skinny love

Paula Young. 25. Supermodel. 1992-2018 "Maybe there's someone out there who's good with speaking to a blank stare. I know I'm preaching to a lost cause but at least I know, I'm alive and not just breathing." NOT JUST BREATHING BY THE PLOT IN YOU

[reverberationroom]

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I found peace in your violence Can’t show me there’s no point in trying I’m at one, and I’ve been quiet for too long

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[pcrkjinee-deactivated20180525]

3.21.18 || Self Para

Death TW, Mild Sexual Assault TW, Eating Disorder TW

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[tanrininbiricikkulu]

[grrlhood]

badass female character aesthetics: veronica lodge, riverdale

[isprinsessee]

MBTI type: ISTJ

Moral alignment: Neutral 

Hogwarts house: Hufflepuff

Zodiac sign: Capricorn (sun), Capricorn (moon), Libra (rising)

Virtues and vices: Temperance/Envy

Best memories: Seeing Issues (my fav band) back in September. I had VIP and got to sit in on a Q&A and then meet them/take pictures with them. Their set was so good except the lights and shit made it hard to keep my head up to look. There were things that went HORRIBLY wrong but it was something I will never forget. Another memory is meeting Ginny, my best friend like..... 12? years ago. I love you... bitch.

What characters you enjoy playing most: I like playing REALLY dark and disturbed characters the most or ones who are sad af and just major puppies. There isn’t really an in between.

Your favorite muses: My bb Angeline will always hold a special place in my heart.

Favorite show/movie: Jane the Virgin/Hercules 

Favorite food/snack: Addicted to Chinese and Sushi/will eat my weight in flaming hot Cheetos and drink gallons of McDonald’s sweet tea.

Favorite color: GREEN!

Favorite YouTuber: Kathleen Lights, Good Mythical Morning & Thomas Halbert.

Favorite Model: Anastasiya Ty.

Who do I stalk on Instagram: @sabrinaanellie, @maddzwelborn & @dovecameron 

How many pets do you have: 3 dogs, 2 hamsters and one day I will have an axolotl and a blue tongue skink.

Top songs right now: 

Divide by Eidola

Complicated by badXchannels 

I Always Wanted To Leave by The Plot in You

11:11 by Waterparks

Doom & Gloom by Dance Gavin Dance

Sunrise by Our Last Night

Love the Way You Lie pt. 2 by Rihanna

The Black by Asking Alexandria

My Style by Poppy

Mr. Doctor Man by Palaye Royale

thank you to the BEAUTIFUL @tash-taylor for giving me the balls to post my face 

[ofconquest]

SERENA INSTAGRAM UPDATE ft. @lcrkspur + @isprinsessee

[isprinsessee]

PAULA YOUNG + THE RAINBOW pt.1

I don't even care if I'm late And I will never make the mistake Of letting some crooked motherfucker Steal the life from every one of my veins

How many times do I have to fight To prove something that's already standing here in plain sight? Maybe if you ever looked You'd see more than everything they want you to see And maybe if it's not enough Someone else will take the crown if ever I leave

[chloeleiden-blog]

pretty wild glossy: glossypages x iconic pretty wild quotes

ft @theraferowan, @pcrkjinee, @lacey-lay, @sofiemcclean @glossyserena, @isprinsessee, @oettgen & @catsmeow-kitty

[jennifrjareau]

[isprinsessee]

@kaiowns

[ghostsandgoblins]

[isprinsessee]

UNSENT TO: KAI ❤️ (2.27.18)

Paula: I just woke up in the hospital.

Paula: I am so scared, Kai.

Paula: I messed up. I messed up really bad.

Paula: What if they find out? What if YOU find out?

Paula: I just came to terms with letting you be a part of my life. I don't want you to leave if you find out...

Paula: I don't want you to know I am not strong.

Paula: But I am so tired of being strong.

[isprinsessee]

♔ Jake

♔ a kiss on the cheek

    Her mind was made of smoking ash, fresh from the volcano that previously erupted. She chased down the soot with whiskey and vodka sodas, hoping to forget the mess she made-- hoping to forget that beneath the rubble lied the beautiful city of Pompeii that would always remain a part of her. She stared into the mirror of a dirty pub bathroom and she didn’t see anything but the blackness that covered every inch of her and soon, she would add to the feeling of nothingness that she never thought she would be free of. 

She stumbled out of the bar and into an uber, everything an incoherent blur until she reached a familiar door. He had helped her so much and in her drunken haze, she wanted to repay him in the only way she knew how and the only way her body was programmed to say thank you. She banged loud enough until a sleepy Jake opened his door to a wasted model who threw herself at him, lips immediatly trailing over his jaw with ease. Broken kisses against skin to Paula was like a program in a machine-- cold and empty. 

    He pulled himself back, a dumbfounded look on his face. “What are doing?” 

Paula took a step back, confusion furrowing her brows together before shrugging her doubt away. She unzipped her dress to let the black satin float down to her feet, revealing her body once more to the artist who understood her heart. “I’m trying to say thank you. Don’t you want me to say thank you?” She questioned. If she was any more gone into the bottom of a bottle she would already be eagerly dropping to her knees for him.

    “Not like this,” He said, taking one of her hands into his. “Let me take you to bed-- to sleep, not to --you know...” He gave a warm smile and she was quick to follow suit, a frown tugging at her lips. Paula wasn’t used to being turned down, but then again she wasn’t the same Paula the world had grown to hate. She was broken and bitter-- things were changing and people were looking at her weirdly. All except Kai-- and Jake. 

And that is the last thing she remembered when she woke up in bed next to him, light peering through the blinds and letting Paula know that she had a migraine from Hell. She moved carefully out from underneath the covers, noticing her had laid her dress over the end of the bed so she could find it easily. Quiet enough not to wake him, she stepped into the satin and zipped it back up. Tip-toeing over to his side of the bed, she leaned in and placed a gentle kiss against his cheek. 

    “Thank you.” She whispered to a sleeping Jake before leaving his room and apartment.

[isprinsessee]

BOLD what applies to your muse.

PLACE IN SOCIETY

financial: wealthy / moderate / poor / in poverty.

medical: fit / moderate / sickly / disabled / disadvantaged.

class or caste: upper / middle / working / slave / unsure.

education: qualified / unqualified / studying.

criminal record: yes, for major crimes / yes, for minor crimes / no.

FAMILY

married - happily / married - unhappily / engaged / partnered / single / divorced / separated.

has a child or children / has no children / wants children.  (one day)

close with sibling(s) / not close with sibling(s) / has no siblings  / sibling(s) is deceased.

orphaned / adopted / disowned / raised by birth parent(s).

TRAITS + TENDENCIES

extroverted / introverted / in between.

disorganized / organized / in between.

close minded / open-minded  / in between.

calm / anxious / in between.

disagreeable / agreeable / in between.

cautious / reckless / in between.

patient / impatient / in between.

outspoken / reserved / in between.

leader / follower / in between.

empathetic / unemphatic / in between.

optimistic / pessimistic / in between.

traditional / modern / in between.

hard-working / lazy / in between.

cultured / un-cultured / in between / unknown.

loyal / disloyal / unknown.

faithful / unfaithful / unknown.

SEXUALITY + ROMANTIC INCLINATION

heterosexual / homosexual / bisexual / asexual / pansexual.

sex repulsed / sex neutral / sex favourable.

romance repulsed / romance neutral / romance favourable.

sexually: adventurous / experienced / naive / inexperienced / curious.

potential sexual partners: male / female / agender / other / none / all.

potential romantic partners: male / female / agender / other / none / all.

ABILITIES

combat skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none.

literacy skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none

artistic skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none

technical skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none.

HABITS

drinking alcohol: never / sometimes / frequently / to excess.

smoking: never / sometimes / frequently / to excess. 

other narcotics: never / sometimes / frequently / to excess.

medicinal drugs: never / sometimes  / frequently / to excess. 

indulgent food: never / sometimes / frequently / to excess. 

splurge spending: never / sometimes / frequently / to excess.

gambling: never / sometimes / frequently / to excess.

[isprinsessee]

PAULA YOUNG + @kaiowns (happy birthday vera!)

“Take a chance on a wounded heart Pick a time, pick a place to start There's no better time than now

You say you're waiting for someone to save you What's the worst than can happen baby? Just let love work it out

Who am I? Who are you? What are we supposed to do? “

[isprinsessee]

Title: World Around Me Date: February 27th & 28th, 2018  Where: Milan Fashion Week Triggers: Depressive thoughts, outcomes of her eating disorder (both types) 

!!PROCEED WITH CAUTION!!

I. THE INCIDENT

Chin up, back straight. Models never slouch.

The stress of fashion week was something Paula always struggled to handle. The intense and fast paced lifestyle should have been something she was used to, but every year it seemed to get harder and harder on her– to the point that meals were far less frequent, if there were any at all and her spare time was spent in the gym to distract from her hunger. She didn’t get this far in the game to let herself go now.

On top of that, everything in her personal life was going downhill too. People saw past her icy exterior, they saw her weaknesses and part of her was thankful for it, the other part of her wanted to build her walls up even higher. High enough to where Elijah and even Kai couldn’t even get over them. They only made her want to cave into her demons and give up everything she fought for and to Paula... that was not okay.

Now she stood backstage at Milan Fashion Week, the rush of changing in less than a minute over and over made Paula feel a little weak in the knees– the world starting to spin around her quicker than usual.

“Paula! You’re up!”

Swallowing roughly, she nodded and made her way up to the curtains. Usually the adrenaline gave the model a high like she was on top of the world, but not tonight. Everyone had eyes on her– especially since her campaign drop with Giorgio Armani. The pressure was on and it felt like a crushing weight on top of her that she couldn’t escape.

She stepped out on the runaway and the lights were nearly blinding. As she made her way down the stage she worked so hard to make her own, it looked like the crowd was swimming through their chairs. The lights were warping and she could feel the wobble of her knees beneath her. It felt like forever that she had been walking before she posed at the end of the runaway, lights flashing over and over again. That was when it happened.

That was when it all went black.

II. THE AFTERMATH

“MODEL PAULA YOUNG FAINTS ON RUNAWAY DURING MILAN FASHION WEEK”

It was a minor mishap. At least, that is what she told herself. She got by with her lies by the skin of her teeth saying she hadn’t eaten or slept much due to being busy. If only they knew the truth or were able to connect the dots before releasing her. All she knew was she wasn’t ready to admit what was wrong with her or that she even had a problem to begin with. But word gets out quickly and while the doctors weren’t able to piece together the puzzle, others were. 

Rumors flew from page to page. She was a model who was thinner than usual and she fainted on the runaway. To everyone around her that could only mean one thing-- she was starving herself and while they weren’t wrong, it still infuriated Paula that the nonsense was circulating this quickly. 

Paparazzi waited outside the hospital, bombarding her with flashes of their cameras and reporters shoved microphones in her face asking if the rumors were true. She didn’t give a yes or no answer, just clung to the security guards that were escorting her to her car and hissed an, “I’m fine, I’m fine.” Every few paces to get them to quiet down. 

“Paula, how do you feel about Armani dropping you from your new campaign? Has he known all this time?” 

Those words cause Paula to stop in her tracks, spinning around to face the reporter who spoke to her with an intensity in her eyes. “What are you talking about?” 

“We have the note here,” The woman said, pulling out the piece of paper they had with a statement from Giorgio Armani. Paula was quick to snatch the paper from the reporter’s hand, shoving it into her jacket pocket. 

“Mind your business, okay?” She bit back before being pulled away and towards her car once more. She carefully climbed in, taking a few deep and weak breaths before pulling the page back out from her pocket to read. 

“It comes with deep sadness to say that Paula Young will no longer be the face for our most recent campaign. We were unaware of her current state of mind and body and we do not, in any way wish to condone the actions she has chosen to take. We want all of our models to be healthy and mentally okay in order to be a good role model for women all over the world who look into our brand. We do not wish for this illness to be looked up to which is why this has been a hard decision to make. We all wish Paula the best in her journey and hope to eventually welcome her back when she has recovered fully.”

Paula crumpled up the paper, rolling down the window and throwing it to the wind. She thought she knew what rock bottom had felt like, but nothing prepared her for this. Nothing prepared Paula for the harsh reality of her actions and their consequences. Nothing prepared her to lose everything she had worked for and she wasn’t ready for it. Not now and not ever. She picked up her phone, dialing a number and holding the phone up to her ear. 

“Yes. It’s Paula Young. I was calling about an interview you would like to do? I’m ready to talk about the rumors...” 

[isprinsessee]

PAULA YOUNG + THE HOUSE OF SLYTHERIN

PATRNOUS: Black Mamba AMORTENTIA: White moon flowers, cinnamon, a frozen lake BOGGART: A dark 8 foot tall, faceless figure, presumably a male WAND: Pine wood with a Dragon heartstring core 13" and Rigid flexibility ILVERMORNY HOUSE: Horned Serpent  QUOTE: “We Slytherins are brave, yes, but not stupid.  For instance, given the choice  We will always choose to save our own necks.”

[isprinsessee]

INTRODUCING JAMIE HUGHES

THE SOCIAL BUTTERFLY - THE BEAUTY GURU - THE UNAPOLOGETIC 

“I love myself, I wanna see it. When I turn around, look in the mirror and if you don't like it, you can leave it because it's my own and I'll keep owning it. If you don't like what I'm wearing. Well, you're only bothered because you're staring and you'll never talk me into caring because it's my own and I'll keep owning it .”

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