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Janaina Medeiros
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@itsmejhaaa
When you give, dont expect something in return..
Same as when you do something for others, dont expect that they will do the same.
Just be happy if they did, or atleast they appreciate.
But for me, its okay to feel tampo but dont hold on to that feeling.
And lesson learned, dont do everything for others. Dont put them first because definitely you're not first to them. Do something for yourself instead.
I learned my lesson now. Hopefully I really learned from it.
Hi tumblr! Pa labas lang ng lungkot ulit! Napapagod na ako sa totoo lang.. Ang hirap. Hirap na hirap na ako.. Sana yung buhay parang laro may "taympers" kapag pagod kana.. Tapos game ulit kapag malakas na ulit. Kasi parang hindi ko na alam pano pa mag step forward.. Parang itong sulat ko dito di ko nadin alam ano ang next kong isusulat, pano ko tatapusin. Anyways mabuti nalang din at ako lang din nagbabasa ng sarili kong post. Hindi na kailangan gandahan pa. Tutal wala namang may pake
Minsan talaga ung mismong tao pa na nagsasabi na hindi ako naiiba, belong ako ay sya pa mismong magpaparamdam sayo na hindi.. Kumbaga saling ketket ka lang at pinipilit isama dahil walang choice... Or siguro nag ooverthink/over analyze lang ako. Hahahahah anyways sorry na agad sa mga makakaintindi at makakabasa nito.
Siguro I just missed lang being in a group na hindi ko kailangan gumamit ng telepono pampaubos oras.. Buti na nga lang meron bata na nakipaglaro sakin.. Salamat sa phone at Roblox talaga atleast may pampaubos oras 😂
OFW feels like..
Madami sa mga pinoy gusto mangibambansa para kumita ng malaking pera para sa sarili at sa pamilya.. Ako sa totoo lang ayaw ko mag abroad, pinush lang ako dahil mababa ang sahod ng Nurse sa Pinas - kaya madami ding Nurse sa abroad dahil dun.
Pero alm mo sa totoo lang naniniwala ako na kung maganda naman ang ekonomiya ng Pinas, kung kahit dun ka magtrabaho kikitain mo ung kinikita mo sa abroad wala ng aalis na Pinoy, wala ng mag OFW, wala ng lalayo sa kani kanilang mahal sa buhay.
Ang mahirap lalo is ung maramdaman mo yung homesickness.. Masaya kang magbabakasyon dahil makakasama mo nanaman ang pamilya mo pero masakit kapag bumalik ka nanaman, yung mararamdaman mong mag isa ka nanaman sa isang bansang di mo naman talaga kinabibilangan.
Pero yun nga lang wala tayong choice. Baka kasi may magsabi "edi umuwi ka nalang". Lahat gustong umuwi pero ano ipapakaen mo sa sarili mo at sa pamilya mo? Kailangan mong isakripisyo ang sarili mong kaligayahan para sa nakararami (mahal mo sa buhay).
Masyadong bitin ang halos 2weeks lang na bakasyon pero wala naman akong magagawa kundi labanan ang sarili kong emosyon, pagkalungkot at tapalan ulit ng maskara na matatag ka, nakangiti ka na para bang ang lakas lakas mo at wala kang nararamdamang lungkot at sakit ng pagiging mag isa.
Ilang years na ako sa abroad kaya siguro dapat sanay na ako kaso di ako masanay sanay. Magaling lang talaga ako magpanggap na ayos lang ako, na palagi akong masaya at malakas ako. Pero may mga ganito talagang pagkakataon na nalulungkot ka, maiiyak ka pero dahil mag isa ka at wala kang kadamay sa buhay tinitiis mo lang, nilalabanan mo ang sarili mong emosyon, lumalaban ka sa buhay kahit mahirap at masakit na.
Ang bilis ng araw. Parang kelan lang kasama ko ang aking pamilya - sabay sabay kumakain ng agahan, tanghalian at hapunan. Nagtatawanan, nag aasaran pero ngayon balik nanaman ako sa realidad, walang kasama, palaging mag isa. Minsan naisip ko kung panaginip lang ang lahat sana hindi na ako nagising.. Pero iisipin ko din sila ang dahilan kung bakit ako patuloy na bumabangon sa umaga at hindi ang Nescafe char. Pinapatawa ko lang ang aking sarili kasi kailangan. Pinipilit kong maging malakas kasi kailangan. At higit sa lahat pinipigilan ko ang sarili kong emosyon dahil kailangan.
Siguro dati talaga akong Katipunera kasi lagi akong laban ng laban.. Pero mapapaisip ka nalang din hanggang saan ko ba kaya lumaban sa buhay? Pwede naba minsan sabihin na "time first" pagod na ako. Kung maari lang sana kaso hindi..
It's been a while Tumblr.. And again I'm crying. But I am not allowed to complain because everything is my fault.
On the positive side I was able to draw again my feelings just like before..
I just felt sad lang coz pag ako ang may fault it seems naparang big deal sya.
Andami ng thoughts na tumatakbo sa isip ko. Ayaw ko ientertain kasi di sya maganda..
I dont know pano tatapusin itong sinusulat ko.. Bahala na. Sana makasleep ako ngayong gabi.
Goodnight
I love when people reply to me with long messages and details and keep the conversation interesting like yes tell me everything I'm listening
I’m at a point in my life where I’d rather be alone than mistreated.
How I wish... That there is someone who is praying for me!
I hope and I pray that God will lead me to a person that He wants me to be with.
People will always misunderstood my intent. I am really trying my best to do good to everyone but it seems like they see the opposite. You are trying your best to be the best to other people but instead of appreciating it they will just reciprocate it with the things that hurt you the most, but they dont know anything - what I really feel inside. I always hide my inner side with a smile on my face and a phrase "its okay!" "I am okay" "No worries!".. But they dont know that I am hurting inside up to the point where I find myself crying just to release the pain.
So sorry tumblr and to the reader/s if have.. If I always post here what am I really feeling because I dont have someone whom I can talk to, I dont have someone to share my burdens, feelings with.. Unfortunately I am usually alone and lonely most of the time.. Thank God that I still have my tumblr account, my online diary, my friend. Atleast I felt at ease.
Just because you are not "in" to the standards of other people doesnt mean you are not important, you are not valuable, you are not beautiful.. Maybe for their eyes you are not but dont let their standards define who you are.
Mataba, Maitim, Pandak, Panget ka man sa paningin ng iba pero maganda ka sa mata ni Lord.
People will just say something that they thought is fine but sometimes we as a person must think before we even speak, because our tongue has a power to make or break a person so we must choose the words that we are going to say.
