its beautiful in holland

bury me in scolt head island, take me to the north sea, that is where angels go when they want to be with their wives in other galaxies

[itsbeautifulinholland]

Affaires d'État (About me)

Pinned post, you get it.

Hello, my name is Aubrey and I am, before anything else, a being deeply overcome by an overwhelming sense of gratefulness and joy for being loved.

I do not have other blogs. This is apparently important. I don't use this website enough—or at least am not enough in its spaces—to justify making more than one. I am here, though. I check it daily. I just don't post every day.

I have other accounts (Discord, et al.) but I do not share them openly and I'd rather you talk to me first before you ask for that stuff. I am a profoundly private person who has undergone intense trauma (identity break, etc) and need to know you a little before I give that kind of thing out. I am in my 20s.

I am a writer. That is my most important and most refined skill, and probably the skillset I'm proudest of. I can make art and music—the former of which I love doing and the latter of which I used to love doing—but writing is by far where I shine. I usually post poetry in this blog but I have freeform fiction and other writing tidbits which I've made over the years which I consider good as well.

Mental illness note: I have some sort of psychosis (derived from severe OCD), loss of continuity, memory problems, and the AuDHD combo. As always, be kind and keep these in mind. I am generally higher-functioning than a lot of folks though—my neuroses are generally impersonal or involve voice-chatting.

I am Pyrokin, and that includes all the associated baggage. People sometimes like to flanderise Pyro into a baby or a Berlin latex club member. While I do have the inevitable element of making an OC of my own from the Pyro base (Pyraub), I care a lot about remaining faithful to the core dichotomy of Pyro; an innocent gentleness and love for the world which is mixed with a deep and profound desire for blood and destruction.

I am a Protestant Christian of the Reformed (Calvinist) tradition. I believe deeply in God and Jesus Christ. I don't talk about this sort of thing with others unless if they want me to, but it's worth mentioning. If this bothers you, keep it in mind.

Lastly, my account name refers to simultaneously the Parts of Holland in the United Kingdom and the Holland in the Netherlands.

As always, you are free to ask any questions. I'm happy to answer all of them.

[what-even-is-thiss]

The reason your snacks are unsatisfying is that you need both carb and protein.

Carb starts your engine, protein keeps it going.

No carb, engine don’t start. No protein, engine dies out fast.

[what-even-is-thiss]

Easy carb add on:

Cookie

Fruit (canned or fresh)

Chips

Piece of bread

Popcorn

Crackers

Easy protein add on:

Nuts

Spoonful of nut butter

Cheese

Roasted chickpea snacks

Glass of milk (dairy or non dairy)

Small canned sausages or similar

[what-even-is-thiss]

Sugar in there.

[what-even-is-thiss]

I am pleased by people messaging me telling me that after adding a carb or protein to their snacks or meals they feel more satisfied all day. Yes, my plan is working. People are getting through their days with less hangry.

[itsbeautifulinholland]

Oh  I've got a brand new shiny gas mask and a pair of kinky boots I've got a lovely new jockstrap and a lovely new fursuit And  when we go on night patrol we sniff each other's poppers We are the British Army and we're here to do a real show-stopper

[itsbeautifulinholland]

Semiquincentennial

Dearest America—endlessly brave and free. With your frontiers, your cryptids; Your torn cities, your bleeding tears; I wonder why I love you so deeply.

Why do I look at the trailers, The dens of lost and foregone men? Why do I demand trembling justice For the wrongs done to them?

Names along the years, Seemingly unable to waste— A nation so young, its myths so fresh— How can it be so dear?

Heroes, celebrities and rebels Yeomen, vagabonds and Ronins How can it all be so lovely and worthy to see When I am so far away from Philadelphia?

From the swamps of flowers southwardly, I look onward admirably Northwards to the lovely gardens Of Indiana so forgotten by its warden.

America, so grandiose and full of gold The proudest nation in the world So brazen, so ridiculous and so brutal I could not love you more than I already do.

There will be no greater honour Than to see your Tricentennial When I am grey and old And I am but an Englishman in love—

With a nation that never knew me.

[itsbeautifulinholland]

O’ So Distant

O’ so distant I am—

My wife dearest, still so far,

No matter whence I come or whence I leave,

I'm still so far away, so called to show a frigid mien

So distant we are too,

In ways we didn’t know we could be;

And under the palm trees—

The world is so deeply cruel.

O’ so distant I am—

My only love, my only joy in life

The one I see in illness and health

I only want you happy and well.

And if I have to stay away from you another week more;

From the way we always remain unified aboard;

I think solemnly—

O’ Death, just take my corpse home.

[pyro-everyday]

Pyro in a tulip field?

day 101

i dream of pink skies and tulip fields

[localgasmaskliker]

cute guys having a fun time <3

[itsbeautifulinholland]

Wonderful Day

Today is a wonderful day.

Today is the 2-year anniversary of when I first met the love of my life, Synth. At the time, neither of us knew—they almost didn't answer me, too—that it would change our lives forever, but it did, and now we have gone from great friends to beloved partners.

We first met from our mutual passion and love for Team Fortress 2 and associated boomer shooters. We talked about our kintypes, our special interests, and realised further and further how much we were made for one another.

Something in 2025 happened and destroyed everything I had built up prior. My identity, the way I perceived myself, the way I saw the world—it all fell apart into dust and I was left with nothing but aching wounds that still bled endlessly.

Very few people stuck by me until the very end as my mental health disintegrated and my sense of self kept falling apart and wouldn't rebuild itself. Fewer actively protected and helped me. My beloved was one of them—and they were there for every waking hour, and every passing day. They were there for every painful, agonising moment I felt alone and needed a hug. A prayer. A sweet word. Love.

They kept me safe. They kept a tiny, gentle ember lit in my heart when nothing else would have held its warmth.

I am a new person now. I am a happier person now. The happiest person I've ever been. I sob, regularly, thinking about how lucky I am in this microscopic blip of existence to be so loved and given so much meaning.

I have goals. I have reasons to live. My heart is no longer an ember but an endless bonfire who will set the world ashen for my sweetheart.

We are inseparable now and we could not be happier with each other. Poetry, art, all for one another—endlessly working for the goal of uniting our headstones when we are nothing but dust.

I love you, V.S.

You are everything I live for.

Thank you for saving my life.

Say to the forest of the Negeb, Hear the word of the Lord: Thus says the Lord God, Behold, I will kindle a fire in you, and it shall devour every green tree in you and every dry tree. The blazing flame shall not be quenched, and all faces from south to north shall be scorched by it.

[itsbeautifulinholland]

Oxeye Daisies

The night before, as it may be called Terrorises me endlessly— And yesterday I thought by the weeds; Why is it so difficult to recall, the life I once led By the oxeye daisies?

I fought my fears, trudged through my tears Went through the fragments of glass Holding your hand, cold and dark I had nothing left but a life of scars.

In my surplus gear I wandered and I worried, perhaps needlessly That the world would be scared of me By the oxeye daisies;

But if there is anyone that should destroy me, That may rebuild me once more, It would be you, my sweetheart My creatured wife evermore.

The past is a blackened sea, Its hooks have let go of the skin And once and for all one of these days I will be able to be so happy, In dearest eternity By the oxeye daisies.

[kirieshker]

The childish gaze

[itsbeautifulinholland]

Norfolk-next-the-Lord

Eternity terrifies any man From here to Kazakhstan Boredom or fear— Pain and tears.

They will not enter the Kingdom of Christ; Heed to my words, fearlessly so; Heaven has a Landlord who so sacrificed; His only Son to save our hearts forever more.

And more should I cry, So lovingly do I think of the world I'd leave for The Norfolk-next-the-Lord.

And you too my creech, You will then be free— Reunited with me In our beloved galaxy.

No man would ever see The way God made me Nor made you so perfectly Besides in the Norfolk-next-the-Lord.

Never will we perish, Never will we feel terror. The Lord will defend us With the most profound splendour.

[itsbeautifulinholland]

Untitled

Dreaming light of the Moon, tell me tonight: Will my love make it All the way through— —the flight?

My guiding birthright, says in prayer: "I am not afraid of the naysay'rs; I believe in our firelight."

Look at your window, beloved creature; There is no prettier feature; Than the moon we both witness, Our unstoppable guidance— the mirror image.

And in the dark, I think, again— So unbroken we share Our destiny and fate Nothing dares take it.

My sun, moon and stars When we've climbed past Mars Our moons will unify: And none will dare break them apart.

[wwwbloodlilt]

[prismaticpichu]

but what if they hugged?? What if they touched foreheads??? What if they cried together????? What if they laughed together???? What if they loved each other SO DAMN MUCH??????

[lottielovesaleah]

i drew more fanart yay

i love these two

[itsbeautifulinholland]

Might I

Might I wish you good night? Might I pray for a blessed life? Might I beg for you to live With me for all time?

Tight against the pillow I think The stars I cannot grasp Are they the ones that my heart Will one day share with you completely?

You are everything I move for Everything I walk for Everything I work for Everything I die for

The dusk is so empty and so scary In these dark satanic mills But in our dear Norfolk will we marry And never again be still

[shetheyslain]

Dahling you simply must read this book! It’s all about this devious little caterpillar who simply gorges himself on all manner of divine things