Ich habe vor kurzem mein erstes, eigenes Buch namens "Kill Me One More Time" veröffentlicht. Es ist ein Romantic Suspense Roman, gefüllt mit einer spannenden Mischung aus Nervenkitzel und Romantik.
Der nachfolgende Link führt euch direkt zu meinem Buch, das es als E-Book und Taschenbuch bei Thalia, Amazon und Co. zu kaufen gibt.
Vielen Dank, dass ihr mir so lange treu geblieben seid, auch wenn ich das Schreiben meiner Fanfictions leider sehr zurückgestellt habe.
Ich würde mich freuen, wenn ihr genauso viel Spaß dabei habt, mein Buch zu lesen, wie an meinen Fanfictions.
Summary: Y/N and Hvitserk finally find their way to each other.
Introduction Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5
“Right now?!”, I furrowed my brow at him, “Weren't you about to go somewhere?”
“I still am.”, he kept grinning, “but now with you as my date – come on!”
He grabbed my hand and pulled me towards him. Multiple senses were suddenly working at full speed. I could hardly decide on which I should concentrate on most. The woody scent of his perfume filled my nose, the warmth of his touch spread not only through my hand, but throughout my whole body, from my feet all the way up to my cheeks, and my vision was filled with his attractive features, his captivating smile, and his pair of eyes in whose pupils I was reflected.
On our way out, he asked me, "Have you ever played billiards?"
"Let's just say I tried once," I smiled awkwardly and shrugged, "why? Is that what we're going to do tonight?"
"Only if you like. We can also just have a snack, a drink..." he suggested.
"We'll see!", I smirked up at him, as he held the passenger door of his car open for me.
Normally I'm not very keen on trying new things and rarely move out of my comfort zone but with him, I thought to myself as he made his way around his car, it's easier for me and I was even looking forward to whatever he had up his sleeve that evening.
Turning the car keys and simultaneously pressing the button activating the seat heating Hvitserk started driving. "How thoughtful.", I thought, sinking into the warming seat.
Who needs a perfectly planned out date when all that matters is the person you spend the date with. Hvitserk made the very spontaneous date perfect, just the way it was. A billiards and dart bar would not have been my first choice for a date night, but it turned out to be the unthinkable best choice. We had the most delicious but also most spicy cheese nachos thanks to the jalapenos. They must have been harvested directly in hell. Luckily, they had milk there. How on earth could Hvitserk eat that without even making a face, except for the moments when he laughed heartily when I fanned myself or took a big gulp of the milk. "Be honest, it's more me than the nachos, isn't it?", he secretly teased me, and I poked him in the shoulder as I emptied my glass. "Oh, shut up!", I said, followed by a laughter. “But you didn’t deny it!”, he grinned at me.
“Which of you two lovebirds is up for playing billiards?”, one of his friends called out and therefore I got around an answer.
And who would have thought that I would also get along quite well with his friends and not just because they let me win at billiards. But seriously now, I'm really bad at billiards. If Hvitserk hadn't helped me so often, I wouldn't have won even then. Although you could have thought I was doing badly on purpose, just to have Hvitserk close to me, to feel his chest against my back and his hands on mine when he showed me again and again how to hold the billiards cue correctly. Who knows? Everything’s possible. We will never know.
Either way, at least I could score true at darts, even without help. So, I honestly earned the drink bought by the loser of the round, which happened to be Hvitserk. "Because you distracted me!" he argues, but I argue otherwise. I may or may not have distracted him purposely by giving him the glad eye.
A few hours and drinks later we left the bar. Hvitserk had kindly offered to drive me home. I did not drink much, however, to get my car and drive myself was too risky at that point. I would go to pick up my car first thing tomorrow, until then it was well kept in front of Ivar and Hvitserk's apartment.
And I was definitely in safe hands, too. I felt so comfortable with him, especially here in his arms, enclosed in what was intended to be a it’s-been-a-great-evening-I’ll-see-you-around-hug.
“Um, well…”, he loosened his embrace, "I guess I'll see you...."
“Actually…”, I started. Standing there, feeling like my heart is about to jump out of my chest, I realized I didn't want the evening to be over yet and most of all I didn't want him to leave just yet.
“Would you like to come in for coffee... or something?”, I asked, hoping the offer wouldn't come across weird.
“If you don't mind.”, he smiled down at me, starring directly into my eyes, “I’d actually love to… come in for a coffee or something.” And there he went teasing me again, didn't he?
“Come on in!”, I said, opening the door to my small apartment, and simultaneously reaching around the corner, turning the light on.
“Make yourself at home!”, I said gesturing to the suede couch, “I'll get us coffee.”
While I waited for the coffee maker to warm up, I heard Hvitserk walking through the living room, stopping here and there, then moving on. He was probably interested in all the embarrassing photos that hung on my walls and adorned my dressers. "Damn, I should have left the lights off," I joked to myself.
Distracted by the loud sound of grinding coffee beans, I didn't notice Hvitserk joining me in the kitchen. I noticed him only when he turned my head to him and kissed me unexpectedly.
Completely caught off guard, I could hardly react, as he already loosened the kiss again. “I’m sorry, I just felt the urge to do it.”, he explained.
I grinned up to him like a Cheshire cat. “Fine by me.”, I said, “to be honest, I wouldn’t mind if you did it again.”
His lips twisted into a smirk before he lowered his hands to my hips, pulling me against him, granting my wish. Again. And again. The butterflies in my stomach went crazy and I felt intoxicated.
He lifted me onto the kitchen counter and his lips worked wonders on my lips and on every part of my skin he could possibly reach at the moment.
"What about the coffee?", I asked breathing out.
“I don't want coffee.", he answered plainly, “All I want is you!” And that I gave him willingly.
When I woke up the next morning, under the warming blanket, nestled against Hvitserk's chest and enclosed in his arms I couldn’t feel any happier.
Slowly and gently, as not to wake him, I looked up at him and thought: “I no longer wish to be her. I am exactly where I belong. Right here. With him by my side.”
Thank you so so soo much for reading. Really, I am so grateful for you reading my stories. I really appreciate it and I don't take it for granted. 💚😇 I really hope you enjoyed reading the last part of “I Wish I Were Her”. Feel free to leave any kind of feedback. 😊
I think it's time to sit down again and write some fanfictions... Today's the day😅 I know it's absolutely overdue, and I'm so sorry for taking this long. Please have mercy with me🙈 Thank you so much for your support and patience! Have a wonderful weekend 💚
Summary: The conversation with Ivar develops in a completely different direction and the evening takes an unexpected turn.
Introduction Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4
Back in my car, I let any feelings, thoughts and impressions run free. I had already wondered why the conversation about Ivar's girlfriend had demanded less of me than it would have days ago. It was also strange that even in the presence of Ivar memories of Hvitserk and me kept popping up in my mind. Most enlightening, however, was my quickening heartbeat and the happiness hormones that went crazy in my body as soon as Hvitserk entered the apartment. Still my heartbeat had not returned to normal and the silence in my car made me take special notice. Who would have thought that a few hours together with Hvitserk, whom until recently I had seen only as the brother of my best friend, would already throw me off track to such an extent? When I thought of Hvitserk now, I thought of a handsome gentleman who always brought a smile to my lips. I would never have thought it possible that he would be the one to surpass the feelings I had for Ivar, which, according to the latest findings, were not nearly as intense as I once thought. Thank God, I didn’t tell him.
While I was driving home, my cell phone rang. "I'll call you back later," I thought to myself, ignoring the constant ringing, since I couldn't answer it anyway while driving, nor did I want to. I was a very careful driver. Shortly after the ringing stopped and no longer drowned out the radio, a short beep went off. Either I had received an email, probably advertising, or someone had sent me a message.
After coming to a stop in the parking lot of my apartment, my first handgrip fell on my cell phone. I was so curious that I couldn't wait to check my phone for any messages. As I glanced at the bright screen, my heart, which had just calmed down, began to beat faster again, this time in shock. Ivar had written to me. "We need to talk!" was the first sentence of the message, which was followed by, "What was it you wanted to tell me? Hvitserk said, it’s something about the two of us". This can’t be true. I knew telling Hvitserk how I felt, once felt, about his brother was a bad idea. I thought I had escaped the unpleasant situation just in time, but I had not reckoned with Hvitserk catapulting me back into it. What was I supposed to say to Ivar now? He will hardly be satisfied with a "it’s nothing", his curiosity was already too much aroused. "Thanks, Hvitserk.", I hissed, grabbed my stuff, and left my car.
The message tone on my cell phone sounded again. "Can we meet tomorrow?", Ivar had texted. I sighed and put my phone away for now, opening the door to my apartment. Frustrated, I threw my jacket over the armrest of the sofa and myself onto it. I'll figure something out. "Sure, I'll come over," I texted back before switching my phone to silent mode and placing it on the coffee table with the screen facing down. Maybe Hvitserk would be home by then too. I almost hoped so, not to reprimand him for his babbling, which I should have been eager to do, but because I wanted to see him. I wanted to be near him.
The next day I found myself sitting in my car again almost as nervous as the day before if not way more, because this time there would be no turning back. I couldn't and didn't want to tell him the truth, but I didn't want to lie to him either. Even if I did, I couldn't even think of a lie that would be remotely acceptable. All I wanted to do was turn around at the next turning point and go back home. I would have holed myself up in my apartment and avoided any social contact. If only I hadn't been in this situation in the first place. If I had just kept my mouth shut, I would have one less big problem.
I parked on the side of the road. As often as I came here lately, I would almost be entitled to my own private parking space, but instead I had to look for a parking space each time anew. After pulling the car key out of the ignition switch, I swung myself out of my car and onto the asphalt, which was dotted with single raindrops. Another one landed on my head. Too bad I'm not made of sugar, otherwise I would have melted on the spot and thus spared myself the evening. Instead, like yesterday, I had to torture myself up to the front door and press that stupid bell. Since it didn't take long for the door opener to be pressed, I assumed that Ivar was already waiting for me. And I was right.
When I pushed the door open, he was already standing in the doorway to the apartment. "Hi, come on in!" he held the door open for me. I just smiled and stepped past him and inside. My gaze was magnetically drawn to Hvitserk, who was just getting up from the couch. He lifted his gaze and met my eyes.
He looked at me.
I looked at him.
"Hey!", he spoke first and at the same time he shoved his cell phone into his right back pocket.
Hearing his deep voice and watching his smooth movements I immediately felt a lot warmer than five seconds ago. I swallowed. “Hi!”
What felt like an eternity was over in a blink of an eye. Hvitserk disappeared into his room, leaving me alone with Ivar. This short moment, however, was apparently very telling. Less for me than for Ivar.
"Is that what you wanted to tell me?" he stepped in front of me and looked at me curiously.
"Huh?", unknowing and curious myself about what he meant, I looked up at him.
"That there's a thing going on between you and my brother."
Speechless. He had completely taken me off guard with that one. I was just speechless and really didn't know what to say in response. If I was already warm a moment ago, I was now practically on fire. I thought about the moments I spent with Hvitserk, whether it was here in the apartment or on our date. I thought of his eyes, which had just attracted me so magically and which wrinkle a little when he smiles. His smile ... and his scent ...
Oh my god, I thought while my heart jumped with joy, I have fallen for Hvitserk.
“I mean I’ve seen how you two look at each other, I noticed it yesterday as well.”, he added.
“He helped me get over you!”, I blurted out. Now he fell speechless.
“I’ll explain it to you!”, I shoved him towards the couch. After we sat down on it, I began to explain to him what had been going on lately and why. My briefly gained self-confidence made me get everything off my chest without exception.
"That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about. To tell you that I'm in love with you." Having just calmed down, he now went wide-eyed again. "Now, though, I'm not sure that's still the case."
“Because you fell in love with my brother?”
I shrugged my shoulders. "At least he triggers something in me that I've never felt before. – Not even with you!", I nudged his shoulder.
"I don't know whether to be offended or relieved right now," he smirked.
Suddenly a door opened behind me and when I turned around, I saw Hvitserk grabbing his car keys, putting them in his jacket pocket and walking to the front door.
"I'm off then!" he shouted in Ivar's and my direction. Before he stepped outside, his eyes met mine. He seemed heavy-hearted. Was it because of me and Ivar?
“Hvitserk!”, I shouted after him, just as the door fell shut behind him. No, I need to talk to him before my newfound confidence leaves me again. “I’m right back!”, I jumped up und rushed to the door, pulling it open a lot quicker than I intended to.
“Hvitserk!”, I said again, keeping him from leaving the building.
“Yeah?”, he turned around and his facial expression immediately lit up. He looked at me with hope, giving me a soft smile.
“Would you go on a second date with me?”, I said frankly and with the door falling shut behind me, my self-confidence was gone. I grew nervous again, expecting a rejection of the finest.
Instead, his smile grew wider until he was fully grinning. “Sure, how about right now?”
Thank you so soo much for reading, I hope you enjoyed reading this part. 😊💚
Have a nice week! 😇
I appreciate any kind of feedback from you guys. 🤗
to anyone out there who’s struggling with having no friends — wondering where you belong in this world, searching for a place to belong — you matter. you are so important. and you will find your people or maybe just a special person who feels like home. it may seem like your loneliness will last forever, but it won’t. it never does.
Name a better feeling than getting the first comment on a fic you were uncertain about and knowing that at least one person liked the tiny piece of your brain that you put on the internet
Summary: Through an extensive conversation, Ivar and Y/N are able to put some insecurities aside for a short time. However, contrary to their hopes, they are not in for a very restful night.
Part 1
(Song mentioned: Rye Whiskey by The Pirates Charles)
I had obviously unsettled him, which was clearly evident in his gaze and in how carefully he held my hands in his. Unsure how to answer his question, I avoided his gaze and looked down at our hands. "Oh Ivar...", I sighed. "What's wrong?", Ivar let go of my hands to take my face into them instead and to make me lift my gaze, "What is it that is troubling you so much?". Like the small oil lamp on the wall, Ivar's blue eyes seemed to glow as well. He looked at me so intensely that I felt tempted to get closer to him even for a brief moment. Remaining silent, I put a hand to his cheek before planting a kiss on his warm lips. Our lips melted together, as if made for each other. Everything just felt right. He and I, our love for each other, all the feelings we triggered in each other. The only thing that cast shadows on our relationship was our fate, sealed from birth. It was hard for me to get involved in our relationship, knowing that it would have no future. It was precisely these doubts that made me break off the kiss, contrary to Ivar's desire. "We can't go on like this, Ivar!", I whispered against his lips. "What are you talking about?" he asked me, also whispering. Obviously, no doubts held him back. He was perfectly happy as long as we were together, and his only concern was being separated from me again. I just wish the same was true for me.
Ivar was about to initiate another kiss when I stopped him by pressing my hands against his upper body. “I know you’re a prince!”, I blurted out looking up at him with sad eyes. For a moment he just looked at me in complete surprise. He obviously hadn't expected it, especially not because he didn't know that I knew about his noble origin. Complete silence dominated the room. Only the whistling of the wind and occasional voices from the dining area provided a certain background noise. "How did..." he paused. Still quite stunned, he fell silent once again. He had to regain his composure first. To do this, he took my hands in his and sat down with me on the edge of the bed. As expected, the bed was as hard and uncomfortable as it looked. Ivar looked down at our hands, stroking the backs of my hands with his thumbs, lost in thought, before taking a deep breath. "How do you know?" he looked up at my face questioningly. "That night, before I left, I overheard the conversation between you and our foster parents," I explained to him, "They were talking about the birth of your brother and, above all, about your mother, Queen Amalie." Ivar listened attentively and nodded, showing that he remembered. “I remember that night as if it was yesterday!”, he spoke up, “but not because of the conversation I had with our foster parents. That night I wanted to spend with you.”, his gaze saddened, “We had finally confessed our love and I wanted nothing more than to be with you, but you were gone. All of a sudden, without a single word, you were just gone.”. I was sorry in my heart to see him so depressed and hearing the story from his perspective made my already guilty conscience grow. “I’m so sorry, Ivar!”, I raised my hand to his cheek, gently caressing it. Temporarily, Ivar lost himself in his memories:
The discussion about my duty to succeed my father, to carry on his legacy, seemed to have no end. I was aware, of course, that as my father's only biological son, I was the only legitimate successor, and I was more than outraged at the thought that a virtual stranger could take my father's place. I honored my father, his proud and heartfelt character, his virtues, his way of ruling and leading the people. I knew him through and through and I loved him as no one else did, not even my mother. It was not without reason that she did not mourn him for long. All the more I despised her and the fact that she illegitimately passed on my father's inheritance to sons who had no connection to him. I considered any arguments that my foster parents brought up to be coherent and quite justified, but nevertheless I opposed them. They were right, I was very much like my father. I hold the same values as he did, and perhaps I did have what it takes to rule a kingdom, but despite everything, I stood my ground. "I'm not going to return there," I said with conviction, "This is my home now! You are my home, Y/N is my home, and I have no intention of leaving, no matter what happens.". I put the bag filled with the earnings I made on the market on the table before I turned back to Elisabeth and Helge. “I understand, you only mean well, and you are right with everything you said, but I will not give up my life here for anything in this world. I have found family here, found friends, found my great love, I will never give that away!”, I said firmly. "You have such a good heart, but, my dear son, please think about it again," my foster mother said as her hand rested on my shoulder. “I made my decision and I’m sure, my father would understand!”, that was all I had left to say regarding this subject. Dear son, whatever you do, do it with your heart. Trust that your heart will show you the right and true path. Once my father had spoken these words to me and I now stuck to them. It was my heart that told me to stay here, here with the people who needed me and with the person I needed and loved like nothing else in this world. Determined to leave my royal life completely behind and devote myself fully to living here, alongside the person I loved and wanted to grow old with, I turned away from my foster parents and headed towards Y/N's room. That night I wanted nothing more than to be by my lover's side, but to my dismay, she was gone.
“The only thing I had left was your letter, saying you love me.”, his eyes reflected how he was still hurting. “I do!”, I exclaimed, “I did love you then and I do love you now!”. Quickly Ivar took my face in his hands again. “Then tell me, what is stopping us from living out our love?”, he stared at me intensely, as if into my soul, “You love me, I love you, that’s all that matters!”. “It would be, if our fates were not this different!”, I still let my doubts blind me, “You are a prince, Ivar and I’m a pirate, needless to say, I'm the daughter of the pirate who killed your father…”. Ivar closed his eyes and let out a sigh. “It does not matter who we are, who we are descended from, or who did what. The only thing that matters is our feelings!”, he let his hands drop to my shoulders while moving closer to me, “We love each other, so let’s just show it!”. His words brought a smile to my lips, which I soon connected to his. On one hand he was right, and our love was not tied to origin or the actions of others. On the other hand, I still believed that our origins would affect the fate of our love. However, I put these doubts on the shelf for a while. The moment between Ivar and me was far too important and intense. Intense in terms of emotional closeness. That night we did exchange many kisses and timid touches here and there, but beyond that nothing happened. Aside from our abstinence, we were just too exhausted from our journey and the nerve-wracking conversation we just had.
In the middle of the night, we were rudely torn from our sleep by a commotion going on inside this guesthouse. Through the thin walls we could easily hear men roaring and individual glasses breaking. Curious about what might be going on Ivar and I jumped out of the so-called bed and made our way out of the room. We walked down the dark corridor towards the dining area, the only room that was comparatively brightly lit. The closer we got, the more sounds we could hear. Men were loudly engaged in conversation, glasses were either colliding with other glasses or the floor, on which they then shattered. We could also hear the woman, who let us to our room complaining about the behavior and carelessness of the men. But what made me stop and listen carefully was the song that a bard was singing. Some men sang along euphorically. The bard sang a well-known sea shanty that I had heard many times in my past and especially when I was a member of a pirate crew: Rye Whiskey.
I'll eat when I'm hungry, I'll drink when I'm dry
If the hard times don't kill me, I'll lay down and die
Rye whiskey, rye whiskey, rye whiskey I cry
If you don't give me rye whiskey I surely will die
Since I had heard this song many times before and secretly liked it as well, I couldn't help but sing along quietly. Sea shanties were the only thing I could stand about piracy.
Ivar and I stopped in the doorway to the dining room. The entire room was filled with men who either held a jug of beer in their hands or had a pretty woman either in their arms or on their laps. Some of them were already drunk, others still had it ahead of them. This situation gave a picture I had already seen too many times. It was easy to assume that we had a whole pirate crew in front of us.
“Well, look at that, two new faces!”, a tall man wearing a tricorn hat stepped out of a dark hidden corner. His chin was adorned with a long beard in which gold accents were braided in and he wore a gold earring on his left ear. Given his clothes, I suspected he was the captain of the crew. “I have never seen you here before.”, he came closer and eyed us curiously, “Who are you?”. With the captain approaching us, the room fell silent, and everyone’s eyes were on us. “The two are new in town, they arrived here yesterday evening”, the women, who was busy filling up the jugs of the men, answered his question in our place. “Ah, I see.”, the man now stood directly in front of us and eyed us from head to toe. A gentleman as he was, Ivar took me under his protection and stepped in front of me. “What’s your place of origin?”, the alleged captain asked skeptically and devoted his attention especially to Ivar. “Y/N?”, suddenly another man stepped up, confronting me personally, “Is that really you?”. Surprised, I looked in the direction from which the voice came. I knew this man. Back then he was a good friend of my father and his navigator on ship. He has aged a bit, after all, many years have passed since I last saw him, and his hair and beard had turned gray. He came straight to me and looked at me closely. And apparently, I haven't changed that much, because after only a few seconds he yelled out with conviction: "Men, this is Y/N, the daughter of Millard 'No Smile' Karn!". Judging by their euphoric shouts, the men seemed to know and appreciate my father.
Unsure what to say or even think I looked at Ivar, and my eyes met his, expressing equal astonishment. What a bizarre situation we have gotten ourselves into.
Thank you so so much for reading, I really hope you enjoyed reading this part.💚😇 As always, I’d appreciate any kind of feedback.🤗
Summary: Y/N gathers all her courage and decides to reveal her feelings, but something or rather someone gets in her way.
Introduction Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 5
In bed, I kept rolling from left to right, to center, and back to the left. Night after night, I found it difficult to fall asleep. As soon as I closed my eyes, either Ivar or Hvitserk robbed me of my sleep. “It’s getting on my last nerve!”, I exclaimed before I sat up letting out a frustrated sigh. “I just want to sleep, is that too much to ask?!”, I yawned. After almost sleepless nights and busy days, I was exhausted as well as tired, but until my mind wasn’t completely at rest, I wasn’t either. The second most difficult question I kept asking myself was: What do I actually want? Do I want friendship or love and most importantly, who do I want? But the very most important question, to which I also did not know the exact answer, was: What exactly do I feel? Was it really love I felt for Ivar or just admiration and deep attachment? And what about Hvitserk? Only a few days ago it was only Ivar around whom my thoughts circled but since the date with Hvitserk he too was present in my thoughts. Whether this also meant that I began to feel the same for Hvitserk as I did for Ivar, I didn't know. Apart from the fact that I wasn't even really sure anymore what it was that I felt for Ivar. It was precisely this insecurity that was to blame for my insomnia. Concluding, the date with Hvitserk was probably not a good idea. It's only since then that the doubts and confusion in my head have arisen.
My alarm clock rang at seven in the morning. It was still dark outside, and the sun would not rise for another hour. Frustrated, I turned off my alarm clock so that the annoying alarm tone would stop. I let myself fall into my pillow, sighing. Now, when I could have easily gone back to sleep, I wasn't allowed to. Emotional chaos or not, I still had to fulfill my duties and according to that, I had to pull myself together and get up so I wouldn’t be late for work. Although I would have loved to doze off for a few more minutes, in the end we all know that there is little point in doing so.
At eight o'clock on the dot I sat in my car and drove off to work. Even after a refreshing shower and a cup of coffee I was still a bit tired, but the rising sun gave me extra energy and as it seemed it also gave me courage, because during the drive I had the glorious idea to ask Ivar to meet up with me. It was time to spend time with my best friend again and in case the courage lasts, I would tell him about my feelings. Maybe that would provide some clarity, on both sides. So, without giving it any more thought and as soon as I came to a stop in the parking lot, I sent Ivar a message with my idea written out. During the morning, we quickly agreed to meet up at 5pm at his home. After work, I would drive to his place.
Rarely in my life have I been as nervous as I was at that moment. "Think first, then act Y/N!", I admonished myself after parking in the parking bay in front of Ivar and Hvitserk's apartment. Only after I had exchanged the messages with Ivar and let the matter sink in, did I fear that I might have acted too hastily. Of course, I still had the option of canceling and postponing the matter or simply not bringing up the particular subject at all, but there was still a shred of my morning courage left that drove me to get the matter over with today. I looked over to the apartment block and up to the floor where his apartment was. The light in the living room was on and briefly I saw someone moving around. “Okay Y/N, you can do this!”, I tried to cheer myself on. Breath in, breath out. My palms were all sweaty and my heart was racing. I'm sure I had a pulse of over 100, that's how excited I was. I rubbed my palms dry on my jeans and got out of my car after another short inhale-exhale session. I just pulled my key out of the ignition before locking my car and walking to the front door. Five minutes before 5 pm, over-punctual, I pressed the doorbell.
“Hi Y/N, come on in!”, after letting me into the apartment building Ivar held the door to his and Hvitserk’s apartment up for me. “Long time no see!”, he grinned at me. “You could say so, yes!”, I grinned back at him as I entered the apartment. Actually talking to him calmed me and me heart rate down a bit. After all, he was and is a sweet guy. This fact alone made me think that no matter what I’d say to him, everything would be fine in the end. “Make yourself comfortable!”, he motioned with his head to the couch, "What do you like to drink?". “Anything non-alcoholic is fine!”, I answered and sat down on the couch. Sitting down I remembered all the times I sat here with Hvitserk. Here on the couch, we had always had good conversations together so far. I smiled to myself thinking about the time we had spend together just sitting next to each other and talking about everything under the sun. “Here you go!”, Ivar joined me with two glasses filled with Coke, which he set down on the coffee table before us. “So, how are you doing lately, I’ve barely seen you around!”, Ivar casually let himself plop down on the couch next to me. Could be because I've secluded myself a bit. “I've been pretty busy lately, with work and stuff.”, I simply answered. Let’s say I intentionally kept myself busy. “Otherwise, I'm doing well so far!”, I bent over briefly to reach for my glass, “And how are things going for you?”. Over the rim of the glass, I looked at him with interest. “Very good, actually!”, he nearly exclaimed. In fact, he looked all satisfied and happy. “I enjoy my work, and everything is going great in my private life, too.”, he smiled at me. “That sounds great, tell me about it!”, I already suspected what he was getting at, but still I asked him. He talked about his work, about his plan to buy a new car and of course about his relationship. Although I was a little uncomfortable hearing him talk about his girlfriend and I would have preferred to hear more about the car he had in mind (although I couldn’t get much out of that topic either), unlike what I expected before, the conversation wasn't that hard on me. Maybe I had already come to terms with the fact that he has a girlfriend, and we are just best friends and will remain as such. "But enough about me. You mentioned that you have something important to tell me, what is it?", he curiously asked and paid me all his attention. I had already completely forgotten that I had mentioned this explicitly and accordingly I was a bit taken aback when he brought up this subject. To calm down my nerves and my increasing pulse I took a long drink from my Coke. Oh dear. How the hell am I supposed to tell him about my feelings, especially after this conversation?! Feeling a bit out of breath I took a deep breath. “Actually…”, I was about to just burst everything out but (thankfully) the sound of the front door opening held me back. Ivar and I turned to the door and no other than his brother entered the apartment dropping his car keys into a small glass bowl, which stood on the shoe cabinet in the hallway. From the moment he had entered the apartment, my heart rate shot up again and I couldn't help but smile. Not only because he had rescued me from a predicament, but also because I was simply happy that he was there. As if in a trance, I watched him hang his jacket on the coat rack. And then he turned in our direction. “Oh…”, he exclaimed just realizing Ivar and I were sitting there watching him. “Hi!”, he simply said. “Hi!”, I simply responded, never turning my attention away from him and neither did he. “Hey brother!”, Ivar greeted Hvitserk, clearly noticing the tension between his brother and me. “Don’t mind me, I’m just going to get myself something to drink and then I’ll leave you two alone again!”, he kindly assured us and made his way to the open kitchen. “No, it’s fine. Actually, I need to get going anyway!”, I quickly took the last sip of my Coke before I got up from the couch. As I jumped up so hastily and without even completing Ivar's and my conversation sufficiently, Ivar watched me in surprise. “I'm sorry, we'll continue the conversation another time, okay?”, I gave him a small smile and grabbed my jacket from the back of the couch, “Goodbye then!”. Before I went to the hallway and out of the apartment, I looked at Hvitserk, who looked at me nearly as surprised as Ivar. From their point of view, it must have been pretty bizarre. I almost fled their apartment, but the situation was just too overwhelming for me. I needed fresh air and above all I needed time to sort the emotional chaos in my head as well as in my heart. On my way out I put my Jacket on and as I finally stepped outside realization hit me like lightning. The date with Hvitserk did work its magic. I’m falling for him.
Back in Hvitserk’s and Ivar’s apartment
Since Y/N left as soon as Hvitserk stepped into the room, Ivar had to think her hasty departure had something to do with him. “Did something happen between the two of you?”, Ivar asked his brother. “I think it’s more about something between the two of you, brother!”, Hvitserk answered, taking a beer from the fridge. When he realized what he’d actually said it was already too late. Ivar had already grown curious. “What do you mean by that?”, Ivar eyed his brother curiously.
Surprisingly, writing this part didn’t take long. I was totally into it, and I hope you’ll be too!🤗 Thank you so so much for reading. I really am incredibly thankful for your support.💚😇 I appreciate any feedback from you guys.
Summary: Y/N and Ivar need to find a way to get ashore as quickly as possible, which turns out to be quite difficult to master, considering the external conditions. Eventually, however, they find a way out of their misery.
Part 1 Part 10
Underwater, I didn't notice any of the commotion on board. I only heard the muffled sound of the lifeboat as it hit the water's surface and as I looked up, I saw Ivar dive into the water soon after. Relieved to see him, seemingly unharmed, I smiled. At the same time, I was worried about him. He shouldn’t be doing this! He shouldn’t be here; he should be up there. The lifeboat alone did not mean that we were safe and had nothing more to fear. Who knows how long the boat would hold out? It would not withstand a violent storm, that was as clear as mud. Just one tiny leak would be enough to sink this boat and, in the worst case, with us on board. So, even with a lifeboat, the chances of survival were not very high, not if we didn't hit land soon, and to be honest, it didn't look like that was going to happen any time soon. If only I had to struggle with the situation on my own, but now Ivar's life was also hanging by a thread. I didn't want that. This was not how it was supposed to be! He didn't deserve this! Feeling that I was running out of air, I swam to the surface. Slowly but surely my lungs were desperate for oxygen. Arrived at the surface, I held on to the small boat and first of all I took a deep breath. Shortly after me, Ivar came to the surface as well and did the same. “Ivar!”, I nearly just whispered, “why did you jump after me?! You might die out here!”. “Then so be it!“, he looked at me determinedly while numerous drops of water dripped from the tips of his hair and ran down his face. “But I don’t want you to!”, I stressed, looking at him worried and sad. “Go back on the ship! Please, Ivar!”, I begged him, “I don’t want you to die!”. “Well, I don’t want you to die either”, totally ignoring my request he tilted the boat a little more to one side, before helping me to get on it. “Ivar”, I whispered his name again, hoping he would change his mind. “If I’m really going to die …”, he swung himself onto the boat, “then at least I’ll be by your side!”.
While I was trying to convince Ivar to get himself into safety, Hvitserk watched us while being held back by two men. “Let them be!”, he spoke up, “You’ve done enough already, you don’t need to kill them!”. “Nobody has the intention to kill them.”, the captain responded clinically, “They’ll die anyway!”. The entire crew watched us as the water slowly carried us away. One of them watched us particularly intently. He was aiming at us, or rather, he aimed at our boat. “Don’t!”, Hvitserk roared loudly and struggled to free himself as the men pulled the trigger, two times. “You have grown soft, son!”, the captain said, despising his son.
Meanwhile, Ivar and I were startled when the bullets hit our boat and left two holes behind. “Oh no! This can't be happening.”, I exclaimed as I noticed water flowing into the boat, slowly but surely. We both looked briefly at the ship, at the crew, knowing that they want to see us dead. As we did so, I caught a glimpse of Hvitserk, who could do nothing more for us than watch us in frustration. But I knew he had done all he could, and I was grateful to him for that, for everything. “Ivar, what do we do now? We have nothing to seal the holes with.”, I turned my attention back to Ivar while I tried to cover the leaks with my hands. “We have to try as best we can to keep the water out. Otherwise, we have to swim.”, he looked at me with concern, “Let's hope to hit land quickly.”. I just nodded.
There we were drifting. In the middle of the sea, on a small boat that was already leaking, with nothing but ourselves. I covered the holes as best I could with my hands, while Ivar, when he wasn't trying to paddle with his hands to make us go faster (to wherever), was scooping out the water that had entered the boat. Since my hands could not close the holes completely, as water is known to get through the smallest cracks, more water gradually accumulated in the boat. Ivar was good at scooping the water out, but even so, some water remained in the boat. With every hour we spent on the water and on the boat, we became more exhausted and thus less attentive. More water got in and remained in the boat and the more water accumulated the heavier the boat became and the heavier it became the faster it threatened to sink. At some point we had no choice but to abandon the boat and swim. At least we couldn't get any wetter than we already were, and the water temperature wasn't too cold. At least we wouldn't freeze to death that quickly. The only thing that worried me was the fact that we were already exhausted and there was still no land in sight far and wide.
“I’m sure we’ll hit land very soon! Don't worry!”, noticing me worrying Ivar encouraged me, “Together we'll make it!”. When I looked at him and saw him smiling at me, I couldn’t help but smile back. I hope you’re right.
A few hours passed and I was getting slower. “Ivar, I can’t go any longer!”, I whispered, just dragging myself forward. “You can! We have never given up, not then and not now!”, he briefly took my hand and squeezed it. To do that he had to turn around and by doing so he became aware of a fishing boat somewhat behind us. “Thank goodness!”, he exclaimed while sighing with relief. As soon as I turned around, I did the same. Although we did not know which kingdom the fishermen belonged to, whether they were friendly or hostile and whether they would help us at all, we did not hesitate for a second and swam towards the boat.
Fortunately, they allowed us to come on board and with that, they saved our lives for the time being. They made a very friendly and helpful impression and even gave us two blankets to dry off and warm up with. They were curious, nevertheless. Ivar and I raised many questions, such as who we are, where do we come from and above all, what are we doing in the middle of the sea, all alone and without a ship. So many questions we didn't know how to answer. We honestly told them our first names and our city of birth but regarding the rest we lied. Still, nobody should know anything about our origin, my existence as a pirate's daughter and Ivar's royal background. Since they could connect our surnames to our origin, we made one up and because telling them that we had previously lived on a pirate ship and been part of a pirate crew was out of the question, we had to come up with an excuse here too. The only problem was that we couldn't think of an excuse. “Um, well…”, I kept humming and hawing, before Ivar spoke up: “We ran away together, got ourselves a boat, but unfortunately it sank.”. In the end he wasn’t entirely lying, and I wished the first part was completely true too. Back then I would have loved to run away with him, although we didn’t even need to. Everyone who knew us had actually wished that we would become lovers, which we almost did, if only I hadn't found out about him being a prince.
“I’m sorry about that.”, the fisherman said sincerely, “May I ask how you found each other, despite the great distance between your birthplaces, and why you were not allowed to be together?”. Even more questions, great. “I used to be a merchant, so I came to her town. That's how we got to know each other.”, Ivar answered convincingly, “and because of my profession, her parents considered me unworthy of her.”. While he was talking, I was looking at him and wishing every single word of him was true. Shortly before he finished talking, he turned his attention to me, and our eyes met. The way we looked at each other completely convinced the fisherman. He immediately saw the love we felt for each other in our eyes. “If I may express my opinion, I think you did the right thing. You belong together!”, he smiled at us before he went back to work.
We looked up from the fisherman and then looked at each other again. I felt he was about to say something to me and about to come closer, but I quickly broke our eye contact. “Well…”, I cleared my throat and kept the blanket wrapped tightly around my shoulders, while staring into space. “We made it.”, I changed the topic. “Yeah, we did.”, he was glad but still he sighed, still looking at me.
A few hours of almost complete silence later the fishermen were done with their work and soon after, they entered their harbor. The evening sun was turning the sky orange and soon it would set and welcome the night. Out of helpfulness and gratitude, we helped them to carry their fishing yields off the boat and into some sort of guesthouse. As we were unknown to the inhabitants and we and our clothes were no longer in the best condition, we were looked at and observed from all sides. Some started whispering and making assumptions about us but that was to be expected.
We put the fish yields in the storage room of the guest house’s kitchen. It smelled anything but fresh in there, but on board of a pirate ship, among men who didn't take hygiene too seriously anyway, one got used to such smells. Nevertheless, I was glad to be able to leave the room without further ado. The rest, the gutting of the fish, was done by the kitchen staff, not really neatly, judging by the fish remains in the room.
Ivar and I were about to leave the guesthouse like everyone else when one of the fishermen called us back. “I suppose you’re in need of a room for the night.”, he was standing at the bar counter, behind which stood a woman whose attention was also on us. “We are, but we don't have any money with us.”, Ivar answered. “Don't worry, I'll pay. After all, you helped us with the work, you should be paid for it.”, he pulled money out of his jacket pocket and put it on the counter, “It should be enough for one night.”. The lady was satisfied with the amount of money and waved us over: “Come, I'll take you to your room.”. She had a very deep voice. “Thank you so much!”, both, Ivar and I thanked the fisherman.
As we were following her along the barely lit corridor, I noticed she was relatively strongly built. She probably ran this place and took care of everything that came up herself. I could imagine how exhausting the job was, especially towards the night, when the majority of the guests were drunk and in mood for a fight. Dealing with this required strength, assertiveness, and stamina.
“Here we are.”, she unlocked the door for us and let us into the room. The room was not very big, and the window was half boarded up. Judging by the noise and the draft, there was a broken windowpane underneath. The room didn't have much more to offer than a rotten wooden bed, but that was quite enough. We were alive, had a roof over our heads and a bed, much more than we had hoped for. “Goodnight.”, the woman said before closing the door behind her and leaving us alone. “Y/N?”, Ivar turned towards me. Just like the corridor the room was barely lit, so when I looked in his direction, I could barely make him out. Only when he came closer to me, closer to the light source, I could see him clearly. He looked down at my hands and took them in his. “Do you mind telling me why you're keeping me at a distance again?”, he asked, raising his eyes to mine.
Thank you so so much for reading and again, Happy New Year everyone!🤗💚🎉
Summary: Hvitserk and Y/N have a date and spend a nice evening together. Will the date actually help Y/N get over Ivar and how will it influence the relationship between Hvitserk and Y/N?
Introduction Part 1 Part 2 Part 4
What did he just suggest? To go on a date with him!? Not quite sure what to respond I asked him to repeat what he said. “Go on a date with me! Perhaps I can help you to get over my brother.”, he shrugged his shoulders seeming all innocent. I could not utter a word. All I did was stare at him dumbfoundedly. “Um…”, I breathed in. “I really appreciate your offer, but…”, I fussed around. Suddenly I heard the church bells ring on the hour. “You know what, it’s quite late. I should get going!”, I dried my somewhat sweaty hands on my jeans before standing up. “Y/N!”, Hvitserk got up after me and calmly called out my name. “It is a request rather than an offer!”, he looked at me, very convincingly and very charming as well. “I’m sorry!”, I apologized embarrassed of everything I’ve just told him, “I shouldn’t have dragged you into my problems! I really didn’t mean to trouble you!”. “You don’t need to apologize! You didn’t bother me at all!”, he said sincerely, “You know what, I’ll forget everything you’ve told me, under one condition…!”. I looked at him questioning and awaiting. “Go on a date with me!”.
Again, I didn’t believe my ears. I breathed in and was about to question his intention again, but he interfered, “No buts!”. It was all silent and the only source of light was the floor lamp next to the sofa whose light made Hvitserk’s face appear golden. I let my gaze wander downwards thoughtfully for a moment before shrugging. “Okay. Why not.”, I nodded at him.
“Great!”, he exclaimed, “I’ll pick you up tomorrow, let’s say around 5 pm, if you’re free then.”, he suggested. “Yeah…, sure, that’s fine by me!”, I somewhat avoided any eye contact. “I see you tomorrow then!”, I abruptly ended our conversation and made my way outside. Hvitserk just grinned at me.
I pulled the door close behind me and breathed in deeply. Did I really just agree to go on a date with him, with Hvitserk, Ivar’s brother, of all people?! I put my hand to my heart. And am I really all bubbly about it?! Apparently, my heart leaped in the air.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
“I don’t know what to wear!”, I felt frustrated, “It’s just a casual meeting among friends…, maybe I should stick with a simple t-shirt, jeans and sneaker look.”. I was on the phone with my best friend while I literally rummaged through my wardrobe and tried on something here and there. “After what you've told me, I don’t think it’s “just a casual meeting among friends”! He explicitly said date, didn’t he?!”, she was correct, “You should wear a nice outfit, a nice dress or somewhat similar! Imagine him taking you to a fancy restaurant and you show up in a sloppy t-shirt! That’s a no-go!”. “You’re right…”, I pulled out a burgundy-colored dress, but shortly afterwards I put it away again, “But I don’t want to get his hopes up!”. One objection after another. “You’re sure about that?”, my best friend questioned my intentions, “Considering the fact that you put so much thought into your outfit, you seem to have some interest in the guy yourself! Maybe deep down inside you, you “want to get his hopes up”!”. I thought about it for a moment, but as quickly rejected that thought again. “Nonsense!”, I exclaimed, “he’s just a very helpful friend, that’s all!”. Through the phone I could hear her sigh. “Believe what you want, but don’t you dare put your foot out the door wearing a shabby t-shirt! At least wear a nice blouse with the classiest jeans and sneaker you’ve got!”, she advised me and eventually I followed her advice.
All ready for the date I sat there on my sofa waiting for Hvitserk to ring to pick me up. I bounced my leg to compensate with my nervousness while continuously checking the time. It was currently 9 minutes to 5 pm. So, I still had 9 minutes left to either regret agreeing to go on a date with him in the first place or to imagine how the date would go. I simply decided to do both: “I should’ve said no… what if I completely embarrass myself in front of him… it's not like I haven't already.”.
The bell rang. I was startled since he was 5 minutes early. That means I had no time left to worry any longer. Maybe it’s better that way. I’ll just take the plunge, what could possibly happen.
I jumped up, straightened my blouse and my jeans, and made my way to the door. After I took one last deep breath, breathing in my own perfume I opened the door ready to greet Hvitserk. Calm down already, he’s just a friend. I reminded myself in my head, but as soon as I took a look at him, his handsome face, his neatly combed-back hair, his very fine outfit, especially at his not completely buttoned up shirt I felt my heart disconnecting with my head. It was out of control, and it was affecting me. “Hi.”, that’s all I managed to get out. It’s obviously off to a great start.
“Hi, you’re ready?”, he said smiling at me. That smile. “Um, yeah, sure!”, I just grabbed my purse before I made my way outside closing the door behind me. Hvitserk has parked his car right in front of my entrance. He even held the door open for me. Very charmingly. “Thank you!”, I thanked him and got into his car. I buckled up and waited for Hvitserk to get into the car as well. As soon as he started the engine, he made sure I was warm enough by turning the heating on. “So, are you hungry”, he asked me while fastening his own seatbelt. “Kind of.”, I watched him. “What do you wanna eat then?”, he placed his hands on the steering wheel and looked at me questioning, but as always, I had no idea. “What about pizza? I know a great Italian restaurant nearby.”, he suggested. “Pizza is always a good choice!”, I grinned, which made him grin too. “Then let’s get going! We need to recharge our energy for what I have planned for today.”. “Which is what exactly?”, I asked him curiously looking outside while he was driving. “I won’t tell you yet!”, he laughed, “Let’s grab something to eat and then I’ll tell you!”.
As soon as we arrived the smell of pizza and pasta rose to our noses, and I instantly became hungrier. Thank God it didn’t take long for the ordered pizza to be served. While eating we kept the conversation going and talked about various topics. It didn’t feel awkward anymore. It actually felt nice being with him, enjoying dinner together and talking about literally everything under the sun. “Y/N!”, I gave him a confused look. “You've got some tomato sauce on the corner of your mouth.”, he pointed out to me slightly grinning. “Oh!”, I exclaimed and instantly reached for my napkin. “By the way, you look stunning today!... As always of course!”, he complimented me while I was busy wiping away the tomato sauce. I couldn’t help but beam while a pleasant feeling spread inside of me. “Thank you! I can fully return this compliment!”, I was still beaming and not able to hide it. For a moment we just looked at each other widely smiling.
That smile only faded when he told me what he had planned for the rest of the evening. After he had paid the bill and we made our way back to his car he told me he wanted to take me to a climbing gym. I had obviously not expected that. “If you don’t want to, that’s totally fine!”, he reassured me, “but I’m sure it’ll be fun!”. I thought about his idea for a while, considering the fact I haven’t done this before. Nevertheless, I had the feeling that it could really be a lot of fun, so out of the feeling I agreed to go climbing with him. And just to be clear, I haven't regretted the decision for one second. In fact, it was a great experience, and I was grateful to him for making me try out something completely new.
I was sitting on a couch in the lounge room of the climbing gym waiting for Hvitserk to get us a refreshing drink. “So, how was it?”, he asked as soon as he came back holding two cokes. He sat down next to me and handed me one coke. “It was great!”, I responded. “I’m relieved to hear that! So, you would do this again someday?”, he asked me, and I looked at him a little perplexed. “Yeah, sure…”, I answered slowly. What is he getting at? “Perfect, I’ll keep that in mind!”, he grinned and took a sip from his coke while I watched him doing so smiling to myself. And he noticed it which made him smirk.
Contrary to expectations, the evening with Hvitserk was very nice. I enjoyed every second and most of all I had fun. Hvitserk always made sure I had enough to laugh about. He really is a great guy. On the way back I reflected on the evening’s experiences and impressions, and I had absolutely nothing to complain about. Here and there I glanced over at him and watched him concentrating on driving. I slightly began to see him in a new light.
When he parked in front of the entrance to my apartment, I felt slightly sad. Looking back, the evening passed far too quickly, as good times usually do.
“Thank you so much for the evening!”, I thanked him while he accompanied me to the door. “Always happy to do it again!”, he said, looking down at me. “Is that an invitation?”, I asked, partly seriously partly joking. “If you want it to be one!”, he sounded completely serious, and I grew nervous again. Do I? Do I want to go on a date with him again? “Maybe.”, I and my head responded while my heart screamed out a definite "yes". He let out a quiet sigh and I clearly heard it, since no other sound drowned it out. “At least that’s not a no!”, he said smiling although he sounded slightly disappointed. I instantly felt sorry for being this stubborn and felt the urge to make it up to him. “It’s definitely not a no! I really had a great time today!”, I reassured him and brought a grin back to his lips.
Then we stood there. Not really knowing how to say goodbye. At least I wasn’t exactly sure about what to do or say.
“Well, then I suppose I’ll see you around!”, he spoke up first. A simple goodbye is what we are used to after all. “Sure!”, I smiled up at him, before our ways parted, physically but not emotionally. And then there was still Ivar, who was also scurrying around in my head.
Thank you so much for reading. I hope you enjoyed the third part as well. 🤗🧡
I wish you all a wonderful holiday season! I hope you get to spend a lovely and peaceful Christmas with your loved ones (even if it's just in your heart❤).
Stay safe everyone!😇💚
If you're wondering when I will post a new part of one of my fanfictions, I can tell you I'm on it!🤙
Summary: While the one problem seems to be solved and Ivar and Y/N have gotten closer, another and much greater problem occurs, which could interfere with Y/N’s plans.
A/N: I’m sorry for taking this long!🙈 Anyway, I hope you enjoy the eighth part of “Love Finds Its Way”. 🤗🧡
Part 9
Hvitserk watched us while Ivar and I were slowly coming out of the water. Ivar walked in front of me to hide my naked body, because neither he nor I wanted Hvitserk to see me naked. However, Hvitserk didn't seem to care. He was visibly dissatisfied with the overall situation. “We're going to set sail today, so get dressed and come to the ship! Hurry up!”, He informed us. Before he left, he gave us the evil eye. That was all. He probably didn't know how to deal with this situation and neither did I, and while Ivar and I were getting dressed, I recalled the last few minutes. I've completely thrown my principles overboard. I got involved with Ivar even though I wanted to avoid that at all costs. All efforts to avoid him were for the birds. I allowed us to get closer again and thereby I revealed my feelings for him. It was impossible and at the same time immoral to back down now. It happened and now I had to take the future as it comes. It was my own fault, and I blamed my lack of self-control.
"Do you mind telling me the truth now?", Hvitserk pulled me aside and asked me privately. "You've known each other for a long time, haven't you?", He concluded, and I agreed. "How do you know each other?", He asked, and I answered him honestly. Hvitserk would know if I lied, so I told Hvitserk about Ivars and my relationship, told him about our separation, without mentioning the exact reason why we separated in the first place. Nobody and certainly no pirate should know about Ivar's noble origins. Hvitserk was a confidante, but he was a pirate, nonetheless.
“You were lucky that I’m the only one who saw you two! If the others find out that you are a woman and have been deceiving them all along - when my father finds out, then that’s it for you!”, He warned me. “If you want to find your family, you mustn't take any risks! Otherwise, I can't help you any further!”, He added, and I nodded understandingly. During the conversation, however, none of us suspected that my secret was no longer safe.
Hvitserk wasn't the only one who witnessed what Ivar and I did and found out about me being a woman. Robert, a member of the crew, had followed Ivar.
Since Ivar hadn't been a member of the crew for long, he didn't trust him yet and therefore he kept an eye on him. This way he caught wind of my secret and as a faithful sailor it was his duty to make a report to the captain.
Unsuspecting, I went back to the ship together with Hvitserk and Ivar. Where I had left all of the sleeping sailors hours ago, only the campfire, which had long been extinguished, was to be found. All but the three of us were already on board and they were busy preparing everything for the upcoming departure. On board of a pirate ship every sailor had to lend a hand and any loitering had consequences, so we did the same as the others as soon as we were on board. Fortunately, everyone have had a sewing meal and a good night's sleep. This way, any work got done much faster. With the helmsman at the helm and us following the orders of the captain, we went back to sea. Little did I know that the captain knew exactly what was going on between Ivar, Hvitserk and I and what I was hiding, and thus I wasn’t prepared for the penalty that I would be facing soon. Like everyone else, I noticed the captain's darkened mood, but I did not connect it to myself. The scornful looks he threw at me were also so well camouflaged that I didn't even notice. I was more focused on Ivar. He and the memory of what had happened in the morning knocked me off my feet.
I thought of Ivar's hands running down from my cheeks, over my shoulders and arms to my hips. On the way downwards he had hardly left a spot untouched, and my skin had tingled pleasantly under his touch. As soon as Ivar had wrapped his arms around my waist, I had wrapped my arms around his neck. We stood inside the sea, hugging and kissing. Although the water was very cold, we were anything but cold. Our bodies heated up from inside out and we warmed each other with only our body heat. We could have stood there for hours if it hadn't been for Hvitserk, who rudely tore us apart with his shouting, nearly as roughly as the captain tore me out of my thoughts. Like son like father.
The captain stood on the upper deck and looked down at his sailors, although I had the feeling that his serious looks were mostly directed at me. "Men!", He shouted, drawing all attention to his intimidating figure. "It seems there is a swindler among us!", Everyone immediately looked around questioningly and suspected the person right next to them. I just swallowed, hoping his words weren’t directed at me.
The captain stomped down the stairs in silence and his focus was now solely on me. I continuously shifted from one foot to the other and looked imploringly up to Hvitserk, whose gaze went back and forth between me and his father. Confused by the situation and clueless he stood on the upper deck, where he and his father had just determined the sea route, we were meant to follow. Hvitserk had the say in many situations, but if his father, the only true captain, had seen through me, he would be hogtied too. The captain's word still carried more weight than Hvitserk's.
When I looked back at the captain, I winced. The captain stood right in front of me. We were only a few centimeters apart and he looked at me closely, studying my features and my conscious and unconscious reactions to what was happening. He was all silent before he grabbed me by the shoulders a short moment later, as if out of nowhere. "Don’t you have something to say, woman?", He hissed right at me. He knows it. Even if I had been able to, I couldn't move, I was completely speechless and I caught my breath. I was completely beside myself. The captain tore my hat off my head and turned me harshly towards the crew. "This woman has been fooling us for over a year now and pretended to be one of us!", The captain explained to the crew, who immediately insulted me, apart from Hvitserk and Ivar. Instead, Ivar stepped forward to defend me, but with a knife at his throat he was silenced for the time being. "Some men have already been seduced by her, including my own son!", The captain exclaimed and pointed with his sword in Hvitserks direction. Both father and son looked annoyed, but Hvitserk made no reply to his father, knowing very well that any objection would make the situation get worse. “What shall we do with this woman, huh?”, The captain asked the crowd, and I slowly gave up any hope. A number of suggestions were made. Dirty suggestions like “Let's take advantage of her!” but also murderous suggestions like “We'll feed her to the sharks” were mentioned. Some also favored a combination of these two. And I realized again how bad and horrific piracy actually was.
"Do you really want someone who took care of everyone's health and treated everyone's wounds to be treated this vilely?!", Hvitserk objected. “Traitor!”, A sailor called out to him. In a rage, Hvitserk hurled a knife in that sailor’s direction and deliberately hit the stake, which was only inches apart from the sailor's face. In this way Hvitserk brought out that he obviously had more pull.
"Very well.", The captain sighed, "we'll send you over the plank.". That’s it, then. Without a boat in the middle of the open sea and no land in sight, I was doomed to die and there was nothing I could do about it.
The captain had let go of me and one of the sailors, James, whose injuries I had treated countless times, was now pushing me forward towards the plank. On the way there I looked at Ivar, who was still being forcibly and life-threatening restrained. On the one hand, I was mad at him, and I blamed him for being exposed, but on the other hand, I wanted to let him know how much I loved him. This is my last chance. "Ivar!", I said, and our eyes met. "I love...". "Shut up!", James interrupted me, suddenly pushing me onto the plank, and I struggled to keep my balance. “Go forward, woman!”, The captain commanded, and the sailors rejoiced. Looking down, I slowly walked to the top of the plank. The water lashed against the edge of the ship. It was so dark I couldn't see what laid in wait for me. Even if a shark wouldn’t be after me, sooner or later I would still freeze to death or drown from exhaustion. Either way, I was going to die. What I didn't know was that there was still another option for me to die.
Behind me, someone drew his pistol and unlocked it. The plan was to shoot me before I could even jump.
The shooter pulled the trigger.
But he missed me because shortly before shooting he lacked the life energy to aim. "Jump!", Hvitserk shouted and while I followed his order, he acted quickly. He cut the ropes to the yawl and let it drop into the water. After this was done, he took the sailor who was holding Ivar back to task. He pulled him back and held his knife to his throat. "Go!", Hvitserk signaled Ivar, helping him to follow me.
I just wanted to mention that I finished writing part 8 of "Love Finds Its Way". I just have to finish the translation of it. Hopefully I get it done by tomorrow evening. Fingers crossed!🤞🧡
Thank you all so so much for your patience. I know it really takes me too long to post the next part. I'm sorry. 🙈
Summary: Getting over Ivar turned out to be a lot harder than Y/N had hoped. Y/N thinks about two options, she could try out. Will one of these two options actually work out?
Introduction Part 1 Part 3
I had so much fun spending time with Hvitserk that I not once thought about Ivar for the rest of the day. I nearly was glad he stood me up, otherwise I would’ve never known how much fun his brother is. I wasn’t mad at Ivar until I received a message from him around noon the next day. Obviously, it’s been a long night for him. “I’m sorry I had to cancel our meeting. I’ll make up for it! I promise!”, he wrote and added a cute smiley face at the end. “Yeah, whatever.”, I spoke to myself while rolling my eyes at his message. I wasn’t in the mood to answer him right away, so I put my phone aside and decided to answer him as soon as I calmed down a little.
Easier said than done. The message got me all hyped up again and thoughts of him and that girl nearly broke my nerves. A few minutes ago, I was all happy and satisfied after the nice evening I spend with Hvitserk and now I was preparing lunch, rather roughly cutting the vegetables while fretting about Ivar and his new love interest. Clearly, I was jealous of her. “I bet they were all lovey-dovey yesterday. Considering the time he texted me, they had a nice evening, probably even a nice night together. Well, good for her!”, I grumbled to myself and chuck the vegetables into the pan.
While the vegetables were roasting, I browsed through several dating apps looking for a potential date. I needed to move on and get over Ivar as soon as possible, so I decided to pull myself together and give these online dating platforms a try. Why not? It can’t get much worse than a total flop, right? My goal was to eventually fall in love by which means I would see Ivar only as my best friend and no longer as something he will never be to me.
Eventually, after a lot of swiping to the left, I agreed to meet up with someone. Judging by the photos he uploaded he was a very handsome young man and the conversation we had was also very promising. At least I was confident about this date not being a total flop. The operative word is was.
In the beginning everything went well. We had a nice meal and a nice conversation at a lovely restaurant. So far, he made a good impression, and I must admit in real life he was way more handsome than on his pictures. A really good catch. I thought.
I cheered too soon. After we finished our meal and left the restaurant, we decided to go to the cinema nearby and watch a movie. We bought the tickets to a random movie and went into the almost empty cinema hall. Since we were still very much full, we didn’t order anything to drink nor to eat. We, or at least I just wanted to end the until then nice date as cozy as possible. He on the other hand had other plans. As soon as the lights went off, he started touching me and tried to get me into the mood. Immediately I realized that he didn’t intend to find the love of his life like I intended to, but to find someone to hook up with. “Would you please stop!”, I said to him while pushing his hands away. Since I wasn’t up for that, I abruptly ended the date and left him sitting there startled. Obviously, we weren’t on the same page.
“What was I thinking? It would have been too good to be true!”, I ruffled my hair and left the cinema all disappointed (more in myself than in him). I should’ve known better. Getting over Ivar by forcing myself to fall for a random guy was a nice try, but obviously it didn’t work out. “Maybe I should talk to him!”, I decided to pull myself together and be honest with him. “He will turn me down, but maybe then I can put the whole “I love my best friend”-thing behind myself.”, I thought. No sooner said than done. Almost.
I got into my car. Thank god I insisted on driving by myself and convinced him to just meet me at the restaurant. I started the car and drove to Ivar’s apartment.
I arrived quite late and from the outside of the building I couldn’t count even one light which was still switched on. He might’ve been sleeping already, but I didn’t care, I just wanted to get my confession over and done with as soon as possible. So, I rang the bell. One time. Twice. And one last time. After the third time a rather angry voice rang out of the intercom: “Who’s there and what the hell do you want?”. It wasn’t Ivar’s voice, it was Hvitserk’s. Oh dear. I felt my cheeks redden out of embarrassment. “Here’s Y/N! I’m so so sorry! I didn’t want to bother you.”, I apologized. “I just need to talk to Ivar. It’s important. Is he home?”. “It’s okay.”, his voice didn’t sound angry anymore, “come upstairs.”. He let me in by pressing the door release button.
I went upstairs unconsciously smiling and was greeted by a shirtless Hvitserk, who seemed to be still half asleep. “Ivar is in his room, but he’s on the phone with someone.”, he informed me while letting me in. “Oh, okay, then I’d rather come by tomorrow.”, I said and turned halfway towards the entrance. “I thought something important came up?!”, he looked at me questioning. “Well, kind of.”, I shrugged. Him standing there shirtless throw me for a loop. “Why go then?”, he laughed and led me into the living room. “Make yourself at home!”, he said and grabbed a shirt, which was thrown over the backrest of the sofa. “thanks.”, I stumbled and sat down on the sofa while secretly watching him putting his shirt on. I must admit, I liked the view. Either way, with and without the shirt.
“Do you want something to drink?”, he asked. I shook my head. “No, thank you.”, I declined with thanks. “Okay, then, what’s so important that it can’t wait till daytime?”, he curiously raised his eyebrows while grinning. At first, I didn’t want to tell him the truth, after all he’s Ivar’s brother. So, I risked myself with careless talk. I couldn’t make up very believable excuses this quick and eventually told him the truth. I don’t know why, but I trusted him. “I already tried to get over it by going on a date, but it didn’t work out as I hoped it would.”, I confessed. He nodded understandingly. “Well, I don’t think it’s a good idea to tell him.”, he said, “things would get awkward between the two of you!”. “I know, but….”, Hvitserk interrupted me. “Maybe your first idea isn’t that bad at all. You just have to go out with a much nicer guy.”, he suggested. “Easier said than done!”, I snorted. “Go on a date with me then!”, he grinned.
I really hope you enjoyed the second part of “I Wish I Were Her”.🤗🧡
