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[itsamatteroffact-blog]

I’m going to buy a house and invite my parents over for the weekend then make them wait in the room until my friends leave.

[whitepeopletwitter]

[itsamatteroffact-blog]

After watching Rudolf the Red Nose Reindeer for the 47th time, I just realized what a prick Santa really is.

[itsamatteroffact-blog]

I thought I was calling Jesus

I called my Mom on Christmas morning to say “Merry Christmas” and I accidentally told her “Happy Birthday”, she replied, “ Thank you, but I’m not Jesus” and now I can’t stop laughing.