Flambae

Since you’re all obsessed with me I guess I’ll make a blog

[itsflambaebitch]

Rules and Info:

Hai hai!! It’s @nebwrites here! I run this account and also make some fanfiction if you wanna check me out on my other account!

General rules are as follows:

This is an 18+ account. The game was so this is too. If you’re under 18 don’t interact please and thank you!

NSFW asks are allowed but do remember I will be responding in character so you might not actually get your answer. Tags will be out of character tho so if you feel worried that I’m actually mad or whatever just take a peak.

Asks aren’t allowed to contain mentions of incest, rape, requesting fetish content, stalking behavior, encouragement of eating disorders, bigotry, spam, or any other general weird ass behavior.

This is a flambert household as the banner suggests so if you wanna ship any other characters that’s fine but Flambae and Robert are off the table.

Lastly remember this is all fiction at the end of the day. If I say something and you think it’s too out of character or you hate the ship just block me and move on

Oh also feel free to throw some requests in the inbox! I do fake tweets and texts but also I can write a mini fic with enough time!

Thank you for reading! 💖

[itsflambaebitch]

Top ten fails in cooking among the Z team and why were they the top ten in your opinion?

Ughhhh fucking all of them are incapable. I have only cooked with them once and it was a mistake. Fuck Christmas traditions. Only one person should be allowed to bake cookies. It doesn’t need to be a group effort.

Anyway all of these are from that one horrendous instance:

Mal accidentally brought the dough to life by trying to use an incantation that would make the dough mix itself. It fucking ran into my vents so we had to fish it out before we could kill it. Then I had to make new dough because it was caked in dust and shit.

Punch broke a bottle of my GOOD vanilla over the stove and guess what? Shit’s flammable. He was lucky I’m good at putting out fires.

Sonar made some of the cookies edibles but forgot which ones. I wouldn’t have cared but these were also supposed to be partly for my niece so OBVIOUSLY I can’t risk giving a kid weed cookies so had to…. Once again… MAKE MORE

Robbo kept eating the cookie dough so Vis mixed hot sauce in as a prank. It completely ruined the flavor profile of the cookies so had to make more dough

Wetfartboy got more anxious the longer it went on so he kept creating puddles that people were slipping on

Prism- as much as I love her… really fucked up by not checking the inside of the oven before preheating. Had to clean up a lot of melted plastic tupperware before being able to use the oven

Coop nearly jumped Vis because she went invisible and took one of her knives to use for a better cut while chopping nuts

Sonar’s fur kept getting in everything even when he was kicked out of the kitchen

Phen used cornstarch instead of powdered sugar when trying to make the icing… we noticed a little too late. Tasted fucking gross

Bob Bob was the least offensive this whole time because he already knows his ass is not allowed to come close to the kitchen. He can’t cook or bake for shit. That being said his snacking on all of the million attempts at dough got him a stomach ache

[itsflambaebitch]

Gonna say this here too bitches

[itsflambaebitch]

Who wants to hear me bitch and moan about the bitch I make moan?

[itsflambaebitch]

Technically I’m also there in a group photo for the phoenix program but that includes every department’s phoenix program members.

I’m fucking absorbed into the crowd nobody sees me

This is bullshit I shouldn’t have to do this

[itsflambaebitch]

Who wants to hear me bitch and moan about the bitch I make moan?

[itsflambaebitch]

I am artist

Incorrect, you are worthless and I refuse to look at any more of these

Fuck you and get a job 🖕🔥

[itsflambaebitch]

flambald

I hope you choke🖕🖕🖕🔥🔥🔥🔥

[itsflambaebitch]

Nice, always love learning about interesting trees and that is certainly one of them;

What is in your opinion the type of tree that's easiest and fastest to light on fire?

Any if you’re me. It’s not fucking amateur hour.

That being said if you’re a little bitch normie I guess palm trees.

[shirtlessteacup]

Did you know palm trees are actually not trees theyre basically a grass

[itsflambaebitch]

What? My god see this is why you should hate trees. They don’t even want to be trees. They fucking hate themselves

Grass- what fucking bullshit

[itsflambaebitch]

Chaseward tentacles

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?

Omg this is so good I’m printing this out and taping it to Chase’s computer screen- actually I have to send this to my boyfriend right now

He’s going to lose his shit

[itsflambaebitch]

Worth it.

[itsflambaebitch]

Chaseward tentacles

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?

Omg this is so good I’m printing this out and taping it to Chase’s computer screen- actually I have to send this to my boyfriend right now

He’s going to lose his shit

[itsflambaebitch]

Top ten favorite foods and why?

I ONLY GET 10???!! Fine.

Firnee: I might not have as big of a sweet tooth as my boyfriend but I fucking love desserts that have floral flavors and pistachios and this has both so immediately top of the list.

Kabuli pulao: aside from it being delicious it was also something I had a lot growing up so it’s nostalgic.

Pad Thai: the peanuts give it a nice crunch, plus every time I go to the Thai restaurant I get it from, they give me a salad that has this weird as shit sauce. It’s white and sweet and actually fucking good. Normally I don’t eat that rabbit food you people call salads but that is an exception.

Pakistani chicken karahi: first time I made it I thought it was meh but then I found a better recipe where you actually cook out most of the water and then tried it again. Fucking great.

Banana foster: they taste good and I get a chance to show off. What’s not to love?

Chicken tamales: I have a fond memory of the first time I ate a tamale with my boyfriend. Apparently he never tried much food.. just in general for like his whole fucking life so when he saw one he didn’t know to take the corn husk off. I was fucking cry laughing at him. I have a picture of a tamale still wrapped with teeth marks in it somewhere in my phone.

Pork belly: specifically honey glazed. I’ve tried other kinds but the sweet and savory combo is the best.

Kofta challow: I only like this one when I make it. Everyone else doesn’t do it right.

Gyro: any kind of meat and topping combination honestly. They’re all good.

Seafood boil: it’s delicious and snapping the crab legs is fun.

[itsflambaebitch]

Do you know how fucking dumb you have to be to start a wildfire because of a gender reveal?

I committed arson for years and never fucked that up. Fucking go home and cut a cake you losers🔥🔥🔥🖕🖕🖕

[itsflambaebitch]

Nice, always love learning about interesting trees and that is certainly one of them;

What is in your opinion the type of tree that's easiest and fastest to light on fire?

Any if you’re me. It’s not fucking amateur hour.

That being said if you’re a little bitch normie I guess palm trees.

[itsflambaebitch]

What are the best and worse trees ever in your opinion?

Normally I wouldn’t have any favorites. Trees suck and they can kiss my ass, but there is one that Golem told me about that’s kind of cool.

Dragon’s blood trees. They bleed its metal as fuck, plus the name? They should all be like that

[itsflambaebitch]

I hate these sons of bitches

[itsflambaebitch]

Look at this moron