I know I don’t really post about my personal life a whole lot, but here goes nothing. I’m not trying to be a whiny attention whore but I feel like this would likely be the best avenue to get an array of diverse opinions with the least amount of bias. You know how for YEARS now, I’ve been talking about how much I want to move back to Florida, but I’m too much of a coward to actually do it?
I’ve had my life on hold for like, 4 years now. But now I’m at a point where I have a stable career that pays better and is more secure, and can now afford apartments that are actually semi decent instead of section 8 shitholes. I mean, it seems stupid, to trade guaranteed safety and having my basic needs met for freedom. It’s the whole freedom vs safety debate. I love my mom, her and my stepdad are literally my only human family at this point. I don’t want to abandon them, especially since my mom can’t take care of herself emotionally. She can do all the basic stuff, but she is mentally and emotionally dependent on me being there.
I love my job and they’ve been super understanding overall and will help me relocate and everything, but the problem is that I can only work out of one state at a time, which I guess is understandable from a legal aspect, but how am I going to have time to go back to Atlanta to visit mom and go to my doctors? (I love them too much and don’t want to change) I feel like I’m stagnating here, but I’m so terrified of the unknown, and if I take that leap of faith I can never go home or see my family again. Why? Because my mom said if I move out, she will disown me for abandoning her. If she even survives that long. Again, she’s only 66 and fine physically but she could fall down the stairs or die in a car accident or drink herself to death if I’m not there. Hell, the stress of not having me around could possibly give her a heart attack. My stepdad lives 30 minutes away so he wouldn’t always be there either. Do I get a social worker involved? I apologize for subjecting you all to my neurotic, paranoid ramblings but I literally have nowhere else to turn.
