no idea anymore man

height: 164.5cm SW: 86kg CW: 57.5kg

[itsthefatgirlagain]

[itsthefatgirlagain]

Mom

I miss her so much. Life is utterly pointless. And I will never have closure. She died two years after we left. I didn’t say goodbye. I didn’t know her. I left her to die. I think of her all the time. My mom. The grief overwhelms me. When she died, I felt she forgot to take me with her. That if we were letting go, we’d let go together. I felt okay with dying. I thought I finally had permission to. Nothing else to live for. My mom. My love. So sick. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry my love. I loved you mom. I really did. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. I hate the way I can’t remember you. My love. It’s like we can both go. You left me. You left me here.

My soul aches. I’m always there, at your grave. I’m always there. My love. My mother. You taught me more than you can imagine. You loved me. We were friends. My love :) I wish I could hug you. I wish I could tell you so many things. So many :)

you didn’t see me grow up mom. I’m sorry

[itsthefatgirlagain]

[itsthefatgirlagain]

I fucking did that you guys<3

I finally fucking did it.

86kg-56kg

[itsthefatgirlagain]

i hate how much I interact with vomit on a daily basis lol

[wantedperfectlyy]

once you’ve been at your lowest weight anything above it just feels like a fucking nightmare

[givemebonespls]

This.

[dear-ao3]

is ketchup and french fries a salad? discuss.

[itsthefatgirlagain]

Starting a 60 hour fast!

Will update

[itsthefatgirlagain]

Day one of attempted bulimia recovery. A list of food I’m going to let myself eat as much as I want of. The x list is food that triggers gallstone attacks & binges. I just had rice, chicken, veggies, and lentils. I feel really full, which makes me want to purge, but I’m going to resist as much as I can. I kind of want to purge just a little bit to be more comfortable. I’m also kind of scared I’ll get an attack but logically I should be safe. I’m not worried about the calories so that’s good. Typing that in makes me lowkey worry though lol.

[itsthefatgirlagain]

vomit on ur necklace

[itsthefatgirlagain]

I’m too fat to leave my house aaAaAAAgggahhgggaaaagg

[itsthefatgirlagain]

I lost weight and I never think twice about leaving the house. I’m not promoting eating disorders but I’m just so fkn happy I did it

[itsthefatgirlagain]

Imagine being good enough

[itsthefatgirlagain]

Imagine growing old? Damn what a dream. Anyways, *slits wrists*

[itsthefatgirlagain]

I’m too fat to leave my house aaAaAAAgggahhgggaaaagg

[itsthefatgirlagain]

Scheduled to start a liquid fast May 14 at 00:00. Will not fail. Goal: 4 weeks. Scheduled to end fast June 11. Will weigh and update daily. I will consume all recommended nutrients and protein through protein shakes and vitamins. I’m gonna fucking do this.

[babyphat05-deactivated20250613]

I highly believe 2020 is going to be a great year for everyone. It’s like a new chapter, a new era. This upcoming year will be full of abundance, new relationships, new opportunities, positivity, and wealth. I guarantee it. 

[itsthefatgirlagain]

HAHAHAHAHA

[itsthefatgirlagain]

Starting over again tomorrow.

sigh.