir. Very powerful you are kitty cat.”
“Ca'Gouski.”
The cat glared.
“Ah Ca’Gouski…I’m sorry” *Hermes sits down on his hands so he is not tempted to pet the cat.*
“Mh, yes. You should be, mortal.”
*Hermes chuckles a bit* “yes yes. You are very correct…kitty cat.”
The cat stood, walking around the man in a circle, looking at him judgmentally.
“What are you trying to do? What does it want from Ca'Gouski?”
Can I pet the kitty cat?
-Hermes
“If you wish to lose a hand. Ca'Gouski is not a pet.”
*Hermes frowns* “really? Not even a little pet behind the ears?”
“Ca'Gouski will not stand for such humiliation. Humans are filthy, pathetic things. Ca'Gouski does not know where it has been.”
“Aw. Okay then I just had to ask though! You look so cool” *Hermes moves back a bit*
The cat tilted his wooden head.
“Of course he does. Ca'Gouski is an elder god.”
“Yes sir. Very powerful you are kitty cat.”
“Ca'Gouski.”
The cat glared.
“Ah Ca’Gouski…I’m sorry” *Hermes sits down on his hands so he is not tempted to pet the cat.*
“Mh, yes. You should be, mortal.”
Can I pet the kitty cat?
-Hermes
“If you wish to lose a hand. Ca'Gouski is not a pet.”
*Hermes frowns* “really? Not even a little pet behind the ears?”
“Ca'Gouski will not stand for such humiliation. Humans are filthy, pathetic things. Ca'Gouski does not know where it has been.”
“Aw. Okay then I just had to ask though! You look so cool” *Hermes moves back a bit*
The cat tilted his wooden head.
“Of course he does. Ca'Gouski is an elder god.”
“Yes sir. Very powerful you are kitty cat.”
“Ca'Gouski.”
The cat glared.
Can I pet the kitty cat?
-Hermes
“If you wish to lose a hand. Ca'Gouski is not a pet.”
*Hermes frowns* “really? Not even a little pet behind the ears?”
“Ca'Gouski will not stand for such humiliation. Humans are filthy, pathetic things. Ca'Gouski does not know where it has been.”
“Aw. Okay then I just had to ask though! You look so cool” *Hermes moves back a bit*
The cat tilted his wooden head.
“Of course he does. Ca'Gouski is an elder god.”
Can I pet the kitty cat?
-Hermes
“If you wish to lose a hand. Ca'Gouski is not a pet.”
*Hermes frowns* “really? Not even a little pet behind the ears?”
“Ca'Gouski will not stand for such humiliation. Humans are filthy, pathetic things. Ca'Gouski does not know where it has been.”
