Meow

★

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Peter Solarz
sheepfilms

Love Begins
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
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Sweet Seals For You, Always
YOU ARE THE REASON
d e v o n

izzy's playlists!
noise dept.
occasionally subtle
One Nice Bug Per Day

Kaledo Art
cherry valley forever

blake kathryn

oozey mess
DEAR READER
Claire Keane
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@itsjamesdean
Meow
*farts and runs*
james’ state of the union
My fellow Americans,
We are gathered here today to discuss the State of the Union, the Union of us Celebrities whom have chosen to viciously harass each other, to keep each other humble, to have and to caress, to stroke one another. Our Union of such glory is being THREATENED, by THIS MAN:
We must join together across the polarization of our society to END THIS FIEND’S REIGN OF TERROR!
This man has violated the Geneva Conventions. This man has violated theGibson Guitars *begins convulsing, head rotating like an owl*
I feel so unsure
As I take your hand and lead you to the dance floor
As the music dies, something in your eyes
Calls to mind a silver screen
And all its sad good-byes
I'm never gonna dance again
Guilty feet have got no rhythm
Though it's easy to pretend
I know you're not a fool
I should've known better than to cheat a friend
And waste the chance that I'd been given
So I'm never gonna dance again
The way I danced with you, oh
Time can never mend
The careless whispers of a good friend
To the heart and mind
Ignorance is kind
There's no comfort in the truth
Pain is all you'll find
I'm never gonna dance again
Guilty feet have got no rhythm
Though it's easy to pretend
I know you're not a fool
I should've known better than to cheat a friend (should've known better, yeah)
And waste the chance that I'd been given
So I'm never gonna dance again
The way I danced with you, oh
Never without your love
Tonight the music seems so loud
I wish that we could lose this crowd
Maybe it's better this way
We'd hurt each other with the things we'd want to say
We could have been so good together
We could have lived this dance forever
But now, who's gonna dance with me?
Please stay
And I'm never gonna dance again
Guilty feet have got no rhythm
Though it's easy to pretend
I know you're not a fool
On my way to the kitchen to make a cup of coffee 6 sugars 8 creams 32oz milk!!!!
woah there buddy leave some room for the coffee
*stares deeply into Paul’s eyes, connecting their minds through lightning bolts pulsating like neurons, then…*
*reaches under the podium* My fellow Americans. *pulls out a 4 ft tall bong* We must stop the ecoterrorism brought on by the 1.5 million frog army. Now watch this rip *hits bong for 6 straight minutes, throws up blood*
We have got 1.5 million frogs in the backyard folks the ecosystem will be tarnished our bees will die my crops will dry up YOUR crops will dry up the well will dry up along with the rivers and oceans then the grass will pull its own self out of the ground we must kill the frogs *hands bong to vice president Bob Dylan* hey dont fuck it up *hits bong again* Who will help me!? Where are the real patriots!? What would Teddy Roosevelt do!????
*reloads bong, then gets down from his primary color block stepstool behind the podium and marches down to Paul* Sir. Sir! SIR! *formally marches 4 feet away, turns to face him* SIR! *places both hands on the bong and flips and whips the bong around akin to the style of a ColorGuardPerformance or Milotary Gun Flip About, EXCESSIVELY, using the speed and momentum to keep the water and Herb still within the Apparatus*
SIR!
*kneels, dips head towards the ground, and holds bong out to Paul* Please use this weapon with discretion
VOTE 4 ME!!!!! Me on the phone w JFK my sponsor who wants me to Continue Being President!
So This Is It. So this is what the friendship between James Byron Dean And James Paul McCartney comes down to. Paul McBlartney Mall Cop has asked for votes upon my stage and decided to run against me. Honestly I am not even mad anymore I am so sad. Sorrowful if you will. Unhappy. Dejected. Depressed. Melancholy. Downcast. Miserable. My Best Fwend In The Whole Wide World has Betrayed me…… he knows that I can run against others but not against my own Buddies And Pals And Also Bill Clinton. I can’t believe this. I am sickened. Paul u have never purposely hurt me before but now u have. I trusted u!!!! How could u do this. How can I work in these conditions? How can I live. What am I going to do with my basement filled with various types of melons? What about the pudding mixes I keep stocked for you!?!? Do you know how expensive it is to buy 3 cases of Jell-O Pudding mix in every single flavor once per week in order to keep it replenished in the order you prefer!? U didn’t ask me to do that I did it bc ur my bff my bffl my best friend 4 life. Yet u have backstabbed me. How fucking could u Paul.
Story Time: I Was Attacked By Paul McCartney (NOT CLICKBAIT) (TEARS SHED) (POLICE CALLED) (BASEBALL BAT USED)
@itsjamesdean
James
Who The Fuck Goes There…
Paul McCartney
Obunga.
*shits on his doorstep, lights it ablaze*
THIS IS AN ATTACK
*high pitched whining sound from the sky above*
*kill bill sirens start blaring*
*morphs into a transformer and lands on the ground from the sky, farting with reverb as he appears*
*stops running, staying perfectly still, a single bead of sweat dripping off his buttocks*
*throws robot poop at him*
*shits on his doorstep, lights it ablaze*
THIS IS AN ATTACK
*high pitched whining sound from the sky above*
*kill bill sirens start blaring*
*morphs into a transformer and lands on the ground from the sky, farting with reverb as he appears*
*shits on his doorstep, lights it ablaze*
THIS IS AN ATTACK
*high pitched whining sound from the sky above*
*shits on his doorstep, lights it ablaze*
THIS IS AN ATTACK
*pees on the fire until it goes out*
this is my last straw james
How is this your last straw after all the worse shit i’ve put u thru pauK. Can u be so for real. I’m- *stomach gurgling sounds*
*maces him* THIS IS THE LAST!!!!! STRAW!!!!
*shits because of the mace* I DIDNT MEAN TO I HAD SPICY JALAPEÑO!!!!!!!!! *farts**quiet but steady hissing sounds*
heh … *tips hat * yer motor is runnin
*hissing sound intensifies*
*throws binoculars, begins running in the opposite direction*
*gears turn until head is tilted at 45° angle, his eyes begin glowing like freddy fazbear and his mouth drops open to reveal the barrel of a minigun *
*hissing comes to an abrupt stop*
*explodes*