so anyway shane is having a Bad Day because he's tired & hungry & has a headache & he had one too many slightly off interactions this week, so he's feeling like a shaken up soda and he keeps clenching his hands and resisting the urge to hit his head with things, and he's not going to say anything because he knows says to himself "nothing really happened, nothings actually wrong, I’m just being sensitive, it's not his problem" but obviously ilya notices because that's His Him & even if shane wasn't jerking around slightly with the stims he was trying to suppress ilya would still know that something's wrong, and it's easy for him to figure out why shane's feeling poorly because he pays attention to His Him, so he knows he's feeling touchy emotionally & also not great physically, and more than that he knows shane will never ever ever actually ask for help or anything that could make him feel better because he finds having needs to be a humiliation ritual (& also hes petrified of there finally being a straw that will break the camels back of ilya's patience & gentleness & love for him, so he's got to save his neediness for when he really really needs it, so it's not a resource he risks overmining) so ilya knows he can't just out and ask shane directly if he can help, bc shane will feel like he's created some kind of inconvenience by being unhappy & that'll only make everything worse & also make it harder for ilya to help. so that to say, ilya gets up and starts turning off any overhead lights that are on, and closes the curtains, and pauses the dishwasher & the clothes dryer so they can't make noise in the background, and he gets the weighted blanket from the hall closet but he knows better than to call shane to the couch yet, so he kind of herds his husband to the shower like a sheepdog and turns the water on the cool side of lukewarm & says that he's going to make lunch & it will be ready when shane is out, and he leaves out boxers & a loose tshirt & shorts that are long enough that shane's thighs won't touch, and he makes sandwiches for them both & makes sure that shane's is very evenly proportioned & the vegetables are all crisp & there are absolutely no condiments & he puts some baby carrots on the plate too (& chips on his own, plain even though he'd prefer barbecue, bc he knows the smell would be too much) & puts a ginger ale in the freezer for the few minutes left before shane emerges, his body a little looser, his breathing a little easier, wearing the clothes ilya had laid out & ilya is a little proud that he's not compulsively thanking him, that's an improvement, and shane settles on the couch without having to be told and ilya brings him his sandwich & his lightly frosty ginger ale & sits next to him & they eat their lunch without talking or touching, the tv brightness dimmed but showing a youtube stream of somebody's aquarium, the volume up just enough to cover the sound of their chewing, and when shane is done eating, ilya settles him into his corner of the couch & lays the weighted blanket over his clean skin & turns the fan on high so he won't get too hot and then ilya sits a couple of cushions away, just close enough to lay a hand on shane's ankle over the blanket, not movinh, just resting there, and he plays a game on his phone with the sound off while shane sips his ginger ale & lets himself sink into the quiet bubbling sounds & easy colors from the aquarium stream and then the next time ilya looks up, shane is dozing a little, his head nodded onto one shoulder, his body covered from collarbones-down by the weighted blanket, the lines of him straight and unusually still, and ilya smiles & slips a pillow under his head so his neck won't hurt & brushes the hair back from his forehead & makes sure to leave the tv on when he slips back to their bedroom to turn down the bed & lay down the towels & pull out the toy box because when shane wakes up he's going to be sooooo heavy & slow & soft & all he's going to want to do is whatever ilya wants him to do, and ilya is a good husband, so he's going to be ready to go
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