My posts

This is my writing blog.

[itsbinhnanaposts]

I miss you.

I miss your smile, your touch, and your gentle love for me. I’m sad to hear you now share that same love with someone else, and that person is no longer me. I’m sad to see you can no longer be there for me like you used to. I’m sad things turned out this way, but what can I do, except to smile and let you go.

[itsbinhnana]

Just when I thought happiness still exists, sadness comes and take it away. Is there happiness for me anymore?

[itsbinhnana]

I don’t know why but I feel really weird and awkward when a guy actually talks to me. Maybe because I’m not used to the fact that a guy actually wants to talk to me.

[itsbinhnana]

The scar that I’ve been trying so hard to heal is now deteriorating. The scar in the heart is the worst scar you can have. I’ve been trying so hard to become at least 1% confident about myself, but someone important in my life had to ruin it. How am I ever going to have the chance to love myself? How am I supposed to be confident with you trying to make me feel bad? What am I supposed to do?

[itsbinhnana]

I don’t know why I feel so empty. I’m not happy nor sad. I’m just empty. I don’t know what real happiness is anymore. It’s like my heart is frozen. It can’t feel. Nights like these make me question about my life and future. What’s the purpose of living? What am I doing with my life right now? I feel like I’m wasting so much time of my life. I guess I just lack motivations to live. I don’t know…

[itsbinhnana]

Sometimes you feel like you don’t belong in a certain group, so you just sit there pretending that you’re not lonely at all.

[itsbinhnana]

I wonder what my family would be like if I did not exist.

[itsbinhnana]

It’s so nice to have your own mom say that you’re ugly in front of her friends. So nice…

[itsbinhnana]

Honestly, all I want right now is happiness and relaxation. School has been stressing me out so much lately. I don’t have time to relax my mind. It is always full of worries, stress, and headaches. I don’t know what I can do to feel happy again. I started to feel like there’s no point in anything. I just want to go somewhere and escape from this place for awhile.

[itsbinhnana]

The reason why I don’t like going to family parties is because my family likes to judge me. They like to point out my flaws that made me even more insecure. They either call me fat or make fun of me. It got to the point where I don’t feel anything anymore. I’m used to it. Used to the teasing and...

[itsbinhnana]

The feeling you get when you’re around younger people and they’re smarter than you. You feel stupid and embarrassed.

[itsbinhnana]

I really wish there is someone in school that I can trust. All my friends in school are just people who I talk to and hang out with. They are not people I would tell personal problems to, simply because I don’t trust them. They will judge me and wouldn’t understand me. It would be nice to have someone that can actually support and care for me. Kind of like someone for me to lean on when I cry. Someone who is always there for me and I would do the same.

[itsbinhnana]

I wish I’m not a weird and akward person. Every person who talks to me always thinks I’m weird and awkward. Then they don’t even want to talk to me again.

[itsbinhnana]

I hate being a quiet person sometimes. When I’m with a group of friends, I usually don’t talk a lot. I don’t know what to talk about. I’m not funny or interesting. Nobody would like to be with me. Nobody would want to talk to me because I’m not fun to talk to. I’m just a boring person. I wish I can be fun and outgoing sometimes. People would want to talk and be with me.

[itsbinhnana]

Slowly, all the people who were once so closed to me are all turning into strangers. We don’t talk anymore. We don’t contact each other to see how we’re doing. When I tried to talk to them and pick up where we left off, they seem like they don’t want to talk to me. They don’t put in the effort into the conversation. All the memories are fading away. People who were once so close to me are all strangers. They are not in my life anymore.

[itsbinhnana]

I like you but I doubt that you would like me too.

[itsbinhnana]

Right now I just want to sleep forever. I don’t want to deal with stressful things everyday. I’m tired of everything. Everything is falling out of place. Family is breaking apart. School gets more and more difficult. I’m just so tired of life. I just want to sleep because sleep is better than reality.