6 6 6 @itsbeginningtostart - Tumblr Blog

Hey! So, I have some news. Some of it's gonna be disappointing to hear.

And no, It's nothing about deleting this blog, I'm keeping it! But.

I started this blog as a joke during a terrible time of my life with intentions of never breaking character. I was a big fan of a Komaeda blog and thought that I would be able to join them haha.. but that was in 2021 and I continued for a few years. Anyway, I have decided to transform this blog because I have had a lot of life changes since and I feel like it's time to put the joke away.

This is now going to be a personal blog. I can't agree with what the site has been doing as of late. I'm active elsewhere but because I didn't know anyone personally here, I won't give my offsite accounts. My time online is limited now anyway, so it makes the most sense to me.

So yes, I'm still in the DR fandom. I had one hospitalization back in early 2023 and things got really uncertain for so long, but now I have a place to live that's not like. My parent's house lol which feels way overdue at this age (24). My current living situation is taking time getting used to but it's only been a week. I was tossing ideas up there, to like.. I guess put out some DR theories I have been cooking up, but I may just make another side blog for that eventually.

So it's good to get to know you without the whole Komaeda thing I find embarrassing now. I will keep my old posts up just for a laugh because I know I had dedicated followers who weren't bots.

Anyway! I wish the best of luck to all of you. Truly and deeply.

#I'm going to overhaul my tag system but like. Another day #I have to do this through a desktop computer. Much better than mobile. Honestly #I didn't realize how bad being on the phone all the time was for me before. I have been through a lot and learned a lot since #I will with delight like. Actually recommend such a cleanse. No internet if you can help it too #Stay safe & ily!#starlightrambles

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#starlightrambles #I'll like...talk about it soon but not right now lmaooo #I'm ood and everything's fine I'm just. lmao rn

Guess who forgot to update their blog. lol. My job closed up so I have more time!!! This isn't a negative tho. My boss pointed me toward a place his friend owns so like.. it's just a matter of waiting for an opening.

#starlightrambles #Def not a negative thing!#It's just one dude who put in their two weeks so I'm waiting on it #So the position isn't like. Open to anyone. It was good timing #Got a good grade in corporate slave I suppose. But at least I have one #I will have to put money toward repairs bc our a/c broke a few weeks ago and like. Nobody is getting it fixed #:)#So guess who has to.#There is constant complaining from roommates but the host said som #e shit like accepting natural temperatures being better for you. Cool. I'm dying tho and so is everybody else #Speaking of. Lost another roommate since I last updated this. Sad!#We took in someone else so it's nbd but I was scared the host would close this place off a little more #like the last time this happened. Nobody replaced that roommate btw.#I was scared our splitting of the bills etc would increase but it's fine for now #And the new roommate is chill! We spoke a few times n she even likes DR! We are hitting it off #She's a bit weird but it's not like. Offputting #u know. Like kind and chill and everything but with some tough views on certain things..#No kink at pride etc. Like she's said some shit I don't agree w but otherwise it could be worse

Let me tell you how much easier it is to binge shows instead of taking turns with like. Everyone in my household on one computer.

#starlightrambles #I can't sleep so I'm here hiiiii #Ok u caught me. I was watching DR again lmao #I was thinking something cursed. That being #I would have def been a kinnie if I didn't have so much shit going on when it was cool and then a job eventually #Even when I had this thing going on as a joke. Just know #I was thinking abt it recently. One of my roommates is an otherkin? Therian etc I don't know the difference #But they are soooo offline somehow #They obvs use the internet still but they aren't terminally online about it. As far as I know #As far as I know being. I think I'm the only one here who has a personal computer???#But they are pretty deep into it. Wolf tail levels #I never spoke about it to them ever because I thought it was weird but I'm like #Less harsh on it now?#For the record I'm not anything like this but. Man you never know. Just a few #thoughts #I'm definitely tired

I finally got the updated rules. I haven't looked through all of it and will do that after this post but at least it's shorter than the other one. It looks like in order to be closer and not have someone leave like last time there's gonna be more like holiday type of things and there was a calendar with a legend so like. This time I'm gonna read through everything so nothing comes up as a surprise.

#starlightrambles #The roommate who I keep suspecting has a thing for the host has been especially pissy like #you have less competition now lmaoooo. None of us miss that roommate #Basically a funeral atmosphere happening since #Tho it's getting better now

I went out today lol. I barely go out on my days off. I can't just borrow the car whenever I want and there isn't much shit to do within walking distance, but even if it wasn't for long, I still had fun and feel refreshed.

#starlightrambles #Tense atmosphere in the house sooo. Bye lol. I got my freedom #Although I have to vacuum as soon as my alarm goes off #So like. Just over 15 minutes

I was gonna also mention that I did end up getting a laptop. It's a secondhand potato but I'm not a gamer so I can manage well with it. The host seems more paranoid about electronics now but I'm well behaved and I'm quiet with it and I haven't told any roommates about it bc I assumed there would be jealousy. When I'm at work, I just keep it in my suitcase I still have in my room and it's password protected. No issues at all with it so far! Streaming anime makes it heat up but I just try and elevate it.

Speaking of, I'm gonna binge anime because I'm sick lol. I wish I was off for a fun reason but I really feel sick as a fucking dog. I might join the roommates in the living room later because they are planning to get high and bought edibles a few days back (legal here lol). I think one of them even took the day off for it.

#starlightrambles #Edibles because a roommate made a big fuss about a no smoking rule that only involves cigarettes #as if they aren't chain vaping in their room 24/7 but I understand weed is different. I myself only use edibles maybe like once a month #for cramps :/#I'm borderline broke and have ADHD so it's like. Bare minimum effectiveness anyway

Hi it's been awhile happy 4/20!!

It's mostly been uneventful for me until it wasn't lol and crazy things happened. I no longer have a pile of chores to do, but our chore scheduling got changed around for a number of reasons. So people argue sometimes like. It's bound to happen sooner or later. But around the 11th or 12th a roommate had a huge fight with the host. Turns out she has been dating this girl three states away (or more I forgot??) and wanted to visit but the host got paranoid and transportation was brought up alongside the length of time she would be gone which was multiple weeks for vacation. She said the host was being unreasonable but she started saying shit about her girlfriend not liking the fact she was living in a place like this and that there's something suspicious about all this. And then the host got mad like. Yelling mad. Angrier than they had ever been. This was after work too so it was almost night. Anyway that roommate ended up packing up her shit and left.. she's never been back since. And I guess the host had a sort of breakdown because they thought we were all going to leave? But I need a roof over my head and so does everyone remaining.

After this they said they had to update rules and make changes but I still never got updated rules nor were they ever mention. The roommate who fucked off was in charge of the cleaning at the time, so not only are we down a person to handle chores but it was the person doing the chores. And this resulted in chores being divided up more evenly instead of cycling around with whoever's in charge of them handling most of the work.

#starlightrambles #I'm not even mad. Grateful really. It was so tiresome coming home from work and basically #having to clean the whole house.#And I know it's not her fault but that roommate always hogged the bathroom #I know she has IBS and she always made it clear but if she was just washing her face or whatever she would still keep the door locked #And she would read in there too.. in the bathroom everyone has to share?#So. Bye I guess.#Good luck lmao #But in the wake of this the host has been in a bad state. Some kind of mental thing prbly #My mental health isn't the best either but they seem frantic now still. I feel bad for them #ofc I will help when it's needed and I even make them coffee or tea

So many things happened I don't know where to start. Firstly I've been extremely busy at work and have barely had any sleep because like. Roommates started making excuses for getting me to do everything. Literally even the host told me just how good I was at cleaning and I guess everyone just started leaving their fucking messes for me cool cool cool. And I was unaware that mid march is a special kind of celebration in the house. Which wasn't even mentioned in the rules despite the fact I read through them twice? But it's on a calendar I was never given, go figure. During it, one of my roommates woke me up with this clanging and I was pissed I was just so tired. It's like a large can on a string and they can clang it with whatever they want. From the 10th-16th, every night, every couple of hours. Cause they believe that being asleep too long during these days invites bad energy into your mind. By the third day I just accepted it and adapted. And then I had to make up for this the next week lol. Passing out as soon as I would get home from work.

#starlightrambles #It's hard to say if I'm like #actually angry at this??? It feels rude to question it.#And I started accepting it over time.#Maybe it's not a big deal. I don't know. But now I recovered by just sleeping more after.#The things you will get used to are truly amazing. Anyway how are you all #Personally I'm kinda wanting to watch Dungeon Meshi

Thinking about it is pissing me off even more. This isn't even the roommate that annoys me she's another one now. I've had positive interactions many times that almost drown this out but it's so annoying and petty.

#starlightrambles #I'm keeping this so vague because my fear is that some of these people r on this site #I know we don't get much computer time a day but you can ration it and easily maintain a blog #Thankfully they are borderline hippie types but still #But saying this roommate that roommate confuses even me sometimes. But numbering feels disrespectful lol. Maybe nicknames nex #t time

A roommate got bitchy at me bc I've like. Spoken to the host several times. And why wouldn't I because I'm the newest here and I need to know what is happening? Anyway I told her this basically and asked why she doesn't just like. Talk to them on her own?? She then went on a rant about this imaginary ranking system I didn't see in the rules and it was never mentioned at all while I was here. That bc they are the host they are on the top step and she is is a few steps down so "talking up" is disrespectful. I later literally flipped through the booklet after this conversation and it was not there. Not even remotely.

#starlightrambles #I feel bad talking shit sometimes because the host kind of pleaded with us to treat each other with respect #But I'm seeing more my way because I'm new here like #I am not a threat to your social standing or whatever??????#Maybe because she broke a rule recently she's paranoid idk.#She blasted music for a few minutes while everyone was trying to sleep so the host took her to the computer room #In the rules loud music while it is disruptive gets punished. Like imagine if we were all blasting music #so they make you listen to some kind of scraping on chalkboards video #Nails tools shit like that #I haven't been paying much attention to her before that so #Anyway.

Exhausted. I can't wait for tomorrow lmao

#starlightrambles #Nothing else to say I just want my day off

The host told me that there were few arguments, but I'm starting to think they just don't pick up on things. Like. They're kinda oblivious at times. A few roommates have been arguing, even to the degree that I think they tried to grip each other's hands during Whole dinner prayer pretty hard. Like visibly doing this. Yet they see no problem? I'm afraid to bring these problems up because I need a place to live but man sometimes the tension makes things stressful.

#starlightrambles #The dead silence of Whole Dinner after prayer was so tense this time.#Starting to think maybe the others don't bring their fights with others up bc they're afraid of #losing a place to live too.#Two roommates I thought were getting along at first too #I heard them fucking LMAO #Maybe the second day? Through my wall and everything. It's hard to be quiet here #Now they are absolutely at each other's throats. Like some fucking fanfiction #The youngest here is 21 because drinking age was taken into account #But everyone acts like teenagers sometimes.

9am timeslot let's go. :~) At the halfway dinner I proposed the idea of getting myself a mobile phone assuring them I would just pay more because I'm one of the top earners here. The host shot it down immediately. Apparently the rule specifically stated that mobile phones were just not allowed in general which is??? Like it's 2024? Anyway, 5G or whatever. I skimmed the rule the first time because there are 17 pages stapled together, front and back except for the last one. But they brought me aside later to tell me that if I make it to one month here, I can buy myself a laptop if I want. So I'm gonna do that lol.

#I wanted to bring it up before but you can't just propose things out of the blue #which makes sense because people are just gonna start demanding things and order needs to be kept.#Halfway dinner is halfway into the week (Wednesday) when everyone who is home has to eat together #you can bring shit up then but not on Whole Dinner (Sunday)#the rest of the days we just cook for ourselves and eat whenever #we have to write down what was used eaten etc but idm it's reasonable to me #like I got used to it two days in #starlightrambles

The fact that it took them the week I was here to schedule me in for the computer and yet the scheduling isn't kept so strictly. We can use it in 30 minute shifts and while I heard about a 2 hour rule many people break it. I think we're allowed to just go over if whoever is next isn't using it??? But it might go to the next person. I thought the time was gonna be divided so we get to use it at the same time each day based on all of our schedules but nobody has ever used it at the same time as before? Help.

#starlightrambles #I think there would be more fights about this but the host is pretty good at like #mediating them #I still have heard at least 5 though.#I'm nosy but I'm also pretty anxious about fights. A roommate had to use it for work #Roommate who I am quickly growing to dislike started crying because they wanted to watch stim vids on YT if I got that right?#Like actually full on crying. But the host was home so it got broken up #I should bring up the mobile tomorrow. It was in a long list of rules they give you but it won't hurt like. Anyone so.

Actually on that subject I'm so grateful that the computer is kept in one room. A massive waste of a room since we aren't allowed to use it as a bedroom but at least there is privacy.

#starlightrambles #Guest room u know. The computer is our guest I guess #It's not even a big house and we are pressed for space so it's just silly to me.

I showed up at work but they told me the schedule changed? Fuck me I guess.

#starlightrambles #Like. How hard was it to phone in advance? lmao?#I usually get Friday off but it's Wednesday now.#Three of my roommates are still at home but I feel awkward.#At least one of them saw me and let me in before my keys could even open the door but #It is so fucking quiet here and so tense.#Stranded with the most socially awkward of the bunch oh well lmao #I have 30 minutes of internet left until one of them wanted to use it so.#I'll rewatch DR3 episode 1. Some things never change

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