i ♡ fagemo

☆d☆ | he/they | 25 | Treaty 1

[itwasyouinthedark]

winnipeg, mb

[lavenderprose]

Shane also needs to interact with other gay men just to understand how truly lucky he is. He needs to hear someone go off about going on Grindr to find a top for the night and then finding out that all of the guys who have the 'Hung' tag on their profile are packing like five and a half inches at MOST and then Shane has to be like "Oh that. Yeah that sounds rough." Meanwhile he lost his anal virginity to a knockout with model looks who works out for a living and started their relationship by jerking his enormous hog at him in a communal shower which has always been one of Shane's top five fantasies. And he's literally never had to be on The Apps because he's the bottom of all time actually and the DomTop with the enormous dick imprinted on him like a fucking duckling the first time Shane came untouched under him which was, I cannot stress this enough, when he LOST HIS VIRGINITY.

Like shut the fuck up Shane Hollander how does it feel to be the chosen one. He has to confront all of this because he needs to know that he has, once again, won at life in every meaningful way. And then he can sit there like :] while that sad bottom over there bemoans the Grindr biome.

[itwasyouinthedark]

armstrong lake, ON

[eugeniedanglars]

i've said before that i think in 2024 one of the younger cens players (picking a name at random and saying holmberg) makes shane and ilya listen to chappell roan and they take unfathomable psychic damage from good luck babe and casual while flashing back to their situationship era, but to get even more specific about it:

i think holmberg starts them off with good luck babe since it's her big breakthrough hit and ilya is like "hm. so this is a song about being in a relationship with someone who's in denial about being gay? and they won't admit to the relationship because of it? interesting" while staring directly at shane who is making very determined eye contact with the floor.

and holmberg (clueless) is like "yeah she writes a lot of situationship anthems actually!" and puts on casual.

which allows shane to pull an instant uno reverse card and stare daggers into the side of ilya's head while going "wow, imagine what it would be like to spend years sleeping with someone who sends really confusing mixed signals by saying that what you have is casual but then treating you like it's not casual at all. that would suck."

anyway chappell roan gets banned from the cens locker room playlist out of fear of causing their captain and alternate to divorce. they make an exception for pink pony club though because they are the pink (red) pony (centaur) club

[heateron]

lorde, 2025.

[watersunshine]

LORDE - VIRGIN (2025)

[itwasyouinthedark]

winnipeg beach, mb and the half moon drive in, lockport mb

april 5, 2026

[itwasyouinthedark]

i'm seeing lorde in less than a month. over 10 years of listening and i'm finally seeing a tour 🩻🧬⛓️

[lordesribs]

I started to smoke weed, which gave me a deeper understanding of sensory pleasure, and allowed me to start to see my world as a possible work of art. I’d go on long walks around the neighbourhood, and began to mythologise the stuff around me (big empty floodlit rugby fields/bus rides/dark streets/boredom/isolation) into the motifs that would become Pure Heroine. I wore a lot of like, navy lipsticks from the 2 dollar shop. God, this aesthetic, It’s just TOO MUCH.

-Lorde in newsletter sent 27.09.2023

[itwasyouinthedark]

the sun of the sea

a child of the sea but she is the sun the centre of the universe life itself depends on her existence

and her existence is glorious. magnificent. she is radiant.

and if you are so lucky to ever see her remind her of her beauty tell her what you see how you feel

and if you are so fortunate to enter her life remind her what she means tell her who she is to you tell her she is the sun for she is the sun indeed

but a child of the sea she has great depths she carries the weight of the world so powerful resilient willing

she is a goddess amongst mere mortals and dearest mortals, i beg you please, do not let her forget her worth

-

(for @calico-skiess 2020)

[itwasyouinthedark]

i’ve reached a point in my existence where i even think of lorde and i just start crying.

[noburden]

“In my friend, I find a second self.”

c.s. lewis / my best friend by the coral / @slugspoon (alivia horsley) / @billypotts / hanya yanagihara / ‘after party ll’ salman toor / the kids aren’t alright by fall out boy / a summer’s tale / lorde / hanya yanagihara / abed and troy (community) with a winnie the pooh quote @weelezzer / isabel norton

[bubblesinside]

can i hold ur hand <333

always and forever my love <333

this is so much better than the asks i was receiving at 15

[itwasyouinthedark]

love in warm places

[lordemusic]

Winter

[itwasyouinthedark]

hypomania

hypomania definition a mood state characterized by persistent disinhibition and mood elevation (euphoria), with behavior that is noticeably different from the person's typical behavior when in a non-depressed state mania without the psychosis symptom of depression all the times i go batshit insane

every spring march april or may the sun comes out, the weather warms up, the snow melts away and i lose my fucking mind

i'm a bottomless pit of energy and restlessness obsessed with myself, feelings of grandiosity distractibility i have to get out of the house i need to move i need to run i need to scream it's a chaotic peace

a brief pause from the emptiness lonliness sadness i almost feel normal again almost

i love the mania it's pretty to me it makes me feel alive and important and funny and royal like i have a reason to be it makes me impulsive reckless careless only interested in what will keep me higher, higher, higher

the crash is horrific sinking, feeling like the earth will swallow me whole panic crisis fear

is it worth it is it worth sticking around only for the short burts of joy is that enough to sustain me do i want it to do i want to heal or will i stay clinging to my

hypomania definition a mood state characterized by persistent disinhibition and mood elevation (euphoria), with behavior that is noticeably different from the person's typical behavior when in a non-depressed state

[itwasyouinthedark]

i hate the headlines and the weather / i hate the winter can’t stand the cold

i keep thinking about "i hate the headlines and the weather" and "i hate the winter can't stand the cold" and just. the politik??? 

i hate the headlines and the weather is politically charged and exists in the suffocating heat of new york city in the summertime during a horrific political atmosphere. i hate the winter can't stand the cold feels less outwardly politically charged but i like to see it as partially a commentary on the "grind" in winter when people only leave their house to work kind of thing and being so emotionally exhausted (i tend to cancel all the plans) and it also feels like it's just a description of SAD which i think all people who live very far north or south experience to some degree. but i think it's exceptionally interesting to see the contrast of "i hate the headlines and the weather i'm 19 and i'm on fire" and "but when the heat comes something takes a hold can i kick it yeah i can". that line in perfect places comes from a place of emotional intensity and being worn out, whereas solar power is so calm and relaxed. can i kick it? yeah i can. i feel like it maybe speaks to lorde's social media hiatus/general break from technology and i feel like it could serve as a gentle reminder to log the fuck off