Mom life
The first day of school, a moment I’ve been waiting for nearly half a decade.
We see memes on the internet, kids back to school.
Mom holding wine glasses in pools, kids frowning in the background.
The funny posts we share as a diversion to what Mom is really thinking.
I see through the post, I am a mom and I can find poetry in anything.
I wonder if the mom is going to drink, not to relax
But to take the edge off.
As if she didn’t didn’t just buy a bullet proof back pack and sent her baby into a possible war zone.
216 days into 2019, and 250 mass shooting, Back to school should be a time of excitement.
Moms should be happy for a moments peace, children should be excited to show off their new back pack.
But now I wonder if the debate is no longer which back pack looks cooler.
Has it changed to which one is more bullet proof?
I wonder if when they pick their new clothes, do they buy more neutral colors?
If they wonder will hide it them better?
I noticed a lot of kids wear camouflage now.
I don’t know if it’s just trendy, or if it’s for safety.
I wonder if they pick out shoes, if they pick out ones that make them feel like they can run faster.
I hope what innocence they have left, they think they can out run bullets.
I hope to God they never have to, but the reality is I now have to to pray that they can.
I hope that the new shoes and back pack doesn’t make my son feel happy, but safe.
A thought I never thought I’d have.
I don’t know why I’m buying 6 packs of glue sticks.
I don’t remember the back to school list being so long, I wonder when bullet proof vest becomes a requirement.
And maybe I should buy him one, even if it’s not on the list.
I decided I no longer want to buy him bright clothes.
He has a neon yellow shirt I will never send him to school in.
A shirt I bought to make me feel safe, so I’d never lose him in a public place.
Makes me feel so scared that I will lose him in a “safe place.”
I don’t know what school supplies to make ME feel safe.
So instead, I buy a bottle of wine and a white board and markers.
Ill take a picture of my son, post it proudly.
Show his excitement for his first day of school, bulletproof backpack in tow.
Ill post a picture of me with the bottle of wine, as a diversion to how terrified I am of my sons first day of school now.
















