Warnings: crotch sniffing, licking through the underwear, fingering,and penetration.
Summary: After a beautiful backyard wedding, they end the day in passion
It was four hours before our wedding and I was feeling butterflies in my stomach.
"How are you feeling?" My mother asked as she watched the makeup artist do my makeup.
"I'm both excited and nervous," I replied.
I couldn't believe that after dating all through high school, college, and our first year as working adults," Jungkook and I were finally going to get married.
"My baby is about to become a wife," my mother said in awe.
She grabbed a tissue from the table and dabbed the corners of her eyes. She didn't want to cry and ruined the makeup artist hard work.
I took her hands in mine and said," I'll always be your baby. You're not losing me. You're just gaining a son."
"I couldn't pick a better man for you. Jungkook adores you," my mom said proudly.
"And I adore him as well," I said.
The makeup artist finished my makeup, and I walked to the full length mirror to give myself a once over. One side of my afro was pinned back, my make up was soft glam and my dress was a champagne tulle A-line gown. I looked and felt beautiful.
"You look stunning," Sophia said.
"Thanks, sis," I said. "You and mom look great. "
"Thanks, sweetie. Your sister and I really wanted to fit your golden hour theme," my mother said.
"I've never to an golden hour wedding. What made you choose that theme?" asked Sophia.
"I always wanted to see a sunset instead of looking at a picture," I replied.
My mom, my younger sister and I talked until it was time for my walk down the aisle.
I pushed the screen door opened, and music started playing. As I walked down the terracotta aisle runner, I smiled at all of our guests. Our wedding was relatively small. Our guest list consisted of my mother, my sister, my childhood friend, his mom, his dad, his brother and his childhood friend. When I got to the end of the aisle and laid my eyes on Jungkook, I felt my breath being taken away.
He looked good with his slicked back black hair and tan linen suit.
"You look handsome," I mouthed.
"You look gorgeous," he mouth back.
The photographer quietly took photos while the pastor said his non-religious speech. We repeated our vows, slipped the ring on each other's fingers, and shared our first kiss as husband and wife. Before going inside for the home cooked meal my mother prepared, we took photos with everyone.
----
Jungkook opened the door to the honey moon suite and carried our weekend bags in. I closed, locked the door, then wrapped my arms around his waist. He turned around in my arms and kissed me.
"How does it feel to be Mrs. Jeon?" he asked.
"I feel happy. I'm not going to lie, I thought college was going to end us."
"Why?"
"College girls are different from high school girls, and I'm sure you caught the attention of a few."
He reached into his pocket and pulled out the Disney Beauty and the Beast Enchanted Rose ring he gave me on our one year anniversary.
"When I gave this ring to you six years ago, I promised myself and you that I would be loyal to you and marry you one day. Those college girls had nothing on you. You're the only girl my eyes see."
"I figured that out pretty quickly when you shut down a girl who was flirting with you right in front of me."
"I'm glad you got over that insecurity pretty quickly, but if I ever say or do anything that makes you feel insecure, please let me know. The last thing I want to do is make the love of my life feel insecure."
"I will."
"Are you up for some lovemaking or should we wait until tomorrow?"
"I'm up for it. I went to bed early the night before."
"Allow me," he said, stepping behind me.
"This dress is lovely on you, but I can't get to your beautiful brown skin with it on," he said, pulling the zipper down.
As he pulled the zipper down, the back of my champagne colored lingerie was revealed.
"Holy shit! You weren't joking about matching everything to your dress."
I turned my head, winked at him and stepped out of the puddle of my dress. He picked the dress up, put it on a hanger, hung it up and followed me to the bed.
"Thank you for putting that up for me."
"Of course, babe. I know you paid a pretty penny for that."
He dropped to his knees and placed my heel clad feet before removing my shoes. He positioned my left foot in an upward pose on his thigh and gently glided his knuckles across my foot.
"How does this feel?" he asked.
"It feels good. Any stiffness I may have in that foot is gone," I said with a sigh.
He smiled and gave my right foot the same treatment. After he finished rubbing my feet, he hooked his finger under the string of my thong and snapped it against me.
"I don't know why you even bother wearing thongs. They barely contain your fat lips and I'm not talking about the ones on your face," he said with a grin.
"They make my ass look good."
"Speaking of ass." He reached under me and gave my butt a squeeze.
"Damn! You've been going hard on the lower body work. Your butt is as firm as a peach."
"Thank you, kookie," I said with a giggle.
He buried his head between my legs and and took a long sniff.
"God Damn! You smell intoxicating."
Instead of removing my thong, he licked me through the fabric as if he were licking an ice cream cone.
"Jungkook," I moaned.
When he was satisfied with his work, he stared at the mess he had created. My thong was soaked with his saliva and my juices, clinging to me uncomfortably. He removed my underwear and plunged two fingers into me. Due to his earlier ministration, I was wet enough that I didn't feel any discomfort. While scissoring his fingers inside of me, he pressed down on my lower belly.
"Jungkook," I moaned loudly.
"Does this feel good babe?"
"Yes."
"More intense?"
I vigorously nodded my head and pressed down on his fingers.
"Good. I'll use this technique instead."
He pulled his fingers out and stripped off his clothes. Unlike with my dress, he left his suit on the floor. He put on a condom and slid into me.
"You're so tight and wet," he groaned.
He pulled all except the head of his cock out and plunged it back in. He gave me long, deep strokes that had me chanting his name like a prayer. He bit his pierced lip and started pounding into me harder.
"Fuck! Jungkook," I moaned.
He leaned down and gave my nipple a light bite. The slight stinging sensation combined with the pleasure from his thrusting sent me flying into an orgasm. He let out a loud as I clamped down on him and he filled the condom with his load. He carefully pulled out, tossed the condom in the trash, climbed back in bed and snuggled up to me.
"Let's get some rest so we can go down stairs for breakfast in the morning," he said.
↳ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬; in order for you to pretend to be his girlfriend, he helps you with your sexual desires ⏤ he calls it mutual help
⇢ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: jungkook x reader
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⇠ 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯. | 𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐱 | 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 ⇢
Going back to reality leaves a bittersweet taste on your tongue and a strange pressure in your chest. So much has happened in Hawaii in the span of just a few days, leaving your existence feeling overwhelming. The rational part of you tries to convince you that, in the end, it’s exactly how it’s meant to be.
After all, this is what you wanted in the first place.
It was your decision.
But rationally, the discomfort from recent events lingers, slowly swallowing you whole. And no matter how hard you try to pretend you can go back to how things were two years ago, too much has happened – there’s no way back.
Dwelling on the past never helped anyone. It only tortures you.
It’s strange – your thoughts spiral as you desperately try to pinpoint exactly what you’re feeling. It’s confusing, painful, and frustrating.
None of the things you’ve done or experienced with Jungkook do you regret. You know very well that, at the time, it was exactly what you wanted – and you acted on instinct. You lived in the present.
Yes, you may have had moments where you told yourself you’d fucked up, that you’d acted purely on your needs and wants. But looking back now, you don’t actually regret it. Maybe you convinced yourself you did – but you don’t anymore.
It was your doing. Yours and Jungkook’s. Two adults who consented to all of it.
Sure, maybe it wasn’t the smartest idea to let it go that far. Maybe you should’ve never crossed the line from being best friends whose closest contact was a tight hug.
But God. You’re insufferable.
Just thinking about all the tension, excitement, and joy makes your toes curl, and you feel defeated knowing you won’t experience it again. Stupid–yes, you’re aware. You’re so fucking stupid.
But if you want to bring your friendship back, you have to set a boundary. No physical contact beyond a hug. No kisses. No intimate touches. No sex.
Just you and Jungkook, writing a new chapter. You know you probably won’t be able to return to the friendship you had years ago – but it’s time to work on it, to get as close as possible. That’s your wish.
Things are awkward for now. But there’s still a fragile, hopeless kind of hope that you’ll be able to work it out somehow.
Small steps, you tell yourself.
Standing at the airport, waiting in line to board the plane, feels like leaving something behind. In a way, you are. Once you’re back in Korea, something unknown and uncertain is waiting for you – especially when it comes to your relationship with Jungkook and how it will continue.
Even your interactions with him have been reduced to a minimum. You’ve only talked about basic things – whether you packed everything before leaving the beach house, the cab’s arrival, the flight departure, or whether you were hungry while waiting to board.
Here and there, he shows you his screen – a few funny videos he’s scrolled past on TikTok. You don’t blame him. He’s trying. But is this how it’s going to be?
Even on the way to Hawaii, with your hands always finding each other, there was nothing hollow between you. Now, it’s different.
And even though you understand the reasons why, it’s still hard to come to terms with.
“Want something?”
“–Hm?” Interrupted by your never-ending thoughts, Jungkook’s voice cuts through them.
He and the flight attendant both look at you, waiting for an answer. The flight attendant – perfectly neat – stands in the aisle, pushing a cart with meals. Jungkook holds his card in hand, ready to pay for the coffee about to be handed to him.
“Um–no, I’m good. Thanks.” You give her a small smile. Jungkook pays, and you turn to stare out the window, met with the same stretch of white clouds you’ve been watching for at least an hour.
Jungkook’s been staring at his phone, too polite to put on headphones and completely zone you out. There’s just nothing you could possibly say to him without feeling the strange atmosphere between you. You’ve tried to make conversation, but it always feels off – ending too quickly, which is probably for the best. At least then it’s not unbearably awkward.
It feels like you’ve run out of topics altogether.
You’ve tried – who’s picking you up from the airport. Whether Taehyung and Jimin reached out. If he’s ready to get back to work.
Just the basics, deliberately skipping anything about the actual vacation. You know it’s waiting for you as soon as you land.
He sips his coffee, not questioning your choice to decline anything. You close your eyes, desperate to clear your thoughts and focus on getting some rest. It takes a while, but eventually you drift into a light nap – still aware of your surroundings, even of Jungkook briefly speaking to a flight attendant who’s gathering trash as he tosses the paper cup away.
You’re not sure how much time passes by, keeping your eyes closed until a soft hand gently shakes you out of your daze.
“We’re here.” Jungkook announces, briefly met with your eyes opening as he unbuckles his seatbelt.
Here comes the reality.
“So–let me get this straight… you two went to Hawaii alone, got into a fight because of another woman and man, then ended up having sex?”
If you could curl up in a ball and hide yourself from Maya’s brown eyes, you would do that instantly. You haven’t even told her all the details and her summary actually fits. First of all, you weren’t planning on telling anyone what went down. But she has a great detective way of asking. One look at your face and she knew you two ended up hooking up again.
“Well–technically yes.”
You told her the part around Nara and Gabriel, reasoning why you’ve done it and up to your satisfaction, she understands why you’ve done it.
You’re currently at hers and Namjoon’s place, luckily Namjoon’s hanging out with friends.
“And what was the reason for ending it?”
You look at her in bewilderment as if it wasn’t obvious.
“Wait–you don’t have any cameras here, right?”
Maya snorts, but there’s nothing wrong with being delusional. You don’t need Namjoon checking any potential footage randomly and hearing the unbelievable story of yours. Not to mention he’s one of Jungkook’s good friends – not that it means anything – but it’s not on your wishlist for anyone else to know.
“No, not yet. We’re planning to buy one because after the wedding I would like to raise a puppy, so we probably will need cameras around here.”
“Puppy?” you snort, “I'm pretty sure you two have other priorities once the honeymoon starts.”
Maya laughs, looking suddenly sheepishly. “You don’t have to worry about any cameras. So kiss and tell.”
“I probably won’t kiss anyone any time soon–for my sake.”
Maya laughs again, finding humorous your sarcastic coping. Well, at least you’re trying to joke about certain things.
“Why would you end it?”
“Maya, come on–” you tsk, shaking your head.
“What? You know my thoughts on this. You’re both single and hot people. You just fit–in all kinds of ways.”
You grab a pillow and throw it at her. Her laugh resounds through the entire living room as she totally forgets the bag that’s been delivered to her. She’s sitting on the couch, a box long forgotten as she seems to eat up every word that’s coming out of your mouth.
“We kept going in circles, Maya. No matter how many times we ended it, somehow we always just ended up–”
“Having the best sex of your lives?”
“Maya, I swear–”
“Sorry, I know it looks like I’m taking it lightly but I just don’t understand what you’re so scared of. If it feels right, who cares?”
“Because it’s not right.” you argue.
She looks shocked, “Oh…”
“It’s not right, in all forms and ways possible. We–I had a pregnancy scare.”
“Holy shit.”
“Yeah,” you sigh, “It made me realize that if the test–if I ended up pregnant, our whole lives would change and that scared me. None of us want that and it was the last drop. We were careless. It keeps ruining our friendship.”
“Friendship?” Maya cocks her brow. Curls tighten in a wide ponytail as her coconut oil fills your senses. “Honey, it’s a relationship by now, no friendship.”
“There’s no relationship.”
“I–” she stops for a second, collecting her thoughts before she opens her mouth again. “Understand what you mean and we don’t have to define the term. I just mean–yeah friends sometimes fuck but you said it yourself. You and Jungkook kept going in circles. You’re both attracted to each other, hell, I don’t think I know anyone personally that would have that much attraction to one another. You can’t get enough of each other. Why just let it be and see where it gets you? If you guys wanna fuck, so be it.”
“I just told you. I don’t need to be reckless, end up knocked up by my friend–that would just complicate everything, not to mention I don’t want kids now. I don’t want it with someone I sleep with.”
“What are you scared of? Hm?” she asks softly. “Are you scared of love?”
You almost choke on your spit, “I don’t love him!”
She cocks her brow, “You sure?”
“I mean I do–not in that way though.”
“Because you don’t let yourself.”
“I don’t need to,” you argue. “A relationship could get messy and I don’t want to lose him. I don’t need to try it just for fun, what happened in Hawaii opened my eyes.”
“I understand,” she says, “Have you guys talked since you arrived? Taehyung was your drive, right?”
“Yeah he was,” you nod, “He obviously asked how the vacation was and all sorts of questions. You know Taehyung. And as for us talking–no. I mean we do have a group chat and we both chatted there, but we don’t really interact directly there.”
“Awh, I’m sorry. You’re sad.”
You try to fix your face from whatever expression there was. “No, I’m okay. I don’t expect everything to be just back to how it was. I think we both need some space before we can see each other.”
“Hey–aren’t you supposed to meet next week? I heard Namjoon about them hanging out at that new place around the corner from where Jungkook lives. I’m pretty sure Joon mentioned you will be there too.”
“I mean–I agreed to come, I just–”
“No, no, no. You won’t decline and you have to go, Y/N!” she almost whines. “The more you keep your distance, the more it will affect you. If you want things to go back to normal, you have to get through this uncomfortable and awkward phase.”
“I know, I know. I’m aware.. I’m just scared of what the dynamic will be.”
“I understand. But I might be there as well. We can just hang out. There’s too many men anyway.” She rolls her eyes as if men bothered you.
You chuckle, “You’re about to get married.”
“Yeah, can’t believe it’s happening. But men are men, come on.” she jokes, both of you laughing together.
“Good thing there aren’t any cameras here, huh?” you joke, another crack of loud laughter easing the topic.
“Well, well, well–if this isn't a full-time beach bum. Finally came to do some work?”
The familiar voice sends shivers down your spine as you can feel the eyes burning your back. Turning around, you’re met with one and only person who would have the guts to call you that so openly and shamelessly. You would’ve laughed at the nickname, but you won’t give him that satisfaction.
Min Yoongi stands there, with fully ironed button-ups and hair slightly longer than you remember them to be. He looks neat, wearing one of his fancy colognes you faintly can smell in the air.
To be completely honest, you kind of like seeing a fresh face that reminds you of your work-life, even though there’s a subtle annoyance, of course. You would never admit it out loud and minus the annoyance, you’re glad to see another man’s face that you interact on a daily basis with. Not that you want to. Since you work together, you’re forced to interact – even though you barely do if it’s not some snarky remarks to annoy the other or something work related.
“Just say you’ve missed me, don’t be shy.” The coffee machine behind you makes a noise while it starts pouring coffee, as Yoongi’s lips curl into disgust.
The sight makes your lips twitch in amusement.
“The only thing I’m missing is the air without your presence.”
“Ouch–” you feign hurt, a palm over your heart. “It’s okay. I know deep down you’ve missed me.”
“Yeah, sure,” he rolls his eyes.
“You came here to talk to me. That proves my point.”
“It proves nothing. I came here to make myself a coffee.” he points out and although you feel your cheeks pinch from the burn, you regain your posture and eye-him up and down.
“God, I almost forgot how annoying you are.”
“My pleasure.” he smiles sarcastically.
“I’m sure it is. Feels like tormenting me is the only pleasure you’re getting.” You make sure he sees the tight, forced smile as he scoffs, briefly looking away.
He wets his bottom lip. “Really?” he asks, a hint of challenge in his voice. “How many times did you have sex with that best friend of yours?”
For a brief moment, you feel heat rise to your cheeks and the back of your neck under his direct words. One thing about Yoongi is that he loves getting under your skin.
You take a second too long to reply, which only feeds into his assumption–and for once, it’s not entirely wrong. Still, you don’t want to give him the satisfaction of being right.
So you lie, straight through your teeth.
“None.”
“Mhm,” he hums behind you, clearly not believing you for even a second.
The coffee is done, the machine letting out a soft beep. Taking the cup into your hands, you fall back on the one thing that always masks the truth.
“Don’t worry. Maybe in another universe, you and I would have a chance.”
Watching Yoongi’s expression shift into pure, unmistakable disgust makes you laugh hard enough to nearly spill your coffee.
“Yeah, let’s hope that universe never makes it.”
Snorting, you take a short sip of your coffee, hoping it might wake you from your dazed state. The truth is, you didn’t sleep well. You woke up in the middle of the night so many times you lost count. Every time you closed your eyes, it was like you were back in Hawaii – on the plane, or anywhere Jungkook was. He invaded every inch of your dreams.
You once read that dreams are unprocessed events. This feels like proof of that.
You’ve done everything to make yourself presentable; not a single person could guess how your night really was. Yoongi moves to the machine, making himself a coffee.
Opening your mouth to steer the conversation somewhere else, you’re interrupted by someone calling your name. One of your co-workers greets you and quickly slips into a friendly, if slightly nosy, conversation about your vacation. She asks all the usual questions.
You welcome it, though. It seems you need more interactions with other people – anything to keep your mind from drifting back to the one person who keeps invading it.
When you glance behind you, to where Yoongi had been standing, there’s nothing – only the faint smell of his strong americano lingering in the air.
The rest of the week passes in circles. You go to work, come home, and keep yourself busy with small things – organizing cupboards, doing chores, anything to stay occupied.
The group chat mostly consists of Jimin and Taehyung texting each other. Jungkook says he’s had a lot of work since getting back and is still catching up. He replies here and there, usually when they mention him, but otherwise, the chat feels… off.
It’s true – you and Jungkook haven’t spoken directly. And you find yourself wondering if you should just send him a quick text.
That’s what friends do, right?
Even Taehyung calls both of you out for being unavailable, but you fall back on the same excuse Jungkook uses. You’re busy, catching up with everything.
It’s not really an excuse – you are busy. The difference is, you’re making sure you stay that way.
After Taehyung’s comment, you do try to react more to the things they send, hoping he won’t question it further or corner you the moment he gets you alone.
The day of your hangout is here, and you make sure you look as good as you possibly can. You spend a little too long in front of the mirror, adjusting things no one else would notice, just to feel a bit more in control. There’s an odd feeling blooming in your chest, a quiet anxiety building as you prepare to face Jungkook again. It sits there, persistent, like something you can’t quite name but can’t ignore either.
Once you get there, you feel like a high schooler about to take an oral exam in front of the class. A strange comparison, but you swear – the same tight knots twist in the pit of your stomach. Your hands feel slightly restless, unsure of where to settle, and every passing second stretches just a little too long. You catch yourself overthinking the smallest things–what you’ll say first, how he’ll greet you, whether it’ll feel normal at all.
Much to your disappointment, when you arrive, there’s no sign of Jungkook. At first, you tell yourself it might be for the better if he shows up later. Maybe then you’ll feel a little more in control. But it turns out today isn’t that kind of day.
After twenty minutes of talking about everything and nothing, you drift closer to Jimin. “Where’s Jungkook?”
For a moment, Jimin seems taken aback by your question, but he quickly shakes it off. “He’s not coming,” he says. “I thought you knew.”
“Yeah–yeah. I thought he was coming.” You try to play it off.
But even Jimin seems to notice something’s off. Out of everyone, you’d be the one to know. If the thought lingers in his mind, he doesn’t push it – just gives you a small, easy smile.
“He said he’s got one more big project to finish.”
And maybe that’s true. You know how Jungkook is when it comes to work – how easily he loses himself in it, how little time he leaves for anything else.
But still…
You can’t shake the feeling that you might be part of the reason he didn’t come.
When the waitress comes over to take your order, you sheepishly lean toward Jimin and ask if he’d be able to take you home. You feel a little too relieved when he has no problem with it, already offering to come back with you tomorrow so you can pick up your car.
You order soju, desperate to have fun–to forget the missing presence of your friend.
At some point, the others mention how it’s a shame Jungkook couldn’t make it. You just smile, a little too quickly, a little too tightly, hoping no one lingers on it long enough to connect the dots.
It’s just another reminder of how much everything has changed.
By the time it’s been two weeks since you last saw Jungkook, you start getting the feeling he’s avoiding you. Surely, he can’t be that busy to miss every single hangout.
On Tuesday, you all gather at Jimin’s place for a quick dinner consisting of junk food and a movie that always takes at least an hour to choose. Everyone in the group prefers different genres, which makes it harder to come to a decision.
On Thursday, you invite them over to your place instead.
Jungkook’s excuse for missing it comes in the form of a short message.
“I’m sorry, I can’t. Have an early shoot in the morning. You guys have fun x”
You’re not going to lie – you thought that if you were the one inviting everyone, he’d make sure not to miss it. To say the disappointment settling in your chest was painful would be an understatement.
You try to reason with yourself. He is busy. He wouldn’t lie about that. Even the guys say so. Even Maya knows about it – she mentioned it once while the two of you were on the phone, something about Namjoon needing help picking up a new piece of furniture. Jungkook was usually the first person people called when something heavy needed moving.
Even then, he had to turn him down.
It’s Friday. You should’ve gone straight home, taken the warm bath your body desperately needs to help your muscles relax. But when Jimin’s message pops up in the group chat, asking if any of you are up for fried chicken and beer, you find yourself debating whether you should go or not.
Much to your surprise, Taehyung can’t make it this time either – and, of course, neither can Jungkook.
When Jimin opens the door, blond hair messy and dressed in an oversized shirt, he welcomes you inside. The smell of fried chicken instantly hits you and your mouth waters.
“Finally,” he says dramatically, stepping aside to let you in. “I was starting to think you’d ditch me too.”
You snort quietly, slipping off your shoes as he closes the door behind you. “Tell me something about it.” you mumble under your breath.
You’ve been to Jimin’s apartment more times than you can count. Even if Jungkook’s place is where you usually hang out, you’re no stranger to Jimin’s apartment either.
Jimin’s place doesn’t have that stereotypical bachelor mess you’d expect from a guy living alone. Instead, the place smells faintly of clean laundry and whatever softener he uses, mixed with the lingering scent of fried food. The only exception is the gaming room down the hallway, permanently dim with LED lights and blackout curtains.
The apartment feels comfortable as always, warm lighting filling the space while a game is paused on Jimin’s large television screen.
Jimin walks toward the kitchen island and grabs a can of beer from the fridge before tossing it your way. “Catch.”
You give him a frowned look, thankful your instincts still kick in even at seven in the evening. “Are you trying to kill me?”
“And have Jungkook banging on my door?”
Jimin says it playfully, clearly teasing you. You roll your eyes, cracking the beer open.
“He’d have to be available first,” you mumble under your breath.
Jimin ignores your comment, though a slight grin still pulls at his lips. Cracking open his own beer, he takes a couple long chugs from the can.
The evening settles easily after that. You sit cross-legged on his couch, stealing fries from the takeout bag while Jimin talks about work, complaining about exhausting schedules and people seemingly incapable of doing the simplest tasks properly.
Eventually, the topic shifts to your own job.
“I swear he enjoys stressing me out,”
“Who? Yoongi?” he asks, already grinning and expression bright in recognition. “I kinda miss that guy.”
You stare at him in disbelief. “You miss being insulted every ten minutes?”
“There’s something oddly refreshing about him,” Jimin argues with a shrug. “At least he’s honest.”
“He’s insufferable.”
“Which is exactly why it’s a shame you hate him,” Jimin teases. “He’d make a nice addition to the group.”
The thought alone makes you laugh, memories of Jungkook and Yoongi childishly arguing with each other during the camping trip instantly resurfacing. The memories of those moments still feel fresh, almost as if they happened just last week. Thinking about them brings a wave of nostalgia mixed with something heavier you can’t quite name.
There’s never been a trip without some kind of drama, but this time it feels different. It’s only a reminder of how much your deal with Jungkook changed things.
Back then, the biggest issues were Taehyung and Jimin flirting a little too much and ending up with angry women ready to throw their drinks at them. Compared to now, those problems almost seem laughable.
“He’s avoiding me, isn’t he?”
Jimin looks taken aback by the silent question. After the laugh dies down, he looks as if he’s understanding what, or rather whom, you’re hinting at. Jimin isn’t stupid. He has to see that Jungkook has missed too many opportunities to hang out.
“Kook?” Jimin laughs, reaching for the cold fries that will probably taste like gum any minute now.
Nodding, you finish the beer. “I mean, he’s clearly not interested in hanging out.”
The moment the words leave your mouth, you notice the way Jimin’s eyes drift away. He clears his throat, suddenly far too focused on taking another long chug of his beer.
You’ve known him for years. You know his body language. And this – this is Jimin trying very hard not to accidentally say something he shouldn’t.
“Spill it.”
Jimin tries to look as if he has no idea what you’re talking about.
“Jimin,” you repeat through clenched teeth.
He looks almost apologetic then, scratching the back of his slightly messy blond hair.
“We hung out with Jungkook two days ago.”
You nearly choke on your own spit.
This whole time, you genuinely thought he was avoiding everyone. A part of you held onto the hope that maybe he truly was just busy with work, that he simply didn’t have the time.
“You what?” You try to keep the offense at bay, but after the one beer that’s already enough to affect you, you fail miserably.
“Listen, it wasn’t intentional. You were working, and Taehyung and I were already at his place when Jungkook called him about something and ended up stopping by. I swear, we’d never intentionally not include you.”
Trying to process the revelation, you know there’s nothing to be mad about. Hurt, maybe–but that has nothing to do with Jimin or Taehyung. All this time, you’d been sitting here thinking Jungkook had only been keeping in contact with everyone through messages.
You know it was random. Jungkook happened to come over, and it naturally turned into the three of them hanging out. There’s nothing wrong with that. You don’t need updates about everyone’s whereabouts every second of the day.
You were never the type to get upset when the guys spent time together without you. It’s normal. You’re all adults with different schedules, jobs, and responsibilities.
But still, something about it stings.
Jungkook had no problem randomly showing up at Taehyung’s place. Somehow, he found the time for that. Yet the last time you saw him was after you landed back from Hawaii, and since then, your only contact has been a handful of short messages that barely count as conversations.
For a brief second, you think about reaching out. Just calling him and getting rid of this awful uncertainty sitting in your chest.
But clearly, he’s not interested.
And no matter how much you try to stay reasonable about it, emotions get the best of you. Because the truth is – whether you want to admit it or not – you’re hurt. And maybe a little angry too.
“I’m not mad, Jimin,” you assure him, noticing the guilty look practically written all over his face. “So, he’s only avoiding me, huh?”
“No–I don’t know, I don’t think he is.”
“Come on, Jimin.” You let out a dry, unbelieving laugh that makes it obvious you don’t buy a single word of it.
“Well–what exactly happened in Hawaii?”
You look slightly taken aback by the sudden question. It doesn’t sound invasive, though – more curious than anything else. Like Jimin is simply trying to piece the puzzle together on his own. Clearly, even he can sense the shift in your dynamic with Jungkook.
Your mouth opens, then closes again.
“Because before you guys went, everything felt normal.”
You know that. And you’re not ready to spill everything.
It’s not that you desperately want to hide it or keep it some shameful secret, but a part of you believes it’s simply too private. Too personal to be laid out and picked apart by multiple people. It’s not only your story to tell either – Jungkook is part of it too.
Talking about it out loud somehow makes everything feel far too real. Almost invasive.
If Maya hadn’t caught onto it herself, you probably wouldn’t have been nearly as honest with her either.
The person you actually need to talk to is Jungkook.
You genuinely thought the two of you ended things on a good note. You talked about it. Set boundaries. Tried to be mature about the entire situation.
But somehow, it’s only worse now.
And when you really think about it, the only thing truly happening is the lack of contact with Jungkook. That’s what’s making everything feel so unbearably wrong.
“He asked about you. You know?”
Your head snaps toward him instantly, heart briefly picking up at the revelation. For one stupid second, hope flickers inside you at the thought that maybe Jungkook still cares.
But then the irritation comes just as quickly, settling across your face in a frown. Are you supposed to feel touched by that?
“He’s got my number, just FYI.”
Jimin sighs, leaning back against the couch. “I don’t know what happened with you guys, though knowing you, I can imagine–”
You shoot him a nasty look.
“–but I know Jungkook never acts without a reason,” he finishes anyway. “I just don’t see some huge problem here. He does care.”
“Well, if he wants to ask about me,” you mutter bitterly, “he could do that by asking me. Not you guys.”
“Yeah, he should. I didn’t know you guys weren’t in touch at all. I guess we both were kind of surprised with Tae when he asked about you, but it wasn’t anything worth to be suspicious about. But now that you’re asking…”
You look away, unable to stop yourself from drifting into your thoughts. Jimin reaches out and gently squeezes your shoulder in comfort.
“He really does have a lot of work,” he says quietly. “His schedule’s completely packed. He hung out with us for less than an hour, if that helps at all.”
It doesn't exactly make you feel better. You would’ve been happier hearing that they actually got proper time together. But hearing Jimin confirm that Jungkook wasn’t lying about work does ease your mind a little.
Not that you truly believed he would purposely lie to you. Still, it felt strange. Jungkook always made time somehow – even if it was just for less than an hour, like he did with them.
“Just talk to him, yeah? He really seemed sorry about ditching us lately.”
You nod quietly, exhaustion slowly settling into your body alongside the alcohol buzzing lightly in your system. Jimin notices it immediately and doesn’t even bother asking whether you’re planning to drive home.
“Take the bed,” he says casually while collecting the empty cans from the coffee table. “You’re the only woman in the group. We have standards.”
You snort tiredly. “Your standards are fried chicken and cheap beer.”
“Exactly,” he replies proudly. “Premium treatment.”
The small exchange earns a genuine laugh out of you, easing some of the heaviness sitting in your chest. Still, later that night, once you’re alone in Jimin’s bedroom after taking a shower, the thoughts return all over again.
His room smells faintly like clean laundry and the cologne he always wears. Dressed in one of Jimin’s oversized shirts and a pair of soft cotton shorts to sleep in, you sit against the headboard for a while, absentmindedly staring at your phone resting beside you on the bed.
Maybe you really do have to talk to Jungkook alone.
Even if he’s genuinely busy. Even if he truly feels bad about missing out lately. Something still feels off. Because before all of this, he would’ve texted you daily without fail – and you would’ve done the same.
It’s not like you can place all the blame on him either. You haven’t exactly been reaching out much yourself.
But back then, Jungkook would practically blow up your phone if you disappeared for too long, always wanting to know if you were okay, if you got home safely, if you ate properly.
And maybe it’s selfish to miss that. Maybe it’s unfair to expect him to still act that way just because he always used to. Why should he be the only one making the effort?
Either way, there’s something hanging in the air.
Which is why you find yourself on the way to Jungkook’s place the next day. You went home only to change clothes and make yourself look presentable, as if your worries haven’t revolved around him this entire time.
You opted for high-waisted black pants and a casual white shirt, a mini bag hanging from one shoulder while the other hand carries a paper bag with flavored milk waiting inside for him. It’s a thoughtful gesture, perhaps even a more thought-out attempt to mend things between you.
Jungkook’s building has always been more secure, but recently they updated the system. Now, you need a code to get inside unless someone lets you in from upstairs. Jungkook mentioned it briefly during one of the dinners in Hawaii, complaining about how annoying it was whenever he forgot the code after late schedules.
Thankfully, before you can even think about calling him, someone exits the building. One of Jungkook’s neighbors – a man in his forties whose name you’ve never learned despite seeing him around countless times – holds the door open for you on his way out. A gym bag hangs from his shoulder, clearly on his way to work out.
The two of you exchange quick greetings before you step inside the familiar building, already knowing the way by heart.
On the way upstairs, standing inside the elevator, nervousness slowly starts creeping into your chest and you don’t even fully understand why.
You just hope he’s still home.
Jungkook sent a picture into the group chat this morning – his computer screen filled with editing software and dozens of photos scattered across it. So you hope he’s still dedicating his time to that, because this entire thing would feel like a complete failure if he wasn’t home.
The image of yourself sitting outside his apartment door like some abandoned puppy immediately makes you cringe. Especially at the thought of him coming home late and finding you there.
Stepping out of the elevator, you’re met with the familiar clean scent lingering through the hallway, one you’ve grown used to after coming here so many times.
Stopping in front of Jungkook’s door, you embarrassingly find yourself trying to listen for any kind of noise behind it, something that would confirm he’s actually home. But all you’re met with is silence.
Before anyone can catch you awkwardly peeping by his door, you quickly press the bell, hearing its faint sound through the thick, secure walls.
For a while, which is surely just a few seconds but feels like hours, you hear nothing. For a while – surely only a few seconds, though it feels much longer – you hear nothing. Knowing how well Jungkook’s heavy door isolates sound, you bite the inside of your cheek and wait patiently.
Then the door lets out a soft beep before unlocking, and you’re completely unprepared when it swings open and reveals him.
He’s dressed in all black – an oversized t-shirt paired with shorts, unsurprising considering Jungkook always runs warm. His hair is freshly cut too, shorter than you remember.
But none of that is what truly catches your attention.
Your focus settles on his dark eyes that slightly widen the moment they land on you standing in front of his door. His lips part just a little as he grips the handle, simply staring at you for a second too long.
Well, that’s not exactly the reaction you were hoping for.
So you end up being the first one to speak.
“Hi.”
His gaze slowly drifts over your appearance as if he’s still trying to process the fact that you’re actually standing there.
“Hi,” he finally says back.
“Sorry for showing up unannounced. I wasn’t sure if you were still home.”
For a brief moment, he looks confused by how you’d know that, but realization quickly settles across his face. The picture in the group chat. Of course you saw it.
He knew you read the message.
He just clearly wasn’t expecting you to show up at his door.
And for a split second, you feel oddly satisfied by how caught off guard he looks. Because this way, he can’t really avoid you anymore.
Unless he decides to close the door in your face.
“Are you still working? Can I come in?”
He clears his throat before opening the door wider. “Yeah, come in.”
You brush past him, instantly greeted by the familiar comfort of his home mixed with the scent of freshly made coffee. But even stronger than that is his cologne. Despite not smelling it for the past two weeks or so, it immediately brings a strange sense of comfort and familiarity.
Slipping the bag off your shoulder, you place it onto the small seat by the shoe rack. Still holding the paper bag in your hand, you realize you never let go of it.
“Oh, I brought you something.”
Turning around, you find Jungkook quietly watching you, his attention fully on you without saying a word. His eyes drop to the paper bag as you hand it over.
He pulls out the bottle of flavored milk, instantly recognizing his favorite flavor before placing it back inside.
“Thanks,” he says softly. “Will come in handy.”
You bite your lower lip, and Jungkook’s eyes instantly drop to the movement. He stays awfully silent, and you can’t tell whether he’s still shocked by your sudden appearance or simply not too pleased about it.
“I’m sorry if I barged in here unannounced. If it’s not a good time, I could–”
“No, it’s fine. Come in.”
He motions with his head, and you quietly follow him deeper into the apartment.
His place is clean as always, and aside from the two cups of coffee sitting on the coffee table, nothing seems out of the ordinary. Soft music drifts from one of the rooms – the one that used to be your room while you moved in temporarily. But as you step closer, you notice another presence.
It takes you a second to recognize the familiar face you haven’t seen since the camping trip. That trip really seems determined to keep haunting you lately, as if the universe desperately wants you to remember every single part of it.
Ester stands there with her hair dyed a soft reddish color, holding Jungkook’s prized possession – his camera.
“Oh, hi, Y/N! It’s so nice to see you again!” she greets cheerfully, genuinely looking happy to see you.
Jungkook stands close enough beside you for you to feel his presence, but you purposely avoid looking at him, not wanting him to see the complete shock written across your face. Ester is probably the last person you expected to see here. Honestly, the thought of finding anyone in his apartment never even crossed your mind.
Suddenly, showing up here unannounced feels incredibly stupid.
“Hey, Ester. Nice to see you too.” You force a small smile. “Are you guys working on something?”
The moment the question leaves your mouth, you mentally curse at yourself. It sounds oddly pointed, almost as if you’re trying too hard to casually confirm what exactly she’s doing here.
“I reached out to Jungkook. I got this job and thought I could use some help from a real professional here.”
“Professional, huh?”
It’s the first time Jungkook grins since opening the door for you. The smile is faint, touched with quiet amusement, and Ester laughs before confidently nodding at her own statement.
You watch the interaction unfold and suddenly feel strangely out of place standing there. Especially when Ester looks effortlessly pretty in her short summer dress, completely comfortable in Jungkook’s apartment while you stand there feeling like an unexpected interruption.
“Well, if I knew you had someone over, I wouldn’t have come,” you say, already stepping slightly back. “I’ll let you guys work.”
Ester immediately shakes her head, dismissing the idea with an easy smile. Glancing down at the watch around her wrist, she looks back at you kindly.
“I was actually about to head home anyway,” she says. “We already went over everything I needed.”
She thanks Jungkook for helping her, and he smiles softly in return.
“Keep in touch,” he tells her while walking her toward the hallway. “You have my number in case you need help with anything, but I’m sure you’ll do great.”
You almost want to let out a bitter laugh at the mention of his number.
Because if you hadn’t shown up here today, he probably wouldn’t have reached out at all. And honestly, who knows how much longer the two of you would’ve kept tiptoeing around each other like this.
Actually, no.
To tiptoe around each other, there would first need to be some contact between you at all.
She bids both of you goodbye, and Jungkook walks her to the door. From where you stand, you only catch the faint sound of their goodbyes, mixed with quiet wishes of good luck and gratitude for his help.
The door clicks shut behind them.
Slowly, you make your way toward the living room, eyes landing on the untouched cup of coffee still sitting on the table. It looks like Ester barely even took a sip from it, and the realization makes you close your eyes briefly in annoyance at yourself.
“She wasn’t supposed to leave this early, was she?”
Jungkook notices the untouched coffee too, faint steam still rising from the cups as he answers.
“No.”
“Oh, fuck. I’m such an idiot.” You groan, throwing your head back in embarrassment.
“You’re not,” he says calmly. “Ester’s just too polite to say no to anything.”
You almost ask whether Ester was really here only for work, but the thought dies quickly in your head. Because it wouldn’t sound like harmless curiosity from a friend teasing him about having a woman over.
It would sound more like an ex still hung up on him and seconds away from causing a jealous scene.
So instead, you simply sigh. “Yeah… she’s a nice girl.”
Jungkook doesn’t comment on that. He stays quiet, only asking if you want something to drink.
Not even a drink feels capable of washing away your embarrassment right now, so you shake your head.
Silence settles between you after that.
And slowly, you start getting the feeling that Jungkook is purposely choosing not to say anything first, almost as if he’s waiting for you to explain why you suddenly showed up here.
Somehow, that irritates you a little. Because he’s not even questioning your presence.
He just watches you quietly, eyes lingering on you as if he’s studying you. Or maybe he simply doesn’t care enough to ask.
You hate that you can’t tell what he’s thinking anymore.
“Heard you and the guys hung out,” is all you say. It’s not meant to sound accusing, and your voice stays soft. “I know it wasn’t exactly planned.”
“Yeah, that’s true,” he confirms quietly.
Silence stretches between you again afterward. Your eyes drift around the apartment until they land on the framed family pictures standing on the shelf. In one of them, you’re there too alongside Taehyung and Jimin.
The picture was taken years ago.
You look so young in it. Every time you see that photo, you remember how Taehyung and Jimin used to joke that you were like their little sister. They always took special care of you, all of them did in their own ways.
“Are you avoiding me, Kook?”
The question leaves your mouth before you can overthink it any further. Straight to the point.
Jungkook stares at you quietly. He doesn’t look surprised by the question. His eyes briefly drift away as he opens his mouth, clearly about to say something, but just like with Jimin – you know him too well.
“Oh my god,” you breathe out, realization instantly crashing into you. “You actually are.”
It comes out sounding more accusing than you intended.
But Jungkook doesn’t deny it either. He only sighs softly before closing his eyes for a moment, as if exhausted by this entire situation already.
“Why?”
You wish you didn’t sound this weak, but at least you’re being honest with him.
“I wasn’t lying,” Jungkook says quietly. “I really was busy.”
“You know I’m not stupid,” you tell him. “I know when something’s going on. And I know I wasn’t exactly reaching out either, but I just… I wanna know why.”
Jungkook pinches the bridge of his nose before quietly telling you; “I was giving you some space.”
“Space?” you repeat, disbelief immediately settling into your voice. “That’s what you thought I needed?”
He only stares at you.
“I’ve missed you.”
The confession leaves your mouth before pride can stop it.
Jungkook’s features soften almost instantly, and he lets out a quiet sigh.
“Maybe I was the one who needed space.”
The words hit you so unexpectedly it almost feels like being slapped across the face. You stare at him, unable to believe he actually said that out loud.
“Why?” Your voice cracks around the question.
Jungkook takes a small step closer then, finally holding your gaze properly. The eye contact feels almost too intense after weeks of distance. He gently shakes his head, already regretting the wording.
“That came out wrong,” he says softly. “The trip was overwhelming for both of us, and I thought maybe we just needed some time to relax.”
“Relax?” you nearly whine, frustration and hurt mixing together embarrassingly fast. “You suddenly cut me off, Jungkook. You’ve never done that before.”
The second the words leave your mouth, you realize how childish you probably sound.
But at the same time, something inside your chest painfully cracks at the realization that this is actually happening.
“I really did have a lot of work to catch up on,” he says. “I’ve taken too much onto my shoulders lately.”
“Kook, that’s an excuse and you know it.”
Your voice softens despite the frustration bubbling underneath it.
“No matter how busy you’ve always been, you still texted me at least. And I know I can’t expect you to always be the one reaching out first–that’s on me too, because I should’ve reached out sooner.”
You shake your head lightly, trying to gather your thoughts.
“It’s not like it’s been months or anything. But… I just know–”
Before you can even finish the sentence, your eyes betray you. Tears suddenly well up, and all it takes is one look into Jungkook’s dark eyes quietly watching you for everything to feel far too overwhelming.
Both of you know what this is really about.
It doesn’t matter that it’s only been around two weeks of barely any direct contact. The two of you have never been like this before.
“God,” you mutter under your breath with a shaky sniffle, trying not to cry.
The second Jungkook notices it, he steps closer.
“You said I wouldn’t lose you.”
“You’re not losing me,” he assures softly. His fingers carefully tuck a strand of hair behind your ear, and the simple touch almost hurts with how much you missed it.
“Then why does it feel like I am?”
Jungkook doesn’t answer right away. Instead, he pulls you into his arms, wrapping them tightly around you. Instantly, you bury your face into his t-shirt, relaxing into his warmth like your body remembers him before your mind can even process it.
You really don’t want to let go.
“I’m sorry,” he murmurs honestly, pressing a soft kiss to the top of your head. Resting his cheek against your hair, he gently sways the two of you side to side in a comforting motion. “I never wanted you to feel like this. I thought I was doing us a favor.”
“Well, you weren’t,” you mumble against his chest, earning a quiet chuckle from him.
“Yeah,” he sighs softly. “That’s on me.”
“Kook.”
“Hm?”
“Promise me you won’t do that again.”
You pull away just enough to look at him properly. He looks unfairly perfect. Smooth skin freshly shaved, dark eyes softened by concern, and even the tiny scar beneath his left cheek somehow brings you comfort through its familiarity.
You’ve seen that scar from much closer distances than any best friend ever should have.
“I promise.”
And for now, it feels like a soft balm over your scattered chest.
The next time you see each other is at one of the bars you’ve visited a couple of times with your friends. It’s the usual spot the guys choose alongside Maya. Tonight, though, it’s different. It’s the night of both Namjoon’s and Maya’s bachelor and bachelorette parties.
It’s refreshing that they decided to meet with everyone first before it’s time for the ladies and gentlemen to go their separate ways. One of Namjoon’s only requests was no strippers or anything too crazy like a typical bachelor party. The guys agreed, but since Taehyung is attending, you have a feeling something crazy is bound to happen anyway. He’d never let a night like this stay completely tame.
When the no-strippers rule first came up, Taehyung looked genuinely disappointed. His argument was simple: it’s not every day one of your friends gets married. Even so, no one is willing to tell you what they actually have planned for Namjoon.
Since Namjoon isn’t interested in any of the stereotypical bachelor party traditions, Maya decided, out of respect for not only her soon–to–be husband but also their marriage, that she doesn’t want any strippers either.
As the wedding draws closer, it’s sweet to see the two of them so in love, practically glued to each other even now as everyone gathers in the large reserved booth. Maya has invited some of her cousins and friends from back home, making the group even bigger than usual.
“Oh, come on. Not even a hint?” you whine, tonight’s plans becoming the main topic of conversation around the table.
Jungkook sits across the table, a small amused smile resting on his lips as he watches your latest attempt to squeeze any information out of them. Not even he gives away the secret.
It’s not like you’re the one who keeps bringing it up. They’re the ones talking about it, so why won’t they just say what they have planned? You’d happily tell them what you had planned, but Maya insisted on keeping it a secret just for the fun of it.
Poor Namjoon remains completely clueless. Since the guys planned everything, he’s probably the most innocent person sitting at the table.
“Where’s the fun in that?” Taehyung muses, not bothering to hide the smirk behind his whiskey glass before taking a slow sip.
All of the guys are dressed to the nines, turning heads the moment they walked into the bar. It doesn’t go unnoticed by Maya’s cousins either, whose attention perks up every time Jimin, Taehyung, or Jungkook say anything. You’d think you would’ve gotten used to it by now, and most of the time you simply ignore it, but it’s always the same whenever the group goes out.
To their credit, Maya’s cousins respectfully keep their attention away from Seokjin. The wedding band resting on his ring finger is more than enough to make it clear he’s off-limits.
“You men are evil,” Maya comments with a huff, nuzzling into Namjoon’s chest. He presses a soft kiss to the top of her head, hiding his smile in her hair.
Taehyung checks the watch around his wrist, the time for everyone to go their separate ways quickly approaching. “Don’t worry, we’ll bring your soon–to–be husband back in one piece.”
“Those words sound awfully strange coming out of your mouth,” you tease. He scoffs at you, though the faint smirk tugging at the corner of his lips gives him away.
“You’re just jealous. I know you’d kill to be on our team tonight.”
Truthfully, you don’t mind it at all. Maya’s cousins seem genuinely nice, even if they mostly keep to themselves, chatting among each other as family tends to do. They have, however, spent a good portion of the evening shamelessly admiring your friends as if they’d been presented on silver platters.
You can’t really blame them. Seeing women sneak glances at your friends has become a normal part of going out together.
“Keep talking and the only thing I’m gonna kill is you.” You purse your lips at Taehyung, whose eyes instantly light up with excitement. He lives for this kind of back-and-forth, and you know he’s enjoying this side of you just as much as you enjoy giving it to him.
From the corner of your eye, you notice Aisha and Ada – Maya’s cousins – exchange a quick glance, clearly not expecting this kind of dynamic between the two of you.
Oh, they have no idea.
“Come get me.”
Namjoon lets out a laugh at the two of you, quickly followed by everyone else around the table. You huff dramatically, crossing your arms over your chest before leaning back in your seat with exaggerated annoyance.
“We’re going to have the time of our lives,” Maya says with a smug smile, holding up a finger decorated with the white bridal sash draped across her shoulder that proudly reads Bride. You all surprised her with it the moment she and Namjoon walked into the bar hand in hand, looking as in love as ever. “You boys are going to wish you were there with us.”
Suddenly, Maya reaches for a paper bag you somehow hadn't noticed before. You did see Aisha carrying it earlier, but you never really gave it a second thought. Now, watching Maya pull it onto the table with a mischievous smile, you have a feeling you probably should have.
“Since all of my girls here are single, I don’t want to ruin your fun just because I’m about to get married,” Maya says with a grin. “I’m going to be a happily married woman soon, but I hope we’ll still have nights like this–just us girls, celebrating for no reason at all.”
You already don’t like where this is going. Especially after hearing the word single.
Maya reaches into the paper bag and pulls out a silver tiara. Across the front, in glittering letters, is one simple word: Single.
You almost let out a whine.
Then you watch in disbelief as she pulls out another. And another. One for each of you.
Her cousins happily accept theirs, immediately placing them on their heads before flashing them toward the guys with playful smiles, almost as if expecting them to take the hint. They giggle amongst themselves, whispering something to each other.
Meanwhile, you simply stare at Maya's outstretched hand holding your tiara, your smile becoming increasingly crooked.
She notices the look of pure disgust on your face, nudging the tiara closer.
You sigh dramatically before reluctantly taking it from her, earning a triumphant smile as she settles back into Namjoon's embrace. His arm instinctively wraps around her waist.
Taehyung lets out a quiet cackle the second he sees the tiara in your hands. You eye the thing as if it might bite you.
Jimin, on the other hand, looks more skeptical. You catch him subtly glancing toward Jungkook before quickly looking away again.
You don't think much of it. The guys have still been walking on eggshells around the two of you ever since Hawaii.
The truth is, you simply hate being labeled single like it's an open invitation for every man in the room to come try his luck. Going out already means dealing with enough unwanted attention, and you don't mean that in an arrogant way. Drunk men can be relentless.
One of the unexpected perks of always hanging out with the guys is that most people assume you're dating one of them–or they're simply too intimidated to approach. The guys have always been protective of you. They know exactly how some men can be.
And with them around, you've never once questioned whether you were safe.
“Come on, put it on.” Maya nudges you, something mischievous dancing behind her eyes.
Letting out a long, defeated sigh, you place the tiara on top of your head.
The moment you do, you catch Jungkook's gaze across the table. He isn't looking at you. His eyes are fixed on the silver tiara resting on your head.
He knows exactly what you're thinking. He knows you. He knows you've never been a fan of strangers approaching you with only one intention in mind – to get their hands on you.
“Are you playing matchmaker tonight, Maya?” Taehyung muses, clearly finding the whole thing amusing. Out of everyone at the table, he’s probably the last person to look for anything long-term, which is exactly why he finds it so funny.
“Maybe,” Maya says with a mischievous smile. “You never know. The love of your life could be sitting in a bar somewhere right now. Who knows? Maybe the next wedding we’ll be planning is one of yours.”
Taehyung lets out an exaggerated sound of disgust. “Don't put that curse on me.” He clutches his chest dramatically.
You, Jungkook, and Jimin burst into laughter. Mostly because, out of everyone at the table, Taehyung is probably the only person you can genuinely picture still breaking hearts well into his eighties.
Soon enough, it's time to say your goodbyes. Everyone finishes their drinks, and the last sip leaves a familiar burn at the back of your throat as the alcohol settles warmly in your stomach.
You're not planning on getting wasted, though. If anything, you have a feeling you'll end up being the responsible one of the group. Maya has made it very clear she intends to make the most of this night as an unmarried woman, and judging by the excited looks on her cousins' faces, they don't seem interested in holding themselves back either.
You don't want them to.
That's the whole point of tonight–to party, drink. You'll definitely join in, just... carefully.
You know yourself a little too well. Sometimes, once you start drinking, it's surprisingly hard to stop. And that usually ends with you throwing up everything you've consumed in the past twenty-four hours – sometimes it even feels like you're bringing back Christmas dinner for good measure.
As Maya and Namjoon share a long goodbye kiss, you swear they're seconds away from forgetting the rest of you are even there. For the first time, you catch a glimpse of something almost hungry in the way Namjoon looks at her. He's always adored Maya, but he's usually much more restrained about showing it in public.
Your eyes widen in disbelief, and you quickly look away, feeling oddly like you're intruding on a private moment.
When your gaze lands elsewhere, you find Jungkook already watching you. A knowing smirk tugs at the corner of his lips, clearly amused by the horrified expression on your face.
Especially considering you and Jungkook used to be far worse whenever you were alone and out of your friends' sight. And the two of you weren't even the ones getting married.
So why do your cheeks suddenly warm beneath Jungkook's gaze?
Jungkook traded his usual oversized clothes for tailored black trousers and a black satin shirt, the top buttons left carelessly undone. The glossy fabric catches the dim lights of the bar, making him look effortlessly expensive.
Before you can say anything, he steps closer. His eyes immediately find the silver tiara perched on your head, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. Without a word, he reaches up and straightens it where it sits slightly crooked, his fingertips careful not to disturb your hair.
As his hand falls away, his eyes naturally drift down to your lips, painted with a soft brown lipstick that somehow complements the silky blush pink dress hugging your figure. The satin fabric catches the light with every small movement, the delicate straps leaving your shoulders bare while the fitted silhouette flows effortlessly down your body.
“Be safe, okay?” he hums.
“You know I’m used to having my personal security team around,” you joke.
Jungkook huffs out a quiet laugh. “Well, I’m one call away.”
“I’m not gonna call you, Kook. You guys have a good time, okay?” you smile, ready to walk away for your own sake.
Before you can, Jungkook instinctively reaches for your hand. His fingers slip between yours for just a second, giving them a reassuring squeeze.
“If anything happens,” he says, his voice leaving no room for argument, “you call me. You hear me?”
He's serious, searching your eyes for genuine agreement before the two of you go your separate ways.
You give him a small nod.
It isn't enough.
His brows knit together ever so slightly, waiting.
“I will,” you assure him with a soft sigh. “Now go have fun. You're off-duty tonight.”
You try to lighten the mood with the joke, but it doesn't quite land. Jungkook still doesn't look entirely convinced. It's not that he thinks you need a babysitter. He simply can't seem to shake the instinct to look out for you.
“Hey, lovebirds,” Taehyung calls out, not bothering to hide the grin on his face. “Not to interrupt whatever friendly thing you've got going on here, but even Maya and Joon managed to pull themselves away from each other. We're heading out.” He jerks his head toward the exit. “Go find yourself your future husband.”
“Tae, I swear–” you warn, fixing him with a glare.
Taehyung cackles, immediately throwing both hands up in surrender. He knows exactly how to get under your skin, and he never misses the opportunity.
Jungkook lets out a quiet laugh before Taehyung and Jimin begin pulling him away toward the exit. Still walking backward, he points at you one last time.
“Remember,” he calls, “one call away?”
You laugh, shaking your head. “Okay, security–” Looking past him, you raise your voice toward Jimin and Taehyung. “Would you take this man outside? He's getting obsessive.”
The three of them burst into laughter. Jungkook only shakes his head, allowing himself to be dragged farther away.
Just before he disappears through the door, you quietly mouth, “One call away.”
He can't hear you.
But he reads it on your lips.
The slight furrow between his brows finally eases, and a satisfied smile appears on his face. He gives you a small salute before disappearing from view.
You can't help but laugh to yourself until the guys are completely out of sight.
“Not a word.”
Turning around, you find Maya standing there with her arms crossed and a knowing smile stretched across her face. You immediately point a warning finger at her, trying to hide the grin threatening to take over your own lips.
Maya lifts both hands in surrender.
“Fine,” she says innocently. “Let's get this night started, girls.”
Excited squeals erupt around you as everyone grabs their bags, following Maya toward the exit.
Maya stays true to her words and doesn't spoil anything about where you're headed. As eager as you are, you know the more you ask, the more she'd enjoy watching you squirm in anticipation. From the looks of it, the girls seem to be just the same. Maya actually has a lot in common with the boys, almost making it feel as if she's filling their place in their absence.
The difference now is that you're actually the one squirming the least for answers, watching the smug smile on Maya's face as she sits comfortably in the rented limousine she'd somehow managed to book. She's always been a party girl, and you have a feeling tonight is going to be anything but a quiet tea party. The girls keep throwing guesses her way, but Maya remains resistant to all their whining, laughing the entire time as she clearly enjoys the push and pull.
As you watch the streets drift by through the tinted window, you catch your reflection and the soft brown lipstick painted across your lips. Jungkook invades your mind, and the memory of his dark eyes dropping to them brings you back to the moment that happened not that long ago. His insistence on making sure you'd be safe and call him if anything happened makes your heart warm, just like it always has whenever he shows you that kind of attention and care. But tonight, it also skips with excitement. Even though you're excited for what's about to come and ready to enjoy the night, your secret wish is that he were here.
"...Any guesses?"
The sound of your name pulls your attention away from the busy streets outside. Looking up, you find everyone staring at you, Maya tilting her head as if wondering what has you so quiet.
Maya's a friend, and you've been very honest with her. You've probably told her more than you ever did the boys, which makes sense because she's not as involved in the little inner circle the four of you have. Plus, her perspective as another woman has become some sort of peace of mind. Even though she can sometimes be a little too honest – perhaps even invasive when it comes to voicing her blunt opinions, which you've grown used to dodging or arguing against – she's kind, bold, and wild. Hence the reason she doesn't understand your fear of screwing up the biggest and most important friendship you have.
You're not going to lie, sometimes you listen to her like she's the tiny devil sitting on your shoulder, encouraging you to stop overthinking and simply enjoy the moment. Maybe her influence played a small part in you getting carried away.
"Nah, you wouldn't tell us either way," you laugh, making Maya's smile widen as she shrugs. "We'll find out soon enough."
"Now that's the vibe!" Maya laughs. "Don't get me wrong, watching you all beg for answers has been pretty entertaining."
"So, Maya..." Ada begins, making the rest of the girls sit up a little straighter in their seats. The soft pink ambient lights glow around the limousine while the panoramic roof reveals a sky already sprinkled with stars. "Who's the hot guy?"
“More like... which one?” Zara giggles. Her deep brown skin glows beneath the pink ambient lights, and the mischievous sparkle in her eyes makes it obvious she's just as invested in interrogating Maya as everyone else. “You're gonna have to be more specific.”
They're all eager, almost as if they made a silent deal to interrogate Maya the moment the right opportunity came. They all smile, some gently nudging each other while wiggling their eyebrows. You can't help but feel a little out of place, watching the girls naturally gang up on Maya as if they'd planned this interrogation long before getting into the limousine.
“Jungkook was his name, wasn't it?” Ada says, tapping a finger against her chin as her cousin, Aisha, gently nudges her foot with the tip of her heel.
“Don't act like you don't remember his name.”
A round of laughter erupts throughout the limousine as Ada shamelessly shrugs, almost as if to say “worth a shot”. A quiet laugh escapes you too, though the mention of Jungkook's name makes your crossed leg begin to bounce.
The limousine stops at a red light, almost as if giving Maya the perfect moment to answer while everyone eagerly waits for whatever reaction she'll give.
“And what about the Taehyung guy?” Imani asks, absentmindedly twirling one of her neat braids over her shoulder before deciding to give it a shot.
Maya laughs, her eyes briefly finding yours, just as amused by the effect your friends have on everyone. Even Jimin's name gets thrown into the mix, and you're a little taken aback by how quickly they've remembered all of their names. You still struggle to remember theirs. Then again, you're not interested in them that way, so maybe it makes sense.
“Shh–” Ada hushes the others, her eyes sparkling as she wiggles her brows. “Is he single?”
“Are all of them?” Zara practically pleads, rubbing her palms together, making you mentally snort. They have a good sense of humor, but beneath all the jokes, it's obvious they genuinely want to know.
“There's no way they all are.” Naomi scoffs, clearly refusing to believe it.
“Okay, let's do this one by one. Let's start with Jungkook.” Ada raises a hand, her long, perfectly curled lashes fluttering as she bats them at Maya.
Maya leans back with a sigh, though the smile never leaves her lips. “I think that's a question for Y/N.”
The moment the words leave Maya's mouth, silence settles over the limousine. Only her playlist quietly fills the background as the car begins moving again. Every pair of eyes lands on you, making you uncross your legs as you sit up straighter. You shoot her a quick look, silently wondering why the hell she'd put you on the spot.
You can practically see their minds racing as they jump to the conclusion that you and Jungkook are something more. Realization slowly spreads across their faces before they're suddenly looking anywhere but at you, almost embarrassed that they've spent the past few minutes openly thirsting over him without even considering the possibility that the two of you might be together.
It's ridiculous. That's what it is. The thought alone.
You can almost see them replaying every interaction from the bar, searching for anything that might've hinted at something between you and Jungkook. Maybe a stolen kiss while they weren't paying attention.
Little do they know, a quick kiss would've been the least of what had happened between you two.
Snorting softly, unable to hide the fact that you see right through them, you shrug.
“He's single.” The words leave your mouth, simple and truthful all at once.
“Y/N's his best friend, so she'd know. Actually, she's good friends with all of them.”
They stare at you as if you've suddenly grown a second head. Maya's words clearly don't register with them at first. They simply can't wrap their heads around how you're friends with them. Just... friends.
They try to hide it, but you catch the subtle sigh of relief that passes between them before a few giggles follow. At least now they know they haven't been openly thirsting over your boyfriend.
“Jimin's taken,” you explain. “And Taehyung... well, unless you're looking to get your heart broken, I wouldn't bother. Relationships aren't really his thing. He's more of a hook-up and call it a day kind of guy.”
“We're here!” Maya claps enthusiastically as the driver pulls into the parking lot. Loud bass echoes through the night, colorful lights illuminating the amusement park ahead.
“An amusement park?” you ask, your voice instantly brightening. “You should've told us before we had drinks.”
“It's just the start, baby.” Maya smirks, ushering all of you out as soon as the limousine comes to a stop near the entrance. The vehicle is too long to pull in any farther. The driver lets you know he'll stay nearby until you're ready to leave.
“We're not staying here?” you ask, assuming she'd just call the driver once it was time to head to the next stop.
“I told you, it's just the start,” Maya reminds you with an amused smile. “This is only a stop. We'll go on a few rides, then we're changing locations.”
“Now I understand why you didn't let us plan the party.” You shake your head with a smile as Maya hooks her arm through yours, happily leading everyone toward the amusement park. You do make one thing clear – you refuse to go on anything that turns you upside down and will happily guard everyone's bags instead.
You spend the next hour hopping from one ride to another, the employees kind enough to let you skip the line for almost every attraction. Even the people waiting don't seem to mind once they notice Maya's oversized BRIDE sash and all of your SINGLE tiaras.
You feel like a clown wearing yours at times. You almost forget it's sitting on your head until you catch a group of young men smirking and bowing dramatically in your direction from across the walkway. You roll your eyes while the girls burst into laughter, clearly loving every second of it.
Now you're left carrying everyone's bags, your hands growing heavier by the minute as you wonder if the girls packed actual bricks. While they're riding something far too extreme for your liking, you fish your phone out to kill some time. Ada volunteered to grab the two of you something to drink and is currently waiting at a nearby stand, chatting with one of the guys in line behind her.
As your screen lights up, the name Kook appears.
Embarrassingly, you unlock it a little too quickly.
Kook: Safe?
Instead of replying right away, you record a short video of the girls sitting at the top of the ride, waiting to be dropped. A second later, they plunge downward, their screams audible even over the pounding music.
You send it.
“video.mp4 I am.”
Locking your phone, you keep it in your hand while watching people laugh, scream, and stumble away from the ride with wobbly legs.
Barely a minute later, it vibrates again.
Kook: good choice on your part
Your fingers move before you can think.
“please, you would've been up there with them”
Kook: of course i would 😜
“what are you guys up to?”
Kook: nothing good tbh, went to an escape room
Kook: tae kept cheating, joon almost solved all the clues
“sounds like them”
Kook: who now
“actually both of them lol”
Kook: imagine.jpg
Opening it, you immediately spot Taehyung in the background, pouting dramatically with what looks like clue papers stuck to his forehead. Namjoon scratches his head in concentration while Jimin sits on a nearby chair looking completely baffled.
Then your eyes drift back to Jungkook.
He's grinning at the camera, the tip of his tongue caught between his teeth as he throws up a shaka with one hand.
You can't help but smile.
“suddenly i'm happy with our party”
Kook: rude
Kook: how was the ride? joon mentioned he rented a limousine for y'all
“unpleasantly interrogating”
For a moment, you wonder whether you should tell him the truth. You probably will eventually anyway. Somehow, though, you want to keep the conversation going a little longer.
Kook: how so
“the girls had their eyes set on all of you”
Kook: wow really
“don't act surprised jeon”
Kook: 😜
“Come on, here.” A voice nearby catches your attention, making you glance toward the ride. You see the rest of the girls making their way down the steps. Maya has an arm wrapped around Zara's frame, who looks like she's about to be sick.
Locking your phone and slipping it back into your purse, you hurry over to them as Zara breathes heavily. You open your mouth to ask if she's okay, but before a single word comes out, Zara suddenly turns away and throws up onto the grass.
You grimace as the faint smell reaches your nose.
Maya doesn't look much better as she gently pats Zara's back, clearly regretting being the one who insisted on this particular ride. Thankfully, Zara only throws up the drinks she'd had earlier.
The other girls immediately gather around her, asking if she's okay. Just then, Ada returns with the drinks, stopping in her tracks at the sight in front of her. After a brief hesitation, she quietly hands you yours.
“Thanks,” you mumble, not entirely sure you're up for lemonade anymore. Still, you take a few careful sips, hoping the citrus scent will overpower the smell lingering in the air.
“Are you okay?” Maya asks gently, pulling a packet of tissues from her purse and handing it to Zara.
“Hell yeah.” Zara grins after wiping her mouth. “What's our next stop?”
Without waiting for an answer, she steals the lemonade straight from Ada's hands to rinse her mouth.
You stifle a laugh as Ada's face immediately falls into a pout. Offering her your untouched lemonade instead, you watch her happily accept it.
“That's what I'm talking about!” Maya cheers, throwing one hand into the air before pulling out her phone to call the driver and let him know you're ready to head to the next stop.
As you're all seated again, you somehow find yourself in the middle of a conversation about relationships. Ada talks about the toxic relationship she got out of and how she's been single for about a year now. She sounds almost unhappy about it, and as you quietly listen to the conversation, they all seem dissatisfied with being single.
You have no idea where the obsession with women having to be in a relationship comes from. It's as if their whole world revolves around whether they're single or not. You know there's a lot of influence from society and probably social media too.
Zara gulps down an entire bottle of water before asking the driver for a piece of gum. She confides in all of you that she was cheated on, something that really messed her up. It happened recently and, because of it, she doesn't want a relationship right now, though she's not completely opposed to one if it happens naturally.
The rest of the girls are single too, once again confessing how happy they are for Maya and her upcoming marriage, hoping they'll reach that stage of their lives someday.
It's somehow what all of you dream of – to find that one person you get to spend the rest of your life with.
Even you.
And that's saying something, considering Taehyung likes to call you the number one hater of men.
“What about you, Y/N? Are you single?” Imani asks, probably noticing you haven't really participated in the conversation. Then again, neither has Maya, but everyone already knows where she stands.
“Mmm... yeah.”
Maya sips her champagne, raising a brow when you shoot her a glare before shaking it off and offering the girls a smile.
“I was in a relationship,” you shrug, “it wasn't meant to be.”
“What's up with your friend group? Everyone's single.” Aisha laughs, not mockingly, but almost in disbelief. “Y'all are hot, and from what I can tell, you seem like an amazing woman.”
Not entirely sure what earned you such a big compliment, you smile at Aisha in gratitude, letting out a quiet laugh as the others nod in agreement.
“Aish, it's not like there's no interest in Y/N,” Maya snorts, carefully setting her champagne glass down just as the limousine rolls over a speed bump. “She just has a very particular taste in men.”
She wiggles her brows at you.
You snort at that, finding it a little amusing. Maybe Maya's had one glass of champagne too many because the girls suddenly look even more curious.
“Okay, now I'm even more curious.” Imani props her elbow on her knee and rests her chin in her palm, looking completely invested in finding out your type.
“Tall, tattooed, hot, willing to do anything for her, fucking amazing in bed–”
“Maya, let her talk!” Aisha laughs.
Shooting Maya another glare, knowing exactly who she just described, you simply shrug before offering the girls a sweet smile.
“Maya pretty much summed it up.”
“I mean... who doesn't love tall, tattooed, hot men? I sure as fuck do,” Ada comments, earning a chorus of nods and agreement from the others.
The conversation quickly shifts as everyone starts sharing their ideal type of man. Unlocking your phone, you check the time, wondering how much longer the drive will be.
From the corner of your eye, you catch Maya watching you, hiding a laugh behind her hand.
You simply shake your head and laugh to yourself before looking away.
You should've seen it coming.
“Hope you didn't think we wouldn't properly party,” Maya says, leaning over your shoulder from behind as you stare at the club in front of you. The party already seems to be in full swing, all of you arriving at the perfect time.
The girls squeal excitedly, ready to add a little more alcohol to their systems as you all head inside. The club isn't nearly as packed as you expected. Maya tells you they limit the number of people they let in, which is why it never feels overly crowded.
Even so, as you make your way down the stairs, you still have to squeeze through plenty of bodies to reach the main bar. People stare and whistle at your group – some cheering for the bride to be, others eyeing her single friends, yourself included.
You scoff when you catch one guy openly checking out Aisha's ass. Turning around to shoot him a nasty look, you realize his eyes immediately drift to yours just as shamelessly.
If this is what the rest of the night is going to look like, you're ripping this tiara off right in front of them.
And maybe you need that alcohol too.
Fortunately, once you've finished your drinks in record time, you make your way to the dance floor. People naturally form a circle around Maya, encouraging her to dance in the middle while they cheer her on. You join in, genuinely happy for her and soaking in the moment.
The night is amazing. Your feet already hurt, but you can't stop dancing.
At some point, Maya tugs you into the circle, doing the same with her friends as you dance away the rest of the song. By the time the next one starts playing, you're all laughing, slightly out of breath. As the circle slowly breaks apart, you're about to look for somewhere to sit down.
The moment you look up, it takes you a second to spot Namjoon. Maya lets out a loud squeal of surprise before throwing herself into her soon–to–be husband's arms.
“What are you doing here?” you hear her ask, though Namjoon's answer is muffled as your eyes drift toward the familiar group standing behind him.
They stop on one particular pair.
Amusement flickers across Jungkook's face as he crosses his arms over his chest.
You laugh, making your way toward him while, somewhere behind you, the girls erupt into another round of giggles and excited squeals at the guys' sudden appearance. Their chatter instantly picks back up.
Meanwhile, you're still trying to catch your breath, the back of your neck sticky with sweat. Jungkook, on the other hand, looks neat–not a single hair out of place. Of course he does. He's not the one who's been dancing the night away. While one of you managed to throw up and the rest of you danced yourselves half to death, they spent the evening playing an escape room. You can only hope you don't smell like sweat.
“You've got to be kidding me,” you say in utter disbelief as Jungkook's smile slowly spreads.
“See? The tiara's still holding up,” he says with amusement, lightly flicking the tiara perched on your head.
“Don't tempt me.”
He laughs at that.
“How long have you guys been here?” you ask, catching the knowing smirk tugging at his lips.
“You mean, did we see you girls dancing?” he teases. “Yeah... long enough to catch most of it.”
“Oh, don't act so smug.” You nudge him lightly in the chest, but before you can pull away, he catches your wrist, his thumb absentmindedly brushing over your pulse.
“Any nice suitors?”
“If you don't count one guy staring at my ass the second we walked in here, then no.”
The sarcasm dripping from your voice makes Jungkook laugh.
You shoot him a glare, silently asking what exactly he finds so funny.
“Well, you do have a nice ass.”
Smiling up at him as if he'd just said the most romantic thing in the world, you muse, “You think so?”
He snorts in amusement, finally noticing the obvious glow in your eyes and the slight stumble in your stance that's not entirely caused by the heels you're wearing.
He knows that much.
“How much have you had to drink?”
You shrug, putting a little distance between the two of you.
“Apparently not enough.”
You've only had three drinks, but the third one was strong. Thanks to none other than Maya, who'd leaned across the bar to whisper something into the bartender's ear.
“You guys wanna grab a drink?”
Another presence appears beside you.
Not one, but two.
Aisha and Ada stop beside you, their eyes beaming at Jungkook as they practically look right through you.
“Oh, no.” Jungkook smiles politely. “I wouldn't want to intrude on your girls' night. We'll probably head to another club to celebrate.”
You find yourself a little annoyed by that. Just like the girls, who sigh in disappointment, clearly not ready to lose the chance to spend more time with him.
“Well...” You glance over your shoulder toward the dance floor. “Maya's already dancing with Namjoon. You might as well stay for a while.”
It comes out more like a suggestion than an invitation. One Jungkook would be rude to decline. Then again, knowing him, he'd somehow find the most respectful way to do it anyway. They'd be head over heels for him in no time.
Jungkook looks around, searching for the rest of the guys. He finds them not far away, already chatting with the rest of the girls from your group.
“Yeah,” he says. “I think I could stay for a while.”
They don't even try to hide their excitement as they quickly usher him toward the bar.
Looking behind you, you find the couple dancing slowly despite the fast, rhythmic music, simply holding onto each other.
You smile.
There's nothing else to do but follow everyone toward the bar and finally have that drink you so desperately claimed you needed.
For the next thirty minutes, you find yourself listening to the girls chatting with the boys. And no matter how hard Jungkook tries to pull you into the conversation, all that leaves your mouth are hums and short answers.
One minute you're approached by a guy who, at first glance, looks like he has his life together. That illusion disappears the second the smell of weed hits your nose and his drunken gaze spends more time staring at your cleavage than your eyes – which isn't even that impressive to begin with. Your dress is short, sure, but still perfectly decent.
As soon as he leaves, yet another guy you've turned down after asking you to dance, you rip the tiara off your head in annoyance.
Maya's too busy with Namjoon anyway, practically glued to him.
“Wow, what a coincidence, right?” she says after coming over for another glass of water. “Almost like it was meant to be.”
“None of them up to your unbelievable standards?” Jungkook leans toward you the one second the girls' attention isn't completely on him.
“If you think my standards are some junkie who can barely look me in the eyes instead of my tits, then you really think low of me.”
Jungkook snorts.
“Wow. Someone's snappy.”
“I'm not snappy!” you exclaim, leaning back in your seat as you stomp your foot beneath the table, making him raise a brow.
“What about your standards, hm? Do you see any girl you like?”
He simply stares at you with an amused grin, pursing his lips to one side.
“You mean any of Maya's friends?”
You shrug, mimicking the face he just made.
“For example.”
“Like them trying to get my attention?”
You chuckle.
“Of course you noticed.”
He smiles.
“Is that why you've been so snappy?”
You clench your jaw, shooting him a dirty look.
“I'm not snappy!” you hiss, nudging his leg beneath the table. Him sitting next to you is dangerous. So is the fact you have no idea which drink you're about to reach for next.
“Go have fun, Jungkook.”
“I am having fun.” He shrugs.
“Take one of them dancing. Trust me, they'd want nothing more than that. They couldn't stop gushing about you on the way to the amusement park and all the way here.”
“And what about you?” he asks, a teasing glint in his dark eyes as the arm resting along the back of the booth finds your hair. He absentmindedly twirls one of the strands around his finger.
Just like he still has you wrapped around his.
“Were you gushing about me?”
“Oh, please.” You scoff, placing your palm against his chest to nudge him once again. “Should I?”
He smiles.
“You could.”
“Go have fun, Jeon. I'm fine. I could just use some food.” You rub your stomach, feeling it filled with alcohol instead of anything solid. They do have crackers, chips – just something to snack on. But what you really crave is something greasy. Something filling. Something that could soak up at least a little of the alcohol.
“There's a kebab place around the corner,” he says. “Saw it on our way here.”
For a brief second, you eye him from the corner of your eye, suddenly interested in this kebab place.
Instead of giving in to the suggestion, you sigh.
“Go dance, Kook.”
“Well, I don't want to.” He leans back in the booth, looking annoyingly comfortable as you narrow your eyes at him.
He stares right back.
“I thought we made it pretty clear that you pushing me into things doesn't usually end well.”
Shit.
Well, you deserved that.
It's almost like Hawaii all over again. You don't take his words personally because they aren't meant to hurt, nor are they said that way. It's a gentle reminder delivered in the gentlest tone possible, even though there's a little sass behind it, just like Jungkook always manages.
“For your information,” you cross your arms, “it was a suggestion. Not a push.”
“Mhm, sure.” He hums, hiding his smile behind the rim of his beer.
A burst of laughter erupts somewhere at the table, both of you too caught up in your conversation to know what caused it.
“Wanna dance?”
She takes her chance, and thank God he doesn't think you had anything to do with this.
The two of you look at her, even though the question was clearly directed at Jungkook.
He glances back at you, and now you're the one hiding a smirk, shrugging.
You know he's too polite to decline.
“You're a great dancer, Kook. Show Aisha your moves,” you tease, catching the way he runs his tongue over his bottom lip before holding your gaze for a few seconds.
He chuckles, shaking his head before turning to the hopeful Aisha.
Bless her confidence, though.
“Sure,” he says.
You stand, giving them enough room to do the same. As Jungkook gets to his feet, he brushes past you, a little closer than necessary, and you catch the familiar scent of his cologne.
He waits for Aisha to slide out of the booth before the two of them disappear onto the dance floor.
Thank God you don't have to watch that.
Looking back toward the table, you find Taehyung already watching you, his lips pursed as he slowly gives you a thumbs-down.
Rolling your eyes, you silently tell him to fuck off.
“Y/N, my friend! Let's dance!” Taehyung calls out far louder than necessary, making sure everyone at the table hears him.
You catch Maya's friends watching in disappointment, and, strangely enough, you do feel a little bad for them.
“I don't want to dance.”
“Yes, you do,” he says, already on his feet as he grabs your wrist and pulls you out of the booth.
You start whining all the way to the dance floor.
One of Pitbull's songs starts blasting through the speakers, one you've danced and screamed the lyrics to together more times than you can count.
Before long, you're laughing, slowly getting into it despite complaining that your feet hurt.
“I'm hungry!” you whine, still wrapping your arms around Taehyung's neck as his hands settle on your hips.
He rolls his hips perfectly, the dance close but still respectful.
You're not sure Maya's friends see it that way, judging by the looks they exchange.
But who cares?
People already think you fucked Jungkook – which isn't exactly false. Only the tense is different.
What's one more misunderstanding?
You and Taehyung dance through the rest of the song, laughing and singing until it fades into the next track.
Just as the two of you decide you need a break, Jungkook walks past with Aisha close behind him, looking even more smitten than she did back at the table.
“Having fun?” he asks, a teasing smile tugging at his lips.
“She's hungry,” Taehyung chimes in, brushing past your shoulder and leaving you alone with Jungkook.
Aisha pauses for a second, but Taehyung says something to her that makes her smile before she follows him back toward the table.
“Come on,” Jungkook says. “Let's go eat.”
You let out a small laugh.
“What?”
“You're hungry.”
“I know. I can deal with it. Go have fun.”
“Y/N.” Jungkook frowns.
“Jungkook,” you reply in the exact same tone.
“I can take care of myself,” you remind him, chiming in.
He glances to either side before lifting both hands in a small shrug.
“I never said you couldn't,” he points out. “Now don't be difficult. Let's go.”
With that, he turns on his heel, leaving you standing there in disbelief for a few seconds before you hurry after him, just in time to hear him asking if anyone else wants food or feels like joining you.
The girls have already disappeared back onto the dance floor. Only Zara and Ada stay behind, deciding they'll just order something from the club instead. The guys aren't hungry, Jungkook informing you they'd grabbed something to eat before heading to the escape room.
The moment you step outside, the fresh night air hits your face, making you instinctively take a deep breath. You ask him how the escape room went, learning they all ended up in the same group and already agreed they'd have to come back someday and split into two teams instead, especially since the place offered a competitive mode. It wouldn't be Jungkook if he didn't enjoy a little competition.
In return, you tell him about the amusement park, briefly mentioning Zara throwing up after one of the rides and how the employees let all of you skip most of the lines thanks to Maya's BRIDE sash. Before long, you've already reached the kebab place tucked just around the corner. You order your food and barely wait a minute before taking your first bite.
It's always the first bite that's the best, a satisfied moan slipping from your lips. Deciding to eat outside, the two of you step back onto the sidewalk, both of you knowing eating a kebab can get messy. Jungkook doesn't mind the fresh air after spending most of the evening indoors. While you happily eat, leaning against the brick wall of the building, he slowly paces up and down the sidewalk, watching the street that's still alive despite the late hour.
Once you've had enough bites to satisfy your hunger, your eyes naturally drift toward him. He looks like he stepped straight out of a magazine. One look at you and anyone could tell you've been celebrating something – your hair is a little messy, your makeup no longer as fresh, your face hot from dancing. Jungkook, meanwhile, somehow still looks effortlessly put together.
“You have a nice ass too,” you comment, wiping the corner of your mouth. Jungkook comes to an abrupt stop, his eyes meeting yours before a laugh finally escapes him.
“Where is this coming from?”
You shrug before handing him the rest of your kebab. There's nothing left but meat anyway. It always ends up at the bottom, and you've always preferred the vegetables and all the dressing. Jungkook knows exactly what that means, taking a generous bite without hesitation. Even though he decided not to order one himself, you know this man could probably eat enough for an entire village.
“Just giving back a compliment.”
He watches you as he swallows, a chuckle escaping him. “Is that all it is?”
A cool breeze briefly ruffles his hair, the black satin shirt shifting with it and exposing just a little more of his chest. One hand still holds the kebab, veins standing out across the back of it.
“God.”
The word slips out before you can stop it, immediately pulling you out of your own thoughts as you're met with a pair of thoroughly amused eyes.
“I forgot you get horny when you're drunk.”
You gape at him in offense, frowning. “I'm not drunk,” you point out. “And I'm not horny.”
“Okay,” he hums. “It's just one of your stages.”
“Shut up,” you scold, trying to hide your laugh as he laughs too. See? You can joke about it. It's still a thin line, maybe a little too soon for jokes like that, but somehow it feels normal. Maybe because only the two of you know exactly why he said it.
Jungkook finishes the last bite of your kebab in no time before tilting his head toward the way you came. “Ready to head back?”
You nod, falling into step beside him as the conversation naturally picks back up. And you're happy because you finally get to talk to him. Just the two of you, talking about everything and nothing at all. Maybe, just maybe, you're a little disappointed by how short the walk back is.
a/n: happy birthday to that one reader, you know who you are! thank you for your continued support and love throughout this story ♡
a special thank you to every reader who has purchased early access or simply supported me through ko-fi. your support genuinely means more than you know. thanks to you, I'm still able to make room in my life for writing and continue doing something I love in my free time. every purchase and donation helps me keep that time for MH instead of having to take on a side job and I'm incredibly grateful for that.
Thank you for allowing me to keep creating and, most importantly, thank you for being here and reading.
If you’ve enjoyed this chapter, please consider buying me a coffee☕️: https://ko-fi.com/personasintro ♡
→ Pairing: Namjoon x reader (female)
→ AUs: non-idol, one-shot
-> Genres: brother's best friend, friends-to-lovers.
→ Warnings(s): pure smut, +21, NSFW, semi-clothed sex, grinding, underwear aside, overwhelming, overstimulation, first time anal, butt stuff, spitting, fast, hard, rough, and more.
→ Rating: mature/explicit (this is mature/explicit content, so you have been warned.)
→ Word count: 3.1K
tag: @djobts
chapter one.
Things have only gotten better between the two of you. You've become practically inseparable, spending every possible second with each other. You wake up together, text back and forth throughout the day, and usually fall asleep on the phone with one another. You've both become attached at the hip, not wanting to spend more than a few hours apart. It's a little ridiculous, but neither of you can complain.
You wake up early on Saturday morning, stretching out in your bed and feeling the delicious ache in your joints.
You take a deep breath, relishing in the feeling of your sore muscles. You roll over, reaching out for Namjoon. But the side of the bed is empty, the sheets next to you cold. You frown, sitting up in bed and looking around the room. The bathroom door is open and the lights are off, no sign of him being in there.
You get out of bed, shrugging on a shirt as you make your way out of the bedroom. You hear movement coming from the kitchen, the unmistakable sound of cabinets opening and closing.
You pad into the kitchen, leaning against the doorway as you watch Namjoon moving around the kitchen, clearly on a mission. He's wearing nothing but a pair of loose sweatpants, his bare back muscles flexing with his movements.
You watch him for a moment, admiring the view. Your eyes run down the expanse of his back, taking in the sight of his broad shoulders, his narrow waist, and the dimples in his lower back. He's sexy as hell, but there's also something undeniably domestic about the way he's moving around the kitchen, his hands working expertly.
He senses your presence after a minute, turning around to look at you. A lazy smile spreads across his face when he sees you, his eyes raking over your form. You watch as his gaze flicks down to the hem of your shirt, which barely covers your thighs. You can see the interest in his eyes as his eyes rake up your legs, lingering on the skin exposed by your bare legs.
“Morning, sweetheart,” he murmured.
You smile, pushing off the doorframe to walk over to him. “Hey,” you murmured, reaching up to loop your arms around his neck. “You’re up early.”
He smiles, placing his hands on your hips. His hands are warm through the thin fabric of your shirt. “So are you,” he murmured, pulling you closer. “I wasn’t expecting you to wake up this early.”
You hum, resting your forehead on his chest. You can feel his heart beating underneath your cheek. “Well, I woke up missing your big bear body next to me.” you murmured, your voice muffled against his chest.
He chuckles, his hands sliding down to cup your ass. He gives a light squeeze. “Sit, breakfast almost ready.” he murmured.
You pout, but you do as he says, pulling away from him to take a seat at the small kitchen table. You watch as he finishes up cooking, your eyes drinking in the sight of his bare chest. He moves around the kitchen with ease, seemingly unbothered by his state of undress. You can feel your mouth water at the sight of him, your eyes raking over his toned biceps and broad shoulders.
He finishes cooking a few minutes later, setting a plate of food in front of you. It’s a simple breakfast, bacon and eggs, but it looks delicious. He takes a seat across from you.
You dig in, savoring the taste. He watches you eat, a small smirk on his face. “Good?” he asked, taking a bite of his own food.
You nod, mouth full. “Mmm.” you hummed, giving him a thumbs up. He chuckles, reaching over to swipe at the corner of your lip.
“You’ve got a little...” he murmured, wiping off a drop of egg left on your chin. He brings his thumb up to his mouth, licking it clean. “Mm. Tasty.” he murmured.
You roll your eyes, trying to ignore the way his words send a rush of heat down your spine. “Shut up.” you grumbled. He just chuckled, a smug look on his face.
The two of you finish breakfast in relative silence. Occasionally, your feet will brush against his under the table, or your knees will knock together when you shift in your seat. You can feel the heat of his gaze on you the whole time, his eyes lingering on your legs, your thighs, the hem of your shirt. He’s practically devouring you with his eyes.
Once breakfast is finished, you stand up to put your dishes in the sink. But Namjoon stops you, grabbing your hand and pulling you back to him.
"Come here.'
You stumble forward, falling into his lap. You straddle him, your knees resting on either side of his hips. He’s still shirtless, his hands coming up to grip your hips. He's sitting tall in the chair, his legs spread, pulling you forward until you’re pressed snugly against him.
You can feel his hardness through his sweatpants, your bare thighs spread over his lap. He has you in a firm grip, his hands keeping you in place. Your hands come up to rest on his shoulders.
He’s looking at you, his eyes dark, his expression unreadable. His hands slide down to cup your ass, his fingers squeezing the soft flesh. You can feel heat flaring in your belly, your nerves prickling with anticipation. You can feel your wetness dampen your panties, the thin fabric of his sweatpants already wet with it. You shift in his lap, trying to get some friction. He lets out a low groan, his grip on your hips tightening.
His eyes flick down to your mouth, his tongue darting out to wet his lips.
"Could you move your underwear aside?" he murmured.
You nod, reaching between your legs to push your underwear to the side. Your hands shake a little, your fingers trembling with anticipation. He watches you, his eyes dark and fixed on your movements.
"Good girl." he murmured, his hands coming to grip your thighs. "Grind on me."
You lean forward to rest your hands on his chest, your nails digging into his skin. You lift your hips up slightly, using your grip on his shoulders as leverage. He holds you steady, his hands guiding your movements.
You lower your hips back down, grinding your clit against the outline of his cock through his sweatpants. You let out a soft moan at the sensation.
He lets out a low groan, his grip on your hips tightening. You can feel him twitch through his pants, his cock straining against the material of his sweatpants.
"God damn, sweetheart." he murmured, his voice low and rough. "Fuck."
You keep grinding against him, your hands digging into his shoulders. His hands slide up to grip your ass, his fingers digging into your flesh.
"You’re dripping." he murmured, his hands moving your hips in slow circles against his groin. "I can feel how wet you are through my pants."
You nod, unable to form a coherent response. You can feel the roughness of the fabric of his pants against your clit as you grind against him.
He lets out a low moan, his hands guiding your movements.
"You’re soaked." he murmured.
You moan, your clit throbbing with need. "I’m so wet." you murmured.
He lets out a low chuckle, "Oh, I know."
He takes one of your hands in his, bringing it down between you and holding it flat against his pants.
"Feel how hard you make me?" he murmured, his voice hoarse. "Feel how bad I want you?"
You nod, your hand still pressed against his cock. You could feel how hard he was, the heat of his cock seeping through his sweatpants. You moaned, your legs trembling.
"I can feel it." you murmured.
He moves his hand over yours, his fingers interlacing with yours. He puts pressure against his cock, pushing your hand down against it.
He lets out a low groan, his hands moving to the waistband of his sweatpants. He pushes them down far enough to free his cock, letting out a sigh of relief as he does.
You moaned, feeling the friction of his fingers against his pants. "Fuck." you murmured, "Pull down."
He lets out a low groan, his hands moving to the waistband of his sweatpants. He pushes them down far enough to free his cock, letting out a sigh of relief as he does.
You can feel his bare cock against your clit, hot and hard. You moan, your legs shaky, your body needy. You started to grind against him again.
He lets out a low groan, his hands coming up to grip your hips again. He guides your movements, helping you rock back and forth on top of him. His fingers are digging into your skin, his grip tight. "Feels so good." he murmured, his breath hitching as you grinded your clit against his cock. "So soft."
You moaned, your head falling forward to rest on his shoulder.
He lets out a low growl, his hands on your hips guiding you in slow circles. His hands slide up to your ass, squeezing your flesh as he moves you against him.
"Oh god." you moaned.
He lets out a rough exhale when you grind against him, his fingers digging into your flesh. His hands guide you to grind harder, your clit rubbing against his cock. He lets out a low, strangled moan, his head tilting back.
"Jesus Christ, sweetheart." he murmured. "Just like that."
His hands tightened on your ass, helping you grind against him. You keep going, your hands gripping his shoulders as you grind harder against him. His breath is coming out in pants now, his hands holding your hips tightly.
Suddenly, he lets out a low curse, his eyes squeezing shut. “Fuck- slow down, honey.” he murmured, his hands stilling your movements.
You stop, your hands still holding onto his shoulders, trying to catch your breath. He’s still hard underneath you, his chest rising and falling with each deep breath
"You’re driving me crazy." he murmured, his hands still holding your hips.
You can feel his heart pounding against your chest, his breathing still uneven. His eyes are dark, his pupils blown wide with lust. He’s looking at you like he wants to devour you whole.
After a moment, he starts to speak again, his voice still rough.
"Get up." he murmured, gesturing towards the kitchen counter.
You stand up on shaky legs, your knees nearly giving out. He watches you, his eyes dark as you make your way towards the counter. He stands up, following you, his sweatpants still hanging low on his hips.
He follows you over to the kitchen counter, reaching out to grip your hips when you get to the counter. He turns you around, bending you over the counter. You put your hands on the counter to steady yourself, your legs still shaky.
You can feel his breath on the back of your neck, his hands running down your sides to the hem of your shirt. He yanks your shirt up, his hands running up your bare back.
You shiver at his touch, your muscles tensing. You arch your back instinctively, pushing your ass out towards him.
He lets out a low groan, his hands running down to grip your ass. He squeezes the soft flesh, his fingers digging into your flesh.
"God, look at this." he murmured, his voice rough. "So perfect."
You moan, shifting under his grip. His hands are warm against your skin.He gives your ass a light smack, the sound echoing through the kitchen.
He gives it another smack, a little harder this time. The sound is louder, echoing off the walls.
"Such a good girl." he murmured, his hands spreading your ass.
You moan again, pushing your ass out towards him. He lets out a low growl, his hands spreading your cheeks apart. He leans forward, pressing himself against you. You can feel his cock against your ass, still hard and leaking.
You moan again, your eyes fluttering shut. His hands are still on your cheeks, spreading you open. His knees nudge your legs apart, opening you up even more.
You hear the sound of him spitting, and then suddenly feel his fingers against your ass, covered in his saliva.”
"Ready for me?" he murmured, his fingers circling your hole.
You nod, your breath quickening. He’s still holding you open, his fingers pressing against your hole.
He lets out a low groan, removing his fingers to spit on your hole. You’re practically writhing under him, your legs spreading further apart. He guides his cock to your opening, the tip pressed against your hole
"Oh god." you moaned, your hands reaching for the edge of the counter,
He takes a deep breath before pushing in, his hands still spread out on your cheeks. You moan loud, your hands gripping the edge of the counter. He’s stretching you out, his cock filling up your hole.
The angle is almost too much, your legs shaking already. He’s only half way in, and you already feel so full. He lets out a low groan, his hands squeezing your ass.
"Holy hell." he murmured.
He pushes in slower, his hands still spread out on your cheeks. He’s stretched you out so good, the ache delicious. You’re moaning loudly, the sound echoing off the walls.
He pulls out slowly, his fingers digging into your cheeks. Then he pushes back in, his hips slapping against yours. You can feel his pelvis grind against your ass, his balls pressed against your clit.
"Fucking hell." you moaned, your legs shaking. You’re struggling to keep yourself upright.
He lets out a low groan, his hands moving to grip your hips. He sets a slow pace, pulling out and pushing back in. He pulls you back onto his cock with each stroke, the smack of his pelvis against yours filling the room.
He picks up the pace, his hips snapping against your ass. You’re struggling to hold yourself up, your hands gripping the edge of the counter.
You’re practically a babbling mess underneath him, your words coming out in moans and gasps.
He’s pounding into you now, his hips slamming against you with each stroke. You can feel him hitting that spot inside you, the one that makes you see stars.
Your legs are shaking, your toes curling against the cold tile. He’s hitting that spot with every stroke, your legs shaking harder and harder.
He lets out a low groan, his hands gripping your hips tighter. “Come on, honey.” he murmured, his voice gruff. "Come for me."
You can feel it building up inside you, your legs shaking even more now. You’re so close, just on the verge of falling over the edge. “God, I’m so close-“ you moaned, your head falling forward onto the counter.
"Come on, sweetheart. Come for me." he murmured, his voice rougher now, his hips still slamming into you.
And then you’re coming. You scream, your hands fisting the edge of the countertop as you come around his cock. He follows right after you, cursing as he fills you up. Your legs give out, your knees hitting the ground.
His hands are on your waist, holding you up. He’s still inside you, his hips pressed against your ass. He lets out a low groan, his fingers digging into your skin. “Holy hell…” he murmured, his voice hoarse.
He stays that way for a moment, not moving. You can feel his chest heaving against your back, his body still pressed against yours. Finally, he pulls out, reaching down to pull your shirt back down. He turns you around to face him, his hands coming up to cup your face.
You’re practically panting, your legs still shaky. He looks down at you, his eyes dark with satisfaction. He runs his hands down your sides, resting them on your hips.
“You okay?” he murmured, his thumbs rubbing circles into your skin. Your legs are still shaking, your heart still pounding in your chest. You nod, your hands coming up to grip his arms.
His hands slide down to your thighs, his fingers digging into your skin. He lifts you up, sitting you on the counter.
He steps between your legs, his hands still on your thighs. He’s looking at you intently now, his eyes scanning your face. He reaches up to brush a strand of hair off your forehead, his fingers lingering for a moment.
"You sure you’re okay?" he murmured, his voice soft. "Shit, I am so sorry. I just.. Lost myself."
You nod, your hands still gripping his arms for stability. “I’m okay.” you murmured, your voice still breathy. You take a deep breath, trying to regain your composure.
He lets out a soft laugh, shaking his head. “I didn’t mean to get so carried away.” he murmured.
You let out a nervous laugh, feeling a little vulnerable still. “It’s okay.” you murmured. You take a deep breath, trying to steady yourself. He’s still standing between your legs, his hands still on your thighs.
After a moment, he steps back, giving you a little space. He runs a hand through his hair, his gaze lingering on you. "God," he murmured, running a hand through his hair. "It must have been very painful."
You nod, wincing a little as you shift on the counter. He lets out a soft curse, his hands coming up to grip your hips to steady you.
"Sorry." he murmured, running a hand up and down your side. "Are you sore? Let me get you some ice or something."
You shake your head, putting a hand on his arm to stop him. "No, it’s okay." you murmured. "I’m okay."
He looks at you skeptically, his hands still gripping your hips. “You’re sure you’re okay?“ he murmured, his eyes scanning your face.
You nod, reaching up to brush his hair out of his eyes. “I’m sure.” you murmured. “I’m okay.”
He lets out a breath, his shoulders relaxing. “You’re sure that was...okay?” he asked, his voice softer. "It was our first.. anal?" he chuckled
You blush, feeling a little embarrassed. "Yeah." you murmured, "It was."
He lets out a small chuckle, his hands still on your hips. "And you’re fine?" he asked, his voice low.
You nod, reaching up to rest your hands on his shoulders. "I’m fine." you murmured. "Can we try again?"
His eyebrows raise in surprise. “You want to do it again?” he asked, his hands still on your hips.
You nod, biting your lip nervously. “Yeah.” you murmured. “I want to try again sometime."
He lets out a deep breath, his hands still holding your hips. “Okay. Yeah. We can do that.” he murmured.
She woke slowly, the warmth of the blankets making her reluctant to open her eyes. For a few sleepy seconds, she forgot where she was. Then she felt the unfamiliar softness beneath her and caught the faint, unmistakable scent of Taehyung lingering around her.
Her eyes opened immediately.
She was in his bed.
A blush crept across her cheeks as memories of the previous night returned the broken glass, his arms around her, him carrying her here, and the way he had stubbornly stayed beside her.
She slowly turned her head.
Taehyung was already awake.
And he was looking at her.
Not casually.
Not the way he usually did.
His gaze was soft, almost unbearably tender, as though he had been watching her sleep for some time. The moment their eyes met, however, he looked away and reached for his phone as if he had been doing something incredibly important.
She smiled to herself.
That was Taehyung's way of caring.
He would never admit that he'd spent half the night making sure she was comfortable. He would simply look away whenever she caught him being soft.
"How is your foot?"
His voice was low, still slightly rough from sleep.
" It's Better now ."
"Does it hurt?" His voice laced with concern.
"Only a little."
His brows immediately furrowed.
He immediately reached for his phone again.
"Let me call the maids to help you with basic chores."
Before she could argue, he had already instructed the maids to help her get ready and bring her breakfast upstairs.
She sighed.
"Taehyung, I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself."
He paused.
" Just because you can of take care of yourself That doesn't mean you have to do it alone, princess."
Her heart gave a strange little flutter and that nickname made blush rise at her cheeks.
By the time she was ready, breakfast had been arranged in his room. She assured him several times that she was fine, but Taehyung still looked unconvinced.
He had a meeting waiting for him.
He knew he had to leave.
Yet he stood near the door as though physically incapable of walking away.
Taehyung turned toward the maids, his expression immediately becoming cold again.
“Listen carefully. She is injured, and I don't want her walking around unnecessarily. Make sure she gets everything she needs. If she says she needs something, you get it for her immediately.”
The maids nodded nervously. “Yes, sir.”
His gaze hardened.
“And if I find out that she was left unattended, that she was made to walk when she shouldn't have, or that her injury got worse because someone wasn't paying attention…”
He paused, his voice dropping dangerously low.
“You'll answer to me. And you already know you don't want that.”
The maids went pale.
"Taehyung!" She immediately stopped him.
He stopped.
She gave him a pointed look.
"Please don't threaten them."
His expression remained serious.
"I wasn't threatening them."
"You were!"
The maids stood perfectly still.
She sighed.
"They've been taking very good care of me. You don't have to frighten them every time you leave."
Taehyung glanced at the maids.
For a moment, he looked almost confused.
Then he cleared his throat.
"Just... please take care of her."
The maids looked stunned as if something has possessed him.
They immediately nodded.
"Of course, sir."
She smiled.
Taehyung looked at her, and something in his expression softened.
He stepped closer.
"Take care of yourself."
She nodded.
"I will."
His fingers lifted almost unconsciously and he gently brushed them over her cheek.
The touch was so tender that she forgot how to breathe.
"Promise?" His looked concerned.
Her heart skipped.
She could only nod.
Taehyung seemed to realize what he'd done a second too late. His thumb lingered against her cheek before he finally pulled his hand away.
"Good."
And then he left.
She remained standing there.
Completely still.
Her fingers slowly rose to the place where his hand had been.
What was happening to her?
Six months ago, she had been terrified of this man.
Now one gentle touch from him could make her heart race.
And what was worse?
She was beginning to like it. She gulped.
Taehyung's concern didn't end when he left the mansion.
Not even close.
By ten in the morning, her phone rang.
"How's your foot?"
She smiled.
"Fine."
"Did you eat?"
"Yes."
"Did you take the medicine?"
"Yes."
"Are you resting?"
She laughed.
"Taehyung, I am not dying."
There was silence on the other end.
"Good, Take care, Princess."
The call ended.
She stared at her phone as she blushed.
Four hours later, it rang again.
"Do you need anything?"
"No."
Another pause.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes i am fine "
"All right."
Then another in the afternoon.
By the fourth call, she was laughing before she even answered.
"What now?"
"Nothing."
"Then why are you calling?"
"I wanted to check."
She smiled.
"You've already checked three times."
He bit his lip embarrassed.
Then she heard Jimin's voice somewhere in the background.
"I told you that you will annoy her this way , she called you annoying , didn't she?"
Her laughter immediately grew louder.
Jimin's voice came through again.
"He's been checking his phone every ten minutes all day. I'm beginning to think I'm his secretary."
"Jimin!" Taehyung's voice sounded dangerously close to the phone.
"I'm going." Jimin speaks
She heard hurried footsteps.
Then silence.
A second later, Taehyung spoke again.
"Don't listen to him."
She smiled.
"You're cute when you're worried."
There was a long pause.
She suddenly realized what she'd said.
Her cheeks warmed.
On the other end, Taehyung went completely still as his heart fluttered.
Then, very quietly-
"Get some rest."
The call ended.
She stared at the phone, her face burning.
Meanwhile, somewhere across the city, Taehyung sat behind his desk with the faintest smile on his face.
Jimin, standing nearby, noticed immediately.
He stared at his boss.
Then at the phone.
Then back at Taehyung.
"Oh, you're finished."
Taehyung looked up.
"What?"
Jimin shook his head solemnly.
"Nothing."
He smiled.
"Our terrifying mafia king has officially become a husband."
Taehyung's expression hardened.
"Leave."
Jimin laughed.
"See? Still terrifying."
But the moment Jimin turned away, Taehyung glanced at his phone again.
Just in case she called.
------------
Later that evening Jimin came to keep a check on her himself to see if his friend is doing well.
Taehyung told Jimin to be with her till he arrives and give her company. So he sat on one of the couch in her room pretending to read a book but soon stretched lazily across one of the sofas with a book covering his face.
“Jimin! Are you reading?”
“No.”
“Then what are you doing?”
“Practicing the art of looking busy while doing absolutely nothing.”
She laughed . “Does Taehyung know you're wasting company time?”
Jimin immediately sat upright. “Madam, please. I am a very hardworking man.”
“You were sleeping.”
“I was thinking with my eyes closed.”
She shook her head. “You and Taehyung are both impossible.”
“Excuse me, don't put me in the same category as him.”
Jimin huffed as she smiled.
" So what i mean to say is you look really tired, there is no need to sit here, I am okay, why don't you take just go home and have rest."
" I can't ,your husband will kill me."
"He won't, I'll handle him. Just go and have rest."
Jimin grinned triumphantly. “See? This is why you're my favorite person in this house.”
A deep voice suddenly came from behind them.
“Interesting.”
Both of them froze.
Jimin slowly turned around.
Taehyung stood there, hands in his pockets, staring at him.
Jimin pointed at her immediately.
“She made me say it.”
“I did not!” She counters playfully
Taehyung's lips twitched.
“Keep talking, Jimin.”
Jimin stood up.
“Actually, I just remembered my shift is over so yeah goodbye guys.”
And he disappeared down the staircase before Taehyung could say another word.
She covered her mouth, trying not to laugh.
Taehyung looked at her.
“He's funny.” She speaks
“He's annoying.” he retorts
“He makes me laugh.” She counters
Taehyung sighed.
Then, very quietly, “Apparently that's enough to keep him alive.”
She blushed as her heart skipped a beat
And for once, Taehyung didn't even pretend to be annoyed.
-------
A few days later, she finally convinced Taehyung that her foot was completely fine.
“I can walk see.” She walks few steps.
“ and now i am completely capable to go outside.”
His eyes narrowed.
She gave him her best pleading look.
“I can even survive a party .”
Taehyung sighed.
She knew that sigh.
She was winning.
“Jimin said there will be amazing food.”
“And dessert.”
Another sigh.
She smiled sweetly.
“Fine if you want to go that bad and you are feeling completely fine then i will take you to the Ball party this weekend.”
Her face immediately lit up as she blinked.
“You'll come with me?”
“I'm not letting you go alone so ofcourse I'll be going with you.”
She smiled.
“Deal is done then.”
Taehyung looked away, hiding the small smile threatening to appear.
These days, he was becoming far too easy for her to manipulate.
All she needed was those innocent eyes, and the ruthless mafia king who had made grown men tremble would quietly surrender.
It wasn't only her requests that he had begun giving in to.
She had somehow developed the habit of scolding him too.
“Taehyung, you haven't eaten properly.”
“I ate.”
“That was just coffee.”
“Bur It counts right!”
“It absolutely does not.”
He had stared at her for several seconds before silently picking up his fork.
His men had witnessed the entire thing in stunned silence.
Another day, she had taken one look at the glass in his hand.
“That's enough alcohol.”
Taehyung had actually put it down.
Jimin had nearly choked.
And when she once told him, “You should talk more politely to people,” Taehyung had listened without a single argument.
Nobody knew what was more shocking -the fact that Kim Taehyung obeyed her or the fact that he seemed genuinely happy doing it.
───
The ball was one of those extravagant gatherings attended only by the city's wealthiest and most influential elite , powerful businessmen, politicians, underworld leaders, heiresses dressed in diamonds, and families whose names carried as much weight as their fortunes.
Jimin had been unusually enthusiastic about it when he told her about the event, secretly hoping she would convince Taehyung to attend with her. Taehyung despised unnecessary social gatherings and usually appeared only when business deals, alliances, or negotiations required his presence but Jimin knew one thing for certain: if anyone could drag the notoriously antisocial mafia king to a ball for an evening of food, music, and fun, it was his wife.
When Taehyung returned home, he carried a long garment box in his hands. He stopped in front of her and held it out, suddenly looking almost shy as he scratched the back of his neck.
“It’s for you.”
She blinked in surprise before taking the box from him. “For me?”
He nodded, his eyes briefly shifting away.
“It’s going to be our first public appearance together,” he murmured. “So… Kim Taehyung’s woman should look like she owns the place.”
Her heart fluttered at the words.
She slowly opened the box.
Inside lay a breathtaking dress, carefully chosen in a style that was elegant without being overwhelming. She stared at it in awe, her fingers lightly brushing the fabric.
“Taehyung…”
He watched her reaction quietly, trying to hide the satisfaction in his eyes.
“You like it?”
She looked up at him with the brightest smile.
“I love it.”
And somehow, that simple smile made every bit of effort worth it.
Later, when she finally came downstairs wearing the dress, Taehyung was waiting in the foyer.
He looked up.
And stopped.
Completely.
His eyes travelled over her, taking in every detail, before finally returning to her face. For once, Kim Taehyung the ruthless mafia king who could stare down an armed enemy without blinking simply forgot how to breathe. She looked breathtakingly beautiful, almost ethereal beneath the warm chandelier lights.
She shifted nervously beneath his intense gaze.
“Is it okay? How am I looking?"
He continued staring.
“Taehyung?”
“You look…”
He stopped, seemingly searching for a word that could possibly do her justice.
She waited.
He finally exhaled softly.
“Beautiful.”
Her cheeks warmed instantly as she looked away shyly.
“You look very handsome too.”
The corner of his lips curved.
“I know.”
She stared at him in disbelief.
“That was arrogant.”
“I was only agreeing with my wife.”
She laughed, and just like that, the tension broke.
Taehyung's heartbeat finally settled.
Almost.
Because even as he offered her his arm, he couldn't stop stealing glances at her, silently wondering how he was supposed to survive an entire evening with the most beautiful woman in the room standing beside him.
It was their first public appearance together as husband and wife.
The moment they entered the ballroom, cameras turned toward them.
Whispers spread through the room.
Kim Taehyung.
His wife.
The mysterious Mrs. Kim.
She instinctively tightened her fingers around his arm. He noticed immediately.
“I've never been photographed like this.”
He leaned slightly closer.
“Dont worry. You have nothing to be nervous about. Just hold onto me and follow me, rest I'll handle everything myself. Just focus on enjoying the evening and all the tasty food you were excited about." His voice softened.
Her nervous smile returned.
And somehow, that was enough as suddenly everything seemed easier than before, the night slowly became easier.
There was music, laughter, extravagant food and people who were far too fascinated by the mysterious woman who had somehow managed to soften The Kim Taehyung.
She looked around the ballroom, watching couples dancing and laughing together on the polished floor. For a moment, she simply watched them, her eyes bright with curiosity. Then she turned toward Taehyung and gently tugged at his hand.
“Taehyung, dance with me.”
He glanced toward the dance floor and immediately looked away.
“Let’s enjoy the food you were talking about.”
She blinked. “You’re changing the topic.”
“I’m not.”
“You are.”
“I think you should try the dessert.”
She smiled knowingly. “Taehyung.”
“No.”
“Please.”
She gave him the most innocent puppy eyes she could manage.
Taehyung stared at her.
She stared back.
A few seconds passed.
He sighed, defeated.
“You’re impossible.”
Her face immediately lit up with triumph.
A few moments later, the feared mafia king was standing on the dance floor with his wife.
She giggled when he stepped in the wrong direction.
“I don’t dance,” he muttered. “I don't know how to.”
“You do now.” She took his hand gently. “Let me teach you. Just focus on us, okay? Forget everyone else. Focus on having fun. You can do that.”
He looked at her for a moment before nodding.
She carefully placed one of his hands around her waist and guided his other hand into hers. Then, almost shyly, she rested her free hand against his chest and stepped closer.
Taehyung stopped breathing for a second.
She was suddenly so close.
Close enough for him to feel her warmth through the fabric of her dress, close enough to catch her familiar scent, close enough that the rest of the ballroom seemed to blur around them.
She noticed his stunned expression and smiled softly.
“Relax.”
His hand instinctively settled more securely around her waist.
She placed her hands lightly on his shoulders, and they began moving together with the music.
Her heart fluttered at the warmth of his large hand against her waist. She had never been this conscious of his touch before. Every small movement seemed to send another nervous little flutter through her chest.
Taehyung wasn't doing much better.
His gaze remained fixed on her face.
She looked breathtakingly beautiful this close, her eyes shining beneath the ballroom lights. Yet there was something beyond attraction in the way he looked at her now something softer, deeper, something neither of them quite knew how to name.
A few moments ago, he had been desperately trying to avoid dancing.
Now he didn't want the song to end.
She slowly guided him through the steps.
Taehyung followed, surprisingly obedient.
But after a while, she noticed something.
He wasn't looking at their feet.
He wasn't looking around the ballroom either.
He was looking at her.
She raised an eyebrow.
“What?”
“Nothing.”
“You're staring.”
His lips curved faintly.
“I know.”
She laughed softly and shook her head, continuing to guide him.
Neither of them noticed how many people had begun watching.
Neither cared.
Their eyes remained locked, their smiles becoming softer as they moved together.
For those few minutes, the ruthless mafia king who ruled an entire dark world simply disappeared.
There was only Taehyung.
And his woman in his arms.
And somehow, surrounded by hundreds of people, they both felt as though there were only two people in the entire ballroom.
Her and him.
Kim Taehyung the man who rarely smiled, rarely touched anyone, and had once been infamous for treating every social gathering like a business meeting was dancing with his wife as though the entire ballroom had disappeared.
And perhaps, for him, it had.
When she was beside him, the rest of the world became background noise.
Later, Taehyung was pulled into a conversation with several influential men.
She remained nearby, enjoying her dessert.
That was when one of the men's daughters approached.
She looked Taehyung up and down without even attempting to hide her interest.
“So you're finally showing your wife in public.”
Taehyung barely acknowledged her.
She continued anyway.
“You know, men like you aren't really made for marriage. Mafia men aren't loyal. They keep mistresses for entertainment. Wives are mostly for appearances, alliances, and producing heirs. And finally, you chose yourself a beautiful little showpiece.”
She smiled shamelessly and stepped closer.
“So, is the mistress position still empty, or have you already chosen someone for yourself? Because if it's vacant, I'd like to apply.”
Her eyes flickered toward his wife before returning to him.
“I promise we'd have far more fun than she could ever give you. I'm sure someone like her can't satisfy you enough anyway.”
She smiled.
“So why don't you let me take that place?”
Several men around them chuckled.
She looked disgusted.
The woman turned toward Taehyung.
“So if you're looking for a mistress…”
She stepped closer seductively.
“I'm available.”
Then she glanced toward his wife.
"Your accidental little wife won't wind, will she?"
Suddenly the laughter stopped because Taehyung’s expression had changed.
He turned toward the woman slowly.
“Enough.”
His voice was quiet.
The woman smiled nervously. “I was only joking.”
“No.” His gaze hardened.
“You were disrespecting my wife and that too in front of her man. The audacity.”
His jaw tightened.
“I will not tolerate that. Not at any cost.”
He took a slow step toward her.
“And for your information, I don't keep mistresses. I don't cheat.”
His eyes shifted toward his wife.
The coldness in them softened instantly.
“I believe in loyalty.”
He extended his hand toward her.
She immediately reached for it, clutching his fingers as though they were the only thing keeping her steady.
“The woman beside me isn't a showpiece. She isn't an alliance. And she certainly isn't someone I married simply to give me heirs.”
He looked directly at her.
“She is my wife.”
Her eyes shimmered as she stared at him, something warm and profound blooming inside her chest.
His gaze remained locked with hers.
“And she is the woman I chose.”
Her heart skipped.
Taehyung's voice softened, but every word carried absolute certainty.
“She is the person I want waiting for me when I come home. The person whose happiness matters to me. The person I will protect with everything I have.”
He gave her hand a reassuring squeeze.
“So don't ever insult her by suggesting that she isn't enough for me.”
Her eyes shimmered with emotions she didn't yet know how to name.
Then Taehyung's expression turned cold again as he looked back at the woman.
“And if you ever speak about my wife like that again…”
He paused.His eyes became frighteningly still.
“You won't live to see another day.”
The woman's face drained of color.
“Have I made myself clear?”
Nobody answered.
The men who had been laughing moments earlier were suddenly staring at their glasses, intimidated by the dangerous aura radiating from the mafia king.
Taehyung turned away.
His attention immediately returned to his wife.
“Are you okay?”
She nodded silently still speechless.
But she couldn't stop looking at him.
There was something different in her eyes now.
Something warm.
Something deep.
Something dangerously close to adoration.
“Come.”
He placed a gentle hand on her shoulder and guided her away from the group.
She followed without hesitation.
Taehyung didn't look back.
He didn't care about the party anymore.
Not when his wife had been disrespected.
Not when all he wanted was to get her somewhere safe, away from people who didn't understand what she meant to him.
And as she walked beside him, her fingers remained intertwined with his.
For the first time, she wasn't holding his hand because she needed protection.
She was holding it because she wanted to.
As they walked away, one of the older men grabbed his daughter by the arm.
“What have you done? You stupid sh*t !”
“I was only having fun, Dad. ”
“You ruined everything!” He shouts at her.
He glanced toward the doors through which Taehyung had just disappeared.
“Do you have any idea what this party is without Kim Taehyung? I could have made some great beneficial dealings with him but you dumb head you had to ruin everything. I will make sure you regret it."
The woman fell silent.
Meanwhile, Taehyung walked beside his wife, his hand still wrapped protectively around hers.
And she couldn't stop looking at him.
For the first time, she wasn't simply grateful for his protection.
Something much more dangerous had begun taking root in her heart.
You ever see a man who knows he’s fine. You can’t help but feel slightly annoyed and have the inner urge to call him a douche bag, but you have no reason to outside of the fact that you’re just mad that someone could look like this.
And when they interact with you you can’t help but roll your eyes, but mostly out of anger because you wish he could roll your hips out of their sockets.
pairing: taehyung x f!reader | rating: 18+ | wc: 9,775 | warnings: here
genre: stalker!tae, ballerina!reader, paris, psychological, dark romance
"held water"
"You know exactly what he needs from you now: instructions, boundaries, permission. What you do not know is what to call the thing inside your chest when he steps into the rain to keep it from touching you—or why, when you take his trembling hand, your nails are already painted his favorite blue."
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➤ author's note: Hi, babies!!! I have been SO excited for this chapter because we are officially entering one of my favorite stretches of their relationship, where all the little rituals and patterns we’ve been building start changing shape. There’s a lot of softness here, but because this is Altars, obviously the softness is psychologically concerning. My specialty. You’re welcome.
This chapter also digs a little deeper into Taehyung in a way I’ve been waiting to do for a long time. There are parts of his psychology I’ve deliberately kept at the edges until now because I wanted you to understand his behaviors before I started handing you some of the reasons behind them. I’m very attached to the distinction between understanding a behavior and excusing it, and I think this chapter lives in that uncomfortable little space beautifully.
Pearl, meanwhile, is having an absolutely terrible time discovering that being emotionally affected by another human being is, unfortunately, a real phenomenon. Thoughts and prayers. I LOVE writing her at this stage because she can intellectualize basically anything until her own body starts betraying the argument. And there’s something happening with Ondine here that I’ve been quietly building for chapters, so I’m very curious whether you guys catch what’s shifting before she fully does.
Also: blue. That’s all I’m saying. BLUE. Those of you who have been paying attention to the color symbolism may begin screaming whenever convenient. This chapter is intimate in a way that I think matters much more than anything overtly romantic could right now, and I am extremely normal about it. Enjoy!!! (¬‿¬)
Don’t remember to like and reblog to fuel the psychological nightmares <3
You wake at 5:22 by the sound of the music box.
You’ve gotten used to it. Always eight minutes before the alarm.
Your phone glows beside it.
You enter the chat with Taehyung.
That is unnecessary.
You do it anyway.
Three gray bars.
This message was deleted. This message was deleted. This message was deleted. Timestamps: 3:14, 3:39, 4:07.
Three attempts at a sentence he couldn't let survive past his own thumbs.
Your chest does a compression behind the sternum, small and warm and entirely uncalled for. You catalogue it as a symptom. Move on.
You type.
𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚐𝚘𝚘𝚍 𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚔𝚒𝚎 🌊
Send.
You set the phone on the mattress beside you. Lie back. Stare at the ceiling.
The phone buzzes.
𝐌𝐨𝐬𝐬🌊: 𝚑𝚒
One word. Lowercase. No punctuation. Delivered in four seconds, which means he was already holding his phone. Which means he's been awake. Which means the three deleted messages were not the only things he typed in the dark.
𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚢𝚘𝚞’𝚛𝚎 𝚞𝚙 𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚕𝚢 𝚖𝚘𝚜𝚜
𝐌𝐨𝐬𝐬🌊: 𝚒 𝚍𝚒𝚍𝚗’𝚝 𝚜𝚕𝚎𝚎𝚙
𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚊𝚝 𝚊𝚕𝚕?
Three dots appear. Vanish. Appear again. Vanish again. Then:
𝐌𝐨𝐬𝐬🌊: 𝚊 𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚕𝚎. 𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚏𝚕𝚘𝚘𝚛
Your hand stills on the screen.
On the floor?
Not the sheets you told him to leave, the ones soaked with the evidence of what he did while you listened, while your own hand moved between your legs in the bath and his broken voice said mommy.
He left them. He obeyed. But he couldn't lie in them, so he folded himself onto the floorboards beside the mattress and slept there instead, which is the most him solution to any problem you've ever encountered.
Technically obedient, spiritually self-punishing, and so earnest it makes your ribs squeeze around something you refuse to name.
Alone, in your room, at 5:26 in the morning, lying in sheets that smell like your own body gel, you are smiling. The real smile that you haven't used since you were young enough for it not to cost anything.
He's so cute you could scream.
𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚢𝚘𝚞’𝚛𝚎 𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚐𝚒𝚟𝚎𝚗. 𝚋𝚊𝚛𝚎𝚕𝚢.
𝐌𝐨𝐬𝐬🌊: 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚔 𝚢𝚘𝚞
𝐌𝐨𝐬𝐬🌊: 𝚝𝚘𝚍𝚊𝚢 𝚒𝚝 𝚖𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚛𝚊𝚒𝚗
The pivot is so abrupt you almost laugh.
𝐌𝐨𝐬𝐬🌊: 𝚝𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚊𝚗 𝚞𝚖𝚋𝚛𝚎𝚕𝚕𝚊 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚢𝚘𝚞. 𝚙𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚎
𝐌𝐨𝐬𝐬🌊: 𝚍𝚘𝚗’𝚝 𝚐𝚎𝚝 𝚠𝚎𝚝
Your thumb hovers.
The giddiness expands. It becomes something else. Something with teeth.
𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚘𝚑? 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚕𝚊𝚜𝚝 𝚗𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝? 😇
The typing indicator appears.
Vanishes. Appears. Vanishes. Appears.
Holds. Holds for nine full seconds.
Vanishes.
You can actually see him, wherever he is—forehead in his hands, phone balanced on his knee, face the color of a bruised peach, trying to type a response to the fact that you just referenced his phone-guided orgasm at 5:30 in the morning with an angel emoji and he doesn't have a single neural pathway that knows what to do with that information.
The indicator reappears.
𝐌𝐨𝐬𝐬🌊: 𝚙𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚕
That's it. Just your name. Lowercase. No period. Delivered like a distress signal.
He pivots from ruin to caretaking so fast it should give him whiplash. One message he can barely type your name without short-circuiting; the next he's steering the conversation toward whether you've eaten.
𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚒 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕
𝐌𝐨𝐬𝐬🌊: 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚌𝚘𝚝𝚝𝚘𝚗 𝚙𝚊𝚍𝚜
Your hand goes still.
He knows about the cotton pads, or he's guessed, or he's watched long enough to understand the computation of your body—the days you eat and the days you enact eating and the difference between them.
𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚋𝚘𝚜𝚜𝚢 𝚝𝚘𝚍𝚊𝚢
𝐌𝐨𝐬𝐬🌊: 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚘𝚗𝚕𝚢 𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚙𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚢 𝚢𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚍𝚊𝚢
𝐌𝐨𝐬𝐬🌊: 𝚙𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚎 𝚎𝚊𝚝
𝐌𝐨𝐬𝐬🌊: 𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚞𝚊𝚕 𝚏𝚘𝚘𝚍
𝐌𝐨𝐬𝐬🌊: 𝚙𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚎
𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚘𝚔𝚊𝚢 𝚖𝚘𝚜𝚜. 𝚒’𝚕𝚕 𝚎𝚊𝚝 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕. 𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚖𝚒𝚜𝚎.
𝐌𝐨𝐬𝐬🌊: 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚔 𝚢𝚘𝚞
The relief in two words. You can feel it through the screen.
The silence stretches. You count it. Fifteen seconds. Twenty. Thirty. Forty.
He's spiraling. You can feel it. He's sitting wherever he is with his raw pink hands and his too-fast heartbeat, staring at the word creep on his cracked screen and pointing out every reason it's true and every reason he should apologize and every reason he should delete your number and scrub his phone with alcohol wipes.
You wait.
You let him sit in it.
At forty-one seconds:
𝐌𝐨𝐬𝐬🌊: 𝚢𝚎𝚜
No stammer. No apology. No backpedal.
Yes.
He said yes.
A small, hot thing that has been pressing against your ribs for weeks, tests the give in your chest.
Then you remember you have a dance to perform and that you told him you’d have breakfast.
So you go to the kitchen. Nobody’s awake yet.
Figures.
You eat a yogurt standing at the counter with a spoon and you do not count the calories and you do not calculate the minutes of barre it will cost because he asked you to eat something and the asking had two pleases in it.
Once done, you set the spoon in the sink. Rinse it once.
Your dance bag is already packed from last night. Pointe shoes in descending order of wear. Tape. Spare elastics. Perfume you haven't sprayed yet.
The pale blue tissue paper rests on the nightstand and you do not even look at it on the way out.
You look at it.
The satin edge peeks from the fold.
His color. His mouth. His ’blue, you'd be pretty in blue’ delivered in a whisper inside a shop that smelled like gardenias and shame.
Pretty.
He is.
There are twenty-six floor tiles in Dr Bernard’s office.
He knows this the way he knows your rehearsal schedule, the weight of a macaron box, the exact time the light outside your balcony flickers. Twenty-six. Four by six, plus two cut ones by the radiator.
Except it’s twenty-seven now.
Because of the line.
The chalk line lives near the leg of the armchair opposite him. Thin. Faded. Almost gone. Almost. Not gone enough.
Dr Bernard had drawn it months ago, offhand.
He’d decided to count it.
He has regretted that decision every session since.
Twenty-seven tiles. Seven times three plus six. Wrong number, good number, broken number.
He counts them again anyway, eyes tracking the grid while Bernard flips through his notes.
One-two-three-four.
Cream. Crack. Hairline fracture in grout.
Five-six-seven-eight.
Shadow under the radiator. Dust bunnies he wants to sweep, can’t.
Nine-ten-eleven-twelve.
The place where the chalk line starts, pale ghost-white on gray.
Thirteen-fourteen-fifteen.
The chalk line crossing. The extra. The mistake. The new.
Sixteen-seventeen-eighteen—
“Taehyung?”
He loses it. Inhales.
“Sorry.”
He goes back to the beginning.
One-two-three-four.
“You don’t have to apologize,” Bernard says, mild.
He always says that. The words float around the edges of the room like the fern in the corner—present, unobtrusive, photosynthesizing something he can’t see.
Five-six-seven-eight.
“I know,” Taehyung lies.
He curls his fingers on his knees to keep from rubbing his jaw. The urge is there, the familiar itch along the bone where his thumb likes to live, but his hands are already pink from last night and this morning. The skin between his fingers still stings when he flexes them.
He is trying to be good.
Trying to be good for you and for Bernard and for the chalk line and for all the things that are watching him count.
Nine-ten-eleven-twelve.
The floor is cleaner than his.
That helps.
He imagines Bernard on his hands and knees with a bucket, scrubbing the grout until lines of dark turn light. It’s ridiculous. Comforting.
Thirteen-fourteen—
He glances at the chalk.
Stops.
Nineteen? Was he on nineteen? No.
His stomach drops.
He starts over.
Bernard’s pen clicks softly. Not impatient. Just a sound.
“You’re at the tiles?”
“Yes.”
“Where are they today?” Bernard asks.
He knows this trick now. Bernard always attaches feelings to locations. Body. Room. Timeline.
“Under my feet,” he says, because he can do jokes now. Small ones. Edgewise.
Bernard huffs a little. That counts as a laugh, in Bernard-language.
“Any different from last week’s tiles?” he asks.
The same tiles Different him. Different you.
He can’t say that.
He shrugs one shoulder. “Chalk’s lighter.”
Bernard looks down.
“That it is.” A ballpoint over paper, a brief note.
He wants to lean forward and see what it says. He doesn’t. He never looks at Bernard’s notes.
“How are your hands?” Bernard asks instead.
Taehyung presses his fingers into his knees.
“Fine.”
“Show me?”
He hesitates. Then he unwraps his fingers from the gloves and holds his hands up, palms out. Pink across the knuckles. Fainter at the heels. One small crack where skin met soap and lost.
Bernard’s mouth tightens. Not much. Just a little.
“That looks… uncomfortable,” he says.
“It’s okay.” Taehyung drops his hands back to his lap, interlaces them so he can’t see them. “I—I didn’t use bleach.”
A small victory, dropped between them like a coin.
Bernard nods once.
“That’s good.”
You did that.
You and your voice on the phone saying ‘no bleach, no scrubbing, once, like a person, because I said so.’. You telling him to put his compulsions on a leash. You saying ’good boy’ when he admitted twice. Fourteen. That you saw him. That you thanked him anyway.
“What changed?” Bernard asks quietly. “From last week, with the scrubbing?”
You changed.
“Someone… said—” he stops.
Stops because the next word is allowed, and that word tastes like your tongue in his ear now, like the warm wobble of your voice when you came with your hand between your legs and your phone on the rim of the tub.
Bernard waits. Patient. He’s good at that.
Taehyung swallows.
“If—” he begins instead, the old hypothetical suit slipping on over his skin. “If someone told you that you were allowed to do something you always thought was wrong…”
He trails off. Bernard’s pen doesn’t move.
“And?” he prompts, gently.
Taehyung curls his fingers tighter.
“If someone… gave you permission,” he says slowly, “and the permission felt—”
He stops.
What did it feel like?
Holy. Filthy. Like a collar done up at his throat and a leash let out at the same time. Like the sound of your breath through a speaker while he buried his face in a pillow and rubbed himself raw for you.
He can’t say safe.
He can’t say loose.
He can’t say like being forgiven in advance for something you haven’t done yet.
He shrugs again.
“Big,” he says, because that’s all he has. “Too big.”
Bernard nods once. “From the person?”
He doesn’t say who.
Hasn’t asked who.
Taehyung stares at the chalk line.
“From… someone,” he hedges.
The word someone is thin as rice paper. He can see your outline right through it.
Bernard seems to agree, but he doesn’t push.
Instead, he asks, “When you obey this person—” he pauses, chooses his words with care, “—does the fear get smaller, or does it change shape?”
Taehyung frowns.
He wants to say smaller.
He wants to say that when you text him ’eat’ and he eats lentils over the sink because you said so, the dread shuts up for an hour. That when you tell him ’no bleach’ and he stands on the bathmat shaking after a normal shower, the terror drains with the water.
He wants that to be the answer.
It isn’t.
He shifts on the chair.
“The… fear about what?” he asks.
Bernard tilts his head. “About being dirty. About contaminating. About doing something wrong.”
Oh.
That fear.
The one that lives in the walls of his lungs.
He drags his eyes across the tiles again instead of into Bernard’s.
“It’s not… smaller,” he admits.
“Okay,” he says. “What then?”
Taehyung knits his fingers tighter together until the pink skin blanches.
“It… moves.”
“How?”
He chews the inside of his cheek for a second, feeling the edge of tooth against soft tissue.
“Before, it was… everywhere,” he says slowly. “Like… if I touched anything, it would spread. Me on everything. Everything on me.”
“Mm.”
“Now it’s—” he gropes for an image, finds you in his head instead—your mouth on the line saying ’I’ll call’—“it’s like… pools.”
“Pools?” Bernard repeats.
Taehyung nods, shoulders hunching.
“Little… uh… places,” he tries. “Spots. Not the whole… room. Just… moments.”
He lifts his eyes off the tiles high enough to see Bernard’s socks. Dark blue. Small anchors on them. Sea. His brain latches onto that.
“Like… water,” he blurts. “In a sink. Or a bath. Held.”
Bernard’s pen pauses, then writes one quick line.
“Held water,” he echoes, neutral.
Taehyung nods.
He likes water held.
He likes water in tubs, in basins, in the steam of a shower turned all the way up, in the hush at the bottom of a glass. He likes the canal at night when the surface keeps its mirror still. He likes the ocean in postcards, in films, in the sound your dancing makes in his head when you go en pointe. He has spent half his life trying to get clean with water. Water is not the enemy.
Water from above is the enemy.
He does not say this. He has not said this. Not in nearly three months.
“Held,” he repeats. “Not… spilled.”
Bernard’s gaze lifts, gentle.
“Not spilled,” he agrees softly. “Not falling.”
Taehyung’s stomach does something cold.
He looks back at the chalk line so hard his eyes nearly cross.
Bernard does not chase him.
“Where are these little places now?” Bernard asks. “These puddles?”
Taehyung’s mouth goes dry.
He could lie. He could say in the sink, near bleach, in the metro when someone brushes his sleeve. Those are true.
They’re not the ones Bernard is asking about.
He stares at his hands instead.
“The… moment before,” he says quietly.
“Before what.”
“Before… they say I can.” He hears your voice on the balcony ’say it,’ hears himself break ’yes I’ll do what you tell me’, hears the tiny space between order and obedience where terror lives now.
“And the moment after,” he adds.
“After you… have?”
He nods.
“After it… feels—” he chokes on good, swaps, “—wrong.”
“And in the middle?” Bernard asks.
He doesn’t want to say.
You in the middle.
Your voice while his hips stutter into the mattress. Your breath when you say ’cum for me, Moss’ like you’re giving him communion.
He swallows.
“It’s… loud,” he says at last. “But not… the same.”
“Loud how.”
“Like—” he gestures vaguely toward his chest, “—like… my head’s under water. But I’m… breathing. Anyway.”
Bernard is quiet for a long beat.
Taehyung counts the silence.
One-two-three-four-five-six-seven.
Again.
One-two-three-four-five—
“I’m going to say something,” Bernard says, finally. “Tell me how it lands.”
Taehyung nods. Bernard crosses his legs at the ankle.
“It sounds,” he says slowly, “like the fear isn’t going away. It’s… reorganizing. Instead of a fog, it’s condensed. More structured.”
Organized.
He doesn’t like that word.
Architecture.
He doesn’t like that one either.
“You said once,” Bernard adds, glancing at his notes, “that your rules made you feel safe because they put everything ‘in its place.’”
“You remember that?” he asks, surprised.
“It was important.”
He swallows.
His rules.
Seven counts. Bleach twice around the corners of the sink. Avoid rain. Avoid your skin. Your mouth. (He has failed.) Avoid his own cock. (He has failed twice in one night, under your orders.)
“So,” Bernard continues, “if this person—this voice that tells you what you are allowed to do—is changing where the fear sit, it might feel… less chaotic. Not smaller. But neater.”
He nods, tiny.
“This person,” Bernard continues, “seems to be giving you permissions that line up with what we’ve been working on. Less scrubbing, more tolerating. Is that fair?”
Tolerating.
He thinks of lying on his bed with his cock hard and sticky inside his pants and not touching it until your voice told him to.
That was tolerating.
That was drowning.
(drown drown drown just drown)
“Yes.”
“Does that make it easier, or harder?”
He frowns.
“Easier to… do it,” he says. “Harder to… not hate myself for doing it.”
Bernard nods slowly.
“Self-hatred is its own compulsion,” he says. “We can talk about that, too.”
The word compulsion always makes Taehyung feel like a broken appliance. Faulty wiring. Too many cycles.
He stares at the tiles again.
Nineteen. He has no idea where nineteen went. He has to start from the top.
He inhales.
One-two-three-four.
Bernard shifts in his chair.
“I want to ask about something else today,” he says. “Related. You texted me after last session, remember?”
He had. One-line, middle of the night, when the rain started.
’I cant breathe when it rains. Sorry.’
Bernard had written back two words in the morning.
’Let’s talk.’
He doesn't want to talk. He also can’t pretend the outside world doesn’t exist when the sky opens.
He nods, slow.
“Can you tell me about the rain?” Bernard asks.
His tongue glues itself to the roof of his mouth. His thumbs twitch.
He hears drops before they’re there. His body remembers before the forecast does.
Bernard waits.
He doesn’t rush to fill silences. That’s one of the reasons Taehyung hasn’t run.
“Rain is…” he begins, then stops.
Wrong word. Not big enough. Too clean.
He tries again.
“I’m… scared of it,” he says, which is a child word, but at least it’s true.
“Only rain?” Bernard checks. “Not shower water. Not baths. Not the canal. Not the sea.”
He shakes his head quickly.
“Those are… fine,” he says. “Good. I like… the canal. Baths. Cleaning. It’s just… the sky.”
“The sky?”
“Water… from the sky.”
His hands have curled into fists before he realizes.
“Because?” Bernard prompts.
His throat locks.
He doesn’t have a clean narrative for this. Just flashes. Concrete balcony. Wet socks. Maman’s voice too close to his ear. Drops hitting his scalp like little slaps. The way the world went blurred beyond the rail.
He swallows. Words refuse. His eyes burn.
Have to say something.
“I… got in trouble,” he forces out. “When I… made mess. When I spilled things.”
Bernard’s nod is tiny.
“What kind of trouble.”
“Balcony,” he whispers.
The whole room shrinks around the word.
Bernard doesn’t flinch.
“She’d… open the door,” he says, ears hot, “and… make me… stand.”
His legs are shaking just describing it.
“How old were you?” Bernard asks.
“Small,” he says. “I don’t know.”
“Under ten?”
He nods.
“Under five?”
He closes his eyes.
“Maybe… five. Six.”
He can’t picture his own height against the glass. He can picture the water running down it like the sky was trying to get in.
“She’d keep you there until…?”
“Until,” he says, meaningless.
Until he shook. Until his socks were heavy. Until his teeth hurt. Until the rain came through his clothes and he couldn’t tell where his skin started.
“And what did she say when she put you there?”
He hears it like a recording.
«You like it dirty so much? Stay until you’re clean.»
His breath stutters.
“I…” he tries, then his throat just… closes.
His hands are nails in his jeans. He can’t make his mouth do the shape. Bernard sees it.
“Can I try?” he offers. “You can stop me if I’m wrong, or if it’s too much.”
Taehyung nods once, jerky.
“She put you outside,” Bernard says slowly. “In the rain. Because you made a mess.”
“Yes.” The word scrapes.
“And she told you it would clean you.”
He feels sick.
“Y-yes.”
“So rain became punishment.”
He nods again, harder.
“In your body now,” Bernard continues, “when it rains, what happens?”
He squeezes his eyes shut.
“Breathing,” he manages. “Bad. Tight.”
He makes a fist near his ribs.
“Hands. Cold. Heart…” he taps his chest with two fingers, (thudthudthudthud) “Fast.”
“And in your thoughts?”
“I… did something,” he whispers. “Or… will. Or… it’s… for me.”
Rain is always for him. Even when he’s alone in the stairwell, watching it jump in gutters, his skin crawls with the knowledge that water from everywhere is looking for his mistakes.
“You told me in your message,” he says, “that you had trouble breathing when it rained.”
His nose stings. The back of his throat does that tight, hot thing it does when a memory is too close.
He sniffs, quick and embarrassed.
“Is that just when you’re outside?” he asks. “Or even if you’re safe. Under a roof.”
Safe.
He doesn’t know that word with rain in the sentence.
“S-sometimes,” he says. “Even… inside. If I can… hear it.”
“What do you do,” he asks gently, “when it starts? Now. As an adult.”
Taehyung shrugs, tiny.
“S-stay in,” he mumbles. “Close the windows. Curtains. B-block the light.”
“And your body?” Bernard presses softly. “Does curling up help? Counting? Calling someone?”
Calling. Texting. His thumb hovering over your name before the forecast app had even loaded.
He swallows.
“I… told someone,” he admits. “To… take an umbrella.”
Bernard’s brows lift a fraction.
“You did?”
He nods, eyes on tile twelve.
“Mmh.”
“Why?” Bernard asks.
He shrugs again, helpless.
“I d-didn’t want…” the sentence frays, “…them… outside. In it.”
“In the rain,” Bernard clarifies.
Another nod.
“What did you write?” he asks.
Taehyung’s face burns.
“J-just… that it might rain,” he mutters, “and… please… take an umbrella. Don’t get wet.”
The please is important. The ’don’t get wet’ is more important. As if the sky is a hand you can slap away from someone else if you say it fast enough.
“You didn’t want anyone you care about to be caught in it,” Bernard says.
The word care is too direct. Too bright.
His chest squeezes.
“N-no,” he blurts automatically, then hears himself, and corrects, small, “Y-yes.”
Bernard nods once, slowly.
“Because,” he says quietly, “in your body, rain still feels like punishment.”
Punishment for mess. For dirt. For existing wrong in a clean space.
Tears prick his eyes.
(he likes messes so much he must stay there stay there let it wash him he made this he did this)
He hates crying here. Hates crying at all. His jaw tightens, but the water climbs anyway.
“I’m… s-sorry,” he mutters.
“What for?” Bernard asks.
“For—” his shoulders hitch, “—for… being… stupid about… water.”
Bernard exhales through his nose.
“Taehyung,” he says, “nothing about that is stupid. A five-year-old being put on a balcony in the rain as punishment is not stupid. It’s cruel.”
Cruel.
He flinches.
He never uses that word about his mother. About anyone in his family. Cruel is for strangers. For headlines. For men in the subway who shove.
“Your nervous system learned,” Bernard goes on, “that rain equals punishment. Of course it reacts that way now. It’s doing exactly what it was trained to do.”
He speaks like he’s talking about a scared animal, not a defective machine.
Taehyung’s teeth sink into the inside of his cheek.
“I don’t… want… her,” he mumbles.
“Her?”
“I don’t want… this person… outside when it… when it does that.”
Bernard’s eyes soften at the slip.
“So you protect them instead,” he says. “You text. You warn.”
“I… asked her to… take an umbrella,” he admits, staring furiously at tile fourteen so the tears don’t fall.
“Did she?” Bernard asks.
He nods.
“S-she said she would.”
“And how did you feel when she said that?”
He thinks.
A loosening in his chest.
“Better,” he concedes.
“Safer?”
“Her,” he says. “Safer.”
“What about you,” Bernard asks. “Any safer?”
He opens his mouth. Closes it.
Rain is still punishment. But if you’re not under it, if you’re under a roof or holding a cheap black umbrella that squeaks, if your coat is zipped and your hair stays mostly dry—
Maybe the sky is not looking for him that day.
“Maybe,” he says, very small.
Bernard sits back.
“This is a place we can work,” he says. “Not with full-on storms yet. But with drips. Patters. Little doses. The same way we’re working with soap.”
Little puddles. Small rains.
He hates it.
“Not now,” Bernard adds. “I see your hands. Your breath. You’re at your edge already just from talking.”
Taehyung nods jerkily, grateful and ashamed at once.
“We’ll plan it,” Bernard says. “We’ll build it. Slowly. You won’t be thrown out on a balcony.”
The way he says it makes Taehyung’s throat close.
“You’re not five anymore,” Bernard adds. “And no one gets to make you stand in the rain as punishment now. Not even your own thoughts.”
His eyes shine. He blinks hard.
Silence settles, but it isn’t blank. It holds. It waits with him while his heart slows from a sprint to a jog.
One-two-three-four-five-six-seven.
Again.
One-two-three-four-five-six-seven.
He drags air in. Lets it go.
After a while, Bernard picks his pen back up.
“I’m going to suggest an exposure,” he says. “You can say ‘not yet’ if it’s too much. Okay?”
He nods.
“It involves water,” Bernard continues. “But the kind you like. Not rain.”
His shoulders loosen a fraction.
“Bath?” he guesses, hoarse.
“Shower,” Bernard says. “Next time you feel the urge to wash seven times, or scrub, I’d like you to try the ‘once’ rule again. Soap, water, like a person. Then—this is new—you text someone after. Tell them: ‘I washed once. I want to wash again. I’m sitting with it.’”
His stomach flips.
“You want me to…”
“Share the discomfort,” Bernard says. “Not alone. With someone safe. Let yourself be seen while you’re in it.” A beat. “You already did a version of that with the umbrella text.”
He thinks of you again.
“I… don’t want to bother…” he starts.
“If she has told you she wants to hear from you,” Bernard interrupts gently, “you are not bothering her. You are… letting her be part of your practice.”
Practice.
Like barre.
Like you doing the same rond de jambe thirty times until the ankle socket stops screaming.
“ERP is not about forcing yourself into terror alone,” Bernard says. “It’s about choosing. With support. In small, tolerable doses. You have support now, don’t you?”
Your name is right there, under his tongue.
He can’t say it. He nods anyway.
Bernard smiles—small, real.
“Good,” he says. “Use it.”
Taehyung looks at the tiles one more time. He doesn’t recount them. He knows they’re twenty-seven. He knows which one is chalk. He knows, now, that someone other than the rain sees his mess and doesn’t open a balcony door.
When the session ends, he pulls his coat on in the hall and checks his phone with fumbling fingers.
The rain is pattering against the window now.
No new messages.
You’re probably in studio. At the barre. At the center. On the floor doing sit-ups you don’t need. Counting reps the way he counts tiles.
He types.
𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚍𝚒𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚝𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚊𝚗 𝚞𝚖𝚋𝚛𝚎𝚕𝚕𝚊 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚢𝚘𝚞?
His thumb trembles.
(he needs to make sure he needs to make sure he needs to make sure you’re not under the rain)
Send
He breathes.
One-two-three-four-five-six-seven.
He thinks of you under an awning somewhere, dry. Thinks of a cheap umbrella clicking open over your head because he asked. Thinks of rain as something that hits rooftops and gutters and pavement, not childhood, not punishment, not skin.
Maybe, one day, he will stand in it by choice.
𝐍𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐢𝐝🩷: 𝚢𝚎𝚜
𝐍𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐢𝐝🩷: 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚐𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚠𝚎𝚝 𝚋𝚢 𝚛𝚊𝚒𝚗 𝚖𝚘𝚜𝚜
𝐍𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐢𝐝🩷: 𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚖𝚒𝚜𝚎
He exhales, finally.
The barre is cold when you grip it.
You are early. You are always early, but today the early feels different because it contains an absence you chose to notice.
The back mirror is dark.
You know the layout of the cleaning room behind it. You know the brand of bleach he stores on the second shelf. You know the schedule of his shifts and which nights he mops counter-clockwise and which nights the pattern reverses. You know all of this because he told you ‘i know everything about you pearl’ and the truth is the surveillance has been bilateral for longer than either of you has admitted.
He is not behind the glass.
You begin your warm-up.
Demi-pliés, both sides. Relevés. Tendus. Your ankles complain from yesterday's extended Ondine practice and you override them by continuing. Your reflection moves in the front mirror—the correct mirror, the one that faces the room, the one that has always been your primary instrument of self-correction.
It looks different today.
The woman in the glass is checking the line of her hip, the turn of her wrist, the angle at which her chin meets the light. But the checking feels less like combat. Less like prosecution. More like—
You adjust your positioning and try again.
The reflection watches you back without flinching, which is normal. What is not normal is that for half a second, between the tendu and the degagé, it looked almost kind.
You blame the yogurt. Or the sleep. Or the fact that a man with blistered fingers texted you a weather report at dawn because he was worried you'd get wet and then had to survive the double meaning you threw at him like a grenade.
You are still smiling.
Stop that.
The corps begins filtering minutes later. Léa first, hair wrapped, compression sleeves on, journal under her arm. She nods at you. You nod back. Manon next, then Mathilde. Camille enters last, chin high, eyes scanning, and you give her your shoulder blade and a fouetté preparation so clean it could cut glass.
The piano begins.
Company class. Barre work. Antoine's cane taps three times against the floor before he speaks, which means someone is about to cry and it won't be you.
"The Ondine rehearsal moves to closed format starting next week," he announces mid-combination. "Full company this morning. Ashworth's note from London was—" He pauses. Adjusts his cane. "Specific."
You know the note.
’Dance it like it matters.’
Catherine Ashworth wrote four words on company letterhead after the video submission and those four words have lived inside your sternum for a week. Not because they were praise. Because they implied that what she saw almost mattered and almost is the most insulting distance in any language.
You almost mattered.
Antoine catches your eye.
You hold it.
He nods once, barely, and moves on to corrections.
That nod is worth more than a standing ovation from anyone else in the room and you both know it.
"Act Two. Surrender sequence from the top. Jean-Paul, places."
Jean-Paul appears at your left. Tall. Reliable. Hands that know where to go because they have been trained to know, the way all good partners' hands know—by instruction, by repetition, by knowing how weight transfers between two bodies that trust each other technically if not in any other way.
He is handsome. You are aware of this the way you are aware that the barre is wooden and the floor is sprung. Fact, not feeling. His jaw is defined. His grip is precise. When he lifts you in the fish dive, his palm sits flat against your ribs with the correct amount of pressure and his timing is faultless.
Nothing happens.
You go through the surrender sequence: the slow développé into his arms, the arched fallback where Ondine gives up her immortality for a man she shouldn't love, the promenade where his hands circle your waist and you are supposed to look like someone who has chosen ruin over safety.
You hit every mark.
Your legs do what they are told. Your arms extend with the right degree of liquid reach. Your port de bras spills over his shoulder on the three-count like water finding the edge of a bowl.
It is correct.
It is not charged.
Madame watches from the second row of seats. She does not speak. She does not need to. Her silence has its own grammar and right now the grammar says: adequate. Disappointing. Two words that mean the same thing in her vocabulary.
Jean-Paul adjusts his grip for the lift. His thumb grazes the underside of your arm. You register warmth, calluses, the faint smell of his cologne—something citrus, clean, forgettable.
You think of chestnuts and vetiver and the way a different set of hands shook so hard they couldn't hold a paper bag.
The comparison is grotesque.
You land the penché with a foot that drags one centimeter too far.
Antoine's cane taps.
"Again."
You go again.
The surrender sequence asks Ondine to dissolve. To become water. To stop being a thing with edges and let the edges go. You have done this a hundred times. You have done it better than anyone in this room has ever done it, including Élodie, whose shoulders dropped when the casting was announced and haven't risen since.
But today the dissolving doesn't take.
You are too present. Too aware of the back mirror, the dark glass, the absence behind it.
Your body keeps arriving at the places where his gaze usually meets you—the peak of the arabesque, the turn of your head on the three-count, the moment in the promenade where your eyes find the back wall and he is supposed to be there, kneeling or standing or pressing his forehead to the cold glass, counting.
He is not there.
Your irritation is present and immediate.
You are not dependent on anyone. You are a self-contained unit of muscle and discipline and you have danced Ondine's surrender seventy times in this studio and the quality of the performance has never once been contingent on whether someone was watching from behind a one-way mirror in a cleaning supply room.
Except.
Except when you performed it Tuesday, with the awareness of his eyes on your spine, the surrender had a different texture. Heavier. Wetter. Like the choreography remembered it was about water.
Madame had leaned forward in her seat.
Madame had said, "Alive."
Madame had not said alive about your Ondine before or since.
The music carries you into the final phrase. Jean-Paul catches you in the cradle lift and your back arches over his forearm and your throat is exposed to the ceiling and all you can think about is the fact that you want Taehyung watching.
You finish the run-through standing center.
Antoine's cane taps. Three times.
"The phrasing in the développé was late by half a beat. Otherwise—" He adjusts his collar. "Otherwise."
Otherwise is almost a compliment. You'll take it.
Madame stands. The room goes quiet the way rooms do when she moves. Her arthritis-gnarled hands fold in front of her waist. Her red lipstick has not moved since dawn.
"Five weeks," she says.
Nobody breathes.
"Five weeks until the first closed run-through. Full company, full technical, full orchestra. Ashworth will receive the recording. Opéra will receive the recording. There will be no mistakes."
She lets the sentence sit.
"The run-through is closed," she continues. "No guests. No family. No partners, friends, or anyone whose presence in the audience might distract from the fact that this is work, not entertainment."
Her eyes pass over the room without stopping on anyone. They do not need to stop. The message is architectural.
"No outsiders."
You adjust the tape on your left ankle.
No outsiders.
Good thing he doesn't need to get in.
Good thing the mirror exists. Good thing the cleaning room schedule can be shifted by a text message and a ’please’ in lowercase and the particular tone of his voice when he's trying to sound casual about something he would die for.
He can watch from the glass, from the place he's always watched, behind the membrane, behind the threshold, kneeling or standing or pressing his ruined hands flat against the surface while you dance the story of a woman who loved a mortal and dissolved.
Rehearsal breaks at 14:00.
You change in the vestiaire alone. Peel the leotard down. Pull on the oversized sweater that smells like studio heat and your own sweat and nothing else, which is wrong, which should be fine, which is fine. You check your phone.
No messages.
You type.
𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚘𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝
𝐌𝐨𝐬𝐬🌊: 𝚘𝚔𝚊𝚢
𝐌𝐨𝐬𝐬🌊: 𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚛𝚎𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚜𝚊𝚕
You look at the screen. At the cursor. At the small blinking line that asks for text the way his whole body asks for permission.
You type the true thing.
𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚒 𝚖𝚒𝚜𝚜𝚎𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞
Send.
The typing indicator does not appear.
One minute. Two. Three. You watch the screen patiently.
Four minutes. Five.
Six.
Your thumb hovers over the keyboard. You almost type ‘moss?’ and then don't, because chasing is not something you do.
Except you just did. The admission is sitting in his phone right now in plain text and he is probably staring at it with those enormous wet eyes and his hands are probably shaking and his brain is probably running the sentence through seven rounds of ‘she doesn't mean it the way you want her to mean it’ before it lets him respond.
Seven minutes.
𝐌𝐨𝐬𝐬🌊: 𝚍𝚘𝚗'𝚝 𝚙𝚑𝚛𝚊𝚜𝚎 𝚒𝚝 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚙𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚎
𝐌𝐨𝐬𝐬🌊: 𝚒𝚝'𝚜 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚗𝚒𝚌𝚎
Your chest compresses.
Not nice.
He can't believe it.
He literally cannot believe that you would miss him the way people miss things that matter.
Your jaw sets.
𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚒 𝚍𝚘𝚗’𝚝 𝚍𝚘 𝚗𝚒𝚌𝚎.
𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚖𝚢 𝚘𝚗𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚎 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚏𝚕𝚊𝚝 𝚝𝚘𝚍𝚊𝚢. 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚒 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚠𝚑𝚢.
Dots. Vanish. Dots. Hold.
𝐌𝐨𝐬𝐬🌊: 𝚋𝚎𝚌𝚊𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝚒 𝚠𝚊𝚜𝚗'𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎?
You can feel the way he typed that. Held breath. Fingers barely touching the screen. The question mark like a hand extended over a cliff edge, testing whether the air will hold.
𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚢𝚎𝚜
Thirty seconds.
𝐌𝐨𝐬𝐬🌊: 𝚙𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚕
𝐌𝐨𝐬𝐬🌊: 𝚙𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚎
𝐌𝐨𝐬𝐬🌊: 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚌𝚊𝚗'𝚝 𝚜𝚊𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚖𝚎
𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚒 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚍𝚒𝚍
𝐌𝐨𝐬𝐬🌊: 𝚒 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠
𝐌𝐨𝐬𝐬🌊: 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝'𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚋𝚕𝚎𝚖
You set the phone face-down on the vestiaire bench. Press both palms to the wood. Inhale through your nose.
Then you pick the phone up again.
𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎 𝚍𝚘𝚎𝚜 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚏𝚝 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚛𝚝
𝐌𝐨𝐬𝐬🌊: 𝟷𝟾𝚑
𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚒'𝚖 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚐
𝐌𝐨𝐬𝐬🌊: 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝
𝐌𝐨𝐬𝐬🌊: 𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚎?
𝐌𝐨𝐬𝐬🌊: 𝚙𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚕 𝚒𝚝'𝚜 𝚍𝚒𝚛𝚝𝚢
𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚐𝚘𝚘𝚍 😇
You stand. Bag over your shoulder. Hair still pinned. Pearl earrings still on. Your reflection in the vestiaire mirror looks like a woman who has somewhere to be and isn't going to explain herself to the glass.
You have a convenience store to visit.
You have a man to collect.
You see Taehyung before he sees you, which is how you prefer most things—the head start, the half-second of unobserved observation, the chance to tabulate a body before it knows it is being read.
He is under the awning of L'Heure Bleue. Newspapers in his arms. The bundle is fat, banded twice with red plastic strapping that bites into his glove at the wrist. He is bent forward at the metal stand, sliding ’Le Parisien’ into the front slot, the corners aligned so precisely you can see the millimeters he negotiates with each copy.
His cap is pulled low. Navy. The same washed-out navy as his work trousers. The shirt under his open jacket is the lighter blue of cleaning-aisle plastic gloves and convenience store uniforms across the entire fifth republic—a blue so generic it forgets itself the moment you look away.
But not on him.
On him, the blue adopts.
His hair is showing under the cap. Ashy-blonde, the color of damp wheat, slightly flattened at the temples where the band has pressed it. He keeps tilting his head a fraction every time the rain shifts on the awning.
His gloves are latex. Powder-blue. The cheap kind from the aisle where the bleach lives.
You stand at the corner.
The umbrella over your head is one you bought on the metro from a man who asked for four euros and accepted three. Unmemorable. You have learned to only remember one man who does small things for you.
The rain is doing what Paris rain does in late December—not falling, exactly. Hovering. The cobblestones glisten. The gutters move. The neon of the sushi place across the street bleeds into the wet asphalt and turns it pink at the edges.
He hasn't seen you yet.
You watch him slide the last paper into the slot.
His hands shake. The set of his shoulders, the way he keeps adjusting the same edge of the same paper, the small twitch at his jaw where his thumb wants to be and isn't.
He lifts the empty plastic strapping. Looks at it. Folds it. Folds it again. Tucks it into the small bin attached to the side of the stand. Even his disposal is folded.
You step off the curb.
The umbrella tilts forward.
He must catch the motion in his peripheral vision—the black edge moving against the gray—because his head comes up sharply, and for one full second his eyes don't recognize you.
Then they do.
His face does the coral.
Not the gentle peach-warmth of the boulangerie. The full coral. The sudden flood that climbs from sternum to ears in three heartbeats. His whole face goes salmon-against-ash and his mouth opens and closes once and his hand—still in the powder-blue glove—lifts a fraction toward his jaw before he remembers the glove and forces the hand back down.
"P—" His voice catches. "Pearl."
You stop just at the edge of the awning. Close enough that the umbrella's spokes graze the drip-line. Close enough that he could reach you in one step. Far enough that he won't.
"Moss."
You watch his throat work. The ash-blonde at his temples darkens where the air has thickened against him.
Your face is doing nothing.
This is intentional.
"Wh—" His tongue trips. "What are you—you're—"
"I told you I was coming."
"I—I thought—"
"You thought I was joking."
He nods. Tiny. Mortified.
"I don't joke about coming to find you, Moss."
His eyes drop. Then come back up.
They land on your mouth. Stay one beat too long.
You see the small involuntary tightening at the corner of his jaw when he realizes you've seen, and the way his gaze skitters sideways to the wet cobblestones rather than meet yours afterwards.
He wants to kiss you.
He has wanted to kiss you since the moment you said his name.
But he will not. Not unless instructed. Not unless permitted. Not unless the world rearranges itself into a configuration where his mouth on yours is something a priest could countersign in triplicate.
You let him stand in it.
The rain whispers against the awning. A car passes. Its tyres make that particular hiss that always sounds, to you, like fabric being torn slowly.
"You're wet," he says.
It's the first complete sentence he manages.
You glance down at your boots. Wet at the toe where the umbrella didn't reach. The hem of your tights—still on under your coat, footless, ankle warmers bunched at the bone—is dark with damp.
"A little."
His breath does something. A small catch you almost don't hear over the awning. His eyes go to the dark patch on your tights and stay there a beat longer than they should, and not in any of the ways you have noticed before. There is no coral chasing this look. There is something paler underneath. Something that pulls his face sideways for half a second, like he's going to be sick.
"You shouldn't—" He stops himself.
You raise one eyebrow.
"Shouldn't what, Moss."
"Be out," he mumbles. "In this."
"In the rain."
He nods, jerky.
"I'm under an umbrella."
"Y-your boots."
"My boots are leather."
"Y-your—" His eyes flicker to the strand of hair that has worked itself loose at the side of your jaw, damp and darkened by the water, and then he flinches away from looking at it. "—your hair."
"It survived rehearsal," you say. "It will survive this."
He looks miserable.
You like him miserable. It is one of the things you have decided about yourself this week—small things, filed quietly, examined never. You like him miserable in this specific register.
The wanting kind. The unable-to-name-what-he-wants kind. The standing-under-an-awning-with-rain-on-his-cap-watching-your-mouth kind.
But this miserable is different.
You can tell.
You don't know yet how, or why, but you can tell.
"I have something for you to do," you say.
His shoulders straighten, the same way a dog's ears prick at the sound of a leash being lifted from a hook. He has spent the entire interaction trying to maintain a body that doesn't betray him, and at the words ’something for you to do,’ the body gives up and confesses.
"Y-yes."
"You haven't asked what."
"I—" He stops. Tries again. "Yes."
"Yes what."
"Yes, I'll—I'll do it."
"You don't know what it is."
"It d-doesn't matter."
You let the sentence sit.
It pools at his feet and he looks down at it like he might apologize to it.
The rain shifts cadence. Faster now. The drips along the awning quicken into a small uneven rhythm. A drop catches at the very edge of the canvas above him and you watch his shoulders flinch a centimeter toward the wall, an old reflex, fast and contained.
You do not pretend not to see it.
But you don't name it either.
"Moss."
"Y-yes."
"Look at me."
He does.
The blue around the brown of his eyes is more visible in this light than it has any right to be. The cap's shadow falls just shy of his nose. He is looking at you like a man trying very hard not to drown out loud.
"I need new elastic tape," you say.
He blinks.
"For my pointe shoes. The ribbons need replacing before the closed rehearsal."
"Y-yes."
"Twelve millimeters. Satin-edge. Not the cotton kind. Not the pre-cut packets."
"Twelve. Satin-edge."
"There's a dance supply shop on Rue du Faubourg Saint-Martin. Repetto's annexe, the small one, not the boutique. They carry it."
"Rue du F-Faubourg Saint-Martin. Repetto's annexe."
He is repeating each instruction back to you in a low voice, the way someone might repeat a prayer they are afraid of mispronouncing. His hands have slipped behind his back. His shoulders have squared. His weight has shifted forward.
He is receiving.
You almost smile.
You don't.
"Buy two metres," you say. "Pale blue if they have it. Cream if they don't. Not white."
"Two metres. Pale blue. Cream if not. Not white."
"Bring it to the academy's side entrance tomorrow afternoon. Between 14:00 and 15:00."
"Tomorrow. Side entrance. Fourteen to fifteen."
"You leave it with the reception desk. You say it's for the Ondine rehearsal."
"Reception. Ondine rehearsal."
"And then, Moss—"
His breath catches.
"—you leave."
His shoulders, which had squared, fold a millimeter back inward.
"You don't look for me. You don't walk past Studio Three. You don't go to the mirror. You don't enter the building beyond the lobby."
"I—"
"You drop it. You tell reception. You leave."
He swallows.
"Y-yes," he manages. "Yes, Pearl."
"Repeat it."
"Drop it. Tell reception. Leave."
"Good."
His ears go from coral to copper in the time it takes you to say the word.
You watch the color climb. You watch his throat work around it. You watch him look—again—at your mouth. He does not know he is doing it. Or he knows and he cannot stop. Either is acceptable to you. Both, in fact, are preferable.
You shift your weight.
The umbrella tilts a centimeter. The motion is small enough that you barely register it. You are about to say something else—something about rationing, something about why he is not allowed to look for you—when the bead forms at the inner edge of the spoke.
You don't even see it form.
He does.
He steps forward—one full step out from under the awning—and his fingers find the rib of your umbrella, the very tip of one spoke, and he tilts the canopy half a centimeter toward you. Toward your shoulder. Toward the part of you the bead would have hit.
The bead falls.
It misses your wrist.
It lands on the back of his glove.
And then, because he has stepped forward, because his cap brim is no longer under the canvas line, because his shoulders are now angled out into the open air, the rain finds him.
A drop hits the navy of his cap.
A drop hits the powder-blue of his glove.
A drop hits the side of his neck where the ash-blonde is sticking, and it slides down past the collar of the convenience-store shirt, and you watch his entire body go rigid.
He doesn't move.
He doesn't breathe.
His hand—the gloved one, the one that just adjusted your umbrella—snaps back to his side so fast it knocks the strapping bin attached to the newspaper stand. The bin rattles. He staggers backward, half a step, the back of his calves hitting the metal frame of the stand, and the whole rack jolts forward an inch with a small wet scrape against the pavement.
The papers shift.
A copy of ‘Le Parisien’ slides from its slot.
He catches it with the wrong hand—the gloved one, the one that has been touched—and his entire face has gone the color of old paper. Not coral. Not copper. The color underneath those colors. The color of someone whose blood has just been called into a meeting somewhere else.
"Moss."
He isn’t listening, or he can’t. He is folding the paper. Or trying to. The crease is wrong. He flattens it. Tries again. His hands are shaking so visibly now you can see the latex of the glove tremble at the wrist.
"Moss."
"S-sorry," he gets out. "Sorry, I—it—I was—"
"Hey."
You step under the awning.
Fully. Both feet. The umbrella tips back over your shoulder and you fold it down with one hand, water shaking off it onto the pavement at your boots. You set the folded umbrella against the metal stand. He flinches at the sound it makes.
"Hey. Look at me."
He doesn't.
He is looking at his glove. At the spot where the rain hit. He is looking at his glove like it has burned him and he is trying not to scream about it.
"Give me your hand."
"I—it—"
"Moss."
He looks up.
His mouth is open very slightly. His breath is too high in his chest, fast and shallow, the kind of breathing you have only ever seen on dancers about to faint at the barre.
"Give me your hand," you say again. Quieter. "Please."
The please does it.
He extends the hand. The gloved one. The one with the rain still beaded on the latex.
You take it gently.
Your fingers close around his wrist first—the part of him that is not the glove, that is not the contamination, that is not whatever has just happened inside his head. Then you slide your other hand up under the cuff of the latex, and you peel, finger by finger. The latex sighs. It comes away with the small wet sound of a vacuum breaking. You drop it on top of the folded umbrella against the stand. Out of his sight. Out of his thought. Gone.
You take that hand in both of yours.
His breath catches.
"Look at me."
He does, eyes wet at the rim.
You turn his palm gently toward your sternum, and you bring your thumb to the back of his hand, and you stroke it. Slow. Once. The pad of your thumb passes from his wrist up over the small bone at the base of his index finger and back down. Your acrylic catches faintly against his skin—a small clean drag, and his breath hitches.
He looks down at your hand and he sees the pale blue of your nail polish.
You watch his face do something you have never seen it do before. The panic doesn't leave. It doesn't have time to leave. But it gets crowded—just for a moment, just for the half-second it takes for him to register the color on your nails—by something else.
Something younger. Something curious. Something so bewildered it almost looks happy.
His eyes lift.
"B-blue?"
His voice is wrecked.
"Mhm."
"Pearl—" He swallows. "It's—"
"It's new."
"You—you got—"
"Mhm."
"For—"
You don't answer that one.
You let him have the silence around it. You let him fill the gap with whatever theory his coral nervous system needs to construct in order to survive the next thirty seconds. You stroke your thumb across his hand once more, the same slow drag, and the acrylic catches and slides and his breath comes out in a long, thin sound that is mostly relief and only a little bit something else.
The shaking begins to quiet.
He is still pale. But his breath has moved down from his throat to somewhere under his collarbone and it is no longer making the small hitching sound it was making thirty seconds ago.
You stroke once more.
His shoulders drop.
He hiccups.
It's small. It's wet. It's involuntary. It's the kind of hiccup that arrives uninvited at the end of a panic that didn't quite land, and the moment it leaves him he looks horrified to have made the sound.
"Th-thank you," he whispers.
His eyes are shiny.
"Th-thank—hic—thank you."
"Shh."
You keep his hand in yours, stroking, slow, the same line, again, again. You can feel him latching onto the color—the fact that it exists, the fact that it is yours, the fact that blue is doing for him right now what blue has always done.
It is adopting.
"Pretty," he whispers.
You don't ask what.
"Mhm."
"Pearl—"
"Don't apologize."
His mouth closes.
You keep stroking for a few minutes as the rain continues its patting against the awning.
Finally, he breathes. Slowly. Slower.
When his shoulders settle the rest of the way, when his pupils have come back to a size that resembles the size pupils are supposed to be, when his hand has stopped trembling under your two and is just resting there, warm and pink and still slightly damp at the wrist where the glove's seal had sweated—you lift your thumb away.
"Moss."
"Y-yes."
"I'm going to walk away now."
His face does something small.
"And tomorrow—"
"Twelve millimeters," he says. "Satin-edge. Pale blue. Two metres. Side entrance. Fourteen to fifteen. Reception. Ondine rehearsal. Leave."
He has not forgotten a single word.
"Good."
His eyes close for one full second.
You bend. Pick up your umbrella. Snap it open.
The black canopy blooms above you with a soft whump and water shakes off the spokes onto the cobblestones. He flinches a millimeter at the motion. You see it. You don't comment.
"Moss."
"Yes."
"Stay under the awning until your shift starts."
"Yes."
"Don't follow me to the corner."
"No."
"Good boy."
He closes his eyes again. Longer this time.
You step back out under the umbrella.
The drips begin their small patient sound on the nylon over your head. The cobblestones glisten. The neon of the sushi place across the street still bleeds pink into the wet at the edge of the curb. Your boots are still damp at the toe.
"Pearl—"
You turn.
He is holding his bare hand very carefully against his chest. Like something that has been given to him on loan.
"Yes, Moss?"
"You—you'll text me. When you—when you're inside."
It isn't a question. It isn't a demand. It is the softest thing he has ever asked you for.
"Yes."
His breath leaves him.
You turn the corner.
You round it at the same pace you arrived at—not faster, because faster would tell him you were affected; not slower, because slower would tell him the same thing in a different language.
Once you are out of his sight line, once the brick of the corner is between his eyes and your face, you let your shoulders drop.
You touch your thumb absently to the back of your other hand, where his pulse had been. The skin there is warm. Your acrylic catches against it the same way it caught against his.
The rain pats against the umbrella.
You don't smile this time.
Something else is happening in your chest, and you don't yet have a word for it.
if you liked this chapter, please consider buying me a coffee!! ♥'ﻌ'♥ https://ko-fi.com/jungkoode
Pairings: Demon!BTS x f!reader, Yoongi x reader (main), everyone x everyone
Summary: You accidentally summon a demon and manage to make him mess up his ritual to get back home. Now you're stuck with a morally grey squad of hell dwellers who take you in and promise to try and bring you back to where you belong. Getting to know them during your warm holiday down south makes it clear though, that you're not the only one in need of help.
Genre: Fluff, smut, reverse harem, comedy, crack, found family, trauma and angst
Fic Warnings: MDNI, explicit sexual content, blasphemy, lots of trauma. See Hell Yeah Masterlist for a full list of genres and warnings!
Chapter Warnings: More frat house energy and cheeky remarks; a guest appearance; we finally get to see the communal showers; we learn more about Joon, Jimin and Yoongi -> trauma dump alert, overall fic warnings in the Hell Yeah Masterpost apply for this chap specifically!
Smut warnings: tender smut bc we need it, lots of kisses and eye contact, soft dirty talk, fingering, PiV
When you slowly come out of your slumber, Tae is still clinging to you like a koala with his usual morning wood poking your hip. You really need to stretch your limbs, feeling all stiff from being in the same position all night, so you stroke his arm to wake him up. He just hums, the caress not making him stir even a tiny bit.
“Tae,” you whisper and shove at his shoulder with gentle force and he finally squirms against you.
“Yeah?” he mumbles all groggy and it comes out sounding more like a groan, his grip around you getting even tighter.
“I gotta get up,” you tell him after checking your phone with your free hand. “And you should too. It’s already time for breakfast.”
“Ugh,” he complains and finally lifts his limbs off your body. “If I have to… In like five minutes.”
Instead of making any efforts to get up, he rolls over on his other side and pulls the blanket with him, leaving you to feel a breeze that reminds you that you’re not wearing anything other than his t-shirt. You get up and start looking for that pesky thong you put on for Yoongi initially, and find it somewhere on the floor between the foot of the bed and Tae’s dresser. While bending down to pick it up, you notice the residual of Taehyung’s handprint on your left ass check when you glance at yourself in the mirror. Looks kind of hot if you're being honest and you stare at the reflection for a moment longer.
After putting on yesterday’s thong, just for the way back to your room, you collect the rest of your stuff and step into the corridor. You can’t wait to change into some more comfortable underwear. You’re walking fast, not really keen on meeting anyone on your super short walk of fame, until you almost bump into Yoongi, who comes out of his door just as you’re passing it.
“Morning,” you say, putting on a bit of a fake smile as you pass him.
“Hi,” he replies, eyes following you on your way. “You sleep well?”
“Mhh, yeah,” you hum without turning towards him. Still a little bitter about yesterday, you stretch your arms above your head to give Yoongi a good idea of how well you slept as Tae’s shirt rises above your hips and reveals your ass, giving him a full view of that handprint as well as the waistband of the thong he hand-picked from your closet but never got to see in action before.
You can hear Yoongi cough, seemingly choking on his own spit, and you chuckle to yourself.
“Are you alright?” you ask, barely containing the entertainment in your voice.
“Oh um,” he mutters, then clears his throat. “Yeah, of course.”
It’s the fastest you’ve ever seen him move at this hour when he walks off as if in a hurry and you finally enter your bedroom.
After getting ready, you head downstairs, joining the others at breakfast. You expected Yoongi to already be there, but scanning the room as you sit down in your spot, the place at the head of the table is vacant. You wince when your ass makes contact with the hard chair and Hobi snickers next to you.
“I guess you found a certain someone to help you out yesterday,” he states with a big fat grin.
Even Joon can’t refrain from dropping a remark. “I’m sure Tae was more fun than Hobi’s pity-fingering would have been.”
Oh god. You totally humiliated yourself in front of the two, begging hem to fuck you and getting declined. Must have repressed that memory.
“Who got pity-fingered?” Jeongguk asks with a raised eyebrow as he walks in with a tray of food.
“No one,” Tae says while sitting down as well. “I finger with my whole heart. You know that.”
“Hell yeah, I know that,” Jimin sighs, propping his cheek up against his hand.
“Yeah,” Joon nods in agreement.
There's the Cullen-esque craziness again. What would a morning in hell even be without it?
“Well,” Jimin speaks up again. “Show us the evidence at least.”
“Of the fingering?” you gasp.
“No silly, of why your ass hurts when you sit down,” he explains. “Or did he just fuck you too rough? I’ve been telling you to tone it down a bit, Tae.”
You should be used to this by now, shouldn’t you? Still, you shake your head while pouring yourself a cup of coffee. “I’m not showing you my ass at the breakfast table, Jimin.”
“That’s not fair, you saw mine last night,” he mumbles, all sad, poking around his food with slumped shoulders. “Maybe at lunch then…”
Before you can reply, a choir of phones buzzing and dinging suddenly goes off. What the hell is happening now? Some kind of demon alarm?
“Chill,” Hobi tells you when he sees the quizzical look on your face. “It’s just the group chat.”
He turns his display towards you.
While the others seem to take Yoongi’s message at face value, Joon looks a little wary about it but then just sighs and pockets his phone again, digging into the food like the rest of them.
After breakfast, Joon's on dish duty again and you offer to help, not without an ulterior motive though. You were hoping to get him alone, a question burning on your tongue.
“Whatever it is, just say it,” Joon begs you after some awkward silence while you tried to figure out how to not put your foot in your mouth once again.
“Um, well,” you sigh. “First of all, I’m super fucking sorry for barging in yesterday and asking Hobi and you to… you know.”
He looks up at you while placing dirty cups in the washer, raising an amused brow before drying his hands. “No worries, the horn from hell got us all acting crazy at some point.”
Incidentally, Joon's already playing around with the golden band on his finger, making your eyes snap to it.
“Oh,” he says as he follows your gaze to his hand, stilling his fidgeting fingers. “About that, huh?”
“You can just say that you’re not interested, you know. It’s no problem, really. I won’t take it personally or anything. But you don’t have to lie about being married. Like, come on,” you chuckle at the last part.
Joon doesn’t find it funny apparently, leaning against the counter with a slightly annoyed expression. “I am married. Why would I lie about that?”
It's your turn to get a little annoyed now as well. Does he think you have the memory of a goldfish?
“Cause I saw you fuck Hobi and I’m pretty sure he’s not the one you’re married to. And from what I'm gathering he’s not the only one you're sleeping with here either. Which is fine of course! But a married man wouldn’t do that, I guess?”
He frowns and it’s obvious he’s trying his best not to scowl at you as he sighs while rubbing his temple. “Ever heard of an open relationship?”
“How couldn’t I, now that I live here with all that polyamory going on?”
“We’re not… That’s something entirely different.”
“Yeah, sure,” you shake your head. “But why would you use marriage as an excuse then? If your relationship is open anyway.”
“First of all, it wasn’t an excuse,” Joon insists and pushes the dishwasher’s door shut with his knee. “The second takes longer to explain, so let’s go sit down in the living room.”
You follow him quietly, eager to finally learn what his secrecy is all about. Hopefully he doesn’t take it the wrong way and thinks you’re prying just because you can’t handle being rejected. It might have accelerated your curiosity though.
You get comfortable on the big couch, legs tucked up on the seat, while Joon is still pacing up and down.
“I hit another sore subject, didn’t I?”
Joon stops, slightly startled as if your voice pulled him out of his thoughts, and finally turns to you. “Yeah, I mean, no. It’s alright. I just haven’t talked about it in a while.”
With a deep sigh he drops down on the cushion next to you. “So, I’m not a liar,” he starts and pulls off the ring, twirling it between his fingers before he holds it up to your face.
There’s a word engraved on the inside, in Hangul, which you can actually decipher thanks to Yoongi’s spell. It’s a name.
“Anna?” you ask.
“Uh huh,” Joon nods. “My wife’s name. She also hated playing chess with me.”
He breathes out a little laugh.
“So she’s still on earth?” you ask carefully.
“Yeah.”
Oh thank god. For a second you thought she might be dead or something.
“So you visit her up there?”
“I do sometimes. Not as often as I’d like to. It’s not easy catching her actually. Especially because I can’t risk her seeing me.”
“Huh?” you ask, utterly confused now. “I would have thought you’d spend the little time you can to stay up there with her. Not watching her from the shadows.”
“I’m trying to figure out how to word this best.” He chews the skin of his lower lip. “She thinks I’m dead.”
“What?” Your eyes widen at this information, eyebrows shooting up. “You let your wife think you died? She must have been devastated!”
Joon nods, not meeting your eyes.
“Why?!”
“Because I want her to live a good life. Not wait for me. For the few hours I can spend up there. She deserves someone she can grow old with. Someone who can love her 24/7.”
That actually makes sense. Of course Joon would have a noble reason to do this to her. A sliver of shame is tugging at your conscience for judging his choices right away.
“I know it’s not great, I know I made her suffer,” Joon keeps explaining himself. “But it would have been worse if she knew I was still alive. I brought enough misery to her life, I couldn’t keep her chained to me through all of… this.” He gestures around himself, even though you didn’t need the clarification, being stuck down here yourself.
“I know I’ve only known you for a little while, but I can’t really imagine you making anyone’s life miserable. Other than with board games, maybe. I doubt that was the issue, right?”
Joon has been nothing but nice and helpful to you from the very beginning and seems to be looking after the other demons with dedication as well, especially Yoongi. You can tell he’s loved and respected, so what in the world could he have done that was so bad?
He huffs a humourless laugh. “Well, I wasn’t who I am now when I landed here. With the addiction and all.”
Oh, right. The addiction probably put a huge strain on their relationship.
“Hm, I guess that would mess with any marriage. But she stayed with you through it all though. That’s really admirable. She must have been so worried for you.”
“Worried sick, actually. I turned her into a shell of herself.”
“So, can I ask, why did you sign your life away to the devil? To cure your addiction?”
“No, to cure hers.”
Oh. Shit. Oh fuck. “Namjoon, I am so-”
“Don’t.” He holds up his hand, motioning for you to stop apologizing. “It’s fine, I can tell you the gist. I got addicted first. Opioids, I think I already told you that. Really easy to obtain as a doctor, you know? It went on for a while, no one noticed at first and I was pretty damn good at hiding it. But Anna knew I was different the minute I entered the house. She didn’t say much after I denied it for a week straight. And then, at the peak of my consumption I noticed tablets missing. Because I always knew exactly how much I had left.”
Joon takes a deep, shaky breath. He stops his knees from bobbing up and down by leaning on them with his elbows and puts his face in his hands for a moment before he sits back up and continues.
“Took a while for me to catch on that she kept taking a few here and there.”
You just gulp and nod, not knowing what to say to everything he just revealed to you. There’s not really anything that can be said to make him feel better.
“Then I started monitoring her consumption,” he goes on, then breathes out a sour laugh with raised brows, shaking his head. “I even slipped her some pills when I noticed she had withdrawal symptoms. Because I knew what it felt like. Like the fucking great doctor I am. Lead her right into addiction and kept it going without ever saying anything.”
This is devastating, you can tell it’s eating Joon up. Probably has for ages now. And he’s not wrong, he shouldn’t have given her more pills, but he was trying to make her feel better in a really fucked up way.
“I know you don’t want to hear this and it doesn’t help,” you turn your body on the couch so you’re fully facing him and put your hand on his shoulder, that has slumped significantly in the course of the past few minutes. “You didn’t exactly do the best thing, but you were struggling yourself. And you didn’t want her to feel sick I guess. It was a really bad situation for both of you.”
He hums, nodding at your words. “I could tell she was getting worse fast, even through my own drug induced haze. And I knew I couldn’t help her, with how fucked up I was myself. I just wished I could undo everything and get her clean without her having to suffer through withdrawals.”
“And then Bang PD appeared?” you ask, guessing it must have been similar to what Taehyung told you.
“Yeah, that bastard can sniff out misery like a truffle pig. Had the contract ready and everything. And I just signed, not really believing it would do anything. Honestly I thought he was a con artist but my mind was so clouded from the opioids and I just hoped it would be an easy way out for Anna. Now I wish I’d done it the right way and sent us both to rehab.”
“I mean yeah, that would’ve been the sensible way, but who would think a deal with the devil actually worked? No one in their right mind.”
“And I definitely wasn’t in my right mind, I can tell you that much,” he says, having composed himself a bit.
“So was Anna immediately cured? And when did you get sucked down to hell?”
“Both happened instantly. Her cure and my arrival here. I couldn’t even think straight and I was alone. Then I got fucked up more and more until Yoongi came. And after he made me go cold turkey and I got a bit of my wits back, weeks had gone by. She must have thought I left her, or overdosed and died in a ditch.” He bites the inside of his cheek, eyes slowly trailing across the wood pattern on the floor. “I failed her in so many ways. And I knew I couldn’t stay up on earth with her for even a day. Back then we all didn’t know about the loopholes, so we thought it was eternity for us down here. And she would have grown old while I’d stay like this. That’s why I faked my death, so I could give her a second chance at actually having a good partner, with me gone.”
The pain in Joon's eyes makes your own threaten to well up. You swallow the tears down, this is not about you and you know it would make him go into care-mode. Instead of letting the sadness get a hold of you, you pull Joon into a quick, reassuring hug, patting his back before retreating again.
“How did you even go about faking your death, with you being stuck here and all?”
Another question you couldn't suppress and might regret asking. But the topic seems to redirect Joon's focus from the devastating memories to a more technical matter. Maybe your big mouth was good for something for once.
“Technically, it wasn't me who orchestrated it. As much as I despise Bang, he has some handy contacts on earth.”
“Are they demons too? No, right, they couldn't work on earth?”
Joon actually laughs now, a sound that feels like balm on a wound after he's been so torn up during the whole conversation.
“Oh, no, they are humans. Some metal head satanists, basically a fan club of our head devils, if you can believe it. They’re called the Department of Southernmost Affairs, but we usually just call it the DSA.”
You snort, of course it would be some wannabe satanists. Although - in this case they are working for the devil.
“They staged a crash with my car, making it look like I was ejected through the windshield. Left my ID in there for the authorities to find. They never found a body, so they started a search. Obviously futile, but they declared me dead after a while when they couldn't locate me.”
It seems like Joon wants to wrap up the conversation, as he’s looking at a new message on his phone.
“Well, to your initial question,” he says. “I’m kinda married, even though she doesn’t know I’m alive. I still miss her and want to go back to her, if she hasn’t found someone new whenever and if I figure out my loophole. That’s why I don’t really hook up with people. Sometimes it happens with the guys, but that’s only when the horn from hell is unbearable and to me it’s more like a physical relief, you know? It’s platonic. And it works ‘cause we are like family. I hope she’ll understand that if I get the chance to ever explain myself to her.”
Before you can reply, the doorbell rings and interrupts you mid thought. It startles you, eyes snapping towards the hallway. Is this Bang PD again? Probably not, he didn’t exactly announce his arrival last time.
“Ah,” Joon says and gets up from the couch. “He’s here.”
Now who the hell is he? You groan at the lack of explanation and curiosity makes you follow Joon to the entrance hall with quick steps, your naked feet pattering along the floor. It’s so warm down here, you rarely even bother to put on shoes now.
Joon pulls open the heavy wooden door, revealing an innocuous looking dude on the other side, another Korean man you assume, wearing glasses and a black bucket hat. He steps in and side-hugs Joon casually. Must be a friend, then?
His face lights up when he spots you behind Joon and puts out his hand.
“Hiya,” he greets you, gripping your hand to shake it. “I’m Tablo. Heard so much about you already!”
“Uh, hi,” you return the greeting, glad to see a friendly face other than the guys.
“What’s with the long faces?” Tablo investigates, looking between Joon and you. The effects of the conversation from earlier must still be visible. “Did ya find out about the weird in-department incest around here?”
Finally, someone that gets you! Your face lights up instantly.
Joon groans. “For fuck’s sake, it’s not incest. How many times do I have to tell you? Pick up a dictionary.”
“Yeah, sure. You know all of hell is talking about it, right?”
Oh. So it’s not the norm to fuck your direct … colleagues? You figured this was the standard procedure somehow.
“So it is kinda weird,” you conclude.
“Hell yeah it is,” Tablo says, making his way to the living room where he throws himself onto the sofa. “No way I’d ever fuck Mithra. But you guys have your own special little arrangement going on, right Joonie?”
“Shut up man,” Joon sighs as he sits down next to your newly found partner in crime and boxes his shoulder. “I don’t even partake… that often.”
“Sure you don’t,” Tablo chuckles, then looks at you. “What did you think about it when you found out?”
“I um,” you clear your throat, still debating if you should sit down with them or leave them to it. “I’ve been telling them that it reminds me of Twilight. They’re like-”
“The Cullens!” Tablo and you say at the same time and you both laugh while Joon dramatically puts a hand over his eyes.
“Not our fault you guys won’t use dating apps like us civilized demons do,” Tablo shrugs. “I gave up trying to hook them up with people at the clubs. Although, Tae and Jeongguk… they’re a little more open to branch out at least.”
“I heard,” you snicker.
Once Tablo and you finally manage to stop laughing, Joon speaks up again.
“Well, guess I can save myself introducing you to each other."
You learn that Tablo is actually not just another random demon, but to your absolute surprise, another Prime Devil, like Bang PD. Joon and him met when the DSA figured out his fake death, because Tablo is actually the hellish contact for the metal heads working there.
“So what’s that department’s job? Can’t only be faking deaths, right?” you inquire about their daily business.
“We didn't really know either until Jin got released back to earth. Honestly, never cared to ask. Apparently they are also really helpful for retired demons. Helped with setting up accounts, finding a home and also providing funds. They also gave me some contacts, so I could hook the boys up with therapists that know about our whole deal down here. No idea what other business they are involved in though, honestly,” Joon gives you his input first.
So even Satan grants his slaves something resembling a union. Very interesting.
Tablo laughs. “My guys are responsible for anything demons need help with up there. I got some real allrounders working there. Real supportive bunch. Even if they look kinda scary.”
That dude is funny and talks even more than Joon, which you figure out in a matter of minutes. If only Bang PD was chill like him, the guys would probably have never gotten into the mess they're all in. You leave them to it after a while, giving the two yappers the space they clearly need. A third person talking would only escalate the conversation. So you walk up to your room, still chuckling about the Twilight references. Hopefully he’ll come by more often.
Back in your room, sprawled out on your bed, scratching Lucy’s little head and not focusing on the movie playing at all, you reflect on what Joon has disclosed to you about his past. You feel a bit guilty for accusing him of lying about being married, but to your defense - with what you’ve witnessed going on down here, anyone would’ve doubted him probably. Especially now that you know that’s not just general demon customs, but specific to them.
It’s good that Yoongi was there to support him when he landed here.
Thinking of Yoongi, you wonder when he’ll be back. Judging by Joon’s reaction to his text, the story about Bang PD’s spontaneous quest might be a ruse. If he keeps that mysterious act up you might as well explode. You should talk to him… Or better yet, he should talk to you! Be the mid-management demon he is and take responsibility instead of hiding away because he’s embarrassed or whatever reason he might pretend to have for how he's behaving.
There’s a knock on your door in the late afternoon, pulling you out of your spiraling thoughts and Hobi peeks his head in with a smile. “Wanna do something fun?”
“Oh god, yes,” you tell him. It’s not like you have anything else going on.
He opens the door and throws a silky fabric your way, it lands on your knee and slithers right off. A bathrobe. Louis Vuitton, obviously. “Well, then get changed and bring your skincare,” he says, shaking his own bag of products. “We’re having a spa day. I’ll wait for you in the hallway.”
Sounds great! Perfect actually, and very much needed. You hurry out of your clothes and throw the robe on, which feels exquisitely soft and delicate on your skin, you have to admit. Then you get the vanity bag with the few things you have down here and make your way to the corridor, tightening the silk belt so that the danger of having a tit fall out of the robe is minimised.
“Are we going to your room?” you ask Hobi.
He just shakes his head with a big grin.
“You're finally going to experience the much talked about communal bathroom downstairs.”
“Ah, the infamous orgy showers?” you only half-joke.
“Don’t worry, there are no suspicious stains,” he chuckles while descending to the ground floor.
You take a turn towards the staircase leading to the basement, walking behind Hobi. His robe is golden brown and silky as well, scattered with tiny Gucci logos. “Since when are you repping a different brand?” you ask.
“Huh? Oh, that’s Jin’s actually. He left it here. Didn’t exactly have time to pack when he got whisked back to earth.”
“Ah.” No wonder he can’t get over him when he’s still surrounded by all his stuff and the memories attached to them.
Hobi catches you looking at him and raises a brow. “What? Would you rather have worn Jin’s robe? I gave you mine, that’s why I’m wearing his.” His words are accompanied by a slight roll of his eyes, so you just nod and say nothing.
“It's a bit plain for you,” you shrug after a few seconds of silence, elbowing Hobi softly and pulling a smile from him.
“I know,” he sighs. “It's so… beige.”
When you reach the door on the far left in the basement, Hobi opens it for you and waves for you to go in. You’re standing in what must be the washroom, rather big, with large, dark tiles on the floor and walls. There’s a bunch of sinks lined up and a continuous mirror that runs along the wall above them. Some toiletries are scattered around. There’s two doors on the other end of the room, both of them ajar. You can see showerheads on the wall behind the left door. That must be the room where it happens.
Averting your eyes, because there's immediately some very explicit scenes playing in your head, you place your bag on one of the counters next to a sink. The room is really clean and there’s fresh, rolled-up towels in a cabinet on the opposing wall, as well as a basket for dirty ones next to it.
“Here,” Hobi catches your attention and throws you something out of his bag. Unfolding it in your hand, you find a terry cloth headband - with cat ears.
“Didn’t see one when I got you your stuff,” he tells you as you slip it over your head and under your hair to pull it out of your face. “Looks cute on you. Keep it.”
You look in the mirror to check yourself out and alright, it does look pretty cute. It’s black, like Lucy’s fur, with some pink on the ear-bits. “Thank you, I love it.”
Hobi smiles, looking at you through the reflection of the mirror. “Okay, let’s cleanse first and then we can sit down and do some sheet masks if you want. I got some new snail mucin ones.”
Hobi taps around on his phone and is apparently connected to speakers that sound from the ceiling, starting a playlist of ambient music, similar to those in massage studios.
“You are a true spa day expert, huh?” you ask while emulsifying some cleansing gel on your cheeks.
“Of course. It’s one of my favorite things to do. Relaxing and gossiping.”
When you dry your face, ready for snail slime to rejuvenate your skin, there’s a sound coming from the room next to the one with the showers, barely audible over the relaxing music.
You meet Hobi’s eyes. “Did you hear that?”
Another sound. This time it sounds like a sob. And some deep, wailing breaths.
Hobi drops the cotton pad he just picked up and rushes towards the backroom without further explanation, so all you can do is follow behind, robes swinging from the fast movement. He pushes open the door fully and barges in, immediately making his way to a big square bathtub nestled in the corner. It’s occupied by Jimin, who’s sitting with his knees pulled to his chest, the water sloshing around him almost flowing over the edge of the tub, covering him up in fresh-smelling bubbles. Choked sobs are breaking from his chest as Hobi gets on his knees next to him, carefully pushing aside a shattered hand mirror on the floor that probably caused the first sound you heard.
“Oh, honey,” Hobi coos and cradles Jimin’s tear-streaked face in his hands. Make-up residue is running down his cheeks, leaving behind some dark smears.
You stay put by the door, unsure if you’re supposed to join them or if Jimin would rather have you leave.
Hobi’s head turns towards you and he says, “Can you get my cleanser and cotton pads please?”
Of course you do, turning on your heels to get the stuff and return, walking up to the tub with cautious steps. Jimin’s body looks even smaller in that huge bath, surrounded by bubbles that hide anything below his waist. He doesn’t seem to mind your presence, although he’s not meeting your eyes, rubbing smudged eyeliner from his cheek when he quietly says, “Hi Ari.”
His sobs are slowly dying down and going softer as Hobi strokes his wet back. “Let’s get your pretty face cleaned up, hm?” he tells Jimin, who just scoffs in response.
“Don’t lie to me, I know exactly what I look like,” Jimin mumbles, voice sounding bitter.
Your eyes widen in disbelief as you hand Hobi a drenched cotton pad. “What? What do you think you look like?”
Jimin finally looks up at you, wet red-rimmed eyes with eyeliner smudged around them and his mouth drawn into a frown.
“Fucking ugly and you all know it,” he spits, voice shaky from another sob rising up his throat. He glances at the broken mirror on the floor and rolls his eyes, apparently recalling looking at his reflection just a minute ago.
His words take you by surprise. Why would he ever think that about himself? Even now in his disheveled, raccoon-eyed state, he’s still more ethereal than anyone you’ve ever seen.
“Who told you that?” you ask and he raises a brow at you.
“None of us,” Hobi lifts his hands in defense. “Like, for fuck’s sake, I used to be so jealous about how pretty he is when we first met down here.”
“Jimin, you need some heavy duty glasses if you think anything about you is even close to ugly,” you shake your head, still unable to grasp the concept of him thinking he doesn’t look like an absolute angel.
He sighs when Hobi lifts his chin and starts to gently remove his make up. “They keep telling me. Joon even forced me to talk to a damn therapist about it, so I guess I’m working on it. Kind of… I just don't see it.”
Hobi brushes a stray strand of blonde behind Jimin’s ear to wipe the cleanser over his cheek.
“How about we all do our skincare here?” you suggest and move to pick up Hobi’s and your toiletry bags from the sinks.
You set them on the floor upon return, Jimin’s face now clean from any make up and his tears have finally stopped rolling.
“Let me get your hair out of your face,” you tell him and sit on the edge of the tub, equipped with some tiny hairbands you fished from between your serums.
You gather the hair from the top of Jimin’s head, separating it into sections and start braiding them against his scalp. Jimin sighs and leans into your touch as you twist the strands around.
“So,” Hobi speaks up from his spot on the floor, gathering some products for his routine. “You wanna tell her why you ended up down here, maybe?”
Jimin sighs once again, a little exasperated. “I guess. I’m already naked, why not strip down emotionally too, huh?”
“You don’t have to,” you assure him, working his hair between your fingers and tying off the ends at the back of his head.
Jimin shrugs and turns to you, reaching for your headband and flicks one of the little cat ears. “Cute.”
He stretches out his legs, unfolding for the first time since you came in here, and stares at his feet as he speaks.
“It’s a short story anyway. Bang PD totally tricked me.”
“How come?” you ask him, playing with the ends of the braids.
“Promised to make me beautiful. Eternal beauty and shit.”
“So, what did you look like before, then?” you carefully ask, pretty sure that Jimin must have had some serious self-esteem issues pre-hell.
He turns his face towards you, eyes narrowed in disbelief. “The exact same. That scammer didn't change a single thing. He lied to me.”
You are absolutely gobsmacked. Of course the devil wouldn’t have to change anything if he already looked like this. And he stopped him from aging, so the promise of eternal beauty wasn't even a lie.
“You were already crazy beautiful then. What did you expect him to do?”
Hobi scoffs from next to you, obviously they’ve been through this conversation before.
“Everyone says that. You wouldn’t get it, Ari,” Jimin says, accompanied by a roll of his eyes. “Even the nickname Hobi came up with proves that.”
“I don't even know what Ari means,” you tell them, looking between the two.
“It means pretty,” Jimin says, then smiles like he just agrees.
“God, Jimin,” Hobi gets up on his knees and pats Jimin’s braided head. “I wish you would see yourself through our eyes just once.”
He rips open the foil of one of the sheet masks and plasters it on Jimin’s face, making sure all the edges are sticking down well, pressing it into his skin with nimble fingers.
When you reach out to take the second mask from Hobi, he pushes your hand away.
“Let me,” he says. “Hard to put on without a mirror.”
The slimy sheet cools your skin immediately as he applies it to your face. Man, what would you do down here without this sweet demon?
After you return the favor, clipping Hobi’s hair away from his forehead and placing the mask on him, he picks up his phone to check himself out in his front camera.
“Good job,” he tells you, as if he was doubting your skill. Pfff.
“Oh!” he exclaims and his eyes light up. “Come here,” he says as he lifts himself up on the edge next to you. “Let’s take a selfie!”
Jimin props his elbows on the side of the tub and puts his face in his hands while you crouch down to fit into the frame. Some of the bubbles get on the sleeve of your robe as you tilt your body and Jimin leans against your thigh.
With a big smile, Hobi clicks a few pictures before deciding he got a good one.
“I’ll send it to Jin,” he mumbles as he types away on his phone while Jimin and you look at each other from the corners of your eyes. Well, you’re not going to comment on this again and apparently, neither will Jimin.
Instead, out of nowhere, Jimin pulls on your arm, catching you by surprise and making you fall backwards into the full tub. Water sloshes over the edges and lands in Hobi’s lap.
You shriek as you very gracelessly land in the warm water, halfway on top of Jimin, who laughs at your flabbergasted face as he moves out from under you.
Hobi is giggling next to the tub as you’re recovering from the surprise attack. You decide to just settle in the bathtub, enjoying the sound of Jimin’s laughter after all those tears, your legs still hanging over the edge out of the water.
“You sneaky little shit,” you chuckle and splash some bubbles his way.
Hobi’s phone dings and you see him perk up. Just a second later his shoulders drop, so you peak over his back to glance at his screen. Oh.
You wiggle yourself out of the tub, soaking wet and plop down on the ground next to him. Jimin also comes back up to the edge on Hobi’s other side.
“What’s going on?” he asks before he catches sight of Jin’s reply. “Shit, sorry Hobi.”
Jin sent back a picture of him and a woman, cheeks pressed together, both smiling brightly into the camera. Must be his girlfriend Hobi told you about.
Wow, this Jin guy is extraordinarily handsome, now it makes sense why Hobi is so hung up on him. His girlfriend is super pretty as well and they look like a happy couple. Unfortunately for your friend.
“Hobi,” you start, not trying to offend him. “I feel like you really need to get over him. Like, why not go to the club? There must be some hot demons around. You deserve someone who’s actually into you. And you know, into men.”
“Ugh,” Jimin sighs. “Why would he even send you that?”
“I might have told him he can, I don’t mind…” Hobi admits. “Just want him to be happy. Let me hold on for a little longer.”
Hobi swallows down his sadness and you continue your skincare routine. The masks come off, serums are applied and slapped into your faces before a final moisturizer is massaged in, concluding your spa day, that didn't turn out the way you expected at all.
You turn around, even though no one asked you to, when Jimin emerges from the bubble bath to be wrapped in a big towel by Hobi. You've seen Jimin naked twice but somehow this feels more intimate than when you walked in on him being fucked or having his ass eaten.
Jimin brings his arms around you from behind and whispers a quiet thanks into your ear before he lets himself be escorted away.
“I'll bring him to his room,” Hobi tells you as they walk out. “See you later, Ari.”
Once alone, you strip out of your wet robe, wringing it out over the emptying tub. Without anything else available to wear, you begrudgingly put the moist silk back on and it immediately clings to every curve of your body. Eugh. Should've dunked Jimin for dragging you into the water.
With your stuff tucked under your arm, you traipse back to the upper floor, adjusting the damp robe every few steps as it keeps riding up from sticking to you. You are happy the guys are warming up to you, even trusting you enough to speak so honestly about themselves. That's why you're smiling to yourself as you reach the corridor that houses all the bedrooms.
Yoongi’s there, walking towards his room as well and he notices you approaching. He turns around and his eyes immediately snap to Hobi’s damn satin robe that’s hiding next to nothing in its current state. Yoongi scans you up and down with an expression that almost makes you laugh. He blinks, like twenty times, then swallows down an apparent lump in his throat while his hand is gripping the doorhandle to his room. The only thing missing is his mouth dropping open and his eyes barging out of his head like in some stupid comic book. He’s probably too tired for facial gymnastics like that, he looks exhausted actually. Whatever he’s been doing all day must have totally wrung him out.
“Are you following me or something?” you ask, even though it was you entering the corridor after him.
“What?” he asks, fidgeting with the door handle. “No!”
“Relax, I’m just joking.”
“Oh.” He clears his throat. Again. And he can’t seem to take his eyes off your tits. Charming. “You’re… Uh. Why are you… wet?”
“I went down to the basement to have a spa day with Hobi,” you explain. “Jimin was there too and ended up pulling me into the bathtub.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah.”
There’s an uncomfortable moment of silence in which he tries his hardest to look into your eyes.
“It was funny though,” you go on, just to make it less awkward. “We all needed a little mood booster.”
“Did you now?”
“Yeah,” you say. Then you heave a long sigh. “Maybe we should talk? About the past couple of days? Like adults, you know. Who communicate.”
He takes the blow with grace, nodding along. So apparently he knows that he deserved the snide remark.
“Wanna come to my room to talk?” he offers and cocks his head towards his door that he has now opened.
Theoretically, you could change into something dry first. But you like to see him struggle to keep his eyes off your body. If that's what it takes for him to talk, so be it. He deserves a little torture after giving you the cold shoulder for two days.
He lets you move past him into the room first and as you pass him, a waft of cold cigarette smoke hits your nose.
“Didn't know you smoke,” you say, scrunching up your face at the smell.
“Oh, sorry,” he shrugs. “I'll change real quick.”
Yoongi closes the door behind himself and pulls his shirt over his head while you take a seat on his bed, watching him undress. The sight is threatening to melt your resolve. Damn it, now you’re staring, not the other way around, as you intended.
You're busy watching his back muscles contract as he's plucking a fresh shirt from his closet and don't realize he has turned his head towards you, catching you mid-thirst. The smug look on his face doesn't last long, because you cross your legs which makes the robe ride up your thigh dangerously high.
Staring directly at it, he walks over and sits down next to you. Silence again. You wait for him to speak, since you've already been forthcoming and made the first step.
“So…” Yoongi draws out the word, eyes trailing across his bed, where your vanity bag sits next to your hip. “What you got there?”
Really? Jesus Christ… “Skin care, since we did the spa day thing, like I said.”
“Ah,” he inspects your face a little closer, bringing the back of his hand towards your cheek and tenderly runs his knuckles across it. “Your skin does look nice.”
“Thanks,” you say, eyes downturned from all the blood rushing to your head. “Yours looks a little dry actually.”
You open up your bag and pull out the remaining stuff. “You want a spa day treatment too?”
“Okay,” he says and turns towards you.
At least that's better than stewing in this awkwardness. You take the headband Hobi gifted you and pull it over Yoongi’s head, making him grumble in discontent. “What’s that?”
“Headband, to get your hair out of the way,” you tell him while pulling it in place. You grab your phone from the vanity bag and snap a picture of him, with a cute but dumbfounded expression, dressed in terry cloth cat ears, then turn the screen for him to see. Too bad you're not in that group chat.
He exhales a laugh when checking it out, before you put some cleanser on a cotton pad.
“Well?” you go on, wiping it across his forehead. “Got nothing to say?”
He's a fool if he thinks you're letting him off that easily.
Yoongi closes his eyes and leans his head against the headboard as you finish cleansing his face, making sure you don’t use too much force while going over his scar.
“I should, shouldn’t I?” he sighs. “Should have done so yesterday morning probably.”
“Probably, yeah.”
“‘m sorry,” he then says. “I know I shouldn’t have left you in here in the morning and then I behaved like a ginormous asshole all day.”
“You did, yes,” you tell him, swiping the pad along his jawline a little harsher than before. “You should apologize to Joon too, actually.”
“I know. I got embarrassed. Of how you saw me. And when I felt better it kinda hit me. I was in here all pathetic and sweaty and miserable. Made a fool of myself by begging you to stay. It was just… super humiliating.”
“I didn’t think you were pathetic,” you say while pocketing the cotton pad and grabbing a different bottle. “A little sweaty maybe yes, but it’s hot down here, so who cares?”
Yoongi breathes out an appreciative laugh and lets you put some serum onto his cheeks and forehead with a dropper. “Well yes. I wasn’t really thinking rationally, you know?”
“I figured. Rationally enough to fuck Jimin though,” you comment and start slapping the product into his skin like Hobi showed you. Maybe with a bit more force than necessary.
“Did that upset you?” he asks as you keep slapping some sense into him, hopefully.
“I mean, you said we both could do what we want when we talked about it and that’s still fine for me. It was just a little harsh to see after I stayed with you and you decided to ignore me all day for no reason, you know?”
“Mhm,” he hums. “‘That why you fucked Tae then?”
That pulls a laugh from you. “I wanted to fuck you, initially, if you really want to know.”
“Even put on that pretty thong for me.”
“Yeah, well. Too bad you were occupied, I guess.”
He chuckles, shoulders bobbing. “Bet Tae didn’t even appreciate it.”
“Oh, I wouldn’t say that. Pulled it off me with his teeth.”
Yoongi sucks in his bottom lip and bites down hard. “I had it coming, I guess.”
“I guess so.”
“I’m sorry,” he then says, finally looking at you. “I fucked up and acted like a dumbass teenager. You didn’t deserve that after helping me push through.”
“And after making the infamous healing lasagna,” you add.
“Obviously, how could I forget that? It was great.”
“I know, but thank you.” You give his cheek one last slap for good measure and rummage for the moisturizer. “Well, talk next time instead of hiding. Okay?”
Yoongi nods. “Yeah, alright.”
To conclude the debrief, you dig for a big glob of cream with your pointer finger and put it directly onto the tip of Yoongi’s nose to which he scrunches up his face with a pout. He looks so cute, you could melt, so to prevent that you hurry to spread the lotion evenly across his face. While going over his forehead, his eye twitches when you pass the upper end of the scar there.
“Oh, sorry,” you whisper, now making sure to move more carefully. The scar looks healed, not fresh at all and you wonder why he never used his powers to get rid of it. “Does it still hurt?”
“Nah, not really,” he tells you. “It’s just sensitive sometimes.”
You run the pad of your thumb down from the uppermost end gently, touching the tender skin of his closed eye on your way and making it twitch again before tracing the remaining part of the indented area down his cheek.
“Can I ask?” you brave yourself with your hand still cupping his face. “Who did this to you?”
He huffs a laugh through his nose, leaning into your touch a little. “I did.”
“Oh,” you murmur, not sure what else to say while your thumb sways back and forth across the skin like you could make it disappear. “Why?”
“You’ve figured out by now that I’m pretty fucked up, right?” he says with a self-deprecating chuckle.
“Everyone here is. Me included.”
“Some more than others, I feel like,” he says before taking your hand from his cheek into his. He brings the tips of your fingers to his lips and kisses them once, making you suck in a breath. “I don’t know why I did it. I just know how I felt. Fucking miserable all the time.”
This is the second time he tells you that he doesn’t remember things from his past. First the guitar, now why he cut himself. “Why are there so many gaps in your memory?”
“That was my wish for the devil. Why I signed my contract,” he explains. “Wanted him to
erase a memory. I don’t know what it’s about obviously but apparently it drove me to slice up my own face, so…”
Shit, that must have been so deeply traumatising, you feel your eyes well up at the mere thought. “Jesus, Yoongi,” you whisper as you bring your hand to his cheek again. “I’m so sorry.”
“It’s alright,” he shrugs. “Can’t remember it now anyway. But it must have been something really bad if I’m still this messed up in the head. Probably better that I don’t remember, even if Joon disagrees.”
“You think your episodes are caused by whatever it was, trying to come back up?”
“Not really, no. I think my body still remembers even when my brain doesn’t. There’s always this deep pain that I can’t place or pin-point to anything. It’s just… there.”
“That’s horrible.”
“I’ll survive,” he reassures you, patting your hand on his face. “Don’t really have a choice.”
“You better,” you say with a stern voice.
It makes him laugh and he pulls off the cat headband, shaking his head, fingers running through his hair and combing them out of his face again. “God, you’re turning me into a fucking softie…”
“You say that like it’s a bad thing.”
Yoongi looks at you, eyes narrowing, like there’s a question forming behind his eyes. Then his gaze trails down to your shoulders, which are still covered in damp silk that’s making you go cold at this point and he notices the slight shiver.
“You’re cold,” he concludes, pulling you in by your hand.
“It’s fine,” you tell him but let him guide you into his lap anyway.
Settling there, you rest your hands on his shoulders while he holds you close by your waist. His body heat immediately seeps into you, making you sigh.
“Better?” he asks, a smirk dancing across his lips and your gaze locks onto them, even when you scoff and shove at his shoulder.
Yoongi pulls you closer, the arm around you tightening and your chest bumps against his, faces only an inch apart.
Before you close the last bit of distance, you say, “I know I said I don’t want it nice, before. But today, I do. Is that okay?”
He looks up at you with big eyes, studying your features closely and nods. His arm leaves your waist and he brings his hand to the back of your head, pulling your face towards his.
The kiss is slow and gentle, just like you asked, lips brushing delicately against yours once. He pulls back to look at you again, as if to check if it was soft enough, making you smile. You lean back in, locking your lips with his and breathe out another sigh when his tongue presses against yours. Your fingers tighten on his shoulders when he licks into your mouth with slow and deep strokes, his breathing quickening as well.
When you pull back for air, light-headed from his kisses, there’s a tiny smirk on his face before he asks, “You’re soft too under that tough shell, huh?”
Rolling your eyes at him, accompanied by a giggle, you shrug. “Maybe sometimes.” You reach out for his face, holding it between both your hands and place a kiss on the scarred cheek. His breath falters when your lips make contact with the red mark and his lids flutter shut for a moment before he looks at you again with a smile playing on his lips.
Yoongi lies back on the mattress, pulling you down with him and you move your legs to straddle him, still dressed in nothing but the damp robe. The only thing separating you is the fabric of his sweatpants. Leaning down, you bring your lips to his again while his hands rest on your hips.
It’s you who's taking the lead now, tongue sliding slowly against his with your fingers brushing through his hair. The faint smell of cigarettes lingers in the room and you can still taste the traces of them when your mouths glide against each other. Strangely enough, it's a comforting sensation, but also makes your head spin and need grow in your chest. When your hips grind against him like they have a mind of their own, you feel how hard he is already. Shit. The contact makes you shiver, bare pussy rubbing against his clothed erection one more time.
Yoongi groans into your mouth and you lift your head off of him, having him follow your face for an inch. He opens his eyes, looking up at you, then squints while reaching out, thumbs slipping beneath the lapels of your robe. “Let’s take that wet thing off before you freeze to death, huh?”
And they say chivalry is dead. He slides it off your shoulders so it hangs at your waist, where the belt is still firmly tied. You reach for the knot but Yoongi beats you to it, quickly untying it before throwing the thing aside. He pulls his shirt off too, staying upright with you still sitting in his lap, then traces the cool skin of your arms with the backs of his fingers, making you erupt in goosebumps. His eyes wander down your body, pupils blown and hands itching to touch more of you.
“Beautiful,” he mumbles to himself, suddenly lifting you and turning you over, so you’re on your back, head resting on a pillow with him above you. He reaches for a blanket at the foot of his bed and pulls it over himself so it’s covering you both. The immediate warmth spreads pleasantly across your skin and beckons you to get comfortable as you sink deeper into the cushions.
His mouth is on you again, kissing your lips, then down your jaw and neck while his hands run up your sides and push your breasts together with a light squeeze. Hot breath fans across your collarbone before he kisses his way down, his tongue darting out every now and then, leaving wet spots all across your chest and down towards the peaks of your tits. He hovers above your left nipple, circling it with his tongue. When he lowers his head and sucks it into his mouth, he looks up at you and keeps swirling the wet muscle over your nub. Your hand lands in his hair with your breath hitched and he rolls the other one between his thumb and pointer finger before moving his head to repeat the action, eyes not leaving yours.
“Shit Yoongi,” you whimper, fingers still tangled in dark strands.
He grins when he pulls away from your chest. “You like that?”
You only nod, mouth hanging ajar and he chuckles, then sucks on your tit again, apparently to make a point. His hand trails down your body, then between your thighs and he’s looking into your eyes again, lips parted when the pads of his fingers brush over your labia. His middle finger parts your folds and the two of you gasp at the same time, you from the contact and Yoongi clearly taken aback by how wet you are for him. Two fingers, drawn languidly, gather up your slick and spread it upwards to your clit, where they press down slightly and begin to draw loose circles.
Your eyes threaten to roll back into your head from the way you are touched but you force them to stay on him, not wanting to miss the way his face scrunches up with every sound that leaves you. Reaching out your own hand, you move to palm him over his sweats, moaning when you feel his hard length beneath the fabric. Yoongi has other plans though and grabs your wrist to pull you off of him. He pins your hand down next to your face and leans in, kissing you deeply while his other hand still plays with your pussy. Sharp breaths clash against his skin anytime you breathe out another whine through your nose when he brushes over you in that way.
You almost yelp when he slows down but decide to stay silent as he pulls his head back at the same time. Yoongi eyes you like a hawk when his hand moves further down and his middle finger pushes into you slowly. He watches your face contort, your eyebrows raised in pleasure as he eases into you without much force and starts moving back and forth in a gradual rhythm.
“Feels good?” he asks and you almost scoff because clearly, there’s no need to confirm.
“Yes,” you nod, helplessly squirming under him, hip twitching involuntarily when he curls his digit just right. “Please give me more.”
Yoongi chuckles, lowering his head to put some kisses on the side of your neck but makes sure to pull back and watch you closely when he slides a second finger inside. His jaw hangs slack with his lips agape and he groans quietly when squelching sounds fill the room, his hand unrelenting, fingers curling and his thumb finally pressing against your clit.
“Fuck,” you moan, eyes actually rolling back now. “Just like that, Yoongi, please.”
“Yeah?” He sounds proud now. “You getting close? You want to come on my fingers?”
“Uh huh,” you nod, head hitting the pillow hard after the fact. “Yeah, I wanna come.”
He brings his other hand downwards, replacing his thumb to draw quicker circles, his moves now more precise. Still pumping in and out, he twists his wrist and the motion sends tingles up your spine and down to your toes, making you cry out over the electric feeling.
“Shit, I’m so fucking close,” you tell him with laboured breath. “Making me feel so good.”
Yoongi grins, eyes still on you like nails drawn to a magnet, with his chest puffed. “Better than Tae?”
What? You must have misheard him but it doesn’t matter now as the high clashes against your shore, pulling you into the depths of an overwhelming orgasm that rattles and thrums through your every muscle. “God, yes. Fuck!”
Your eyes squeeze shut as the pleasure peaks, pulsing thickly from your core and making you see stars. Lungs burning, you heave heavy breaths and your nails dig into his arm, fingers almost cramping up from how hard you hold on. You release him when your upper body curls, legs locking his hand between them and your face lands in the crook of his neck, weakening exhales fanning across the skin of his back.
Falling back into the pillow when Yoongi slows to a stop, he leans over you and places a kiss to the tip of your nose, that almost makes you deflate and melt into a puddle. His fingers ease out of you, palm moving to cup your pussy, like he wants to feel how long you’ll throb for. Which might be for an eternity if he keeps looking at you like that.
He carefully pushes a sweaty strand of hair from your forehead, giving you another once over. “Are you good to keep going, or should we stop?”
“‘m good,” you pant, wiping the residual drops of sweat from your temple.
“You sure? It’s fine if you’re not.”
“Nooo,” you draw out the word like a whiny kid and frown. “What about you?”
Yoongi doesn’t stop you from pushing down his sweats and boxers, both bunching up by his knees. He slips out of them laughing and shakes his head. “Well, who could say no to you?”
He comes back closer on his knees, his neglected erection still evident, tip glistening in a deeper shade than usual from how badly it craves to be touched. That can't happen on your watch, not after how hard he made you come so you reach out and immediately wrap your fingers around him for a slow pump, making Yoongi’s eyes fall shut.
“Easy,” he breathes out with a grin as you twist your wrist on the next stroke, pulling him closer with your legs around his hips.
“Need you inside of me,” you counter and he grits out a curse when you angle his tip to your core.
His hips push forward, complying with your plea and making you loosen your grip around him, now only guiding him inside with the tips of your fingers. A groan rattles through the room when he feels you around him, Yoongi’s head dipping down to kiss you. His tongue slides against yours harsher now, more urgent and he sucks on your lower lip when he bottoms out.
You feel so full, pussy stretching around him when he pulls his head back and stares into your eyes as he starts moving. Moans are pushed out of you with every slow thrust which increase in force one by one and the movement makes his hair fall into his face. You reach out, attempting to brush the dark locks behind his ear but he bends down for another kiss, apparently not getting enough of that today. Lips slotting with yours, his hair is now pushed against your forehead, tickling you while his right hand reaches for your tit, squeezing it as his hips keep snapping against yours.
“You feel like heaven,” he mumbles against your mouth, picking up his speed.
For once, you are lost for words, having him whisper those sweet nothings to you while pounding into you so deliciously, so you decide to say nothing, letting your sighs speak instead. Yoongi watches you with an open mouth, his thumb tracing your lower lip before his hand is placed against your cheek. The tips of his fingers brush over your skin in delicate strokes, barely touching.
“I’m close,” he warns, slowing down on purpose as he leans back, his torso now upright. He grabs your ankle and moves your right leg to rest upon his shoulder, hands now at both sides of your hips, pushing your other leg sideways.
His thumb finds your clit again, stroking it in fast circles as he desperately tries to hold off his own orgasm. He’s concentrating too much on you, making you worry he’ll ruin his own high, so you push his hand away. “It’s fine, just let go.”
“Nah, want to make you come,” he insists, hand wandering back between your legs, but you’ve already set your mind to it and whisk it away, entwining your fingers with his.
“You already did,” you tell him and suck in a breath at the particular motion of his groin against yours. “Come on Yoongi, come for me.”
He stares at your entangled hands, then into your eyes, hips stuttering while he begrudgingly admits to himself that he’s fighting a losing battle. He picks up his speed with a frown, making you chuckle. Stubborn…
Tightening the hold on his hand, you pull him closer, your leg sliding off his shoulder. “Feels so good how you fuck me,” you whisper, only crumbling his composure further. “Want you to come inside of me.”
Yoongi’s head is beet red now, eyes scrunched together and hips having developed a will of their own as he’s fucking into you like his life depends on it. “You’re gonna make me fucking explode,” he presses out through gritted teeth.
Yeah, that’s the goal. You smile, pulling him in by the cheek for another kiss. This one’s messy now that he’s losing control, tongue pushing against yours hungrily, his breaths coming out harsher with every second that passes. He’s grinding into you deep, skin slapping against skin and the force knocks the air out of your lungs with each stroke.
He can’t hold back any longer, it’s evident by the stutter of his hips and he moans into your mouth when you feel him twitch inside of you. He grinds into you hard when he comes, voice breaking with his tongue inside your mouth and pushes in deeper with every spurt of cum he releases.
Yoongi exhales another broken moan when he pulls his head back, pushing into you as hard as your bodies allow with his chest heaving before he lays his head down into the crook of your neck, gasping into the pillow. When his breathing begins to even out you feel him laugh against you, his hair tickling your skin again with the slight tremble. It makes you chuckle too, shaking your head at yourself for being so blissed out while he slowly rolls off of you.
After a moment of gathering your senses, you sigh, readying yourself to get up. “I’ll go to the toilet really quick.”
Yoongi’s hand reaches for you blindly, his other arm currently covering his eyes as he recovers. “Stay for a minute, yeah?” he mumbles.
With a big exhale you comply, turning on to your stomach, cuddling into his side in the process. Yoongi props himself up on one elbow and lets his fingers run along the line of your spine. Once he reaches the curve of your ass, his movement suddenly halts and a disgruntled noise makes you turn your head towards him.
“Hm?” you ask, worn out and tired.
He clicks his tongue, nodding his head toward your ass while lightly squeezing your cheek, right where Tae’s handprint from yesterday is still visible. “You’re bruised.”
“Ah. I already forgot about that. It doesn't hurt anymore.”
“Still don't like it,” he mutters, placing his palm over the skin and swiftly healing it. Another souvenir lost then.
You breathe a laugh into the bend of your arm, rolling your eyes at him while moving your hip from side to side to make your ass jiggle in his face. “You’re not jealous, are you? That it wasn’t your hand.”
“Psh,” Yoongi shrugs, circling your aided cheek with his palm once more. “Not really the type for it. Just don’t like bruises, that’s all.”
“Alright.” There’s a question forming in your head after that tender fuck you just shared. He said it himself, everyone’s an adult here, so it shouldn’t be a problem to straight up ask, right? This house doesn’t need more drama and with everyone being horny most hours of the day, it’s better to address it before someone gets hurt. “Just so we’re on the same page. We’re still cool, right?”
“Yeah?” he says it like he doesn’t know what you mean.
“Casual, I mean,” you explain. “Because this was… different than usual.”
“Oh. Yeah, ‘f course.”
“Good,” you say while turning to your back, placing a peck on his temple when you pass him. “I’ll be right back.”
You traipse away to the bathroom, clenching your thighs which makes you waddle slightly.
When you return, Yoongi’s still chilling on the bed, hands behind his head, looking up at the ceiling with droopy eyelids as if lost in thought. He already looked tired when you met him in the hallway, he must be fully exhausted now. The blanket is draped halfway over his body, one naked leg sticking out the side, and he yawns when you walk over.
“Long day, huh?” you ask and sit on the edge of the mattress on his side. You let your finger trail over his exposed thigh while you wait for him to disclose information about what he’s been up to all day. To no avail, as he just hums in response.
“I don’t wanna be nosy,” you begin. “But I don’t think anyone really bought your Bang PD excuse this morning. So, where have you actually been?”
The right side of his lip curls into a smirk before he looks at you. “How’d you even know about the Bang excuse? Hobi told you, didn't he?”
You nod, biting the inside of your lip for inevitably telling on him.
“I was out. Had some stuff I needed to check off my list.”
“Wow, really feels like I was there with you,” you tease him for his lackluster storytime.
He rolls his eyes and chuckles, hands still placed behind his head. “I was planning to show you tomorrow. Sound good?”
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A/n: Hope you enjoyed and it could take your mind off things a bit.. Let us know what you think about all the revelations! Interaction in any form is highly appreciated, we'd be so happy to receive your feedback and if you're shy, feel free to send us an anonymous ask.