The summer after freshman year of my Southern Baptist college I was a youth pastor for a small conservative Baptist church in rural NC. Two and three times a week I would drive from my medium-sized hometown, 45 min on country roads, to this little brick church building perched between tobacco fields. Tonight I got a Facebook message out of the ether from a girl who was a high school sophomore when I was her youth pastor. She started "I don't know if you remember me," but of course I did. There were maybe 20 kids that came consistently and no one was a helpful or ready to jump in and do anything than she was. When we took a mission trip to Florida that summer she was my second in command, with a natural leadership style that never edged towards proud. I hadn't seen her since I drove away in August of that year, back to college and the next few year of my life that would see me walk away from the first chunk of my life and start over. "I hope everything is well with you these days. I know you're far from North Carolina now but I wanted to know if you knew if my fiancé and I would be accepted at _________ church in your hometown, as a lesbian couple." The tears came quick did not stop for a few minutes. Maybe my time years ago wasn't in vain. Maybe even though I didn't have my shit figured out in my own life, I put down a vibe she picked up. Maybe fam recognize fam. And while I was desperately trying to trick myself into believing what I preached to those kids, maybe a couple of them could see through the smoke screen of my bullshit, and see the broader strokes I was painting: about loving yourself, and loving your neighbor, and showing grace when and where you can. She is engaged and they look really happy.
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