Laughing All The Way

Go to www.laughingalltheway.net to guide you through Successful Aging and to embrace the 10 Ingredients of Happiness!  Can email us at [email protected]

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What To Do With Garbage

When to the curb garbage couldn’t be put Litter filled roads or air its soot No whisking away to rubbish land By a robust, steadfast garbage man

In olden days leftovers were tossed outside Way before for the invention of germicide Disease flourished not to mention if it hit Someone who probably threw a fit

Finally we collected and dumped it in one location Then wait for its disintegration Garbage mountains grew higher as population exploded What could prevent landfills from becoming overloaded?

The solution was to convert waste into other stuff Using material for one life was simply not enough Still transforming plastic spoons into garbage pails Produces pollution thus some ways recycling fails

I guess to use less is the answer The growth of garbage is like a cancer Buy saying goodbye to our old ways We might prevent the end of days.

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I’m no good at.....

I’m no good at ………fill in the blank

So you were told you can’t sing, do math, throw a baseball, or go far in life. Funny I was told the same thing.  

Well I can’t sing but enjoy singing, not in the rain but the bathroom.

The only math that’s important in my life is adding.  Maybe even a little bit of subtracting, multiplying, and dividing, and guess what I can do it just fine. Algebra and trigonometry just don’t come into play in my life.

And going forward in life, they were right insofar as I had to invent my own careers.  I do know that I never would have achieved as much as I did by following in another’s idea footsteps.

So when someone says you’re no good be relieved, you probably don’t want to be good at that either.

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Heating Up

I realize it’s not freezing everywhere in our country but when I need to wear gloves in Florida, you know winter’s deep reach has arrived.

If you don’t have a fireplace or don’t want to spend oodles of cash to kick your thermostat in high gear, do what I do.  I sequester myself in one room at a time and carry around a small electric heater that I position close by and blow the heat directly at my body.

Yeah it’s a pain but numb fingers is more of a pain.

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Another Year Older And Wiser

Yup, another year another older…wait a minute wiser is more like it!

I woke up on the 1st and told myself to forget the indignities of the past year, erase them from my mind, which is not hard to do these days.  By some miracle I listened.  With that done, I heard the voices in from my past like mother, father, teacher, and anyone else who reproached me with words like “You never listen!” Ah, but what they didn’t figure out is that I always listen to myself.  Isn’t that enough?

The answer is no, it’s not enough, at least for them.  It’s the them’s in this world that find fault in us.  

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Travel Makes The Heart Grow Fonder

Travel makes the heart grow fonder You think out of the box when you wander

Away from routine tendencies Breaking habits from dependencies

All over the world, you’re virtually disguised Whoever looks at you is surprised The language heard is perplexing And finding places is often vexing

If you’ve never seen this before It might be hated or adored Whichever way you feel it can Help your horizons to expand Knowledge of cultures different from yours Outside or when sequestered indoors

Dishes served will be unique Like the alphabet that’s used for Greek Mostly everything will seem exotic It can also make you feel neurotic Put aside those lingering queries Life should be an expanded series If your needle gets stuck in one groove You’ll have less fodder to improve To your friends, you will impart  Stories of sumptuous food and art.

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Shrinking Stinks

One of the surprises about getting older is that for some the world shrinks in different ways.  For some it may be the Interstate Highways that now seem like a racetrack and become something to avoid.  It may be the loss of a long-term home and being surrounded with the comfort of items that are almost like old friends.  Speaking of friends, there is always the horrible experience of losing someone that has been within your comfort circle for a great deal of your life, and that might even include children who because of location or their spouse, aren’t as intimate as they were earlier in their lives.

What do you do when the waistband of a pair of pants is too tight?  Most often, although you wish you could lose weight, you toss them and purchase another pair.  Well, you can’t toss what you have lost, but you can procure a replacement.  

Become involved in an organization that has repeatable options that are staffed with similar people each time.  Rome wasn’t built in a day, neither are friendships.  Thus, the best way to get to know people is to get involved in a soup kitchen, a library book club, or any service organization that has a venue that is weekly or monthly and is usually staffed with a similar set of volunteers.

Join a group that teaches you something you don’t know.  My neighbors want me to learn mahjong.   I’m more likely to learn P\pilates.  But whatever it is, learn something new and you’ll meet an entirely new group of people.

Every town has events. Join the group who organizes an event and again you’ll come into contact with a group of people that you might never come into contact.

Start your own Saturday breakfast club, a walking club, or a let’s bitch about something club.  

Life is like a balloon, fill it with air and it will lift happily towards the heavens.

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What You Learn From Someone Who Is Dying

I recently heard from a person I bumped into while playing golf.  Okay I didn’t literally bum into him, but simple caught up with he and his friend and they asked me to join them.

I noticed a few things about him that seemed out of place, but of course didn’t ask him about it.  When we finished I gave him my www.laughing alltheway.net card thinking he was nearly the age that would enjoy this website.

A few days later he email me telling me that he had three months to live because of an aggressive disease and that this information was good news because he thought he had less time.  Of course I responded back with the following email

I was with delight to hear from you but sadness at what you are going through.  You have given me the impetus to write about conscious dying and I will send it to you when done.

Your future experience is in all our futures.  Many of us don't have the opportunity to tell loved ones our feelings. You do.  Many cannot laugh as they enjoy an outing out with a friend. You can. And many don't have the courage to make new friends.  You are.

While ignorance might be coveted, I learned from my new friend that knowing can be powerful too.

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Why Was I Born?

Out of the quadrillionof atoms floating around It’s a miracle my configuration was found

I believe it was produced by outright fate With the DNA of two that was its bate

For anything to grow atoms take atoms from other places So when they break why doesn’t my shoe grow its laces

Something called electrons are part of the atom’s inside But I’m getting off the subject of why I’m alive

Why was I born needs not to be codified? It’s better if I relax and enjoy the ride

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Are You Getting Clumsier?

Are you dropping or knocking things over?  Are you bumping into furniture?  Were you always a klutz or is clumsiness a normal sign of aging?

It takes a genuine miracle of synchronized muscles, bones, and nerves just to get up and walk across the room.  So many different parts and conditions of our bodies like eyesight, inactivity, fatigue, medicines, over-doing alcohol or drugs, and diseases such as arthritis, muscle weakness and high blood pressure can contribute to clumsiness.  

Is clumsiness a facture in aging?  In some ways yes, because clumsiness is a sign of brain changes in older folks.  Okay, don’t freak out. There are things you can do to stave off this problem.  Here are a few suggestions.

1.         Turn on a light if you get up at night and go to the bathroom.

2.         If you have a pet, don’t leave their toys on the floor.

3.         You might want to evaluate your footwear; flip flops may not be the right shoes to wear.

4.         Do things slower and pay more attention while doing them.

5.         Reduce stress.  Yeah, that’s one suggestion that can help many areas of your life.  I take a yin yoga class twice a week and two or three times a day lie down for 5-15 minutes and visualize stress leaving my body.

6.         Don’t freak out if you knock things over, or if when you raise you arm you hit something.

Aren’t we lucky to have made it to the age we are? 100 or so years ago life expectancy was in the fifty-year-old range.  So what if we have to expect some differences from our younger self.  It’s worth it.

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Use Your Creativity

You’re afraid of what others will say about…fill in the blank and that’s why you don’t do it. Sound familiar?

So many of us have a love of something we don’t do.  In my case, 45 years or so ago I took a painting class and loved it.  And the end of the class, the teacher came to me and said: “Try something else, Nancilee.”  I never picked up a paintbrush again.

However, every time I go to a gallery or museum, which I do, as much as possible, I look at what the artist did and imagine how I would articulate their vision in my own way. And of course I never do.  

Well, after all these years I had an epiphany, late though it may be and it is “Creativity is within not tossed to the world to be judged.”

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The Joy of Snowbirding

When rivers are frozen and there’s white stuff around And you can hear snow crunching underfoot on the ground, And outside your window, if by chance you should look Makes you choose to stay inside to read a good book

August is the time you should go online and pick The place to snowbird to, you’d better be quick Rentals fill up quickly and most will be taken And before you know it you’ll be completely forsaken Ah the joys of being able to circumvent the cold It’s one of the joys of being thought of as old

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Letting Go Is Better Than Denial

As life gets longer there are more things we either wish we didn’t do or things are done to us that make us unhappy, or worse angry.  The kinds of things that we think about over and over or the kinds of things that make us angry or weep.  This is not good.  The best we believe is to deny that this happened, to somehow wipe our minds clean putting the experience underground.  But like a grave, the headstone is always there to remind.

What is best is simply letting go.  Not pretending it never existed but sweeping it away like we do when we launder clothes. The clothes are still there as is the experience but that which makes us sad or angry like dirt disappears.

How you ask?  Just think about all the things in your life that embarrassed you or frustrated you.  Many of them you simply can’t remember, right? You didn’t deny that they happened, you simply need to let it go.

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Driving Back and Forth

One of the benefits of getting older Is that you can get away from a place that’s colder Once a year I go back and forth Driving from the South to the North Then in a few months I go in reverse Many people think that is perverse But I have two dogs and taking a plane Would cause the undo mental strain They’d have to travel underneath I fear they would shake and grind their teeth I’d never be so inhumane To cause them physical and mental pain So twice a year I drive in my car If my dogs could, I’d get a silver star.

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Holidays & Family

Holidays were anticipated with delight when we were younger.  Now that most of us have grown and married children it’s a whole different story.  The first, again for most of us, is whom are they spending the holiday with, side A or side B.  In my family it’s easier.  My son grew up Jewish and he married a Protestant girl.  So, first division is Christian holidays with his wives family and my side Jewish holidays.

However, the rub is that my son has divorced parents, both of whom are Jewish, thus the Jewish holidays are distributed to both his father and me.  But then there’s that wonderful non-sectarian holiday Thanksgiving!  Who gets that? Well in my family it’s easy because his dad’s second wife is religious and I’m not so the religious holiday goes to them and I get Thanksgiving.

Now that that’s settled for my family I’d like to know how you do it in yours.  Let us know, write me at [email protected]

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One Person’s Treasure is Another’s Trash

I recently bought a summer home and had to choose which paintings and art objects to take.  A salient reason I purchased this new home is because my present home is on the barrier island, a strip of land between the ocean and a river off the mainland’s shore.  Since I’m convinced that this strip as well as the cities situated next to oceans will disappear in the coming decades and didn’t want to have to burden the horror of losing my home to a flood, and choose to move before this happens.

That’s when I discovered the volume of items I own.  I removed 43 painting and boxed up 10 cartons of art objects to take to the new dwelling and didn’t make a dent in the overall aesthetics of my old home.   My poor family, what on earth will they do when I die.  Not wanting my art tossed in a trash bin and hauled to a dump and fully realizing that what I loved might not be as coveted by my progeny, I sat down to come up with alternative solutions.

Sign up for my free blog about how to manage the volume of stuff collected over a lifetime without burdening your family or having it tossed in the garbage.

#1 Ask

When I purchased my new home in New Hope, PA there was a sticky note on the dining room table that said “Donna”.  I assumed that Donna wanted that table.  What a good idea to ask you family members if there is anything in your home they would like to have after you’re gone.  Then all you have to do is make a list and put a sticky note on the back or underside of the object.

#2 Charity

Some of us have the availability of a charity thrift shop or event that objects can be given to with the benefit of having them as a tax deduction.  Contact the charity and find out how they want this done.

#3 Retail Shop

One often can find a second hand or antique shop that would give their eyetooth to have some of your stuff.  Contact them, have them come over and identify by photo and name what they want. Ask them for a letter of value for each piece too. Then give your lawyer that letter to attach to your will and give your nearest and dearest that letter too.

#4

Do it now or leave money to have what you deem valuable to be transferred to a CD.  It is far easier to leave 10 CD’s of your stories, postcards, and other verbiage than boxes of papers and it is far more likely it will be listened/watched to then read.

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Unintentional Napping

It seems I nod off during a movie, theater, dance and opera.  I used to stay awake from beginning to end.  Not any more!

What is it about sitting down, and being mesmerized by continuously moving visuals?   Let’s call it unintentional napping.  Is it because the older we get the lighter nighttime sleeping becomes or the fewer hours we sleep? It appears because the older we get the less we experience slow-wave sleep.  What the heck is that you must be thinking?

The respected “Nature” scientific periodical tells us “Slow-wave sleep (SWS) refers to phase 3 sleep, which is the deepest phase of non-rapid eye movement (NREM) sleep, and is characterized by delta waves (measured by EEG). Dreaming and sleepwalking can occur during SWS. SWS is thought to be important for memory consolidation.”

After I read that I thought that’s why I don’t remember as much as I did when younger.  But, back to sleep.  So apparently at night we don’t get as much deep sleep as we used to.  Thus, what triggers unintentional napping or sleeping when we sit down and watch something is natural, is because we aren’t fully rested. Sitting down and being mesmerized by a flickering visuals that slows down rapid eye movements enhances falling asleep.

I’m going to end this blog cause I want to take a nap.  And now you’ll be understanding because you know why.

So when your head hits my chest or the shoulder of the person sitting next to you, don’t feel so bad. It’s natural.

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How Clutter Affects You

The location of clutter in a home often points in the direction of that person's challenges.

Entrance of a home – Fear of new relationships

Inside a closet - Unwilling to examine emotions or deal with the changes happening to you

In a kitchen - Resenting that you need help or your diminished care giving skills

Next to a bed – a wish that you had more options

On a desk - Frustration of not being in control

In a corner behind a door – Lack of wanted to socialize 

Under a piece of furniture - Appearances are important and you lack the energy to be in control of your caring for your home

In an attic - Believes the past is better than the present

In a garage – Wish for life to be easier

All over - Angry at others and self