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Okay

I hope you are okay. I hope you understand I’m not. I have been having trouble with my depression and anxiety. It’s hard to get up sometimes. I force myself to get up but not because of pride or anything related to me but, because if I don’t my family will see. I don’t want to alarm you. You won’t see this anyways but yea. It’s strange to me that the people I end up liking will probably never notice me again. The people I love will never love me. This girl I really like, she says she loves me but I don’t think she means it how I want her too. God, I don’t know what to do. I just feel alone.

#letters to her #writing #alone

Trust is a hard thing. It’s Built over time but can be destroyed in just a couple of words or seconds. I can give you all my trust right away or you can build it over time. But who’s going to brake it? You or me? Probably both of us.

Bad Hand Writing

I’m not good at a lot of thing. Like; Typing, reading, listening, paying attention, and writing. God what I would give to be able to write you a letter that looked good. For the life of me I can’t be neat. I want to write a letter that looks good and tells my emotions. but my hand writing looks like shit. Its hard to pour your emotions out and have it look good, right? yea I guess so. I have Bad Hand Writing. I’ll live with it. I hope you can too.

#writing #letters to her #Thoughts #hand writing

some thoughts

Time and time again, I think that I can be happy. Time and time again, I think I am doomed. Over the past 4 years it’s hard not to think of the things we could have changed. Over the past 3 years I have changed. We can change over a week, over a day. I believe I cant hold the past against you. I believe I cant hold anything against anyone. We all have our faults. Truly I never thought I was a good guy but, I still think I’m better than a lot of guys. I’m told I’m the kind of guy moms want their daughters to date. I am told I’m the kind of guy dads don’t want around their daughters. But I get along with everyone. Or I try to... I hope.

I dream of happiness, I dream of love, I dream of a family.

We can stop ourselves from being happy by just forcing pain mentally or physically. Try to love. Try to be happy. Try to be apart of a family.

何度も何度も、私は幸せになることができると思います。何度も、私は運命にあると思います。過去4年間で、私たちが変更した可能性があることを考えるのは難しいことではありません。過去3年間で私は変わりました。 1週間、1日で変更できます。私はあなたに対して過去を我慢できないと信じています。私は誰に対しても何も持つことができないと信じています。私たち全員に欠点があります。本当に自分がいい人だとは思っていませんでしたが、それでも私は多くの人より優れていると思います。私は母親が娘たちにこれまでデートしてもらいたい種類の男だと聞いています。私は父親が娘の周りに欲しくない種類の男だと言われています。しかし、私は皆と仲良くしています。それとも…

幸せを夢見て、愛を夢見て、家族を夢見る。

精神的または肉体的に痛みを強制するだけで、幸せになれないようにすることができます。愛してみてください。幸せになるようにしてください。家族の一員になるようにしてください。

#writting #letters to her

i miss the sex on tumblr lul

s a d

Sometimes its hard, you feel alone. You feel like there is no one to talk to. You know there is but you just feel alone. I have been feeling that way a long time. Since we split. I try and fake my happiness, but you can only do so much.

I had a dream the other night. It was us... We had a boy, and we were happy. Happy... now that’s a word i haven’t felt in a while. Its weird that you can feel the word happy. I hope you are, honest to god I hope you are. I wish the best for you.

Me with out you I also want to shoot myself too

Me with out you. I feel like and idiot too. Lost with out you. All I feel is pain. I miss you.

How many nights sleeping in the tub will this be? 4? 5?

It hurts. It burns.

I want you to be happy.

Might as well bleed in the tub to.

I love you.

Am I going to have to sleep in the bathtub? All I do right now is vomit.

Just let the tub be he catchers mitt. You are going to shower anyways.

Shower.

Throwing up in the tub. Yay. I miss you. I love you. I hope you can love me again

I'm so scared

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