Sorry to my followers, just me rambling about life in a big post, so just keep scrolling lol.
I haven’t post something personal in a long time..
Maybe because I have some free time before I pull all nighters studying for finals again..and because I finally have the chance to think about something, other than school for once.
I had a major epiphany at like 4-5AM a couple of nights ago, and pretty much reflect what the fuck my life has been going. Its pretty depressing lol.
I just realized how much sleep I get these days and its insane how my body has adjusted to function with 0-4 hours of sleep a day or two.
The end of 2014 was rough because of my friend from ECU passed away on Christmas day from a fatal car crash. Going to multiple funerals starts to hit you like a truck when you finally go to someone you actually know and talked to recently. Because of this, I started to live a healthy lifestyle and try to live life as it was my last day. So that meant I should start 2015 focusing mad hard in my studies and try to fix old ties like with old friends. So far, I’m actually making good progress being on good terms with people I use to not be with. Really happy about that. I don’t want anybody to hate or have a issue regarding about me that can be fixed if talked out.
Compare to last year, I eaten a lot more healthy because I stop smoking Mary Jane lol. I can’t believe I smoked 2 blunts a day....like wtf. Tf were you doing son??? Glad I’m done with that lifestyle. I feel so much healthier eating right. I just need to hit the gym like a mad man when I’m done with finals. I somehow got abs in the past few months and I haven’t even gym for months????
The past two years has been so rocky for me - school wise. Conflicting about majors on what to pursue, and figuring what I like was a real struggle. I’m just happy I narrowed it down, which is to be a detective. Starting from scratch really really sucks because everyone at my age is either graduating or going to grad/med school by this year or next year, and I’m back at square one lol. But I’m happy with my path for now because I want to basically become the modern super-hero as a career. I may not be running around with a cape around my back and fly in the sky, but I will catch the bad guys and help the community feel safe. In order to obtain this job its require candidates to either serve on the police work force for 2 years, and slowly rank his or her way up. Or serve the military for 2 years for combat and decision making experience. I took consideration in both, but if I’m somehow single by the time I’m done with getting a BA degree in Criminology and maybe a masters, I’ll just serve the United States for two years. Crazy, but I want to learn and become useful if there every a time of distress. I want to learn how to handle situations if people start panicking when shit goes down. I’ll be there to make people feel safe and secured. Seeing how there’s so many fucking corrupted police on the workforce makes me really sad. When I do be part in the field, I’m going to make sure that not only I will catch the bad guys on the streets, but also the the bad cops in the govt system. My dream is to restore the views on Americans that there are still good cops and detectives out there.
Commuting from University to Community College sucks dick..I would’ve stayed at my old university, but the main reason coming back home was to keep an eye on my mom. Over the years my parents always gotten into big fights. Their marriage wasn’t perfect and had many flaws to it. Super unhealthy but they stayed together the past few years because of my sister and I. Now that we are older and mature, we can offer our opinions and views when shit goes down. I’ve seen my dad walk out so many times on the fam, so I was use to it when I dropped him at the airport. My sister would always get super emotional when he leaves, I did too back then, but shit happens so often that you start to become numb and have little things to say when it happens over and over. Every since my dad left in Jan, me and my mom have been adjusting without him. We sold one of the salons to make things less stressful for her. Now she works less hours, which is really good because she’s getting to the point where her hands are constantly shaky. She sometimes cuts herself from unable to keep a steady hand when filing customers’ nails. I learned some of the responsibilities my dad left behind such as business affairs, maintenance related to business or home, cooking, maintaining his mini aquarium fish tank, taking care of my mom, etc. Like I just recently learned how to mow the lawn for the first in my life. It was a wild experience lol. I was mad struggling at first. I remember I got made fun of all the time back in high school for not knowing how to. But my father just enjoyed doing garden work and never let me have a chance.
Since it’s Mother’s day in a few days..I wish I could fast forward to the future where I am able to do a better job taking care of my mom and provide for her. I’m such a shit son sometimes, but I’ll make you proud one day, so just be patient for a little longer.
And today I actually talked to my sister for the first time in 3 - 4 months? We settle the dispute between me, her, and her bf and now moving on and be on good terms with one another. No more bullshit and drama.
I’m broke af because I bought my ticket for Ultra for 2016..Hypeeddddddddddd. YOLO.