Part 22: Into the Lion’s Den
- Y/N left Korea and her idol life behind for a reason - a big one. Now, three years later, she’s living her best life in LA with her two closest friends and the best fans she could wish for. Until that reason comes crashing back into her life. Will she give in? Or has she truly moved on?
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Warnings: a lil bit of violence, and lil bit of smut, Y/N doesn’t know what she wants. Bad writing mostly.
AN: I’ve been gone a while now, I hope this part makes sense!
‘Come on, just press play.”
Your finger hovers over the screen, shaking slightly, but it refuses to obey your words.The artwork of Namjoon’s new, surprise single stares back at you. Yoongi had warned you before it was released, so it hadn’t been a surprise to you, just the fans.
‘It’s the words Namjoon wishes he hadn’t left unsaid,’ your friend had explained. But what was left to be said? Had he not laid it all excruciatingly bare in his previous work? Listening to those songs had left you with an emotional rawness you hadn’t felt in years. It reminded you of back then, when he’d ask you to sing to him when he couldn’t sleep, or when the words he wrote for you were filled with hope and life. Now they were drowned in guilt and regret. Despite the tone, he still had that magical way with words. Those songs incited the exact emotions he wanted, and that is precisely why you were so hesitant to listen again. What did he want from you this time?
You’re staring so intently at your phone’s screen, wrapped up in your musings, that the sudden text tone startles you. One ping, then another, and then a cacophony of pings until you can’t ignore them anymore. It’s Nari, knowing exactly what you’re up to and begging you to just ‘press the damn button’.
It’s beautiful. And tragic. And so melancholic your heart crumbles. He’s done it again: hook, line and sinker. And you’re fucking furious.
The last notes of the song begin to fade, but the apartment is empty. You’re already gone.
LA’s streets are still busy, despite the late hour. But the combination of an oversized hoodie and no makeup helps you blend in. You prise your fists open, wincing at the crescent marks left in the soft palm skin, and pull out your phone.
“Hello, Y/N? Are you okay?” The words come quick, like he was expecting the call.
“Fine, Hobi. What’s his room number?” Your words are short, almost barking out the question. Hoseok hesitates, you can hear it in his breathing. “Come on, Hobi. Please.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea…”
“Hobi, I swear to god if you don’t give me that number I will dig out those messages from back wh-”
“Fine! It’s 325… call me if you need me.”
You hang up after a quick goodbye, stalling only to check you’re turning down the right street. Soft patters of rain begin to surround you, quickly gathering in intensity until it’s a full on downpour. You hurry down the street and dip into the hotel’s lobby, shaking out your soaked hair and sleeves.
“Ma’am, can I help you?” The receptionist flashes a charming smile, and you reply with a flash of the keycard Hobi had lent you last time you visited to speak with him. “Ah, have a great evening.”
Your rain-soaked hoodie is chilling, but the fire in your stomach warms you. It rages through you, writhing and flaring, threatening to boil over at any moment. The rain had only fuelled it. But you can’t let it out yet, you have the full speech planned out along with a counter to every possible response. You practice the words again as you locate room 325 and slam your fist against the door.
What you hadn’t prepared for, however, was actually seeing him. The door creaks open and there he stands, wearing nothing but a pair of low slung basketball shorts, wet hair splashing droplets against his tanned skin. Running a quick scan over him, you can’t help but note the drops trailing down his defined torso. Much more defined than last time you’d seen him.
“Oh hi, Y/N…” The fire flares up again, heating your cheeks and forcing your eyes back to Namjoon’s face. His own eyes are blown wide at the sight of you at his door. His heart is beating so hard he’s sure you can hear it.
“Kim Namjoon, you dick!” You raise your hands to shove him back out of the doorway and step in behind him. He’s about to open that beautiful mouth when you raise your hand again and bring it sharply across his face. Namjoon barely flinches at the contact. “How fucking dare you? Every time I see you I seem to get hurt. I think I know the full picture only for you to reveal yet another part of this fucked up story. Why couldn’t you have just told me all of this the first time? How am I supposed to not forgive you after listening to that?”
You’re crying now - fat, angry tears that merge with the rain from your own soaked hair. You’re a mess, and he… looks like a greek god before you. Namjoon’s face softens, and he drops the hand cradling his red cheek. Instead he reaches it out to you, brushing a tangled strand of hair from your face. He’s so close now, so painfully close you can feel the heat radiating from his skin. He’s so warm, and you’re just so cold.
“So cold.” You mumble. Before you can stop yourself, you’re grabbing for him. Wrapping your freezing fingers over his broad shoulders and pulling him down to you. He doesn’t fight you, even now as you tangle your fingers into his hair and close the gap.
Your lips are cold as ice, but he shivers for a very different reason. It’s been over three years since he last kissed you, really kissed you. God, he’d missed it. He lets you take the lead, scared he could make the wrong move and ruin it all again. The kiss is everything Namjoon could have imagined; soft and deep and so beautifully familiar. Like coming home.
Almost the exact same thoughts are running through your mind. You fit so perfectly together, and he holds you so delicately. As if you may break at any moment. To be fair, no one knew how to make you melt quite like Namjoon. The way his large hands splay against your back, and the small breaths he releases between kisses make your knees weak. It’s textbook really, all of the fiery sparks and blinding light a girl could dream of. It’s maddening.
Pulling back, you’re smirking at Namjoon’s whines of protest. He’s not whining for long when you’re pushing him back again until he’s flopping down onto the plush hotel sofa. “Graceful as ever, Joon,” He’s laughing and your heart is swelling at the sound. You climb onto him, straddling his muscular thighs. The breath catches in his throat. You stare down at him through thick lashes - an angel above him. Despite the bare face and tangled hair, he’s never seen anything more breathtaking. But now you’re kissing him again and all thoughts drift away. Now it’s just your lips on his, your skin on his… your hips on his. The heat sinks from his face, shooting downwards. He freezes.
“Sorry, I can’t help-” You cut off his words with a roll of your hips. The simple moves sends him straight to heaven, and you’re not far behind. Hitching up your skirt, you repeat the action, revelling in the moans you earn from him. His chest is firm under your wandering hands, this physique is new to you and you intend to explore it all.
“Please…” It’s barely a word, just a disguised breath while he presses feverish kisses to your neck and jaw. But it’s all you need to dip your fingers into the waistband of his shorts. He’s already painfully hard, leaking over your fingers when you take hold of him. Namjoon’s hands clench against your ass at the sensation. “Please let me fuck you.”
Should you? Is this a good idea? Will this be a mistake? All questions that fail to cross your mind. With his lips at your throat and his dick in your hand, how could this be wrong? Namjoon nips at the hollow of your throat, sending bolts of pleasure straight between your legs. Shoving your thong to the side and lining yourself up, you sink down onto him. A perfect fit.
“Oh shit. Shit, what have I done?” Realisation hits you the second you open your eyes. This is not good. Not good at all. Crawling from under the covers, you spot your now-dry hoodie over the sofa, and your skirt on the coffee table - thong nowhere to be found. Namjoon groans and blinks in the morning light. His hair forms the most adorable birds nest, falling into his equally as adorable fresh face. You stop, hoodie half way over your head, and hit him with a sheepish smile.
“Y/N… what are you doing?”
“I’m leaving. Sorry, this was a bad idea, I don’t know what I was thinking.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Last night was a mistake. I hit you again.. then I kissed you again… then… oh I’m so sorry,” Your whole body cringes as you think about it, but he’s clearly not bothered. Pushing himself up onto an elbow, Namjoon catches his bottom lip between his teeth. A move that nearly has you climbing back into bed. “No! This is wrong, and confusing.”
“No.” Namjoon’s voice is firm and demanding, but there’s an edge to it. Something you’ve never heard in him before: desperation. “I know I’ve hurt you, and I keep hurting you. I want to fix this and fix us. Last night… I know it was just sex, but there’s something else there too. You can’t deny it. It’s been three years, have you found anyone who can make you feel like that? I know I haven’t… I can’t live without you in my life. Please don’t make me live without my moonlight.”
“Namjoon, you can’t say things like that. I do forgive you for the past, don’t get me wrong, but am I supposed to just trust you again because of song and a screw? Am I supposed to just jump straight back into a relationship that broke me?” He was right of course, you’d tried to drown out the memory of him many times. But no one came close. No one touched you like he did, sexually or emotionally. Last night just confirmed how true that was.
“We find ourselves at an impasse,” You scoff at his comment, averting your eyes when he pulls the covers back and climbs out. While he locates his shorts, something hits you.
“Huh, it’s like the beginning of our relationship… just the other way round.”
“That’s good! It means it will be different this time, right?” He finally covers himself with his shorts, still leaving too much skin bare. As much as you enjoyed his new body, and the extra confidence that came with it, you weren’t going to crawl back into the lion’s den. Not before you could be sure it was fully tamed.
“No, this was a mistake. I’m sorry for confusing things… please let’s try being friends first. I’ve got to go.”
With that, you dashed to the door and yanked it open, running straight into Kim Seokjin. Of all people, why him? All you offer is a quick ‘Jin oppa’ and another sheepish smile. Then you’re off down the corridor, prepared to run commando all the way home.
Jin stared after you for a moment, trying to fit it all together. The last piece of the puzzle clicks into place when he spots a shirtless Namjoon at the door.
“Christ, what have you done now?”
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