[ivyandbranch]

Get a Library Card even if you never use it

[melancholic-whimsy]

sometimes you just have to peel the entire skin off your lips because self-care

[rpf-addict]

[mxliv-oftheendless]

So if yall didn’t know, in The Hobbit book, Thranduil had the Dwarves locked up for approximately weeks, and Bilbo was just invisible and wandering in the palace the entire time, vibing miserably.

My headcanon, therefore, is that the Mirkwood Elves now have a local legend about a ghost haunting Thranduil’s palace, never seen but generally thought to be harmless. Thranduil scoffs at the idea, but has been seen glancing around at the dark corners of rooms. Legolas fully believes in it and is known to say hello out loud when he enters an empty room, in case the ghost is nearby.

It’s not until Legolas joins the Fellowship that he figures out that the supposed ghost was actually an invisible Bilbo the whole time. He never tells Thranduil, because he thinks it’s funny to see his regal father unnerved by the idea of a ghost.

[airandangels]

On the other hand: “Oh good, it wasn’t really a ghost,” followed by “It was the One Ring of Sauron, the most powerfully evil and dangerous artefact in the world, in my home, for weeks.”

[roach-works]

"And Frodo's actual uncle used it to rearrange the banquet spoons that one time that we all still talk about."

[elanorpam]

world's most harmless nerd, haunting your pantry and judging your cheese choices while wearing world's most cursed artifact

which he uses to mope around like a hikkikomori and sneak cheese slices to inmates at the state prison

[biathediamond]

this is one of the funniest things i have seen all year, but it is implied at the end of the hobbit that bilbo revealed that he was the palace's ghost when he gave thranduil a necklace in repayment for all the food he stole while hiding.

however, the ring, of course, stayed a complete secret. so while the mirkwood elves know that bilbo was hiding in their palace while the dwarves were imprisoned, they don't know how.

conclusion: the mirkwood elves believe hobbits can turn invisible

[mrawkweird]

I still think about you, Zoog Disney.

[mrawkweird]

I still think about you, Zoog Disney.

[senatortedcruz]

One piece of advice that’s always stuck with me is to never hold back a compliment. If you think someone looks nice/is doing a good job/is very talented tell them! Could improve someone’s day or make you a new friend.

[tomb-mold]

the problem is i really do love staying up until one billion o'clock. it just cant be helped

[default-cube]

who up wasting their only shot at life through complete and utter inaction

[paranormal-instigator-inc]

If I'm gonna die, I may as well live.

[ceruleanheaven]

religion is so fucking funny the world is just too beautiful there must be a higher entity behind all this. lets oppress women

[setulose]

Not to sound like a broken record but does it make anyone else viscerally angry how we realized in the very recent past that we can successfully eradicate devastating human-specific diseases (smallpox) yet now there's a million people telling you not to vaccinate your kids against measles. I know I know "everyone will not just" but also for real we could never have measles again if everyone would just be cool

[scienceoftheidiot]

Repeat after me : during the 90s WHO had estimated measles would be eradicated by 2020

No more measles. Eradicated. Forever.

Viscerally angry? Talk about being absolutely furious every fucking second of every fucking day.

[podcastwizard]

saw a comment that misspelled “kind gesture” as “kind jester” and am now imagining a beautiful world where we praise good samaritans by calling them kind jesters. good on you, you gentle fool. you’ve made the world a sweeter and sillier place.

[spidersinmysoup]

Spiritually my spirit is always smoking a cigarette but physically i am.not because hashatg smoking kills

[crowboy-bebop]

oh my fucking god

[kumkaniudaku]

And then you can’t even say shit about bc people start trying to put you in a jacket and shit. Like omg it’s so strict???

[lazer-exe]

I'm gonna say it, I do think that even the laziest person imaginable should have a roof over their head, food in their stomach, and access to healthcare