refuse to sink @it-s-u-c-k-s - Tumblr Blog

maureen2musings

Turks and Caicos Islands

sanddollarimages

gemini-apple-pie

you were warm, your words were anchors, and i am tied down to you still

this feeling comes in waves, it’s here then it’s not. i come and go with it as it pleases

i am not in control of my emotions, my thoughts

i see you everywhere, i look for you everywhere, your smell, your eyes, your smile

maybe all i’m looking for isn’t enough.

maybe i’m looking for me.

because you are irreplaceable.

every soul is different.

i could find your warmth in someone else, try to find it somewhere buried in me, like the spark i thought we had

but i don’t want to

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we only talked for three weeks, i can’t imagine how i would feel after three months, three years even

people last that long in relationships?? wtf??

i could barley last one night pretending my anxiety doesn’t fully consume me. like i know how to be a real person in the real world. i admit i was jumping too far ahead of myself. obsessively falling headfirst, putting myself out there with compulsive confessions that appeared as genuine honesty.

who am i? with no context to other people?

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i am a soul, i am a body. i am me.

create, appreciate, cultivate. feel. even when you don’t want to. you’re alive, you had no say in that, but you have a say in what you do with it. FUCKIGN LIVE OMG