Pandah.

[tomcruisingthroughlife]

[zygon-commander]

I love the shift in doctor who from “the tardis is a woman in the way a boat is a woman” to “the tardis is a woman in that it sorta has a personality” to “the tardis is a woman in that it’s a living sentient being with a literal soul and she actually controls herself because she likes taking the doctor on adventures and she loves the doctor so so much and they’re each others family and he takes care of her and sweet talks her and gives her little kisses and they’re marriedddd” That’s how every guy with a boat feels anyway

[emometalhead]

Welcome, @sizzlingsandwichperfection-blog

[metalgearsolid2]

i love how delusional some articles of clothing are, like you read the tag and its like “hand wash only/tumble dry on low” son you are a cotton tshirt. youre going in the warsh and whatever happens in there is in gods hands

[lazywonderlvnd]

this tweet sends me into fucking hysterics once a day

[sizzlingsandwichperfection-blog]

Using tumblr to quit twitter is like the time I quit smoking by chewing nicotine gum, but then after four years of chewing it, I went to my doctor and she said, “The amount of nicotine you’re currently ingesting is equivalent to nine packs of cigarettes per day.”

Anyway, that went great, and I’m sure this will too.

[sizzlingsandwichperfection-blog]

Since I’m brand new to tumblr and definitely never used the service before, here are some facts about me:

1. My favorite taste is coffee–specifically Awesome Coffee Club coffee. We source the best beans directly from farmers’ collectives in Colombia, roast them to a light or medium-dark perfection (your choice!) and then send coffee beans to you. And best of all, 100% of the profits go to charity. The Awesome Coffee Club and its sibling the Awesome Socks Club donated over two million dollars this year to radically reduce maternal mortality in Sierra Leone, which is the current epicenter of the global maternal mortality crisis. You can learn more at http://awesomecoffeeclub.com.

2. I am a coffee company, not a human being. Human beings are so frail! They have so many feelings! Sometimes they get their feelings hurt and react defensively, which only makes life worse for them and for others! Fortunately I do not have these problems, because I am not a person; I am a coffee company that donates its profit to charity.

3. Most coffee companies make billionaires richer. What a bad idea! Billionaires are already richer! Our coffee company does not make any billionaires richer, but it does play the salaries of my community healthworkers who identify high-risk pregnancies in their communities.

4. Because I am new to tumblr and have absolutely never been here before, I have a lot to learn. So let me know if you have tips and tricks for being a successful coffee company on tumblr. Once again that link is http://awesomecoffeeclub.com

[sizzlingsandwichperfection-blog]

This feels a little like visiting a gravesite

only it’s my gravesite. 

Anyway, hi. I let tumblr randomly generate my username and I think they did an amazing job.

[itsahpandah]

He’s baaaaack! ❤️

[itsahpandah]

I didn’t need Spotify to tell me I listened to too much Taylor Swift this year. I want to see my stats before she took over our lives in October

[wojit]

Gotta say, never unfollowing all those long abandoned Tumblr accounts is really suddenly starting to pay off.

[harlecore]

[itsahpandah]

I just escaped the clutches of Twitter and reopened my Tumblr.

Can someone please explain why there are so many crab related ads?

[autisticradioheadfan]

marriage in stardew valley is so funny like you buy a pendant off the sketchiest looking guy on a beach when it’s raining, you give said pendant to your partner and they immediately go “oh shit lemme plan a wedding” like???? id probably just think it was a really pretty necklace

[itsahpandah]

If only life was that easy

[kosmogrl]

[andtheywereroomies]

Watching The White Lotus season 2 for the plot.

The plot:

[funnytwittertweets]

[assiraphales]

I love that heidi klum, international super model and tv personality, was like “I’m going to be a worm for halloween” and went for the most horrifying hyper realistic version possible and was quoted saying (in said worm outfit) ‘I want to put a smile on peoples faces’. ma’am I am gagging but I love that for u

[assiraphales]

she embodied it