i haven't written in my blog for a while, because i've been busy. mostly because i'm working about 45 hours a week now, which is great, but also annoying. i guess it's normal full-time hours, but i'm just being a brat and complaining because i'm also training for a marathon and probably about to fall in love with someone i started dating a few weeks ago, so there's a lot going on.
remember how i went on a road trip to miami? yeah. i wrote a whole post during the trip, and i have yet to post it. so here goes.
Before I get too sentimental, I’ll cover various funny parts of the trip. I feel like they’re all very minor things, and maybe you won’t even find them as laugh-worthy as I do. I have a tendency to find very stupid things hilarious, like fat people on motorized scooters, or fast food chains like Waffle House. Therefore, I have made a road trip checklist of things I have experienced/seen, in an effort to communicate the ups and downs of our trip, and the vast cultural difference between the north and the south.
1. Getting pulled over: At around 3:30am on our first leg of the trip to New Jersey, we got pulled over because the cop said we looked “lost.” I’m pretty sure he had nothing better to do, and he may or may not have thought Tor (our driver at that point), was drunk. We were all exhausted and simply looking for a place to stay for the night, and a cop started following us and put his cop lights on when we pulled in to the parking lot of the “Royal Inn,” which was not royal at all and was a piece of shit with a desk attendant who didn’t speak English. Tor was told to get out of the vehicle, and he talked to the cop for about five minutes, apparently about the weather for a majority of the time, then the cop let us go. No tickets, thank god.
2. Scary motels: Side of the highway motels that are not Holiday Inns or Hampton Inns are just like you imagine them. They have stupid names that try to sound comforting and fabulous, and you park and try to speak the front desk person, which in our case was always a shitty intercom box since we were always checking in past midnight.
3. Confederate flags: DON’T WORRY, WE’LL FIGHT BACK SOMEDAY! #Murica
4. The South’s inability to handle inclement weather: During the second leg of our trip, we made a pit-stop in Virginia for gas, food etc. Unfortunately there was a snowstorm that lasted from New Jersey to the tail-end of Virginia, but it was the slushy, wet kind of snow that makes driving terrible and makes everything look ugly and dirty. Experiencing a snowstorm in Virginia made me appreciate Massachusetts’s efficiency on handling massive two feet snowstorms. I might complain about New England winters, but we certainly know how to clean shit up.
5. Fat people and fat people food: Yeah, the south is fat. And they eat at fast food restaurants with names like "Bojangles" and "Shoney's." Obviously I'm stereotyping, and maybe I only chose to see the fat people and laugh at them instead of acknowledging the normal-sized people of the south, but it's more fun to be ignorant sometimes.
At one point we went to a restaurant and ordered sweet potato fries that came with cinnamon sugar butter frosting. So yeah. That happened.
Gas stations are also trashy as fuck. On our way home the boys got a 12 pack of Miller High Life and drank it in the parking lot. Not even a second glance from the people at the station.
6. Forest fire: Yeah. A forest fire on the side of the highway. Nothing spectacular, but it was nighttime and there were flames for about 100m right on the side of the road. No idea why. But we were just like OH SHIT and kept driving.
7. Scary conservative church signs: REPENT OR GO TO HELL!! said every baptist church in the south.
8. Scary meth house: We had to pull over at one point to turn around on the highway. Of course the place we decided to pull into to turn around happened to be this side street with a disheveled shack that was most likely a meth house. Some guy who looked like A$AP Rocky walked out with a jug of what I'm pretty sure was bleach or some sort of household cleaner. Brandon and Tor were just like "OK SHIT NIGGA, SHIT KEEP DRIVING" in their funny black voice they always do whenever they see super hood people. Probably racist, but it's funny.
I'm going to make a part two. There were far too many things that happened on this trip. I am so lucky to have the funniest, weirdest friends who will do these things with me.
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