One of my first direct contacts with Eastern spirituality was my meeting with J. Krishnamurti in late 1968. At the time Krishnamurti came to UC Santa Cruz to give a series of lectures he was seventy-three and had an absolutely stunning appearance. His sharp Indian features, the contrast between his dark skin and his white, perfectly combed hair, his elegant European clothes, his dignified countenance, his measured, flawless English, andâabove allâthe intensity of his concentration and entire presence left me absolutely spellbound. At that time, Castanedaâs Teachings of Don Juan had just come out, and when I saw Krishnamurti I could not help comparing his appearance to the mythical figure of that Yaqui sage.
The impact of Krishnamurtiâs physical appearance and charisma was enhanced and deepened by what he said. Krishnamurti was a very original thinker who rejected all spiritual authority and traditions. His teachings were quite close to those of Buddhism, but he never used any terms from Buddhism or from any other branch of traditional Eastern thought. The task he set himself was extremely difficultâto use language and reasoning in order to lead his audience beyond language and reasoningâand the way in which he went about it was highly impressive.
Krishnamurti would select a well-known existential problemâfear, desire, death, timeâas the topic of a particular lecture, and he would begin his talk with something like the following words: âLet us go into this together. I am not going to tell you anything; I have no authority; we are going to explore this question together.â He would then show the futility of all conventional ways of eliminating (for example) fear, where- upon he would ask slowly, with great intensity, and with an acute sense of drama: âIs it possible for you, at this very moment, right here, to get rid of fear? Not to suppress it, or deny it, or resist it, but to get rid of it once and for all? This is our task tonightâto get rid of fear completely, totally, once and for all. If we cannot do that, my lecture will be useless.â
Now the stage was set; the audience was rapt and utterly attentive. âSo let us examine this question,â Krishnamurti would continue, âwithout judging, without condemning, without justifying. What is fear? Let us go into this together, you and the speaker. Let us see whether we can really communicate, being at the same level, at the same intensity, at the same time. Using the speaker as a mirror, can you find the answer to this extraordinarily important question: What is fear?â And then he would begin to weave an immaculate web of concepts. He would show that in order to understand fear you have to understand desire; to understand desire you have to understand thought; and therefore time, and knowledge, and the self, and so on and so forth. Krishnamurti would present a brilliant analysis of how these basic existential problems are interrelatedânot theoretically but experientially. He would not merely confront you with the results of his analysis but urge and persuade you to get involved
in the analyzing process yourself. At the end you would come away with the strong and clear feeling that the only way to solve any of your existential problems was to go beyond thought, beyond language, beyond timeâto achieve. as he put it in the title of one of his best books, Freedom from the Known.
I remember that I was fascinated as well as deeply disturbed by Krishnamurtiâs lectures. After each evening talk Jacqueline and I stayed up for several hours more, sitting at our fireplace and discussing what Krishnamurti had said. This was my first direct encounter with a radical spiritual teacher, and I was immediately faced with a serious problem. I had just embarked on a promising scientific career, in which I had considerable emotional involvement. and now Krishnamurti told me with all his charisma and persuasion to stop thinking, to liberate myself from all knowledge. to leave reasoning behind. What did this mean for me? Should I give up my scientific career at this early stage, or should I remain a scientist and abandon all hope of attaining spiritual self-realization?
I longed to ask Krishnamurti for advice, but he did not allow any questions at his lectures. nor would he see anybody afterward. We made several attempts to see him but were told firmly that Krishnamurti did not wish to be disturbed. It was a lucky coincidenceâor was it?âthat finally brought us an audience. It turned out that Krishnamurti had a French secretary, and after the last lecture Jacqueline, who is a native of Paris, managed to strike up a conversation with this man. They hit it off well, and as a result we ended up seeing Krishnamurti in his apartment the following morning.
I was rather intimidated when I finally sat face to face with the Master, but I did not lose any time. I knew what I had come for. âHow can I be a scientist,â I asked, ââand still follow your advice of stopping thought and attaining freedom from the known?â Krishnamurti did not hesitate for a moment. He answered my question in ten seconds, in a way that completely solved my problem. âFirst you are a human being,â he said; âthen you are a scientist. First you have to become free, and this freedom cannot be achieved through thought. It is achieved through meditationâthe understanding of the totality of life in which every form of fragmentation has ceased.â Once I had reached this understanding of life as a whole, he told me, I would be able to specialize and work as a scientist without any problems. And, of course, there was no question of abolishing science. Switching to French Krishnamurti added, âJâadore la science. C'est merveilleux!ââ
After this brief but decisive meeting I did not see Krishnamurti again until six years later, when I was invited along with several other scientists to spend a week in discussion with him at his educational center at Brockwood Park, south of London. His appearance was still very striking, even though he had lost some of his intensity. During that week I came to know Krishnamurti much better, including some of his shortcomings. When he spoke he was again very powerful and charismatic, but I was disappointed by the fact that we could never really draw Krishnamurti into a discussion. He would speak, but he would not listen. On the other hand, I had many exciting discussions with my fellow scientistsâDavid Bohm, Karl Pribram, and George Sudarshan, among others.
Thereafter I all but lost touch with Krishnamurti. I always acknowledged his decisive influence on me, and I would often hear about him from various people, but I did not attend an- other lecture nor did I read any of his other books. Then, in January 1983, I found myself in Madras in southern India at a conference of the Theosophical Society opposite Krishnamurti's estate, and since Krishnamurti happened to be there and gave an evening lecture I went to pay my respects. The beautiful park with its huge old trees was packed with people, mostly Indian, who sat quietly on the ground and waited for the beginning of a ritual that most of them had participated in many times before. At eight o'clock Krishnamurti appeared, dressed in Indian clothes, and walked slowly but with great assurance toward the prepared platform. It was wonderful to see him, at eighty-eight, making his entrance the way he had done for more than half a century. climbing the stairs to the platform without any help, sitting down on a cushion, and folding his hands in the traditional Indian salute to begin his talk.
Krishnamurti spoke for seventy-five minutes without any hesitation and with almost the same intensity I had witnessed fifteen years before. The topic of the evening was desire and he laid out his web as clearly and skillfully as he had always done. This was a unique opportunity for me to gauge the evolution of my own understanding from the time I had first met him, and I felt for the first time that I clearly understood his method and his personality. His analysis of desire was clear and beautiful.
Perception causes a sensory response, he said; then thought intervenesââI want... ," âI don't want... .â âI wish . . ."âand thus desire is generated. It is not caused by the object of desire and will persist with varying objects as long as thought intervenes. Therefore, to free oneself from desire cannot be achieved by suppressing or avoiding sensory experience (the way of the ascetic). The only way to be free from desire is to be free from thought.
What Krishnamurti did not say is how freedom from thought can be achieved. Like the Buddha. he offered a brilliant analysis of the problem, but unlike the Buddha he did not show a clear path toward liberation. Perhaps, I wondered, Krishnamurti himself had not gone far enough on this path? Perhaps he had not sufficiently freed himself from all conditioning to lead his disciples to full self-realization?
After the lecture I was invited to join Krishnamurti and several other people for dinner. Understandably, he was quite exhausted from his lecture and not in the mood for any discussion. Nor was I. I had come simply to show my gratitude, and had been richly rewarded. I told Krishnamurti the story of our first meeting and thanked him once more for his decisive influence and help, being well aware that this would probably be our last encounter, as indeed it turned out to be.
The problem that Krishnamurti had solved for me, Zen-like with one stroke, is the problem most physicists face when confronted with the ideas of mystical traditionsâhow can one transcend thinking without losing oneâs commitment to science? It is the reason, I believe, that so many of my colleagues feel threatened by my comparisons between physics and mysticism. Perhaps it will help them to know that I, too, felt the same threat. I felt it with my whole being, but it appeared at an early stage of my career and I had the great fortune that the person who made me realize the threat also helped me to transcend it.
âFritjof Capra, Uncommon wisdom: conversations with remarkable people