Idontknow

Just me being emo

[sayruq]

Donate to Hot meals 4 Starved Palestinian Kids in north Gaza, organized by Hani Almadhoun

Do you know what it’s like to watch your family starve? I do. My… Hani Almadhoun needs your support for Hot meals 4 Starved Palestinian

Donate!!!!!! Boost!!!!!

[barsilaybdroer]

i want to emphasize that this project is still active, despite the ongoing hardship. please give them your support if able.

[itsmeiguessidontknow]

Are you proud of me? :

Being told I was gifted in school when I was 8 is all I can remember from when I was younger. But I also remember you telling me it wasn’t enough. I felt that the harder I tried the more disappointed you were in me. Will you ever be proud of me?

I won awards in middle school but you never acknowledged them. Instead compared me to the other students who had more awards. I felt lost and I felt useless. Will you ever be proud of me?

In high school I gave up on trying and I gave up on myself. You told me you were embarrassed of me. You told me I would be nothing. Will you ever be proud of me?

It’s years later, I feel like I’m running around in a vast empty space with no start and no end. Not knowing what to do because I never that I would make it this far. But you never noticed when I was drowning and I sank further in my thoughts alone. But still now I try my best to stay afloat. Will you ever be proud of me?

But still I ask myself everyday: Will I ever be enough for you? Will you ever love unconditionally like parents should? Will you care like parents should? When will I stop being your biggest disappointment?

But really the only one I want answered is-

Are you proud of me?

[itsmeiguessidontknow]

To my First Love:

Why was I not good enough for you?

But still tell me that you like me and don’t know why. You tell me you don’t want to start a relationship because you don’t want to lose our friendship.

But you go ahead and lose me anyways.

What’s wrong with me? Will I ever be enough for someone? What should I change? Can I change who I am for someone and be happy? And knowing you’re bad for me, why do I still cling to the idea of you?

I move on but still see glimpses of you in small insignificant things.

Years later you tell me you want to hang out as if not a day went by. I wish you could feel the sadness that I felt when you said that. I would rather you tell me you hate me and forget about me. It would have been easier on me.

If I hated you I would hope that whoever you fall in love with does the same to you what you did to me. But I don’t hate you and I don’t know if I ever will. Because when you told me you liked me, I knew I loved you.

You’re my first love.

[itsmeiguessidontknow]

Hey

Lately I’ve been really tired.

of what, i don’t know?

i guess everything.