oh, i will ruin you

@itsronniebish

Ronnie. 27. I will only break your pretty things.

583 posts

RONNIE BISHOP - ABOUT

--Basics--

NAME: Veronica Bishop NICKNAME(S): Ronnie, Ron D.O.B. | AGE: October 23, 1997 | 28 AGE THEY APPEAR: 25 PLACE OF BIRTH: Darien, Connecticut FACE CLAIM: Ella Purnell GENDER | PRONOUNS: Cisgender female | she/her/hers SPECIES: Vampire (Clan Member) OCCUPATION: Unemployed RESIDENCY: Addie's Van RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Single

Full About Page (under revisions)

#the devil knows my name; about

axiosawaitaddie

with: @itsronniebish where: the van

Swinging the key around on her finger, Addie actually felt kinda good today-- and she hadn't even taken an extra tab of something in the morning. Truthfully, things weren't good, like, in general, but for today, she'd put all of that out of her mind because she'd been out to prove something. To herself, to whoever might be looking-- but, mostly, to her little sister, who kept insisting that Addie was just going to leave her again.

Really, though, even if Addie could leave, she wasn't going to. It never really crossed her mind, once she saw what had happened to Ronnie. Even as annoying as she was, it hurt to see her in pain like this. Dead but not. Alive but not.

Addie had left Ronnie once before, and after their talk a while ago, she was going to try to never do it again. At least, not willingly. Life probably didn't have much patience left for her, thirty had really been her limit before, but now that she was closer to halfway to forty, it seemed a little unreal, like she was just on borrowed time. Like life was just giving her enough time to right whatever wrongs she could before it finally came to collect.

And so, with all of that in mind, Addie had finally bit the bullet and gotten a place to live in that wasn't on wheels. (Don't give her too much credit, though, it was just a motel room for now. One that she paid for monthly, so it wasn't as bad as it seemed. Even if Addie was still allergic to real commitment. A motel room, even paid monthly, meant she could still run if she needed to.) Now all she had to do was tell Ronnie the good news, something she felt only a little smug about.

But all of that smugness went away immediately when she opened the back door and was met with the sight of her little sister curled up in a ball, knees to her chest, sniffling and wiping her face. "Shit," Addie mumbled, tucking the key into her pocket as she climbed in. She nudged Ronnie to scoot over so she could fit, too, and shut the door. She didn't say anything at first, as she settled next to her, just pulled out her flask, took a sip, and handed it over. If Ronnie wanted to talk, Addie figured she would. She always had a habit of trying to hold things in, only to burst with it later and let it all out at once. A Bishop classic, Addie supposed.

It was really fucking stupid, and selfish, and downright lousy to be this upset about someone going on a date, especially when that someone was a person that Ronnie essentially told multiple times to move on. But here Ronnie was, crying, completely devastated by the thought that Rangi was going to go out and have a good time and it wasn't with her. She got it, okay? She got that it was cruel. She was the one that walked out. It wasn't fair of her to be upset if Rangi was moving on.

She was still crying when Addie opened the door of the van, even though she quickly went through the effort of cleaning up her face. "Fuck," Ronnie said, facing away from Addie for a moment. When she dried her face off on her sleeve, she didn't say anything. Neither of them said anything.

They were both just... really bad at this. Ronnie took the flask and drank. And drank. And drank until it was empty, swallowing the final bitter dregs of it before handing it back. Without looking over at Addie, Ronnie just mumbled, "I... Why are we so fucked up?"

#with: addie #substance use tw #addie008

"That leak," Yasin assured her, jumping at the segue to abandon the stranger and the phone in exchange for another, "has been handled." To his detriment, Yasin took any errors found in Lunar Link rather too personally. He often wore down servers during the troubleshooting, convinced the bug would be easy to track down (and it never was).

Diverted by the subject instead of polite small talk, Yasin persisted. This was probably his greatest flaw—forging ahead with little forethought for the consequences. "Have you been facing any other issues with the app, by the way? I'm on good terms with the IT department. I could get your account fixed," he snapped a finger, "like that."

Yasin realized he should barter for the information. "Next round is on me, Miss...?"

Ronnie raised her eyebrows, offering him a nod. "Noted, noted. Glad it's taken care of. I'd hate to have my nudes leaked for a second time," she joked. Maybe this wasn't particularly funny to joke about. The guy seemed pretty serious about it, much more serious than Ronnie herself was.

"Nah, it's been working fine. I mean, like, it's user friendly and shit. Easy to work, similar to the usuals: Instagram, Facebook, the like. I sued to do stuff for influencers on Insta, so, like, Lunar Link works fine, and it's nice to be able to use social media since I'm kind of, totally, legally dead," she offered up. Ronnie raised an eyebrow at the snap, but nodded. "Like that. For sure."

Well. She liked free drinks. "Bishop. Veronica, but, you know. Most people call me Ronnie. It's preferred."

#with: yasin #yasin001

xthetoddinatorx

Todd beamed, a broad smile stretching across his entire face. "Yeah. We're totes gonna look hella good in the little castle frame." Spinning around, then, he motioned toward the jester, who dragged themselves over and planted their feet at the base of the seats. "It means looking really, really hot. It's so everyone who sees the picture jealous as hell." With that, he clenched his jaw to accent his cheekbones as the flash went off and the crowd cheered.

Spinning back to Ronnie, Todd gave a laugh. "Well, I did just save the entire kingdom. They should cast you as the queen, doll." He ducked his voice down low, as though to keep said actress from actually hearing him, although she really was perched up on a platform quite far away. "I do wanna get you pizza, though. I like pizza. I like you. That's like the best deal in the Cove. For real, for real. I gotta go greet the adoring public. Everyone wants pictures and autographs, you know? It's the best. It's like being famous. You wanna meet me in the lobby in a bit? You gotta pick up your commemorative instant portrait and gift certificate from ye old guest table anyway. Oh! Can I buy you a big light-up sword? I get a knight discount."

Ronnie followed with her eyes to where Todd was pointing, staring at the camera and the sad, exasperated jester holding it as she briefly wondered the model and flash intensity that they were using. Rather than striking up a big, cheesy grin, Ronnie followed Todd's lead, taking on a more sultry pose instead. As the kids say, they were aura-farming. When the crowd cheered, Ronnie gave him a smile. "Perf."

With a snort, Ronnie shook her head. "As if." She wasn't really queen material. Definitely not for a kitschy medieval show, but not in any other way, either. "I'm totes chill with, like, letting other people get their flowers." She nodded in the direction of the actress and gave him a wink. "You're really sweet, Todd," she added. Sweet and silly and so brutally fucking genuine. "Go. Go! Greet your fans. Have fun. I'll chill in the lobby and grab the photo and gift certificate, and we can hang out afterwards." She laughed, shaking her head. "Don't worry about the sword. I'm kinda short on space and wouldn't know where to put it, anyway."

#with: todd #todd005

faerietothe-otherside

"You never complained about it before," Rangi huffed, blowing a puff of air against her palm and sniffing, as if to see if she, too, could smell the alcohol on her breath. She could. It was bitter and sweet. Red wine. The same bottle Ronnie had now just downed. Rangi tilted her head up to look at Ronnie on the counter, which just made her giggle, shrug. Ronnie was so short that even at this height, she was only a few inches above Rangi's eyeline. "Well, I mean, at least if I died here the cats wouldn't starve. Unlike if I'd drowned the other day or whatever." The admission was dropped quickly and with ease, no tightness to it all despite the it of it all.

Instead, Rangi's hands, unable to keep to themselves, snaked around Ronnie's waist and pulled her towards the edge of the counter. "Careful," she murmured, "you might fall and hit your head." Not that it mattered, since Ronnie was a vampire. She could get up and walk it off, unlike Rangi. At Ronnie's question, Rangi just shook her head. No, she wasn't going to just lead her to the rest of her alcohol, though, at the moment, she couldn't quite remember what was even left in the house. Surely there was a bottle of tequila somewhere, perhaps over by the couch. Maybe on her nightstand.

Rangi's face screwed up for a moment, unsure of what to say except, "I'm not doing it cause I owe you? I'm just...doing it because I-- because I care--" well, she couldn't say it, now could she? Ronnie had run off on her last time she had. She didn't want her to leave again. So she just left it there. Instead, she leaned in closer. "If you're sorry then--" her breath was heavy and she furrowed her brows-- "act like it."

"I'm glad that you clocked that you smell like booze and not that I accused you of pretty obviously drunk texting," Ronnie said, sighing, She softened at the sound of Rangi's laugh, though it didn't matter when Rangi mentioned that she'd apparently almost fucking drowned. Something inside Ronnie's chest went cold, catching itself in her throat and making her feel choked. "What? What are you talking about? Drowning? What the fuck, Rangi?"

Ronnie didn't pull away as Rangi's arms wrapped around her, keeping her steady. She swallowed, something tight in her throat. "I'm not going to fall," she muttered. She made no move to lean away. It'd be a later problem, she figured, finding all the alcohol. Of course Rangi wasn't going to make things easy for her, but, really, when had Ronnie ever returned the favor? It'd be easier to just wait Rangi out, wait for her to fall asleep, and go from there. It didn't matter if her tolerance was through the roof; Ronnie was fairly certain she'd pass out eventually, and Ronnie would be able to clean up.

It was just a waiting game for now. A sad, familiar waiting game, Rangi leaning in too close as Ronnie looked down at her. She was sorry. The words just didn't seem do anything. They weren't enough. Honestly, they'd probably never be enough, and that was just something she'd have to learn to be okay with. "How can I show you I'm sorry?" She asked.

#with: rangi #rangi007 #alcoholism tw #suicidal ideation tw

Amita listened. Nodded. This girl was not the first to explain the words as a soup, though the metaphor went over Amita's head, despite her height. "Why were other letters added, then? To, ah, include others, as you say?" Sure, she'd been back in town for a little over a year, but she had no exactly spent that time researching into all the ways the town-- and the world-- had changed. She was too busy dusting off the old, empty house that had been left to her, and wandering the halls like she used to wander the earth, in search of something and someone that was no longer there.

She had tried not to let it get to her but the absence of her companion, the death of her, had left an empty welling in Amita's chest that she hadn't felt since she'd first left her home over a millennia ago. "I must admit I...find a lot of those words confusing. What do they all mean? Last I knew, gay meant happy and queer meant strange. Is that no longer true?"

"Yeah, yeah, it's, like, inclusivity. Everyone's big on inclusivity." Which Ronnie knew was a good thing. She supposed it could get a little long winded, but, hey. There's no way to have a catch all term for this kind of thing because, like, at the end of the day, everyone's fucking different. Sexuality in particular.

Oh. Wow. Ronnie was about to have to explain sexuality to a stranger. That was a new one. She was a little intoxicated, too, which really added to the whole fucking thing. "Uh, okay. Gay. I mean, that and queer are kind of a catch all for, like... people who aren't straight and cis-- uh... straight means liking the opposite gender, cis means that you keep the same gender you were born with. That's super simple but kind of the gist. Bisexual means liking both. Pansexual's kind of the same, I guess, and some people use them interchangeably, but I think pan's just liking a person regardless of gender. Lesbian is typically women who like other women. Transgender are people who were born a way that doesn't really represent their actual gender. Am I making sense or am I just saying words. I feel like I'm just saying words. I'm totally not the best person to be doing this."

#with: amita #amita001

Ronnie still thought that Addie was wrong. Addie had never been this mean, fifteen years ago. Then again, neither had Ronnie. They both, it seemed were a product of the world that made them, unmade them, and forced them to walk around putting themselves back together again. Maybe that made it all even worse. How the fuck was she supposed to know?

"The difference is that I didn't know Mom was a fucking liar!" Ronnie said, throwing her hands up in the air. "I didn't know that she and Dad kicked you out, that you didn't just ditch us. You did! I'm not being hypocritical. You were more-- more informed, or whatever." Gritting her own teeth, Ronnie did her best to steady her breathing. "You wouldn't have done shit," she finally said, calmly. "Because there's no way in hell I would have let him anywhere near you. And-- And there's nothing anyone could have done to make me not go out with him." It was all just between her and him. And Cain was a monster; Ronnie wasn't stupid enough not to know that. But he'd made a monster out of her, too. And she didn't want to talk about that shit anymore.

Flinching, Ronnie hunched in on herself, making herself smaller as she listened to Addie talk. Addie was just a kid. Ronnie couldn't help that she'd needed her, though. Fine. Whatever. She'd try not to anymore.

Mechanically, Ronnie shook her head. "No difference. Not a damn thing." She took a step back. "I'm gonna-- Try not to get yourself killed tonight. Sorry I bothered you."

axiosawaitaddie

"And I did?" Addie snapped back. "I was fucking seventeen, Ronnie! I loved her, too, you know! I thought-- I guess I was fucking stupid and thought maybe she loved me back! Even with all the shit. Even though I was--" Informed wasn't quite the right word. Observant, maybe. Perceptive. She heard them arguing about her all the time, her father's raised voice, her mom's hushed yelling. She could never quite make out what they were saying but she liked to imagine their mom was defending her, that maybe she was the reason Addie got until seventeen instead of being kicked out at fourteen, the very first time she'd stumbled home high out of her mind and come face to face with her parents. In the end, it hadn't really mattered how Addie felt about their mother, because she was kicked out all the same. Maybe it was just that sense of longing, of want, that she'd gone back when her mother called about Ronnie in the first place. "Whatever. It doesn't fucking matter. You're right. I should've just known better."

Addie, quieter now, softer, maybe even a bit hurt, mumbled, "You still didn't deserve what he did to you."

The way Ronnie flinched made something cold and terrible flip inside of Addie's stomach. She pulled back, stepped away at the same time Ronnie did. The last thing Addie ever wanted to do was hurt Ronnie physically.

(It was far too late to not hurt her emotionally, psychologically. Leaving all those years ago had cinched that forever.)

"I'm--" she didn't say, couldn't. Ronnie wasn't looking at her but Addie could see how her gaze had hardened, like she was trying to push everything down inside again. Just like Addie always did. Fuck, they really were one and the same, weren't they? "Just go back to the van," she finally said, "I'll-- I'll be back eventually."

END.

#with: addie #addie007 #substance use tw

Who: Ronnie @itsronniebish Where: The Pride Parade

Will was a fireman, not a mechanic. But when you had a house to upkeep, three kids who broke everything they touched, and absolutely no money to spare for professional repairs, you learned how to fix things yourself one way or another. And you learned how to make a role of duct-tape last. These days, Will only had one kid still at home and enough income to spare for a real mechanic, but some habits died hard--which was how he found himself using a warn swiss army knife in place of a proper tool box, attempting to fix the city power until someone more qualified came along.

Luckily, he happened to have someone with him who was skilled with electronics--or so she'd said. He'd only met her at the parade about twenty minutes ago. "What do you think?" he asked. "I'm sure you know more than I do."

Ronnie was under the influence of... She was under the influence. Of drugs. Mostly weed. Laid back and easy going, more so than usual, and only mildly put out when the power went out because, fuck it, she was outside and it was hot regardless. Might as well just soak it in, right? She's under the influence and covered in glitter and getting a nice tan. There was also a really hot guy working with tools. Might as well soak that in, too.

"Huh?" Ronnie asked, letting her eyes focus back and stare at the power box thing that Will, said hot guy, was messing with. "I'm gonna be so real with you, this is, like, a lot more than I know how to deal with," Ronnie admitted. "Also, is the power out just on this street, do you think, or is it the whole town? Because if it's the whole town, I don't think I can take apart and redo a the whole electric grid, you know?"

#with: will #will002 #substances mention tw

xthetoddinatorx

Todd beamed, extending a hand to place it across his blue tabard, resting it atop his heart. "Fair lady, thank you for accepting my humble token. Wouldst thou likest to pose-th for a promotional instant portrait?" His knightly accent was not very good, in truth, but cocking his head backward, so his hair fell over his face, he indicated to where a bored-looking teenager with a lip ring in a jester outfit was waiting with a camera down in the arena. "Do you know about mogging the camera? We can do that."

Taking an opportunity, then, Todd leaned in close to whisper in Ronnie's ear. "I know I ain't a'posed to fall in love with you, doll. For real, for real. So don't worry! It's okay. Courtly love is hella different. In courtly love, you just wave at each other from towers. And I gotta do quests for you any time you want it. So, if you needed someone to go with you to your free pizza dinner, I'd have to say 'yes,' no matter what."

Ronnie snorted. "I wouldst totally pose for the promotional instant portrait," she teased, following Todd's look towards the poor jester. She offered up a little wave and was met with an eye roll, which was totally to be expected. It was kind of funny, really, but a lot about this whole situation was funny. "Isn't mogging that thing that dudes who try to chisel their jaws with hammers do? Are we trying to make the camera jealous or something?"

Softening, Ronnie gave Todd a genuine smile. "You really are a good knight, you know? Shining armor suits you." She spun the flower in her fingers. "You don't have to say yes to anything you don't want to, including getting me free pizza dinners. But I'm not gonna turn down hanging out every now and then. How much longer are you here tonight? Wanna go on a quest afterwards?" Or just a walk. Todd was always a friendly face, one that Ronnie didn't think she'd made sad yet. She hadn't ruined his life, at least not at right now, and she'd kind of like to get to enjoy that, if she could.

#with: todd #todd005

gazingatmestarry-eyed

The siren groaned dramatically. "Uhhhh, I don't know, but him bein' short is like the least offensive thing about him. Ya know? He's such a misogynistic jackass, and his hair is stupid." If Lord Farquaad had no more haters, Charlie was dead.

"I gotta.." Without taking her eyes off the screen, Charlie lifted herself up from between Ronnie and Rangi to make her way to the kitchenette for another bottle of wine. She took of sip of her new drinks and maybe a humming noise of approval. "This ones delicious!" Charlie said between long sips, as she remained at the counter and watched the movie play.

faerietothe-otherside

Rangi scrunched her nose at that. "His hair is stupid." She just didn't mention that she basically had that haircut in primary school as a child, before she grew it out. Only to cut it again once she left home.

Charlie stood up and suddenly there was no barrier between Rangi and Ronnie, who had the joint between her lips which just made it that much more difficult for Rangi to look anywhere else but there. She took a handful of gummy bears in an attempt to distract herself, trying to focus on the screen, before she finally decided she needed a hit, too. She leaned over without really looking at Ronnie and held her hand out. "It's puff, puff, pass, not hog the whole thing," she muttered.

@itsronniebish

"I've got nothing against short people, obvs," Ronnie said, motioning to herself. "I think it's just like one of those thing's they'd make fun of because he was a dude. And his hair is stupid," she agreed.

Charlie's leaving seemed to make the space seem chillier, and Ronnie watched her leave before glancing over at Rangi. "We weren't doing puff, puff, pass. Nobody asked for it after I lit it." She took another drag before offering the joint to Rangi and looking back up to Charlie. "Wanna bring that over here?" She asked. "Sharing's caring, and I'll trade you for the joint when Rangi's done."

@gazingatmestarry-eyed

#with: charlie #with: rangi #substance use tw

faerietothe-otherside

"Hmmm, yeah," Rangi hummed, laying her head on her arm as she rest on the counter. "What gave it away?" The smile drooped from her face, though, nose crinkling. She didn't really get why Ronnie was so worried about it, if she supposedly didn't care about Rangi. If this was all just supposed to be fun. After a long moment of meeting her eyes, Rangi just shrugged, far too nonchalant for what her answer would be. "Guess I'd just lay here and suffer or whatever. At least if I died, the cats would eat my body."

Standing up way too suddenly-- needing, then, to take a moment to stop the world from spinning-- Rangi sauntered around the counter and grabbed the bottle she'd abandoned to answer the door, shaking it at Ronnie. "Here's one," she said, taking another swig. She swayed on her feet and stumbled against the counter, then lifted the bottle up over her head as she smirked at Ronnie. "Come 'n get it."

Rangi just huffed. "I'm not asking you to ask. I'm just saying, the invitation is always there. If you want it or need it or whatever. I have a whole empty room available. Plus I'm like not here that often so it's not like you'd even see me that much if you did stay." At the rest of it, Rangi just laughed. Actually full-belly laughed. "God, stop saying sorry. I get it, you think you're sorry. But you sure don't act like it. I don't care if your sister yelled at me. That's like...not even your reasonability to be sorry for. No--" her face scrunched-- "reponsi-- respondi-- responsibility. Yeah."

"The fucking smell," Ronnie muttered. "And the fact that you were drunk texting, and-- you know what? I've already-- fuck this." She looked away first. She couldn't bear to keep looking at Rangi while she was like that, so fucking unbothered. "Well, I don't want that. I don't know anybody who does. For you to lay there or suffer or-- Fuck, Rangi. Don't be-- Don't be fucking gross."

Ronnie frowned before quickly scrambling onto the bar and snatching the bottle out of Rangi's hand. She could have just jumped, but this kept Ronnie above Rangi, looking down at her and raising an eyebrow before downing the rest of the bottle. It wasn't great. She found herself wrinkling up her nose, but, triumphantly, she said, "There. Got it. Wanna tell me where there rest are?" Save Ronnie from having to hunt everything down.

"Well you should take it back! Or, fuck, at least know you don't have to. You don't owe me that. You don't owe me anything. I'm the one that hurt you." Her face crumbled a little bit before it tightened, and she crossed her arms over her chest. "I am sorry. For all that... and for Addie, too, fuck it. It's kind of my responsibility to make sure she doesn't, like, be a bitch to my friends."

#with: rangi #rangi007 #alcoholism tw #substances mention tw

gazingatmestarry-eyed

Charlie's brow knit together in disbelief. "You don't know how to ride a bike?" The thought made the siren wonder what kind of childhood her friend had where she never learned to ride a bike. "Well, good. I was startin' to worry." She began to laugh then stopped. "Waitta dang minute! You don't know how to swim, for real?" With a sigh she relented. "Guess I gotta teach ya.," She trailed off as she began to nod. "Yeah, sure. We can even do whatever you want. "

Ronnie just huffed. "For real, for real, I don't know how to swim. But, like, okay. I haven't known how to swim for almost twenty-nine years, and it hasn't been a big deal." She shrugged before stretching, raising her arms over her head and standing on her toes. She didn't really need to, but the gesture was familiar, and, yeah, okay. sometimes a gal needed to stretch since she'd been kind of fucking cramped sitting in the passenger seat of a van in awkward ass positions. "Whatever I want? That's putting, like, a lot of responsibility on a guest, you know."

#with: charlie #charlie002

Location ➠ Shipfaced Status ➠ Open (@lunarcovestarters)

"This isn't exactly what I had in mind when I offered to adjust your app settings."

One mention of Yasin's profession at the counter was rounding to an hour-long inspection of a stranger's phone. "And, uh, you may want to start password protecting your photos." Cat pics, exam cheat sheets, nudes, selfies, PINs...over the years, Yasin had seen it all!

There was, usually, at least one bartender at Shipfaced that Ronnie could sweet talk into giving her free drinks, and she was never one to turn that down, even if it meant she had to get on a boat to go to a bar. She was leaned against it, sipping something that she couldn't even remember the name of, when she heard the conversation next to her. She glanced over, raising an eyebrow. "Sheesh. No password protection on your phone? And after the Lunar Link leak a few months ago? That's hella dangerous."

#with: yasin #yasin001

with: Open @lunarcovestarters where: Lunar Cove Pride Parade

The last time Amita had seen this many people crowded into the same area, there'd been a man on a stand with a rope around his neck at the center of it all. It was a celebration in its own way, but certainly not in the way the people around her were celebrating now. She did not know what Pride this festival referred to, but there were people all around with bright colors and flags held high everywhere. Her old teachings, her old way of life, would have told her Pride was something to let go of, that it was only a fleeting feeling that might get in the way of true nirvana-- but now, well, perhaps people just needed something to be proud about. She could understand that, had come to understand that her old views were for a time that had long passed. She was trying to living in the present, something she'd struggled to do every time she'd come down out of her mountains.

Now, while she'd called Appalachia her home for a long two centuries, she was still unused to its people and properties. Lunar Cove was a cozy seaside town last she saw it, and when she'd returned no more than a year ago (though what was one year in a life of over two-thousand more?) it had grown to the sprawling community it was now, big enough for an entire parade of people to march through its streets-- which were now paved with something Amita had learned was called "asphalt".

Curiously, she watched this parade from afar, content to simply observe. Soon enough, though, she leaned to whoever was next to her and asked, "What exactly is this LGBTQ, then? And what is the addition symbol doing at the end of it? What are we adding?"

Ronnie actually, really fucking loved Pride. Or, she liked a chance to roam around in revealing clothes, paint a fucking bi pride flag wherever she could, cover herself in glitter, and hopefully make out with strangers. At the very least, she could drink and dance and just enjoy life. Before the inevitable nightmare of this town came for them all.

She'd been taking a break from the heat, explaining to some guy which constellations were on the back of her arm (yes, she had put glitter on them to really make them stand out, what's it fucking to you?), when she heard someone pose a question. Ronnie looked at the woman next to her. Looked up, because, like most people in town, she was taller than Ronnie by about half a foot. "Uh, it's... it's like... gay people?" she started. "I mean, the letters all stand for shit. Lesbian, gay, bisexual, trangender, queer. I think the plus is sort of a catch-all to make sure other people don't feel left out, but sometimes there are other letters added to the, like, soup of it all. Asexual and... intersex? It used to just be LGBT."

#with: amita #amita001

axiosawaitaddie

Addie laughed, hollow and empty, digging out a new cigarette and lighting it. "I'm exactly the same person I was fifteen years ago," she scoffed. "And, apparently, so are you." It wasn't fair, and it was mean, but in Addie's eyes, it was true. Sure, they'd grown up, they'd "matured" or whatever that meant, but underneath it all, Addie was still a piece of shit and Ronnie was still a brat. Those things would never change.

"Okay, so is mom the enemy or not? How come when you fall for her shit it's fine, but when I do, suddenly I should've just known our mother was lying to me?" Addie threw her hands up. "Do you hear yourself? How fucking hypocritical you are?" The smoke in her lungs was doing nothing to help calm her nerves. She snuffed it out angrily against the brick exterior of the bar. "If I'd been there, I would've ripped his fucking dick off and then made him choke on it just for fucking touching you," she snarled, teeth, momentarily, growing sharp. All Ronnie had told her about what happened was that some guy named Cain had taken her into an alley and killed her. She wasn't stupid, Addie had an idea about what they were doing in that alley before Ronnie died. It wasn't hard to figure out when Addie was the exact same way, had done the exact same things.

"It wasn't-- I'm not--" Addie felt her words getting stuck in her throat, mixing themselves up on her tongue. She ran her hands over her face. "I'm not mad at you and Gil, Ronnie! Maybe when I was a kid I fucking-- I was fucking pissed and resentful! I tried my best, okay? But fuck-- I was a kid! I was a fucking kid, too!" For the first time that night, Addie's voice broke a little. She cleared her throat, ran a hand through her hair to try and steady herself against the burning in her eyes. She didn't get to be a kid, not really. She was twelve when she had her first alcoholic drink, thirteen when she tried drugs for the first time, fourteen when she finally realized she was the person in Gillian and Ronnie's lives that supported them the most. Maybe some of the things she'd done for them were normal sibling things, but the weight of having to be their only reliable parental figure made it feel as if nothing Addie did was just as their sister. How was she supposed to say that? Reconcile that? Clearly, Ronnie already thought she was blaming her. She wasn't. She didn't mean to. Maybe subconsciously, maybe as a knee-jerk reaction. She didn't want to.

In an effort to control her anger, Addie curled her hand into a fist and hit the brick where she'd put out her cigarette. The stone cracked, so did her knuckles.

"You're not twelve," Addie repeated with a grunt, "I'm not seventeen." She looked at Ronnie. "What difference does that make?" They were still this. Broken and pathetic and ruined. Dead and gone and changed.

Ronnie still thought that Addie was wrong. Addie had never been this mean, fifteen years ago. Then again, neither had Ronnie. They both, it seemed were a product of the world that made them, unmade them, and forced them to walk around putting themselves back together again. Maybe that made it all even worse. How the fuck was she supposed to know?

"The difference is that I didn't know Mom was a fucking liar!" Ronnie said, throwing her hands up in the air. "I didn't know that she and Dad kicked you out, that you didn't just ditch us. You did! I'm not being hypocritical. You were more-- more informed, or whatever." Gritting her own teeth, Ronnie did her best to steady her breathing. "You wouldn't have done shit," she finally said, calmly. "Because there's no way in hell I would have let him anywhere near you. And-- And there's nothing anyone could have done to make me not go out with him." It was all just between her and him. And Cain was a monster; Ronnie wasn't stupid enough not to know that. But he'd made a monster out of her, too. And she didn't want to talk about that shit anymore.

Flinching, Ronnie hunched in on herself, making herself smaller as she listened to Addie talk. Addie was just a kid. Ronnie couldn't help that she'd needed her, though. Fine. Whatever. She'd try not to anymore.

Mechanically, Ronnie shook her head. "No difference. Not a damn thing." She took a step back. "I'm gonna-- Try not to get yourself killed tonight. Sorry I bothered you."

#with: addie #addie007 #substance use tw #smoking tw

faerietothe-otherside

"Whatever," Rangi sing-songed, before she broke out in a fit of giggles. While drinking-- day drinking, night drinking, fuck even morning drinking-- had become a part of her daily life, it'd been a while since she'd had this much, this fast. She smiled lopsided at Ronnie. "You're cute." Her filter was pretty much completely gone and her hands pressed against the cool countertop, seeking out anything tactile to touch or feel. She tapped her fingers on the granite. "Why not? I'm in my own house doing my own thing and I didn't work today or anything. Am I not allowed to drink in my own home anymore?"

"Do you think you can smell it all? Like a sniffer dog! One of those, um, uh--" she snapped a few times, trying to find the word that was lost in the jumbled mess of her drunken mind-- "Drug dogs! I don't have drugs. Well, I have weed but that's legal so you can't take that."

Rangi's face pinched up, the same expression someone makes when smelling something foul. She shook her head, then shrugged, then put her cheek on the cold counter. "Well yeah, you did. But you're, like, one of my best friends. And I can't just, like, get rid of my feelings, you know? I just want you to have a place to go if you need it, no questions asked. Since you live in a van with your very grumpy sister. Did you know she yelled at me once? I came by looking for you. I think she was drunk, too."

"Jesus," Ronnie muttered. She couldn't help but soften, though. She offered Rangi a lopsided smile of her own. "And you're drunk." Still, the smile didn't last. "What if something happens while you're alone here? If you slipped and hurt yourself, if you drank too much? It's not any better just because you're in your own house and there aren't any fights for you to get into."

Ronnie wrinkled up her nose. "A fucking-- a... Oh, geez, I don't know? Maybe?" She guessed they'd find out. "If I find your weed before I find your booze, I'm gonna smoke it myself, so you better just hand over all the wine and anything else, okay?" Maybe that could alleviate Ronnie from having to do too much.

"I'm-- I'm sorry," Ronnie said quietly. Not just for breaking Rangi's heart. That felt inevitable. It was what she did, even when she tried to warn people against it. But she was sorry for being one of Rangi's best friends, too. It meant that Rangi had shitty taste in friends. "I'm not gonna ask you to take me in. But she-- what? She yelled at you?" Ronnie pinched the bridge of her nose. "Of course she did. And of course she was. Shit, I'm sorry for that, too."

#with: rangi #rangi007 #alcoholism tw #substances mention tw

xthetoddinatorx

Open starter @lunarcovestarters Location: Banner N' Blade, Matinee Performance

The crowd roared, and extending a pristinely armored hand to accept their adoration, the gallant blue knight reveled in the intoxicating gleam of victory. His valiant steed whinnied, and two ladies approached to drape garlands around his rider's shoulders as he dismounted into the dirt. His loyal footman, who had stood by his side through jousts and sword fighting and kingdom saving against the machinations of the devious red knight, placed a rose in the warrior's hand. And leaning backward, Todd pulled the helmet from his head, golden hair glistening in the spotlight overhead.

He had auditioned for this gig several weeks prior. And while he had needed some time to figure out how to properly and safely wield a flail, he was good-looking and good at riding a horse. The animals seemed to adore him, and while the day's victor and saboteur alternated with each show, Todd lived for this very moment. He was loved. The audience cheered for each dramatic flourish. There would even be autographs and photo ops in the plaster castle lobby after the show.

"What's this? It seems Sir Armand the Blue is seeking out his courtly love. They will receive a coupon from our sponsors at Ye Olde Joe's Pasta & Pizzeria." The queen's voice echoed throughout the room as she presided over the tournament from her perch.

And swaggering over to the blue section of the arena, Todd locked eyes with someone sitting in the second row. He offered the rose to them and grinned.

Ronnie still believed that ren faires and Medieval Times-esque shows were kind of nerd shit, something she'd held pretty fast to since the first one. Here was the secret, though: she kind of loved nerd shit. She liked the, like, whimsy of it. It was fun, and it could be silly, and, yeah, okay, it could be really fucking beautiful, too. Did the arena lowkey smell like horse shit? No, it was highkey. But it was still really fun, and it could be exciting.

It wasn't one bit surprising that Todd was a part of it. He definitely seemed like he could be big into the dramatics, and, well, she thought there was something kind of knightly about him. It made sense that the crowd would be going wild.

When he walked over, she felt her eyes widen slightly before settling into a lazy grin. "Not bad, hot stuff," she said, taking the flower. "Kind of impressive, really."

#with: todd #todd005

oh, i will ruin you @itsronniebish - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag