yeah yall sturniolo police can shut the actual fuck up now. not even a MINUTE into their newest video and theyโre talking about opening up about sexual shit, chris talking about his fav term for boobies, and BOTH chris and matt saying that they should do smth R rated. yโall baby them and terrorise people who think theyโre attractive. theyโre fucking 20 year old men not 3 year olds you raised since they came out the womb. grow the fuck up and realise they arenโt babies. ๐ค๐ค๐ค๐ค
summary: 5 times matt wanted to tell his best friend he loved her + the 1 time he actually went through with it
word count: 3.8k
pairing: matt sturniolo x best friend!reader
notes: i love the 5+1 fics because they are just so cute. and who exudes cuteness more than our very own matthew sturniolo?
masterlist
december 31, 2013/january 1, 2014: the first time he knew & wanted to express it
it was new years eve and mary lou was throwing a party for her friends and family to celebrate the arrival of 2013.
a lot had gone on that year and she figured the best way to unwind would be to have all her closest friends together under one roof.
y/n was best friends with the matt and her parents were close to his own parents so inviting them over was the first thing that crossed marylou's mind.
y/n walked in like she owned the place and went right to matt and chris' bedroom.
"hey guys."
"what's up?" nick was the first one to greet her, as chris and matt were both occupied with a video game.
"remember how on christmas we were discussing the fact that people kiss at midnight on new years? and then we were deciding who we would all kiss when the clock struck 12?"
"of course i remember. what about it though?" chris set his controller down and the boys all looked at y/n.
"you guys were arguing over who wanted to kiss me at midnight but to settle it, i decided on my own."
"okay." matt leaned forward in his bean bag. "so who's it going to be?"
"you'll find out at midnight." she winked and skipped out of the room. the boys just glanced at each other, trying to figure out who she picked.
as midnight slowly approached, the boys were starting to feel sleepy. y/n had decided on kissing chris at midnight but when she looked over at him, he was passed out on the couch so she shook her head and made another decision.
matt noticed nick passed out too so he gently nudged y/n.
"guess that just leaves you." she smiled through a yawn.
"was i your last pick?"
"yeah. sorry."
"no. it's okay. at least i'm getting picked." he shrugged nonchalantly.
y/n just looked at him and smiled when she heard the adults start counting. "you ready?"
"is this going to be your first kiss?" he looked at his lap.
"nope. kissed donnie ryder on the last day of school before the break."
"oh okay." matt glanced over at the tv screen. "2 seconds."
"1" y/n leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on matt's lips. "happy new year, matty."
he was only 10 years old but to him, the kiss meant everything.
by the time y/n's parents were ready to leave, they noticed she was passed out on the couch with the boys. her head resting in chris' lap. mary lou looked down at the kids and smiled.
"you can leave her ere for the night. she'll be alright."
"are you sure?" y/n's mom glanced back and forth between her daughter and mary loud.
"of course. i'm sure the kids would all appreciate it in the morning."
"okay. thank you mary lou." y/n's parents smiled and headed home, leaving their child in the care of their best friend.
when the kids woke up in the morning, y/n was on the floor and matt's arm was laying across her face. she carefully moved it off her face and he woke up.
"i'm sorry. didn't mean to wake you." y/n looked at the other 2 who were fast asleep before looking back at matt.
"it's all good." he smiled and stretched. "happy new years, y/n."
"happy new years, matty." she repeated the response from a few hours ago and matt admired her for it.
there was something in the way she called him 'matty' that made him realize that at only 10 years old, he was in love with his best friend.
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august 1, 2016: the second time matt wanted to express his feelings
ever since they kissed on new years, matt couldn't stop thinking about y/n. she occupied every vacant thought he had and it bugged him. she was his best friend and he didn't want to be feeling this way.
at his 13th birthday, his brothers had all their friends over and although he loved nathan's company, he was always looking for y/n. he found her after 5 seconds of searching, which he knew was a little odd.
"happy birthday to my favorite triplet." she whispered as she pulled him into a tight hug.
"your favorite triplet? thought i was your overall favorite."
"well if it wasn't for justin, you would be."
"right. justin." matt looked around the room until his eyes landed on his older brother. y/n had revealed to him just last month that she had harboring a crush on justin for the last 2 years and it bothered matt. he understood that girls sometimes had crushes on older men but why couldn't she have a crush on him instead?
"he's so cute." she stared in justin's direction and matt felt the pit in his stomach begin to form.
"y/n, he's 19. ain't that a little too old for you?"
"maybe. but you can't help who you love."
there it was. the one word he wanted to express to her. the one word he couldn't figure out how to say to her. the only word he struggled with.
"no, you really can't." he looked at her briefly before looking down at his feet. "it's not really love, is it?"
"course not. think it's just a phase really. but i can't help it. we grew up with him always protecting us. it's admirable."
"yeah yeah. whatever." matt threw his hand out, gesturing that the idea was nonsense, causing y/n to roll her eyes playfully.
"it's time for cake." nick appeared, grabbing the two of them and dragging them into the kitchen towards the triplets cakes. each one of them was different but so were the boys so it matched perfectly.
"make a wish." mary lou smiled and pointed the camera at the boys as they each blew out their candles.
"i wished for a lot of candy."
"me too." chris smiled at nick and they both turned towards matt. "what did you wish for?"
matt, ever a believer in superstitions, knew that if he told anyone his wish, it wouldn't come true. he glanced to his right and smiled at y/n. "sorry boys. if i tell you, it won't come true."
his wish was to finally be able to be with y/n in the future. he didn't want to screw that up in any way.
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june 1, 2020: the third time he wanted to tell her but couldn't
"i think i want to start making youtube videos." matt sighed as he flopped down on y/n's bed.
they were almost 17 and neither of them had solid plans for after high school.
"i think that's a wonderful idea, matty." y/n sat up and looked at her friend. "what are you going to make them about?"
"well nick, chris and i were talking the other day and we came to the conclusion that we'll just film videos in the car somewhere and come up with random topics each time. or maybe we could do challenge videos every friday. what sounds better?"
"i like the car video idea. but i also like the idea of watching you guys go through challenges. especially if they're one of those gross food ones or something." y/n giggled at matt's expression.
"think the boys will be up for both?" matt sat up straight and looked at his feet. "what if we fail at this? what am i going to do?"
"matthew bernard, you are incredible. you'll figure life out and if the youtube career doesn't pan out the way you want it to, i'll be here to help you figure out your next step, alright?"
"okay." he looked up at her and smiled. "wanna film with us?"
"i don't think your female fans would appreciate that very much."
"we don't have fans."
"not yet. but you will. and you're going to be the favorite. the girls are going to love you."
"you think so?"
"of course i do." she smiled. "just don't forget me when you're famous."
"i could never forget you, y/n."
right then, matt felt like he could lean forward and kiss her. but he didn't. he restrained himself. instead, he brought up the topic y/n was trying to forget about.
"so, how's your crush on justin going?"
when she giggled and hit him with a pillow, he felt so much love for her. it was insane.
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august 1, 2022: the fourth time he wanted to tell her
the triplets had just turned 19 and they were throwing a party. even though it was just their group of friends, matt was feeling anxious. he didn't like crowds and his eyes roamed the group of people, looking for his favorite pair of eyes. when he couldn't find her, he felt his chest tighten. his grip on the cup he was holding began turning his knuckles white.
"hey, matty. wanna go hang out in your room for a bit? how's that sound?" y/n whispered beside him. he looked down at her and nodded slowly. she grabbed his cup, set it on the counter and guided him back to his bedroom. she passed nick on the way and he nodded in understanding.
when y/n sat matt on his bed, he looked at her and smiled softly.
"thank you." he let out a sigh. y/n sat next to him and wiped the lone tear off his cheek.
"anytime." she smiled in return.
the two of them sat in silence for a few minutes before matt spoke up again.
"i know they're my friends out there but i just...i just..." he couldn't form the right words. y/n placed her hand on his and smiled.
"i get it, matt. you don't have to say anything."
"you don't have to stay in here with me, you know? they're your friends too."
"they may be, but you're my best friend and i feel you need the company more."
"thank you. i really appreciate it." he scooted up the bed until his back was against the headboard. y/n mimicked his actions and rested her head on his shoulder. he placed a kiss to the top of her head and lingered for a few extra seconds.
a few seconds he felt came off as a little more than platonic. but even if y/n noticed, she didn't say a thing. matt knew she was thinking about it though and he knew she didn't bring it up because she didn't want to make him uncomfortable & he couldn't love her more for it.
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february 14, 2023: the fifth time he wanted to tell her but couldn't
valentines day was a day mainly pointed at couples or people who wanted to spend a lot of money to get someone to love them. most of the time, it worked.
but for matt, it didn't.
he spent the past 5 months trying to get over y/n. after the birthday party, he figured that after almost 10 years of being in love with her and not being able to find the courage to tell her, he would just give up and try to focus his love elsewhere.
it resulted in multiple one night stands that never left him feeling as good as y/n did when she was around. he was too far in love with her to forget.
so when valentine's day slowly approached, he devised a plan to tell her how he felt. he bought her favorite flowers and bought her favorite food since she didn't like the traditional chocolate and roses. he also bought her balloons because he knew she liked the way the helium sounded. he knew it was ridiculous to spend money on someone but y/n was worth it to him.
he set everything up in his bedroom and waited for her arrival in the living room.
it was over an hour of waiting before she came through the front door, using the key he gave her.
"i am so sorry i'm late. i know we were supposed to hang out today but work was crazy swamped and my boss asked me to stay after my shift to help clean up the dinner rush."
"it's okay. we're not on any schedule." matt stood up from his spot on the couch and approached her. she smiled at him and let him guide her back to the couch. "you can pick the movie."
"i always pick the movie though. don't you want to pick just this once?"
"no. this is your day. i'm letting you pick. besides, i enjoy it when you pick. it always makes you happy."
"you're the best, matty." she kissed his cheek and rested her head on his shoulder. she pressed play on 'tangled' and even though they had watched the movie together about a hundred times, matt enjoyed it because y/n did. it was her favorite movie and he knew that.
halfway through the movie, the doorbell rang. y/n groaned in protest when matt removed his arm from around her shoulder and stood up.
"it's the food i ordered. be right back." matt ran down the stairs and grabbed the food, handed the driver a $20 tip and went back up to the living room. "happy valentine's day." he set the bag down and y/n opened it.
"you ordered my favorite meal?"
"of course." he smiled and watched as y/n began eating the food. she offered him a bite but he shook his head and she continued eating. when she finished, she looked at matt and he swore he felt his heart skip a beat. she had some sauce on the corner of her mouth and matt thought it was oddly attractive.
"what are you staring at, weirdo?"
"you got a little something right here." he grabbed the napkin and dabbed her lips gently. her eyes briefly closed at the contact and matt took this second to admire her. he slowly pulled the napkin away and stood up quickly.
"you alright?"
"i almost forgot that i set something up in my room for you." he started walking to his room but stopped. "are you staying the night?"
"yeah. i'm too exhausted to drive home and i don't want to bother you for a ride since you already do so much for me." y/n approached him and smiled. "now let's go see what you have set up for me."
when y/n's eyes landed on the balloons, she gasped. then she saw the vase of flowers on matt's beside table & it was like she was in heaven.
she stood there in silence for a little too long so matt grabbed her hand. she was startled but she looked up at him with nothing but adoration in her eyes.
"you are so perfect, matty. and when you do this for a girl for real, she's going to love you endlessly."
he felt like shouting 'this is for real. why can't you see that?' at her, but he didn't. he wanted to tell her he loved her but he had no idea how to prove it.
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march 1 2024: the one time he was finally able to tell her
matt had been silently pining for his best friend for over 10 years and he knew that he needed to face his fears and finally let it out. he wanted to tell chris and ask him for help but he knew that would be a lost cause.
nick was almost no better than chris but he knew that at least with nick, he wouldn't get some bullshit back.
he slowly approached nick's door and knocked. "hey. it's matt. can i ask you for some advice?"
nick opened the door and looked at his brother. "what's up?"
"i need your advice on how to express your feelings for someone."
"just tell y/n how you feel. don't be too grand with the gestures because she hates those. make her favorite meal and jsut tell her everything."
"how do you know who-"
"please, matthew. it's been 10 years. i almost told her for you on her birthday last year but she was pulled away by chris just in time so you're lucky. and if you don't tell her soon, she's going to end up with some loser asshole and she'll be out of our lives forever. you don't want that, do you?"
"absolutely not. i can't let her out of my life." he smiled and went to turn away but a thought went through his mind and he frowned. "what if i tel lher and she freaks out? she'll be out of my life then too."
"she's not going to freak out. she may not like to admit it but she's been in love with you for the last 5 years at least. and before you ask me how i know, i'm attentive. i see things most people don't. but you need to tell her today before you lose her for good."
"why today?"
"she's got a date with simon at 6 and if all goes well, then you'll have lost your chance."
"fuck." he checked his phone and ran down the stairs quickly, throwing in and "i gotta go." on the way down. he grabbed his keys and ran to his car. fearing that he could lose y/n, he felt the car speeding up and when he pulled onto the familiar street, he got nervous and looked at the clock
4:58 pm
he parked in her driveway and knocked on her door. when she answered it, she smiled.
"oh hey matt. what's up?"
"we need to talk." he gently pushed himself past her and went to her kitchen to grab a root beer from the fridge.
"okay. and i repeat. what's up?"
"why didn't you tell me you had a date with simon?"
"what do you mean?"
"nick told me that you had a date with simon tonight. at 6. why didn't you tell me about it?"
"that was last night, matt."
"oh.
"and it wasn't much of a date." she sighed and opened her own bottle of root beer. "it was nice at first but after dinner, we were in his car and he kept putting his hand on my thigh. i told him to quit and he did. at first. but then he kept doing it and each time, his hand went further up." matt watched as y/n's sighed. "i freaked out on him and he called me a prude, then left me on the side of the road. so i walked all the way back here."
"why didn't you call me? i would've come to get you, you know that."
"i was embarrassed and i didn't want you to see me like that." she sighed. "i just felt so.... not good enough."
"okay, no. you don't get to feel that way after defending your own rights. it's ridiculous. he should be the one feeling like shit for the way he treated you. and i swear to god. if i ever see him out in public, i'm kicking his ass."
"matt, relax. it's fine now." y/n set her bottle down and put her hand on his arm. "the fact that you're here is enough to make me feel better."
"good." he looked at her. "for the record, you're more than good enough. he was the one who wasn't good enough for you. i don't think there's anyone alive who deserves you. you're too good of a person."
"well i want to find love eventually, matty." she sighed and looked down at her feet. "i don't want to be too good that nobody deserves me. and i have so much love to give but if nobody deserves me, then who am i gonna give it to?"
"give it to me."
"huh?" she looked up with wide eyes, not believing the words she had just heard.
"give your love to me. i know i am far from worthy but i can definitely do better than simon or any other guy in your life. i've built up so much love for you for the past 10 years and not being able to express it has been killing me. you are the single greatest thing in my life and i don't want anyone else to be with you."
"matt, are you serious?"
"100% serious." matt placed his hand gently on the side of her face. "god, i have loved you since i was 10 years old and you were my first kiss. new years day of 2013 was a life changer for me. it awakened love that i didn't think was possibly so young. and when i was going to tell you, you told me you had a crush on justin. not gonna lie, i cried that night. it sucked so bad." he chuckled. "but i've struggled to come up with a good way to tell you how i've been feeling. it sucked having to watch you with other guys for 10 years."
"matt, i love you. so much. your stupid face. your stupid smile. your stupid tattoos. even though none of you is actually stupid." y/n smiled. "i've loved you since your 9th birthday. and on new years when you asked if you were my last pick for the kiss, i lied. you were my first pick but i didn't want to seem too eager. and i also lied about kissing donnie ryder before break. all he did was kiss my cheek and wish me a merry christmas. you were my first real kiss."
"i hated donnie ryder for years because of that." matt chuckled. "but im glad i was your first."
"we may have been 10 but if i recall correctly, you were the best kiss i've ever had. and i've kissed a lot of guys since then."
"okay, i didn't need to know that. i just confessed my love to you and you're telling me there's been many guys as if i didn't know already." matt smirked. "but i do like that i was the best one."
"i think i need a new sample."
"oh is that so?" matt looked down at y/n as she inched closer. "if a new sample is what you want, then it's what you'll get.
he pulled her in and placed his lips on hers gently. she kissed back immediately and when she smirked into the kiss, matt wrapped his arms around her hips and deepened the kiss.
more than 10 years of feelings was being poured out into the kiss and it was the best kiss either of them had ever had.
"since i was your first kiss, can i also be your last?" matt asked in a low whisper as he pulled away slowly.
"yes. absolutely. a thousand times yes." y/n smirked and kissed him again. and again.
they couldn't get enough of each other and their unspoken commitment to each other was all they needed.
MATT WITH GUYLINER MATT WITH GUYLINER MATT WITH GUYLINER MATT WITH GUYLINER MATT WITH GUYLINER MATT WITH GUYLINER MATT WITH GUYLINER PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE I NEED TO SEE MATT AS RODRICK HEFFLEY
