i'm broken, unfixable

my name is piper campbell. i am nineteen years old. several years ago i lost my best friend, my protector, my partner in crime; my brother. things haven't really been the same for me since then. and now i'm here. in this freaking hospital to "get better". fuck it, i don't want to get better i want my brother! x

[nervousnotion]

   I’m not F E A R L E S S

[brokxnking-deactivated20141017]

“Well that’s reassuring to know.” He chuckled lightly. “The funny thing is, I think I would parade around wrapped up in bubble wrap. Just to know what it’s like.”

[its-piper-campbell]

"I can see how tempting that would be. To be honest, I think I would try it too." she shrugged, "I'd probably end up getting distracted through. Bubble wrap is kind of a weakness of mine. It's cheap entertainment. I would sit and pop every bubble and be perfectly content."

[brokxnking-deactivated20141017]

“Unfortunately I’m neither in Narnia nor on a broad selection of pills. But I’ll take your advice and maybe wrap myself up in bubble wrap… or something.”

[its-piper-campbell]

"Which brings me back to my comment about not watching where you are going. Don't worry, it happens to the best of us." she noted while tucking her book under her arm. "Bubble wrap? Now that's something I would love to see. Just the thought of someone parading around wearing a bubble wrap suit is just hilarious."

[brokxnking-deactivated20141017]

“I don’t know. The first option is quite possible as well.” Speaking softly as he braced his arm.

[its-piper-campbell]

"Yeah. Maybe in the land of Narnia. Or if you are on as many pills as half of the people in here. Then sure, it's plausible. For future reference though I think you should just avoid the walls completely. Might actually save your life."

[brokxnking-deactivated20141017]

         ”Fuck.. where’d that wall come from?”

[brokxnking-deactivated20141017]

[its-piper-campbell]

"Maybe it constructed itself just to irritate you. Either that or you weren't watching where you were going." she paused, "I think the second one seems more logical."

[sweet-syrup]

[its-piper-campbell]

"To me, my mind is a much scarier place than the screwed up world that surrounds my body.”

[anotherdeadson]

             ❝ Do you always listen to what people advise against? ❞

He’ll chalk it   up to simply being bored.   He’s not grilling her, by any stretch of the imagination, but he’s curious. Tate leans back against the couch and gets comfortable—- rests one ankle over the   opposite knee and   drapes an arm over the back of the cushions.   There’s a glint of something   in his gaze and a  smirk remains   painted over his features.   Okay; maybe he’s toying with her just a little.

[its-piper-campbell]

"Well do you always ask this many questions?" Piper pushed the book down into the side of the chair as she let her legs fall down to the floor. Her converse colliding with the wood. Adjusting herself so she was no long slouched down into the high back chair she continued to study him. Her eyes narrowed but let up a little. "But no. I sort of have trouble with authority. You could say we're like oil and vinegar. They want one thing and I do the opposite."

[anotherdeadson]

             ❝ Oh—- that’s a good one. ❞

He is most definitely thinking   about taking the book the second she leaves it someplace  where it’s not being looked after.   He’d read   The Shining back when  he was in high school and he still had a future ahead of him—— he’d liked it a lot, if he remembered right.  His memory of life is a little spotty nowadays.   Tate moves around the chair she sits   on and takes a seat on the couch that sits opposite, a brow arching in her direction.

                                        ❝ Why? Does this place scare you? ❞

[its-piper-campbell]

Her eyes fixed on the blonde who settled across from her. His demeanor curious. "No, it doesn't exactly scare me." she started, "There are just some people around here who would advise against it." Piper shrugged her shoulders. She had heard plenty of stories about the house turned hospital during the duration of her treatment. Whether she believed it or not was a entirely different story.

[its-piper-campbell]

Afraid of the Shadows | Piper && Zac

[terminally-comedic]

There was so much pain in the world and this house, this place that never quite felt like it belonged on this plane of existence, seemed to often feel as though it were the epicenter of it all. Zachariah couldn’t save anyone, he couldn’t even save himself but that didn’t keep him from trying especially when it came to the ones he loved. Piper didn’t deserve this place, she deserved a caring center for recovery not a virtual torture playground for the sadistic medical staff falsely parading as wanting to help — they had fooled him and his father when he was first admitted here and now this place was going to be his tomb, he just knew it. Cradling her against the wavering strength of his chest, his own heart hammering against his ribs almost painfully as his heart ached for her. “Easy, I’m right here… I’ve got you…” Murmuring through the unwelcoming darkness of her room. This darkness wasn’t like the halls they had been sneaking through the other night laced with speckled stained glass shadows kissed with rain, this darkness was suffocating.

The warmth of her breath and her tears against the fabric of his shirt reminded him that she was still with him, she was still alive even though she might not have wanted it at the time. When she rushed him he toppled onto the floor with his back now pressed against the wall and her practically in his lap. An arm draped around her lithe waist and his other hand streaming through her dark tresses. He just wanted to hold her, he just wanted to absorb her pain into himself so that she wouldn’t have to carry it anymore but all he could do was wish for all of that while he held her.

[its-piper-campbell]

The youngest Campbell child had been a complete hypocrite. Always pestering her older brother to rid himself of his terrible habits but, in turn, she had gone down the same dark past. For years she would beg Wyatt to try everything in his power to turn his life around. To fix the harm he not only had inflicted on himself but on others as well. Including Piper. As she sat there in the arms of her best friend all she could think about was how she should have tried harder to listen to her own advice as well. It was a reoccurring thought and every time it floated to the surface of her brain she did the same thing; made excuses. Not even good ones. Just ones that seemed slightly better to deal with. Though getting high was the only way she could deal with all the thing that had gone so incredibly wrong in her life. Or that it was easier and it prevented her from coping with it. All she knew was that it help, even if it was temporary. Only one other thing had the ability to make things seem less screwed than they truly were and that was the time she spent with Zac. He gave her that same euphoric feeling, if not better, than a line of coke. He always looked beyond her flaws. He talked to her on the same level instead of belittling her like so many others around her did. 

Collapsing along with him, she continued to adhere to his shirt. "I'm so fucked up." she said, slightly muffled, into his chest. Piper's head felt as if it was spinning out of control. A direct reflection of her life at that point in time. Trying to stabilize her breathing she looked up at him. "You should have to deal with this.." The embarrassment grew slightly unbearable. She could feel the heat boiling up and soaring to her cheeks. Piper had never ever wanted him to see her in her lowest point. He didn't deserve that. She only wanted him to see the 'happy' side of herself. The side that could hide away all of her problems with out bursting at the seems. Of course he had enough to fret about. He had his own problems. He didn't need hers too. 

[its-piper-campbell]

Afraid of the Shadows | Piper && Zac

[terminally-comedic]

The only thing that separated this place from a prison was the fact that there were no guards on constant duty to ensure that the patients remained in their rooms after lights out was called which had been hours ago. Come on, being a teenager was all about overstepping boundaries and disobeying authority — rules were made to be broken, he heard that in a Spice Girls song once upon a time when he had been just a normal kid in a normal school being subjected to the bopper British pop sensation of a classmate. He remembered her, Susan Barnes, she always wore different colored ribbons in her obscenely red hair and she gave him a massively huge card when his mother died. He remembered everyone, perhaps it was just having a good memory or perhaps it had something or everything to do with the fact that he was dying of the very same disease that was slowly eating him into nothingness and had taken his sunshine of a mother away from him and his dutiful father he knew was just trying to be strong but, like Zach, was angry jagged painful pieces inside.

The rule he was breaking tonight was the one he always broke, staying in his room after the nurses performed their rounds which meant he had at least an hour before they did them again. His veins burned from the most recent bout of chemo therapy — God, why did they call it that? Therapy. It wasn’t soothing in the slightest and he sure as hell didn’t feel better after it. Instead he padded bare feet down the hall wearing his simple dark blue pajama bottoms and a white tshirt and his hair tussled from his attempts to fall asleep by rolling around among the sterile sheets for a bit. If he got caught not only out of bed but in the room of a female patient he would have gotten in trouble but, really, who was going to scold the dying kid? Sneaking into her room he saw all the lights were out which was to be expected given the ungodly hour it was but the moonlight pooling through the window offered enough for him to see that she wasn’t in bed. Frowning a bit he wondered if she had gone out somewhere without him but they did almost everything together. “Pepper…?” Whispering through the crushing darkness of the room. Catching a glimpse of a figure in the corner of the room curled in on itself he paused and his black-rimmed glasses slipped farther down the bridge of his nose a bit. This place and the assortment of medications he was on had a tendency to play tricks on the mind but he knew that figure anywhere. “Aw, Pipes…” The tones fell to mournful as he crouched in front of her and soothingly rubbed her upper arms. “Hey, c’mere… please…” He just wanted to hold her, he just wanted to somehow make everything better, save her because he couldn’t save himself.

[its-piper-campbell]

Her eyes traced over every single inch of the room. Taking it all. Trying to set it right in her mind that nothing was different. Though going through withdraw did crazy stuff to your mind and senses. To be truthful, Piper could actually tell what the shape of her own hand was. With her vision impaired it only heightened the terror she felt inside of her room. As she glanced up at the ceiling it looked as almost as if it were about to coming crashing down. To here it seemed like it was gradually pushing it's was closing to the floor. Tightly, she squeezed her eyes shut. Almost to the point of tears which began to well up beneath her lids. Upon opening them once more she finally saw what was real. The ceiling hung in it's normal position. With that being more clear it only created more room for everything else. The darkness that was cast over her room like a blanket was the most difficult of all. Even when seen with healthy eyes shadows came alive. Especially out of the corner of your eyes.

Hearing the footsteps from the hall drawing in she couldn't help but think it was a nurse or a doctor coming to investigate. They know! they know I'm out of my bed. That I'm sick. They are going to find out. Her thoughts were loud within. A pounding started in her chest. Throbbing rapidly. She could hear it in her ears. The distant sound of marching. It began to match up to the footsteps she heard just beyond the door. Placing her hands over her ears and closing her eyes once more. This time even tighter than before, or so it felt. Her fingers cupped the side of her head. Dark hair falling forward as she tried to drowned out drumming. The next thing she knew something was touching her arms. Instantly her body tensed. All she could think about was how much she wanted to yell his name. To call him to her rescue. Dreading opening her eyes in fear she would see a white lab coat draped in front of her. Just then a voice was soft yet manageable through her grip. It seemed so far but then jolted back again. As if she were coming out of a coma. Almost disembodied. Like it was coming from inside of her own mind. Gradually she unclenched one eye. Letting it part ever so slightly. It was blurry and hard to make out who was before her. His voice continued to resonate louder. Something like she was coming to the surface of the water and everything was becoming more clear. After a few seconds her eyes adjusted and she could see his face starting to come together. "Zac...?" she started, "Zac!" Her hands falling from the sides of her head to his arms. Part of her wanted to cry. The other part just wanted to latch on to him and never left go. So she did both. 

Flinging forward she wrapped her arms around his neck. Her breathing never settled. Still staggered along with her pounding heart. As the tears began to fall down her cheeks it left small stains on his tshirt. Eventually forming a damp puddle on his shoulder.

[its-piper-campbell]

Afraid of the Shadows | Piper && Zac

Long was a drastic understatement to describe the night Piper had experience. Though to some the night was still currently ongoing. It was in the wee hours of the morning. Rough around three o'clock. At least it was the last time the brunette's eyes had caught a glimpse. Her time for slumber consisted of the exact opposite. Ever since she was admitted into the hospital she was supposed to be under going detox from all of the harmful things that had been over taking her body. Though she was determined to avoid the enviable by finding just about everything she could to prevent her high from dying out. That was until she couldn't find anything that lasted past a few hours. So every night was the same thing. Chills, sweats, hallucinations. The works. However tonight, in particular, was worse. Normally Piper could tell the difference between what was and wasn't actually there but as she sat in the corner of the room she couldn't decipher anything.

Back pressed up against the cool wall, Piper's legs were pulled up to her chest. Her decision to sit in the corner was brought of by the thought that something was under her bed. The fear took over her mind until finally she just had to jump off. She figured if she put herself in the darkest part of the room the rest would seem more lit so she would be able to see everything. Fighting sleep to stay awake only made the situation worse. Laying her head against the wall she closed her eyes to try and stable herself. Her breathing was heavy and staggered. Inside she was burning up but to the touch she was colder than ice. Sounds continued to seep through the walls and under the door into the room which made Piper's dark orbs flutter back open. A ringing developed in her inner ear. Echos vibrating all around. Something that sounded footsteps resonated from beyond the door and down the hall. Fear and trepidation boiled in Piper. The thought that something was coming, as going to get her, terrified her. But was there anything even there? She couldn't tell.

[ianjmireles]

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[its-piper-campbell]

Hello darkness, my old friend I’ve come to talk with you again Because a vision softly creeping Left its seeds while I was sleeping And the vision that was planted in my brain still remains Within the sound of silence

[idenium]

Visit Original Link

[its-piper-campbell]

creatures lie here, looking through the window…

[anotherdeadson]

Was he  trying to be quiet?    Maybe—-   maybe he’d planned on reading over her shoulder   for a little while   just to give   himself something  to do with his time,  but he’s gone   and blown his   cover now.    Tate shifts  into  the   room and   remains   directly   behind her;    eyes scanning   over  the  head of the chair to gaze  at the book in her lap.   Her words pass through thickening air, but he allows for them to hang above them with no answer.

             ❝ —————-…… what are you reading? ❞

[its-piper-campbell]

Piper turned her head to the side. Half expect the stranger to walk by her. She furrowed her brow when no one passed then shrugged her shoulders. Was it possible they left? Returning to her book she slid her finger out where she had been marking her place. The old spin cracked as it reopened. As she began to skim her eyes over the page in which she paused a deep voice bellowed from just above her. A heavy gasp pulled into her lungs, slightly frightened. "Holy shi-" she stopped herself. The brunette leaned forward while simultaneously turning just enough to see who was behind the chair. "It's 'The Shinning' by Stephen King. Probably not the best book to be reading in this place."

[its-piper-campbell]

"You know, if you are going to sneak up on someone you might want to try and avoid the squeaky floor boards. Sort of defeats the purpose.” Piper closed the book in which she had been reading for a good part of the day when she heard someone approaching her from behind. Her statement wasn’t exactly plausible due to the simple fact that just about every floorboard in the old house was creaky but she figured it was better to call out to whomever it was behind her than to wait. They couldn’t exactly see her since she was slumped so far down into a high back chair. It was only fair to let them know of her presence too since she had already discovered theirs.  

[its-piper-campbell]

Journal Entry | 004

You know that moment between being awake and sleeping? That brief hesitation. That's when your mind is at it's wildest. You could think a million crazy ideas in those few minutes. Or you could be like me and wonder the darkest of things. Like why do I have to come clean of everything? Why can't I stay in that world of hallucination where everything seems almost perfect? It's only that way because I forget. That's what I like about it. I don't have to think. I don't have to worry. I can just be free. Free of all my terrible thoughts. I'm a statistic. About 80% of teens have thought about killing themselves and how they would do it. Right down to the T. I, personally, think I am above that statistic. I think about it more often than I would like to admit but what can I do? When your world suddenly turns topsy turvy and you are suddenly thrown into this new way of life you sort of lose yourself. I've been gone for a long time...I don't think I know how to make my way back.

[musicismayhem]

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