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@itsmaxxieoliver
Hiatus?
I check this blog on a daily basis and I those I message don't really respond to me but I see activity. I think I'm going to go on a hiatus for a bit I may or may not come back but my last interaction was a long time ago. SO if anyone wants to plot message me I'll get back when I next check in. Not being a downer just bored of checking a blog daily that isn't used really- I'll be on my other blogs!
Reblog if you’re a Skins UK Indie RP account.
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ooc:
MAXXIE'S BACK AND MUSING MORE THAN EVER… really though I'm sorry that I have been gone for so long college is just the end of me.
Maxxie's all lonely! Someone should hang out with him!
A small smile crept across Tony’s usual placid features, relief and something that was vaguely similar to gratitude tugged within him. But it wasn’t gratitude, not really. Or at least he didn’t think so. Was { g r a t i t u d e } something one felt for a friend who had just volunteered to help you get off since you’ve now become a useless invalid? Tony wasn’t exactly sure but he could feel himself smiling nonetheless, he could feel himself wanting to reach out and possibly curl his shaking fingers onto the soft sleeve of Maxxie’s shirt. And he could see himself doing that as well. Huh.
“Okay." Tony heard the slight tremble in his voice as he said that one word— but it wasn’t worry or even nervousness, it was still simply because his mouth apparently remained incapable to talk properly without messing up. He trusted Maxxie, after all, there was no need to be nervous. Still. This was something new, something novel, and a part of Tony sort of remembered how he practically yearned for new things. To try something new. But he didn’t have more time to think about it for within the next moment, his mouth was covered by Maxxie’s own. Tony’s eyes remained opened, slightly amazed by how chaste it was, how so gentle. And then Maxxie’s face was inches away from his yet again— the kiss now done. “I’m sure, Max." No going back now.
Maxxie gave a smile towards him and leaned in to his ear after kissing him "I'll get ya stiff here Tony" he whispered in his ear in a low voice which was very uncharacteristic of him but he went with it. He began to kissing down his neck sucking in a couple places periodically as his hand trailed down his stomach to the bottom of the shirt.
He began to pull it off when he moved the attention that he was giving to Tony's now hickey covered neck to his lips. He let a small moan out as he kissed his gently at first but growing more and more chaste and parting his lips. He pulled away for just a second to pull Tony's shirt over his head and to pull his own off.
That was… Tony didn’t quite know what to answer. He wasn’t even sure he was serious about it all, wasn’t even sure if he meant what said a few minutes prior. Sure the fact that he could hardly do anything for himself anymore in this state, could even hardly get himself hard— which apparently was something he was quite good at before— bothered him to no end. But did he really want to try this? The kiss that they shared, no matter that it was simple presses of the mouths, were indeed quite nice. And he was curious if it would work, if having Maxxie to help him would work. But did it feel anything? Tony wasn’t even certain what it should feel like. He couldn’t remember.
"I want to." he finally told him when their faces parted, his expression never wavering. "But I don’t," Tony pressed his forehead against his, "I don’t want you to feel like— like you have to. You don’t have to.. You’re helping enough as it is."
Maxxie smiled a bit knowing that Tony really meant what he said when he was talking about not wanting to force him to do it. "I know Tone- I want to help you out in any way I can and I mean we did do stuff like this before except the roles will be a bit swapped" he smiled a bit "I just want you to be sure that you want me to try. I mean if you decide you want to stop half way through that's fine as well just I want you to be completely sure that you want me to yeah?"
He looked a him and leaned his forehead against Tony's when he leaned in. He looked him in the eyes and gently pressed his lips to Tony's. It wasn't anything rough it was just a small simple kiss. it shocked Maxxie a bit though from how delicately he was kissing Tony at the moment. He pulled away a few seconds later and looked at him "It'd be a lot of kissing and us being close together Tone- again I will if you're sure."
Tony simply shrugged but he didn’t fail to notice the slight dusting of scarlet across the other’s pale cheeks, the light flush obvious in the light. Did Maxxie like the kiss or was this merely an involuntary reaction? He wasn’t even sure anymore. But it didn’t change the fact that he felt somewhat pleased by receiving such a reaction from him, satisfied that he had managed to rouse this effect on Maxxie.
"Just—" he paused, trying to get himself speak properly. "Thanks. I didn’t know what to say, so." So he kissed him. That was normal, right? That was appropriate? But perhaps it wasn’t… perhaps he had stepped over a line and the blond wouldn’t want to be his mate anymore. Tony could feel himself getting anxious.
I can get ya stiff. Well, he didn’t quite expect that. “You can try. I don’t see what good it’ll make. I can’t get it fucking work for Michelle and that’s why she left.” He didn’t mean to sound as bitter as he did just then, didn’t mean to slag her off. But Tony was frustrated, infuriated with this whole thing. With a light laugh, he told him “Might as well let you gay me.”
He looked at him “Tony I need a straight forward answer do you want me to try or would you rather try the porn?” he laughed “Cause I mean we can do anything or nothing- just I would like to know what you want me to do.” he bit his lip and shrugged again.
He nodded “I know- Tone it’s just unexpected. I didn’t mind it at all- It was rather nice I would say!” he leaned back down in front of Tony and looked at him then kissed his lips gently returning the kind gesture. He wanted Tony to feel the spark that was a 50/50 chance of actually being there.
He wanted Tony happy and hearing him still being bitter about Michelle didn’t make his stomach set well. “I know you care for her Tony but I want to know if you want me to gay you- or at least see if you respond to the same things that I would at least!”
It was the first time he’s heard encouragements from other people other than his sister, wasn’t it? His dear father still thought he remained as one who could barely do anything from himself, controlling him in every way— controlling his every move; because Tony wasn’t able to do that for himself. His dear father never failed to remind him how he wasn’t like he was before, never stopped looking at him as if he was about to break every damn time, never held back from telling him off for even thinking of going out to see his mates. Even now. Still. No matter that it has been months since he’s started school, since he’s been out of that bloody therapy. And Tony believed him for a while— believed that he wasn’t going to get any better, believed that he was simply too stubborn to realize that himself. Until he realized that, no, he had to get it all back, because what else was there? He lost so much but it didn’t mean he was about to quit. And hearing Maxxie’s encouragement simply egged him on.
Without thinking, he pressed his lips against the other’s in a chaste kiss; just a simple press of mouths that hardly meant anything. A thank you, perhaps. A gesture of gratitude that wasn’t put into words. Maxxie would understand, surely.
"Maybe it could. We don’t know. What’s the harm?" The words were out of his mouth before he could even stop them, almost instinctual. And he felt the need to take them back, not knowing where that came from. "Sorry. You don’t h-have to help me with this— if you don’t want to."
He sighed softly and looked down at him. He was pretty happy to see that there was a sense of hope in his eyes. He knew that Tony would get better- it had to happen. Tony wanted it and so did everyone around him. Just they couldn't force it on him. Forcing it would just make him more stressed out.
He glanced down to Tony and smiled and before he knew it Tony's lips were against his own. He gave a small moan of surprise and then he kissed back pushing his lips against Tony's making it apparent that he was indeed kissing him back.
He bit his lip nervously once they finished "what was that for mate?" he tried to laugh off the blush that was on his cheeks. "I can help you if you want Tony- I mean you sucked me off I could do the same if you wanted me to" He blushed again "That's what mates are for. I can get ya stiff?"
Tony very nearly groaned in disappointment when the other made a move to sit up, not at all liking the prospect of having the warmth he was growing used to taken from him all too suddenly. But he managed to catch himself before he was able to make any sort of noise, thankfully. "I am?" To be honest, he didn't think that he was doing any better-- if he was asked, he'd say he was getting worse and worse everyday. Not just with the whole weight aspect but almost everything else. His speech, his writing, his movement-- every fucking thing. Tony felt as if there was none that he could do properly, and rightfully so. But when Maxxie took a peek at the mirror that hung on the wall across them, he couldn't help but take a look himself. "I don't look any better."
He raised an eyebrow at that, thoroughly interested to know now. "W-what happened to Chris?" He furrowed his brows as if he was trying to remember what this Chris bloke even looked like, tried to put a face on the name. Quite short, messy head of brunette, an easy smile. Those were the only things that he seemed to remember about him; which should be enough, really. "You're not--" Tony-- for whatever reason it may be-- felt like defending the blonde, taking in offense for hearing him call himself a slut. Because he wasn't that, obviously. He was good; such a good mate.
"You'd share your gay porn with me?" It was such a hilarious notion, that, and he found himself unable to stop from letting a breathy sort of laugh escape him. The only problem was, he didn't quite know when to stop. Which then turned into an uncontrollable fit of coughs.
"Tony" he sighed softly "You can walk now, you can actually talk, you can feed yourself and more- when you first got out of the hospital you couldn't do any of that-" He shrugged "it's rough right now but I do promise that everything will be alright. It's just the matter of getting it familiarized in your body again. Just like the writing though. You have to try but not try to hard." He shrugged "I know that sounds mental but when you stress about it it's more difficult to do but when you just relax a bit it gets a bit better" he gave an optimistic smile.
He bit his lip and decided just to avoid the subject with Chris. He knew that Tony couldn't quite remember everything about him so he didn't want to make him depressed. Even Maxxie couldn't handle what happened with Chris from time to time he didn't want Tony to feel worse. He laughed "You could have fooled me- Michelle hated me for the longest time for it I honestly believe she still does. Then after she stormed out of class one day I basically apologized for being a slut- the entire thing was uncomfortable." He shrugged and looked down at Tony.
He smiled and knew that Tony didn't quite realize when to stop but he didn't stop smiling until Tony was done laughing. He didn't want him to feel out of place here. Maxxie wanted Tony to be as comfortable as possible because that is what he deserved right? Comfort and a good mate beside him "Yeah Tone- I'd share it with you if you think it'd get ya stiff- You seem upset by the fact you can't and I"m sure there is something that'll get the job done" He bit his lip "Hell man I'd be worried to if I wasn't coming up and you know I'd be all over straight porn if it'd do it for me- but it won't so I'll stick to my genre" he laughed softly feeling his chest get an awkward warmth to it.
To anyone!
I would love to rp with everyone and anyone! Hit me up :)
[ screams ]
You okay mate?
He smiled and felt his face grow a bit warm. He loved that Tony was pressed against him at the moment. It made him feel like the connection that Maxxie had to Tony was mutual. “I will definitely do that he deserves it-”
He bit his lip as sighed “fuck man- we had a bit of a past in Russia-” he turned a bright red “anwar and I were fighting so I came to you and basically you kissed me and offered to suck me off- and then later I came over and well you definitely did-” he was blushing
"Tone I’m not giving you a hard time I know it’s hard-" he rubbed his back and moved closer to him "and Tone it’s gay porn-" he bit his lip "meaning it’s all dicks Tone-" he smiled a bit "I mean if tits won’t do it i could get one out or something-" he blushed again
Tony, though he wasn’t quite sure as to how, felt as if he recalled being one who liked physical contact. Who wouldn’t be after all? The press of skin against skin was something to behold, something to look forward to. Or at least, he thought he had thought as such about the matter. Right now, he wasn’t quite sure anymore. He liked the intimacy of it, being in this position, but there was an inkling feeling of insecurity slowly creeping within him. Maxxie was holding him in such a way that resembled a parent holding their child— and he wasn’t one, was he? And his body was in no shape to held like this, like he was something special. Because he wasn’t. Countless months in the hospital took its toll on his body, now he was looking far too frail and skinny. Lanky. It made him a tad uncomfortable considering Maxxie was the exact opposite, and it made him squirm slightly in his hold. “— that he does. He’s busy moaning about Cassie, last I heard.”
Russia. Tony doesn’t quite remember that he’s even been in that country much less the experience they apparently shared there. So he pushed on, asking questions about what had happened and such like. Noticing the brunette’s distress, Maxxie gave in and told him. “I sucked you off?” That was… definitely not what he expected to hear.
"Well if I sucked you off then I must not be that disgusted by the thought of having dicks in m’ mouth. Maybe I’m— y’know."
Maxxie noticed the discomfort and sat up still rubbing his back but not holding him anymore. He looked at him "you know you're getting better everyday putting on weight and stuff-" he sai completely off topic. He sighed softly and glanced to the mirror across from his bed. He smiled softly he knew Tony would remember everything eventually.
He laughed about the Russia thing. "Not remembering that trip is probably okay- it sucked for everyone except Chris really-" he shrugged "but yeah you said you were curious about it at first I was pissed but then I was drunk and decided why not. I don't regret it in the slightest but I did fuck up your and Michelle's relationship- she apparently saw what happened" he sighed "that part u feel bad about cause she broke up with you cause I'm basically a slut- I digress though" he shrugged and glanced nervously around his room.
"I mean we kissed a couple times and it was hot so maybe- if you ever want to see the magazines or anything lemme know" for a guy who was sexually comfortable Maxxie always felt awkward discussing porn or sex with anyone except for Michelle for some reason. Michelle and Maxxie got pretty close during Osama the musical and he enjoyed having a gal pal as close as she was but some Russia she strayed away from both Tony and Maxxie.
He nodded “yeah Tony I can definitely talk to him- I’m a bit pissed at em to be completely honest. He’s being a twat-” he sighed and softly scratched Tonys back. “I know he’ll come around but he honestly probably needs a firm kick to the arse” he shrugged.
He smiled softly “we weren’t the closest no but we do have a past. We’ve hung out just the two of us a couple times and I mean I could always talk to you but we weren’t as close as you and Sid were. We also have that Russia thing too but still we are good friends” he smiled at him.
"Tony I mean throwing a computer at a mirror doesn’t help" he shrugged but there are magazines- I’ve got some-" his face turned a small shade of pink "but you wouldn’t like em probably-"
Hearing Maxxie say that he was cross with Sid too made him feel a chuckle coming on, feeling somewhat childish— like the blond was being protective of him. Or at least that was how he looked at things. The soothing motions on the flat of his back made him press himself closer to the other’s front, slotting his face right in the curve of his throat, this action done half-involuntarily. Almost like a reflex. “Kick ‘im in the arse after you’re done talking.”
Tony let out a sound that resembled a hum while listening to him explain their relationship— it wasn’t as complex as he thought it would be, but it was still quite difficult to understand. “Russia?” Now that piqued his interest, making him raise his head from where it was, flashing him a questioning look. Effy didn’t mention anything of the sort, though Tony did feel as if she left something out when she was talking about the blond— if a fleeting knowing smirk was anything to go by.
"Well I couldn’t fuckin’ help it, alright?" He got so angry and frustrated about anything that he grabbed the nearest thing he could and threw the bloody monitor at the mirror. That day had been utterly unbearable— his father was telling him off for not coming home when he was supposed to, his messages to Sid remained unanswered, and the worst of all he still couldn’t manage to write his own damn name. Useless, useless, u s e l e s s.
”—Oh.” A chuckle. “Probably not… but we don’t know. Even tits doesn’t get anything moving, so what difference does it make?”
He smiled and felt his face grow a bit warm. He loved that Tony was pressed against him at the moment. It made him feel like the connection that Maxxie had to Tony was mutual. "I will definitely do that he deserves it-"
He bit his lip as sighed "fuck man- we had a bit of a past in Russia-" he turned a bright red "anwar and I were fighting so I came to you and basically you kissed me and offered to suck me off- and then later I came over and well you definitely did-" he was blushing
"Tone I'm not giving you a hard time I know it's hard-" he rubbed his back and moved closer to him "and Tone it's gay porn-" he bit his lip "meaning it's all dicks Tone-" he smiled a bit "I mean if tits won't do it i could get one out or something-" he blushed again
He sighed “I know Tone, I can talk to him and see if he’ll start coming around again I mean you are getting better. Each and every day you are. In no time you’ll be able to read, write, speak, wank, piss, and say that you were hit by a bloody truck and lived.” He gave a...
He nodded "yeah Tony I can definitely talk to him- I'm a bit pissed at em to be completely honest. He's being a twat-" he sighed and softly scratched Tonys back. "I know he'll come around but he honestly probably needs a firm kick to the arse" he shrugged.
He smiled softly "we weren't the closest no but we do have a past. We've hung out just the two of us a couple times and I mean I could always talk to you but we weren't as close as you and Sid were. We also have that Russia thing too but still we are good friends" he smiled at him.
"Tony I mean throwing a computer at a mirror doesn't help" he shrugged but there are magazines- I've got some-" his face turned a small shade of pink "but you wouldn't like em probably-"
"I can’t remember the last time I saw Sid." Tony knew how he sounded just then— utterly dejected, his voice barely a whisper. He could shrug it off as something deliberately done as to not wake anyone up, embarrassed that he went through an outburst just a few minutes prior. But he couldn’t lie, there was no way Maxxie wouldn’t see through him even if he did say that excuse. Because it was exactly that, an excuse; a poor one at that, really. Because if he was to be honest— and he hardly ever do that— Tony was disappointed and hurt and confused as to why his so-called best friend seemed to not want him anymore. Sid didn’t reply to his texts anymore, didn’t return his calls, didn’t visit the house. Even Effy was annoyed at him, and Tony knew his sister hardly got deeply annoyed by anything. He didn’t know what to think, really.
{ But that’s nothing new anymore. Not when he’s at this state. }
He simply let out a choked laugh at that, hating the way he was being right now but at the same time, relieved that Maxxie wasn’t laughing at him. Relieved that he wasn’t being made fun of. “Thanks. Just don’t tell anyone.” There. That was a joke, wasn’t it? Tony couldn’t be sure anymore, but it was worth a try.
"You think?" Maxxie’s explanation sounded ridiculous, but was it plausible? "I could get stiff," he paused to let out a scoff, disbelieving. "How? Its impossible, Maxxie. I tried. Doesn’t work."
He sighed "I know Tone, I can talk to him and see if he'll start coming around again I mean you are getting better. Each and every day you are. In no time you'll be able to read, write, speak, wank, piss, and say that you were hit by a bloody truck and lived." He gave a hopeful smile to him. He didn't like to see Tony in this way but there wasn't much else he could do for him except talk him through everything and just be there for him.
In reality Maxxie was beyond pissed off at everyone in the friend group. The one time Tony actually needs help from them they are all gone. They claim he never did anything but Maxxie knew otherwise. Tony was actually always thinking of others though it didn't show in his actions most of the time. He broke up with the girl of his life to see if Sid could get a chance with her- yes Maxxie didn't agree with Tony's logic but it was still a sacrifice.
Maxxie flashed him a smile "I won't Tony- no matter what you can tell me things and I won't go tellin others yeah? You trust me and I trust you- I couldn't break that."
He began to chuckle "Yea Tone I do think that you could get stiff- just you got to experiment I guess. I mean it doesn't work around Chelle that could be your body just not ready to bring that back into your life. Have you tried thinking about Abigail? Or like think of a time when you were surprised you were horny? Or something new? I dunno man- I'm bet ya you could if ya just relaxed and just started thinking or watching porn?" he nervously scratched the back of his head.
Tony had always been an impatient sort, that much he knew. That much he remembered. Because even until now he was exactly that, still. Impatience remained as the one thing that resembled him as his old self apparently. Which wasn’t something that he should be happy about, something to be relieved about. But hearing Maxxie say those words, hearing him say that he was right there if need be, well. A small smile started to break out across his previously tear-stained face. Just a small quirk of a smile, but that was enough. Or at least he hoped so. “Sid’s being an unhelpful twat…” Tony let his eyes close for a moment, letting the other wipe at his face. It made him feel childish.
It took him a while to realize that the grip he had on the back of Maxxie’s shirt tightened, holding onto him. And when he did notice this, he loosened his hold in slight embarrassment. “I don’t want to cry—” But there was that soft sob again. Damn it. Fucking—
He sighed. “Hope so. Michelle would come back… if, fuck it, when my cock starts working again.”
He knew that Tony did not want to be crying in front of him it was just the way Tony was. He hated to show vulnerability to anyone and Maxxie was seeing it full on. "Sid was there a lot when you were in the hospital Tony- He does feel bad about not being here but he just doesn't know what to do his best mate just lost half of his memories-" He sighed "He's worried you won't remember everything and if he brings up something it'll just hurt you- I know he's being twatty now because he isn't here but do believe me when I say he wants to be.
Maxxie realized his grip intensify but didn't say anything Tony needed to break down. As morbid as it sounds everyone needed to break once in a while- "No one wants to cry when they need to" he said softly "Tone you are a brick ninety nine percent of the time you need this- morbid eh?" he said quietly and began to scratch his back.
"Tony- I think your cock works fine. I think it's just that your mind is against getting back with Chelle'. You don't want to hurt her again and this is your bodies way of talking to your head…" he sighed "I bet you could get stiff- you just have to let it happen Tony" he smiled nervously "just like you have to stop thinking so hard about writing your name yeah? Just like that stop thinking to yourself that you need to get a hard one and just let your body react."
"When?" That was his only question now. Maxxie’s words and promises were soothing, calming even, but in the end it was exactly that. Promises. Words to ease, to re-assure, to comfort. Tony wanted to scoff though, wanted to brush it all off because what the fuck did Maxxie know anyway? A part of him was desperate to still cling onto the self-pity that was currently swallowing him whole. What else was he supposed to do other than that anyway? What was he to believe? There was no point in telling himself that he wasn’t useless, that for some profound reason he should feel hopeful.
If he wasn’t exactly that, if he wasn’t so fucking inept then why was Sid not here? Why wasn’t his so-called best friend not the one giving him that sense of comfort now? Why was Maxxie, the one person in the group that Tony never really had been close with, the one taking care of his poor, invalid self now? And Michelle? “They— they can’t look at me properly anymore.” was all he said, words still slurred together in an attempt to not stutter but was obvious that he was still struggling to do so. “My body’s full of shit. I can’t even piss without help.” That confession was laced with laughter, though he knew it didn’t escape the other that a sob followed suit no matter how much he hid it.
"Only time will tell you that Tone- I know this sucks but I'm here with you for every good/bad step of the way" He played with his hair softly and rubbed his back "Tony I'm here for you and you know this I'm not leaving. Sid is just having a hard time right now. But I'm not going to just abandon you I promise you this." He wiped some tears off of his face.
He sighed softly and held him "Just let it out it's okay to cry you know" he held the broken man in his arms "I promise it'll be okay you'll be able to piss on your own in no time" he kissed his head again this time longer. He wanted him to feel better.
