Reporting On Pure Ridiculousness

LGBTQ Advocate. Creative Marketing Design, Public Relations & Communications. Stage Actor.

[itsedwardoz]

It’s been a long hot covid19 living, cancer surviving minute since I used this app so I thought I’d post a picture where I am at tonight.

31 inch waist, 175 pounds. 26 more days to year 51. 7 weeks since last radiation treatment for neck cancer. I’m not complaining.

[itsedwardoz]

Tomorrow I find out if I have made it to goal weight. It’s been since August 4, 2018 I began my WW journey and 61.4 pounds later I feel like a new man. #tbt #tbthursday #weightwatchers #weightloss #weightlosstransformation #gay #gayman #gayguy #gaydaddy #gaymen #gays #gaybear #gayinstagram #gayhot #wiltonmanors #gaydude #gaylove #instagay #gayworld #gaypic #gayclub #gaybar #gaycity #gaypeople #gayselfie #gaycute #fortlauderdale Follow me on the @ww app!

[itsedwardoz]

I started my weight loss journey again on August 4, 2018. As of December 30, 2018, I am down 45.2 lbs. I have not been this thin since I was 15 years old. I am going to hold onto this as long as I possibly can. You can do what I did by joining WW, formerly Weight Watchers. https://www.weightwatchers.com/us/checkout/iaf/?iaftoken=3789978C00

Invite a friend | WW USA

[itsedwardoz]

Down 25.8lbs since 8/4/18. Use my invitation link below to sign up for WW "Formerly Weight Watchers" and we’ll both get a free month added to our plans!

https://www.weightwatchers.com/us/checkout/iaf/?iaftoken=3789978C00

Invite a friend | WW USA

[itsedwardoz]

Party 🎉🎊 #gay #gayman #gayguy #gaydaddy #gaymen #gaydaddies #gays #gaybear #gaycub #gayinstagram #gayhot #gaywhitemanproblems #gaydude #gaylove #instagay #gayworld #gaypic #gaytwink #gayclub #gaybar #gaycity #gaypeople #gayselfie #gaytravel #gaycute #gaycub #gayrights #gaypride #gayinstagram #gaycation #gayjock #gayhunk https://www.instagram.com/p/BpX1quMhOry/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=isa5u9nxxzdd

[itsedwardoz]

What a great experience working with Falcon Studios at The Grand Resort and Spa. They filmed a bunch of scenes and I was fortunate to be featured in the film as, of course, a front desk manager of a hotel! I even got an action scene where I ran after a thief who stole our money. The title I believe will be called Beach Rats. Can’t wait to see the finished product in January.

#michaeldelray #devinfranco #romantodd #mrpam #falconstudios #grandresortspa

[itsedwardoz]

How am I doing? Many years after 9/11

I get this question a lot from friends who care to acknowledge my feelings on this day every year.  It's complicated.  On the one hand I am doing ok, going about my normal routine.  Happy go lucky, making people laugh, laughing at myself mostly.  Keeping up with current events.  Twittering, Facebooking and all that other social media crapola.   

I am one of these people whose body has sensory memory.  It always seems to start a few weeks before the anniversary.  I have trouble sleeping. I wake sometimes thinking I am in a enclosed room and I can't see anything but blackness. Sometimes the white walls in my apartment at night would jolt me out of bed because I think I am in a cloud of smoke.  I walk past a tree every morning on my way into work.  Sometimes the leaves falling startle me for a second and then I laugh how silly I felt.  The smell of something burning, like toast, sends chills though my spine.  My mouth becomes rather dry, and I tend to feel the need to brush my teeth multiple times a day.  In the evenings, when I am by myself, the silence at night feels deafening.  I sometimes have to snap my fingers to verify I can hear small sounds.  I can be fine one moment and then consumed with severe anxiety and panic attacks.  My head will start to spin.   Sometimes I have to pull over if I am driving.  The sounds of airplanes taking off and landing are the worst.

I have been to several doctors in the past, and frankly the idea of taking any sort of anxiety pill scares me. I rely on breathing exercises and focusing on what is present at the moment.  Every year it does get better.  I have learned to deal with these feelings in a healthy way.  I don't need to consume large quantities of food or drink myself into an oblivion.

I think about my family.  How every year, they all pile in a van to drive to the memorial site and take part in the ceremony.  They do this in honor of my cousin who did not make it out that day.  I used to go to ground zero in the beginning, but every year it made me more bitter and angry.  I used to think he had more to live for -  that it should have been me.  But that was not God's plan - at least for me.  I really believe that now.  I work on acceptance every day.  It was hard to comprehend accepting anything so horrific.  However, I learned that unless I accept my life completely on life's terms, I cannot be happy.  Page 417* says it best.  

I have so much to be grateful for today.  I have my apartment, my job, my dogs, my car, food in the fridge, countless friends, and family who I check in with once in a while - I am still working on mending those fences.  It's been hard letting go of resentments.  Progress not perfection.  Next week I will be in New York.  It's been 4 years since I was there.  Will I go to the memorial site?  Honestly I don't know.  I am going to play it by ear.

In conclusion, I just wanted to thank everyone who continue to check in with me and ask how I am doing.  It is nice to know people have not forgotten those who were there that day - and also lost loved ones.  All the phone calls, texts and IMs help tremendously.  Thank you for always caring and especially taking time to read this note.  It's part of my self-diagnosis, 2 cent, therapy exercise.

Peace!

*Acceptance is the answer to ALL of my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation- some fact of my life- unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in God's world by mistake.

[itsedwardoz]

Some of the many images and memes I use to reply back to the Orange Baboon in the Kremlin Annex.

[itsedwardoz]

Co Workers. So very blessed to work with such an amazing bunch of men and women. They all make The Grand, GRANDER!!!

[itsedwardoz]

Estevez Swimwear that was shot at The Grand Resort and Spa for HotSpots Central.

[itsedwardoz]

FLORIDIANS - MAKE SURE YOU ARE REGISTERED TO VOTE AND PLAN ON SHOWING UP 11/6/18. #floridavote #VoteThemOut #VoteBlueNoMatterWho #VoteBlue2018 #BlueWave2018 #Florida PLEASE SHARE!!!!

[itsedwardoz]

“Spiritual mirrors are not normal mirrors. They are not a tangible piece of formed glass hanging on a wall. Spiritual mirrors are people, experiences, challenges, tragedies, etc. that show us our spiritual maturity. Spiritual mirrors often appear unexpectedly but reflect God to us forever. Without spiritual mirrors we cannot experience God fully.” -Guy Burke

[itsedwardoz]

“What is exciting about Fort Lauderdale is that we are becoming the #1 vacation destination in the Southeast U.S. for all LGBTQ travelers,” said Edward Otto Zielke, Marketing and Operations Manager for The Grand Resort and Spa. “As Fort Lauderdale Beach’s tourism begins to grow from upcoming events like the newly announced Pride of The Americas for 2020, we strive to be the #1 spa-resort in the country for men.”

[itsedwardoz]

[itsedwardoz]

We were thrilled to have Monét X Change from RuPaul's Drag Race Season 10 with us at The Grand Resort and Spa for Our Night OUT. Also we always love running into one of our hometown favorites Christopher Hamblin for LRI Talent and Management.

[itsedwardoz]

[itsedwardoz]

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Condragulations to @ageofaquaria for winning the Grand Prize at @GrandResortSpa ... we can not wait to see you here in sunny Fort Lauderdale soon!!! Contact me when you are ready to start your vacation!!! @RuPaulsDragRace #rupaulsdragraceseason10 @wowreport (at RuPaul's Drag Race)